Don't Let Go

by Michelle Lynn

  “Make your wish.” He brings the cupcake closer to me.

  I close my eyes, smelling the sweetness of the coconut and frosting. I feel the heat from the small flame on top and suck in a deep breath, secretly making my wish before releasing it to extinguish the flame.

  “I hope I was part of that wish.” Brady takes out the candle and places it inside the box. “So are you ready for my question?”

  “Just so you know, I’m a true believer in not telling anyone what I wish for. It’s bad karma and I really want this one to come true.”

  “Me too. I will never ask but…if you ever want to tell me, I wouldn’t be upset,” he laughs. “Sadie Miller?” he asks and I stare directly at him. “Did you have a good birthday?” He smiles up at me and my body can’t be wrapped in his arms soon enough.

  “The best, Brady. Thank you.” I kiss him thoroughly with every fiber of my being. How I found this man is beyond me because I don’t deserve him.

  “Sadie, you are a mysterious girl.” He places his hands on either side of my face, bringing it closer to his until our lips find one another again.

  I’m happy he doesn’t ask me any questions regarding my past. He hasn’t asked me why I never told him it was my birthday or why I faked being sick. As much as I want to tell him about Theo and my life at Drayton, it scares me that he will run when he finds out and there is no way I can lose him now.

  “Can I ask one question now?” I peek my head up from his, finishing our kiss.

  “You aren’t as sneaky as you think. Jessa found some confetti on the floor the other day and was curious. She may have checked out your driver’s license to find out, but don’t tell her I told you.” He grins, pulling me tighter into him. “She didn’t tell me until tonight when she and Rob got there, which is why this is so spur of the moment. If I would have had more time, it would have been better.”

  “It was perfect, Brady. I wouldn’t have wanted to celebrate my birthday any other way,” I confess and kiss his cheek.

  “Happy birthday, Sadie,” he whispers in my ear.

  Chapter 10

  We stayed up at the hill for a couple hours, wrapped in a blanket, talking about things we love. Brady told me how he ended up in The Invisibles with the guys and how he has always had a love of music. He said that when they asked him to sing, he decided he wanted a change of pace. What he didn’t tell me was what he needed a change of pace from. The way he spoke was as though he was someone else before then. I didn’t pry; I too have secrets I am not about to reveal yet.

  He walked me home, kissing me goodnight at the door. Even though I desperately wanted to ask him to stay, I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready for this to end between us and I fear if I sleep with him, that is exactly what will happen.

  He picked me up this morning, taking me to a Farmer’s Market in town, where he buys us fresh vegetables and fruit. It surprises me that he knows almost all the vendors, introducing me to them by first name. When they ask him how he is holding up, he shrugs them off, saying he’s great and interrupts any follow-up questions, telling them we have to go. I have never seen him this wound-up before. As the day continues and the questions from the vendors pry more, he barely smiles and eventually starts rushing us through the booths.

  By the time we get to the last vendor, Brady is holding my hand, steadily moving us toward the street. The way he’s pulling my arm, I feel as though there is some dangerous murderer following us.

  “Brady Carsen? Is that you?” A sweet older lady with grey hair and a small frame calls out to him. Brady continues to walk, but I pull him back.

  “Brady. That lady is calling your name.” I tug my hand away from his. He turns around and his expression isn’t casual and easy-going like usual. He appears cold and angry. I can tell he is mad that I stopped him. He looks at me and then at the elderly lady. Taking a deep breath and releasing it while his shoulders slump, he takes my hand again and leads me over to the table full of cookies, cakes and breads.

  “I thought that was you. How are you, Brady?” Her voice is so soft and caring, and she reminds me of a grandmother.

  “Hi, Mrs. Fletcher. I’m good. Thank you for asking,” he replies, the same answer he gave to every other person who knows him here.

  “I was sorry to hear about…” she starts but Brady quickly interrupts her.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Fletcher. This is Sadie Miller. She’s new to Western.” He puts his hand on the small of my back and I offer my hand for her to shake.

  “Nice to meet you, Sadie.” She smiles, shaking my hand in return. “Very beautiful, Brady.”

  “I agree,” Brady responds and grins back to her. The first real smile from his lips in the last hour.

  “How did he get you, darling? I hope it isn’t the bad boy band thing because my Brady isn’t some rock star that loves ‘em and leaves ‘em.” She peers directly in my eyes as though she can tell if I lie to her.

  “You’re ruining my image, Mrs. Fletcher,” Brady laughs. God, I love that sound.

  “He’s a perfect gentleman.” I look over at Brady; his lips turn up as he glances down at me.

  “Glad to hear it. Now, pick something out. It’s on me. You’re too skinny,” she adds, pinching my arm.

  “Um…” I grab my arm, holding where she pinched. Obviously, I’m not too skinny since she got some skin. I pick up a package of Rice Krispie treats and dig in my purse for the money.

  “Oh, Brady’s favorites. I used to make these for him when he was little. Just a little brown mop-haired boy running around the streets.”

  Brady turns a nice shade of pink from embarrassment. “I promise to share,” I tell her and hand her five dollars.

  “No darling, it’s fine. Any friend of Brady’s is a friend of mine.” She pushes my hand back.

  “Are you sure?” She nods. “Well then…thank you, Mrs. Fletcher.” I place them in our bag.

  “Come give me some sugar, Brady. I never see you anymore.” She holds her hands out for him to hug her. His large frame envelopes her small stature. I hear her whispering in his ear. Brady nods his head in agreement and then releases her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

  “You too, darling.” She waits for me to walk to her. I gently wrap my arms around her, trying not to break her fragile body.

  “Don’t break his heart, Sadie. He can be stubborn and bull-headed, but your reward will be tenfold if you love him. He will try to keep you out but push your way in, okay?” she whispers in my ear, making sure Brady can’t hear.

  I return back to Brady’s side and he takes my hand in his, as though it’s natural.

  “See you later, kids.” She winks at both of us as we walk away.

  “She’s sweet,” I say over to Brady as we walk over to his car.

  “Yeah, she’s like my grandmother,” he responds.

  “Did she used to babysit you or something?” I ask.

  “Kind of.” He shrugs, not divulging anything else.

  Brady drives me to his house and informs me he is going to make me lunch. We pull up to an older green house with a porch in front. There are ivory shutters with red paint outlining the windows. The grass is neatly cut and trimmed along the sidewalk. Shrubs cover the front and sides of the house. It appears to be three stories, resembling a family home rather a college student’s house. He parks in front of the detached garage and walks us through the back door.

  I’m struck by how nice the house smells. After practically living in frat houses since I entered college, I have never smelled anything this nice in a place where a bunch of guys live. We enter through the kitchen where there is a small, round oak table with chairs around it. All the appliances are a little older and the cabinets are worn, but it’s nice and presentable. There are no dishes in the sink or beer bottles strewn about.

  “Take a seat, Sadie.” He pulls a chair out for me, placing the bags from the Farmer’s Market on the table.

  “No, I’ll help you,” I insist.

  “I got this. You w
ant something to drink?” he asks.

  “Sure. Water?”

  He opens the fridge door filled with beer and I see my first sign that this is indeed a bachelor pad. Grabbing a bottle of water, he opens it before he hands it over to me.

  When he puts it on the table, he leans over and kisses me. “I have been waiting to do that all day.” He pulls away but I grab his shirt, bringing him back to me. I lick his lips and he opens with his tongue eager to meet mine. As he places his hand on the back of my neck, I loop my fingers through his hair and he groans into my mouth. He wants more so I slowly bring my tongue back into my mouth to end the kiss. The last thing I want to do is lead him on.

  “Wow. Should have started that earlier,” Brady jokes and walks back over to the fridge.

  I take a sip of my water, the coolness calming me down a bit. I have never been with a man that kisses like Brady. He never rushes it or tries to stop, as though he has all the time in the world to kiss me.

  “I hope you like egg salad.” He takes a Tupperware container out of the fridge.

  “I do. Did you make it?”

  “This morning, before I came to get you.”

  “Brady Carsen, you are full of hidden talents.” I bring my knees up and watch him move around the kitchen. It is sexy as hell seeing him go from the fridge to the counter, grabbing a knife and cutting the homemade bread we bought. His movements are smooth and decisive.

  “Sadie?” He snaps me out of my trance.

  “Sorry, yeah?” I shake my head back and forth.

  “Something has been on my mind since that time at the Student Center.” His back is still turned from me while he washes the lettuce in the sink.

  “What?” I ask, curious.

  “The deal breaker. What are yours?” he asks.

  “Um…I don’t know. I guess I just know them when I see them,” I admit.

  “Oh, come on. Tell me just one,” he pleads.

  “Alright…” I hesitate. I don’t know him nearly enough for this. Theo and I would go back and forth all day with our deal breakers, but I knew he never judged me and I never judged him. “I don’t like dirty shoes. The ones that are so worn and dirty, but I also don’t like brand new blinding white ones either. I know it’s stupid but…”

  Brady interrupts me, “It’s fine. Glad I don’t have to worry about that.” He makes me feel better.

  “So, what are yours?”

  “Well, I hate to admit this and it’s probably some guys’ opposite of deal breaker. I hate it when a girl bends over and you can see her thong,” he confesses and turns around to face me. He casually crosses his ankles and leans against the counter.

  “So if I bent over right now and you could see my thong, you would politely drive me back to the dorm and never see me again?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “Like I told you that day, I don’t think there are any deal breakers when it comes to you. Privately, feel free to bend over and show me your thong anytime but please don’t do it in front of other people. I don’t like guys seeing what’s mine.” He pushes himself off the counter to retrieve the two plates.

  “I’m yours?” I question.

  “Yep,” he says, matter of fact. “I’m sorry, did you not want to be mine?” He smirks over at me, knowing my answer.

  “I didn’t say that.” I bite my lip and stare down at the egg salad sandwich in front of me with a side of fresh fruit. I think I just agreed that Brady is my boyfriend. Too bad it will be short-lived.

  After lunch Brady gives me a tour of the house. Like I assumed, there are three floors. The main floor is the kitchen, family room and dining room. The second floor has the bedrooms, each guy having their own room and they all share two bathrooms. Outside of Brady’s room is a staircase up to the third floor, but he tells me it is all storage stuff so he doesn’t take me up there.

  I’m happy when he doesn’t walk into his room but just shows it to me through the doorway. I definitely can’t handle sitting on a bed with him. He does have a nice queen-size bed that looks appealing though.

  We walk down to the basement. Brady seems giddy with excitement before opening the door. When he pushes it open, I’m speechless. He has a music studio. We are in the room with large oversized brown leather couches and chairs lining a wall. Switchboards face a glass window that overlooks a drum set, guitars, and microphones. It is incredible and I can see how happy Brady is just being down here.

  “This is great, Brady,” I say excitedly, brushing my finger along one of the couches.

  “I know. I think I have slept down here more than in my own bed.”

  “So, this is where the magic happens with you guys?” I ask.

  “I wouldn’t say that.” He wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. “I could show you some magic if you prefer.” He brushes my hair to the side, moving his lips down my shoulder and back up to my neck.

  I close my eyes. His warm breath feels incredible. I can’t let this lead to something more so I pull away, making my way over to the switchboard. “What does this do?” I fiddle with a button.

  He comes up behind me and kisses my neck again. “Do you really want to know?” he whispers while his tongue flicks my earlobe. I close my eyes in pleasure again, willing my heart to calm down.

  “Brady,” I sigh.

  “Come here.” He grabs my hand and leads me to the couch. He positions me on his lap and rests his hands around my waist, bringing me closer to him. “I just want to kiss you, Sadie. I will never rush you,” he promises.

  Instinctively, I wrap my arms around his neck, letting him bring his lips to mine. As our tongues start to mingle together, he sucks my bottom lip and goose bumps travel up my spine. Brady’s hands start moving up and down my ribcage. The anticipation of him touching my breasts is becoming unbearable. It’s like a double-edged sword, me wanting him to go there but not wanting to lead him on. As soon as I think he is going to cup my breast, his hands move to my thighs, stroking the outside of my right leg. My fingers wrap around his hair while we continue to devour each other’s mouths.

  “God, Sadie. There is nothing better than kissing you,” he murmurs to me, breaking our kiss before his lips crash into mine again. I don’t think I have ever kissed a guy this long before. They are usually preoccupied with another part of my body.

  I respond with a moan and wrap my leg over his waist, straddling him. He places his hands on my ass, drawing me into him and I can feel how hard he is. I don’t want to tease him but I can’t yank myself away. It feels so good, so right. His hands travel up my stomach and I know where their destination is and I’m unable to stop them. Just as both of Brady’s hands cup my breasts and his thumbs rub against my peaked nipples, the door busts open and I fly off his lap, crossing my legs as though nothing is going on. Brady starts laughing and straightens out his pants, looking over at me.

  “What’s up guys?” Trey asks, making his way in the room, followed by Dex and Rob.

  “Nothing now,” Brady deadpans and brings me back onto his lap, caressing my hip bone back and forth with his thumb.

  “Sorry to ruin your time with…” Rob leers my way, “Chanel.”

  “Rob, you need to shut the fuck up.” Brady gently moves me off his lap to stand face to face with him, the tension in his shoulders so tight they could snap.

  “Alright, alright. I’ll be good.” Rob backs away and moves into the glassed-off area, picking up his guitar.

  “You staying to watch us rehearse, Sadie?” Trey asks and I notice he has a stud ring under his lip. It’s oddly appealing on him.

  I look at Brady and he raises his eyebrows, questioning if I want to stay.

  “Sure,” I agree.

  Brady sits me down in the chair in front of the switchboards while he follows the guys into the room. They start testing their instruments, joking about something I didn’t catch. Then Brady’s voice fills the room and chills travel my body in excitement.

  “This is for you, Sadie Miller.” He strums
his guitar a couple times before starting the song. The song is familiar, but I can’t place it at first. Brady’s soft brown irises are on me, patiently waiting for me to recognize it. Then the chorus comes and I figure out he is playing “Oh Sherrie” by Steve Perry, but he changes it to “Oh Sadie”. I return his smile and Brady sings it, mimicking Steve Perry in the eighties video. He clutches his fist close to his heart and bends his knees close to the ground. My whole body melts with a warmth I have never felt. There goes a little more of my heart.

  Chapter 11

  I hate Mondays, but I especially hate this Monday. After spending the weekend with Brady the last thing I want to do is Algebra. I’m still too embarrassed to ask Brady for help so I resort to my usual victim in tutoring and head to the sixth floor of the library, praying I find Grant.

  Luck must be on my side because when the elevator doors slide open, he is unpacking his backpack at one of the tables. He glances over to me and a smile comes across his lips, revealing his perfect white teeth.

  “Hey, Sadie. It’s been awhile.” He takes a seat on the table, waiting for me to walk up to him.

  “I know, I’ve been kind of busy,” I admit. It suddenly dawns on me that this could be awkward since I’m about to ask him to help me in math even though I turned him down when he had asked me out.

  “With Brady I assume?” The dislike in his tone is unmistakable.

  “Um…”

  “That’s alright, it’s none of my business.” He gets off the table and moves to sit down in a chair.

  “So, Grant. I need a favor?” I bite my lower lip and use my best puppy dog eyes.

  “When is it?” He gives a look similar to a disapproving father.

  “In two hours.” I lift my shoulders and smile coyly.

  “Sit down.” He motions to the seat across from him.

  An hour and a half later I think I finally have a grasp of the material so I stand up to say goodbye. “Thank you, Grant, you’re a lifesaver.” I start packing up my bag.

  “No problem. I’ll walk you to class.” He stands up and flings his backpack over his shoulder. I can’t help but notice how much Grant resembles Theo and every other guy I have ever known. The crisp polo and dark jeans with brown loafers. I could probably take any frat boy’s face and insert it on Grant’s body.