by Bethan Lewis
Life Begins at 40
Jersey Jaunt
Bethan Lewis
Copyright © 2020 Bethan Lewis
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
All characters and events in this publication are purely fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is coincidental.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
For my mam and dad
Chapter 1
‘Surprise!’ A chorus of voices called out from the darkness.
The light flickered on, illuminating the room. Heads popped up from behind the tables and chairs like jack in the boxes. Colourful streamers dangled from the ceiling, and a multitude of balloons with forty on them floated up from the tables. A huge banner reading ‘Happy 40th Birthday Erin’, hung across the front of the room.
Erin stood motionless in the doorway, a look of pure horror on her face, this was her worst nightmare come true. She hated being the centre of attention and everyone who knew her was aware of this. So why put her in this situation? Should she grin and bear it, or turn and run?
The silence dragged on, and the atmosphere grew uncomfortable. People started to shuffle their feet, while others stared down into their beer glasses. Erin gazed at the sea of faces, all waiting for her to say or do something. They were all here; her children Marcus and Lily, her parents, brother, friends and work colleagues. At the bar, holding a pint of lager and grinning like the cat who got the cream stood Tim, her boyfriend.
‘Mum? Are you alright?’ Lily’s soft voice penetrated the silence.
Pasting a smile on her face, Erin nodded, and walked further into the room, even though every part of her was screaming to run from the building.
‘Yes fine, just a little surprised and overwhelmed. I wasn’t expecting this at all.’
No, she wasn’t expecting it, because she had specifically requested this party was not to happen. This had to be Tim’s handiwork. Erin glanced at him, still grinning, it was obvious he was two shades to the wind, and resentment flooded her. Why did he never listen to her? He was always shoving her feelings aside in favour of doing what he wanted instead. Tim failed to understand that her needs, wants and opinions were just as important as his own.
Erin sighed, what was done was done. A lot of effort had gone into decorating the reception room, and everyone had given up their time to help her celebrate. She couldn’t disappoint them.
‘Hi mum. Dad. Thanks for coming.’ Erin greeted her parents with a quick hug.
‘Happy birthday honey. Can’t believe my baby is forty today. Where did the years go?’ Her mother said, tears forming in her eyes.
‘Now don’t go getting all emotional on me. It’s a party, it’s meant to be fun.’ Erin chided. ‘Grab a drink and some food, and enjoy yourselves. I better go mingle.’
Erin circulated around the room greeting everyone, but avoiding Tim. He was in the dog house, and she would deal with him later. Somebody placed a cocktail in her hand, and she glugged it down. The minute her glass was empty someone replaced it with another.
‘Good evening folks.’ The speakers crackled as the DJ picked up the microphone. ‘It’s time to kick things up a notch, and get this party started. I want everyone out on the dance floor.’
The lights dimmed and flashing disco lights bounced off the walls. Music blasted through the speakers and the guests started to move and sway in time to the modern track.
Erin headed to the buffet table, she was starting to feel a little woozy and needed to soak up some of the alcohol. She was munching on a sausage roll when Tim came up behind her. He slid his arms around her waist and dropped a wet kiss on the side of her neck.
‘Hey babe,’ he slurred. ‘Are you enjoying yourself?’
In all honesty, the evening wasn’t as bad as she feared it would be, but it didn’t mean he was off the hook. He had still gone against her wishes. Erin realised it wasn’t the time or place to get into an argument, and she was not about to embarrass herself and cause a scene in front of her family and friends.
‘Hello. Did you arrange all this?’ she asked.
She turned to face him, and the stench of stale beer accosted her nostrils. How many pints had he downed?
‘I did, with a little help’ he grinned, pleased with himself. ‘I am glad you are enjoying. Do you want a drink?’
‘No thanks, I have drunk enough for the time being. I need to eat, and so do you.’
Erin turned her attention back to the food table. She grabbed two paper plates, and piled them high with party nibbles.
‘Let’s sit in the corner,’ she said, hurrying to an empty table.
As they ate, they watched the other party guests dancing and singing. Everyone looked happy and carefree. Erin beamed with pride as Lily and Marcus headed towards them. ‘Gosh, how grown up they look tonight’, she thought. Lily was wearing a new dress, the red satin fabric hugged her slim figure, and shimmered in the light as she moved. Marcus was dressed in black jeans and a blue shirt. As an apprentice mechanic, Erin was used to seeing Marcus in overalls, and it made a pleasant change for her son to be dressed in something different.
‘Hi mum,’ Marcus said, kissing her cheek before pulling out the empty chair opposite. ‘Tim.’ He inclined his head towards Tim, barely glancing at him.
Erin sighed, the relationship between Marcus and Tim had never got off the ground. She often got the impression they were tolerating each other for her sake. Before Tim came along it had been the three of them, and from the start Marcus was openly resentful about having to share her with someone else. The day Marcus announced he was moving out, Erin wondered if Tim had been the deciding factor. Lily, a post-graduate music student, lived on the university campus, but came home whenever the opportunity arose. She got on well with Tim as they shared a love of classical music.
‘Ladies and gentleman, can I have your attention please?’ the DJ said as the music died down. ‘It’s time for something special now. Where’s the birthday girl?’ His gaze roved around the room and everyone pointed in her direction. ‘Ah, there she is, hiding in the corner. Can you make your way to the front of the stage please?’
Erin slid down the seat in a feeble attempt to make herself invisible. Her cheeks grew warm. Would this night never end?
‘Come on mum. On your feet,’ Marcus encouraged, as he took hold of her hands and pulled her up out of the safety of the chair.
Trying to ignore the stares, Erin willed her leaden legs towards the stage. The door to the kitchen swung open, and a man in chef’s uniform strode in carrying a huge two-tier birthday cake. There were so many candles on top Erin was afraid it posed a risk to the fire regulations.
Half way across the dance floor, her foot stepped in something soft and slimy. Her heels went out from under her, and she skidded on the polished floor, heading in the direction of the chef. His eyes opened wide as he realised what was about to happen. He started to turn, but it was too late, Erin collided with him at full speed. The huge cake flew out of his arms, somersaulted through the air and landed in a splattered heap of crumbs. The candles caught the edge of the table cloth, and it quickly went up in flames.
The guests broke off in the middle of singing the ‘happy birthday’ song, and started screaming and shouting. Erin lay on the floor stunned and embarrassed, icing and cream dripping from her hair.
‘Call the fire brigade,’ som
eone shouted.
‘Pass me the fire extinguisher,’ called out another.
‘There is no need to panic. Everyone, please make your way to the fire exit. Quick as you can, single file please,’ Tim commanded, as Erin pulled her sore body up off the floor.
Blushing furiously, and avoiding eye contact, Erin followed the others out of the pub. They congregated at the far end of the car park, where the staff indicated the meeting point was. The high-pitched wailing of sirens reached her ears, and the flashing blue lights of the fire engine lit up the road as it raced up to pub.
Half an hour later, the fire chief declared the building safe. Everyone wandered back inside, but the enthusiasm of the evening had evaporated. The party was ruined, and one by one they started to drift off.
‘Don’t fret over this, accidents happen dear,’ her mother said, hugging her goodbye. ‘Thanks for a fun evening. Your dad and I enjoyed ourselves. Come for a visit soon.’
‘Excellent party,’ a co-worker called out.
‘Best I have been to in a long time. See you Monday,’ another colleague said with a grin on his face.
Erin covered her flaming face with her hands and groaned out loud, she would never live this down. Her humiliation would be all around the office on Monday morning.
‘Mum, are you okay? You took a nasty tumble,’ Lily asked in concern.
Erin nodded and reached out to hug her daughter. ‘I am fine. Text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe.’
‘Will do. Bye Mum. Speak to you in the week,’ Lily said
Then, just like that, everyone was gone, and she was standing on the pavement with Tim, waiting for their ride home. From the corner of her eye she observed Tim, and was surprised to find him glaring at her. His narrowed eyes, and firm set of his mouth told her he was furious.
‘How could you be so stupid?’ Tim said.
What? He didn’t honestly think she had caused the fire on purpose to ruin the party. As she studied his face, she realised that’s exactly what he thought.
‘I didn’t do it deliberately. Anyway, this would never have happened if you had listened to me in the first place. I didn’t want a dumb party to start with,’ Erin shouted.
‘You ungrateful cow!’ Tim roared. ‘I went to a lot of trouble for you. This evening cost a small fortune, and now there are damages to pay for as well. Since you started the fire, you can pay the bill.’
Erin rolled her eyes. ‘Here we go again,’ she thought. Why did everything always come down to money? Tim always pretended to be broke, but in truth he was loaded and was just a modern day scrooge.
A black taxi pulled up at the curb, putting a stop to their angry exchange. They climbed in, seating themselves as far away from each other as possible. Tim’s mobile jingled, and he pulled it from his pocket, turned the screen away from Erin and briefly looked at the message. His face lit up, and he smiled to himself as his fingers flew across the miniature keyboard typing a reply.
‘Anything important?’ Erin asked, curious as to what was making him smile.
‘No, nothing to concern yourself with,’ Tim said, sliding the phone back in his trouser pocket.
The remainder of the journey was unbearable, and Erin breathed a sigh of relief when the car stopped outside the flat.
‘Keep the change,’ Tim said, and flung the money at the startled driver. Without waiting, he got out of the car and hurried into the building.
‘I am so sorry,’ Erin said, appalled at Tim’s treatment of the poor driver, whose only crime was to be driving them home.
Erin dashed up the steps to the flat, and slammed the front door shut. She stomped straight into the bedroom where Tim was undressing.
‘Was it necessary to behave in such a bad manner?’ Erin said. ‘It’s me you’re angry with, you didn’t need to take it out on him.’
Ignoring her, he continued to fold his clothes, then climbed into bed and turned his back on her. Within minutes, he was sound asleep, snoring loud enough to wake the dead.
‘Oh great, no sleep for me tonight,’ Erin said aloud, as she pulled off her clothes, and tossed them on the floor.
Her head was spinning with thoughts as she slid beneath the duvet. She couldn’t go on like this. Something had to change. She had an important decision to make.
Chapter 2
Erin stood in the doorway watching Tim as he sat on the couch, glued to the blaring television. He was so engrossed in the noisy action film he failed to notice her standing there. Empty beer bottles littered the coffee table in front of him, and plates stacked high with the remains of the evening meal, balanced precariously on the edge
Two days had passed since her birthday party, and although they were being civil to each other, the atmosphere was still as frosty as the North Pole.
Erin grimaced as he belched and broke wind for the hundredth time that evening. His hand went to his crotch readjusting his male equipment. Straight after, his fingers went in his mouth, and he started biting his fingernails. When had he become so disgusting? Had he always behaved like this, but she had ignored his flaws because she was so blinded by love? No, when they first met six years ago at the photography class, he had been the perfect gentleman, witty and charming. Thinking back, she wondered if it had all been an act, or had she seen past his imperfections because she was wearing rose-tinted glasses.
Tim was fifteen years her senior, and when he first approached her she had held back, but he appeared to be a decent bloke, and a few weeks after meeting they went on their first date. Despite his age, he was energetic, vigorous and a lot of fun. That was five years ago, and how things had transformed.
Three and a half years in to their relationship they took the plunge, and he moved into her flat. At the time Erin had misgivings, but she pushed them aside. Moving in together was the next natural step in a relationship. She should have listened to her intuition. The minute his feet were under her table his true colours surfaced. He took over the flat, substituting her belongings with his own.
Six months ago, and despite her objections, he took early retirement, claimed his spot on the couch, and was now a permanent fixture in front of the television. He stayed in bed until lunch time, and spent the whole day in his pyjamas. They didn’t talk anymore and never laughed. Going out was a rarity, and when they did, he drunk like a fish and became over loud and brash.
Erin couldn’t put her finger on the exact date her feelings had changed. It wasn’t a sudden thing. She hadn’t woken up one morning, and just decided she didn’t love him anymore. The process was more gradual, something that happened over a few months. There was no single event which changed her mind, but a compilation of things all coming together at once.
Straightening her shoulders she drew a quick breath, and strode into the room. It was now or never.
Crumbs covered the furniture, and she clenched her jaw shut as annoyance shot through her. Why couldn’t he clean up after himself like a normal person? A little respect for her and her home wouldn’t go amiss.
For a brief moment Tim drew his gaze away from the huge flat screen. ‘Hi. Everything alright?’
Erin paused for a split-second, before saying the words everyone dreads to hear. ‘We need to talk.’ Except her words didn’t seem to register with Tim, he turned his attention back to the television as if she hadn’t spoken.
‘Tim,’ Erin said, a little more sharply than intended. ‘Can you turn the TV off? I want to talk to you about something.’
‘Can’t it wait?’ Tim whined. ‘There’s only twenty minutes left of the film.’
‘No, it cannot wait. This is important.’
Huffing and puffing, clearly irritated, he reached for the remote control and muted the sound, but that wasn’t good enough for Erin, she needed his full attention. Snatching the remote out of his hand, she pressed the off button.
‘Hey! I am watching that,’ Tim said, his voice rising.
‘Not anymore,’ Erin answered.
‘So, what
is so important that it couldn’t wait a mere twenty minutes?’ Tim asked.
Erin took a deep breath, this was it. The moment she had been rehearsing for had arrived.
‘I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last couple of days,’ she said, avoiding eye contact. ‘About us.’
This got his attention, and he stopped fidgeting on the sofa. His body swivelled to face her, and his eyes narrowed. ‘Go on.’
‘Well… this situation…our situation,’ she paused, the conversation had sounded much easier in her head. Wringing her hands in her lap, her palms started to sweat, and she rushed on before she lost her nerve. ‘This isn’t working for me anymore. Our relationship has run its course. It’s not going anywhere. We are at a dead end, and I want us to break up.’
Okay, what she had originally planned to say hadn’t been quite as blunt as that. She felt a little remorseful as Tim reeled backwards as if he had been slapped. He looked utterly dejected, and his mouth was doing goldfish impressions as he tried to find his voice.
‘You are dumping me?’ he asked incredulously. ‘Why?’
‘I realise now that we aren’t compatible. The age gap is starting to show, and it is obvious we are at different stages of our lives, we don’t want the same things.’
That sounded mature and nice, but in truth what she wanted to say was, “you disgust me and I don’t love you anymore, now move out of my house.”
‘Like what? I thought this is what we both wanted. Move in, settle down and grow old together. I assumed we were happy.’
‘You are so much older than me. You have experienced, and done things with your life that I haven’t had the opportunity to do yet. I want to travel, meet new people, get married…,’ his expression changed at the ‘M’ word, and Erin trailed off.
‘That is what this is about? Marriage? I told you from the beginning it wasn’t on the cards. I was married before, and losing Sian was the most painful experience of my life. I vowed on her death bed that I would never marry again. I thought you were cool with that.’
