Stolen Tyme

by S. L. Ziegler

  His long fingers push his dark hair back, while he reads my every movement. “I don’t know how to answer that question.”

  “How about the truth? Start with that. The damn truth.”

  I take a deep breath, and for the first time, I notice X doesn’t have a shirt on. The only article of clothing he’s wearing is a white towel around his waist; droplets of water fall from his hair and roll down his chest.

  Impeccable timing.

  My breath is cut short.

  “I’ve been writing songs for him for two years, and no, I didn’t know it was you that would be singing it. But can’t say I wasn’t fucking happy to hear my words come from your mouth.”

  “You swear?”

  “Yes, I have nothing to gain from lying to you now. You already hate me.”

  “Okay.” True. Please let his words be true. For the first time.

  He tightens his hold on the towel. “That’s it?”

  “Yes. I’ll be leaving. I apologize if you think I was overreacting. It’s just…that was the first thing I was proud of in a really long time. And I didn’t want to feel like I didn’t get it on my own.”

  “Where did you hear that?”

  “Tara.”

  He raises his brows in question.

  “Sorry, my assistant. She called and said everyone’s talking about how the old singer from Twisted Tyme writes for Dylan, and you probably wrote more for other people.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. Fuck.” His face pinches in anguish.

  I shouldn’t care, not one ounce, but for some stupid reason, I want to know, and there’s even a part of me that wants to make him happy again. “Why do you want to keep it quiet?”

  “Because I don’t want to be in the spotlight at all. Now that it’s out, I will, and if they think I’m writing for others, they’ll keep digging until they find something. The press will run with it before they even know the whole truth. You should know, it’s how they work.”

  “Sorry?”

  He avoids looking right at me, but I can’t tear my gaze from the worry in his eyes. “Not your fault.”

  Somehow, I still feel I should be part of the blame. Confused thoughts fill my mind. It’s his fault after all, yet I was the one who delivered the bad news…again.

  “I’m going to head out, and you can get back to doing whatever you were doing. Sorry again that this is out.”

  His callused palm wraps around my wrist. “You really want to leave?”

  “Yes.” No. Trying—but failing—to keep my cold heart directed toward him.

  He edges closer, his grip stronger on me. “You don’t want to. I can see it. I feel it. Help give me something good today.”

  My pulse beats erratically at the sound of his deep voice. My breath becomes shallow and comes in quick gasps. “You do?” Emotion clouds my judgment.

  His eyes capture mine. With another step closer to me, his tongue swipes his top lip just before X traps me against the wall. “I’ll give you what you want if you give me what I want.” His rich voice floods over me.

  “What is it you want?”

  “To talk.” X’s index finger slides down my neck, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake.

  “Nothing to talk about.”

  Lowering his head, his hot breath in my ear, he whispers, “Everything.”

  I feel myself quickly losing my fight. My senses vanish as X brings his hips toward mine and his hard length hits me between my legs. The feelings he gives me have no reason, and each beat of my heart while I’m locked in his arms only intensifies them. He will always be my weakness.

  X’s mouth turns into a grin as he sweeps me into his arms, and my hands explore every inch of his back. My dress rises over my ass as he grabs it. The towel drops to the ground, and he carries me weightlessly to his room before dropping me down onto his bed.

  My eyes rake over his body, the artwork that covers his skin, making him even more appealing. The desire for more consumes me.

  He angrily takes my lips with his, tearing at my panties in the process. His fingers tease my clit before he slides the metal ring in his dick over that sensitive spot, causing my legs to shake.

  “You can have it. One push, and I’ll be in you. All I want is one conversation. One simple chat with you. How hard can that be. Just say yes.”

  “That’s blackmail.”

  “It’s not. Just using my resources. And this seems to be the only thing of mine you can’t resist—hell, I may even say like.”

  And it is. Seven years without a single touch from another person, and with one from him, I’m a mess. I can’t deny him. It’s too much to even try. It’s the vice I will always crave, the addiction I’ll never break.

  I lift my hips higher, the urge to have more of him builds with each second.

  He takes my ear between his teeth, causing a moan to break from my mouth.

  “You want it. I want it.”

  I’ve had enough. X’s cool voice shatters every bit of resolve left in me. I’ll worry about the consequences tomorrow, because I’m here, in his bed, and the fight to resist him has disappeared.

  “I will.”

  “You will what?”

  “Talk, just fuck me. Please.”

  X’s face splits into a smile as he pushes in. Every stroke he gives hits right where I need him. His fingers grip my hips, and he bucks against me.

  Faster.

  Commanding.

  Urging.

  It’s building. My toes tingle. My fingers are numb. My eyes water. And then—then, I explode. Over and over again.

  He pulls out, and with one stroke of his own, X erupts all over my stomach.

  I glance down as he rubs his fingers in it.

  Marking me.

  Owning me.

  One blink, one beat of my heart, then silence rings out between us.

  “Let me get you cleaned up.”

  Reality crashes down on me. I did it again. My well-being goes out the window when he’s near, preventing me from thinking rationally.

  The warmth of the washcloth sends chills over my naked body, but I still can’t bring myself to make eye contact with him.

  Mistakes.

  Regrets.

  Heartbreak.

  This time around, I am the one breaking my own heart.

  I pull myself up, and my dress falls over me.

  “We can talk now.” The words falling from X’s lips become the bucket of cold water I need poured on me.

  It’s his voice, how calm and collected it rings out.

  It’s how he stands, propped up against the wall like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

  It’s his gaze that cascades over me.

  It’s his fucking stupid smirk on his perfect fucking face I knew I should’ve slapped yet again.

  It’s simply him.

  The mixture disgusts me.

  “You want to talk?” I blurt out, scarcely aware of how demanding I sound.

  “That’s what you promised.”

  I stand up—the tiny amount of pride I had, spent. “Let’s chat then. This is what I have to say. I was going to give it up. All for you. I didn’t tell you I wanted to stay with you and help with Charlie to blow steam your way. My dreams changed the moment I opened my heart to you. Did you know that? I wouldn’t have said something if it wasn’t the truth. If you got anything out of our time together, you would’ve realized that. My dreams changed with you. For you. It was only for you. Did you know that?”

  X steps closer, as if him being in closer proximity will help, but it does the opposite. “You think that, but you would’ve stayed, and you would’ve regretted it.”

  “No, I wouldn’t have. Not one bit. I wanted to help you raise Charlie. Be your partner. That was the dream I was chasing. I understand it wasn’t yours, but it felt like you threw me away. That’s the hard realization of all this.” He’d tossed me aside like my mom did with the nest—that’s why it hurt so badly.

  “You were
nineteen. What were you going to do? Stay home and play Monopoly Jr. with us on Fridays instead of going to clubs and hanging out with your friends? Or how about taking Charlie to the doctor when she was sick instead of being on stage? Or the biggest regret—never having a chance to see your shows under the big lights? Hate it or love it—that’s my life now. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing. But you would’ve had to change it all. Sooner or later, you would have regretted it. Then hated me, and eventually hated us.”

  “We’ll never know what we could’ve been.”

  “But now we can, Naomi.”

  It’s the very way he says my name that sends my thoughts in deep circles. He has a twisted sense of what really happened.

  I’m drowning in him, in us, and being in his presence is like a life jacket, not a rescue mission. And I need to be rescued if I want to come out of it alive this time.

  “No, we can’t. Problem is…last time you held my heart so tight in your grip you strangled it. This time, you won’t get a chance to hold the pieces left. I’m leaving, and I won’t let you push me out of the way again. My dad still hates you. And you’ll be fighting for Charlie, again. You have no room in your life for me. Face those facts.”

  “We can swing it.” X’s soft voice urges me, like this would be simple. Only we weren’t simple then, and this time around, my heart is hardened.

  “What…and have fun again ‘til everything comes crashing down? That’s not me. I’m not the girl that only lives for the minute anymore.” I wish I was. Because she was fun, lived her life. But everything has changed, and I can’t live in the middle of that memory anymore.

  “No, but we can play it by ear.” It’s like he thinks his answer is obvious and plausible. Neither of which are true.

  Shaking my head, I respond, “I don’t think so. I’m going to go. Please, let’s not do this anymore. I can’t take it.”

  My soul can’t.

  I gather what’s left of my pride before walking out the door.

  Chapter 7

  Xavier

  The smell of oil fills my nose, and the sound of bikes being tuned on the back dock is a reminder of exactly where I am. I never thought I’d step foot into this building again. I thought whatever need I had to be here disappeared the minute the plane caring Naomi lifted off the ground. Now, I’m not so sure. I knew he hated me after we left things seven years ago. I know he still does. He had—has—every right to, and I own that realization head on.

  But if I want, or can have, the smallest hint of a future with Naomi, I have to face this demon. However, this one happens to be the same person who used to stand next to me and help me slay them. Now, we’re against each other. Now, it’s man to man, the way I should’ve done it in the first place. It didn’t play out that way, though. I handled Naomi like she was nothing to me—I hid it, hid her away in my house like some summer fling to pass the time. Nothing could surpass her, though. The lies, the guilt, both mixed with our time and love spent, and I won’t have that storm ruin what could be.

  If I’m given the occasion.

  “Can I help…” Lock’s tall frame stomps through the door, his voice darkening when he narrows his eyes at me. “Oh, it’s fucking you. What the hell do you want?”

  If looks could kill, I would already be six feet under. But for once, I don’t care. It’s the risk I’ll take. Squaring my shoulders, I answer his question. “I wanted to clear the air.” I’m surprised by the roughness in my words.

  He clenches his fist, twisting the cloth between his fingers. Exactly like he probably wants to do to me. If he could make me the rag wrapped around his hand, I’d be a pretzel. Dead or a piece of food…not sure which is better.

  Lock steps closer, his shadow towering over me. “Clear the air? It’s not the air you should be worrying about now.”

  I run my fingers through my hair, buying time, knowing every word that comes out of my mouth has to be said just right if I want a fighting chance to explain. “I’m cutting to the chase since you don’t give a shit about anything else. I know what I did wasn’t right. I knew then. Hell, I know now. But that’s not why I’m here. If it was, I would’ve come by before, and that’s not going to get your respect back, either. I know. Out of all the shit that exploded, what I regret is lying to you. To her. To me. Bold face, stood there and I lied.”

  Lock lets out a rough laugh. “You lied about a lot of shit.”

  “I accept that. But Naomi—I loved her. I did then more than I thought possible. I can’t say I love her now, because we both have changed, but if she’ll give me the time of day, I know I’ll love the person she has become. The difference this time, is when I figure this out, I’ll love her the way we both deserve and never leave.”

  There. It’s out and I’m not dead—yet.

  He glances around his shop, all his employees’ work forgotten, replaced with the show unraveling in front of them.

  Lock hooks a thumb to the door. “Outside. Now. These idiots are worse than a sorority house. Not to mention, if I kill you, they will be witnesses. Wouldn’t want them to have to testify against the boss. May hurt their paychecks.”

  The heavy steps of his boots hit the ground as he follows me out front. I can feel his stare burning in the back of my skull with each step we take.

  Lock throws a glance over his shoulder to make sure the coast is clear, then through his clenched teeth, he lays it all out. “I knew something was up with Naomi. It was me and her against the world ‘til that summer, and she seemed different. Freer almost. Walking around the house with a big goofy grin on her face, whistling while she was doing dishes. Not bitching at me if I left my clothes out. But stupid fucking me, I thought it was her finally leaving, or hell, the fight we got into when she finally gathered the courage to tell me what she really wanted to do.” Lock inches closer, masking all his emotions.

  “All up ‘til about a week before she was scheduled to leave. The calendar was filled with Xs on each day for months as she marked the time to her escape. And then none, and nothing she owned was packed. I thought it was our fight, though—or hell, her way of trying to make things easier on me. But it wasn’t ‘til the day of her party when she told me she didn’t want to leave anymore that I knew it was bigger than all that. It wasn’t cold feet. Naomi said she thought long and hard over it, and her dreams changed. It was like the daughter I had changed overnight. That’s when I knew it was more. Did you know that?”

  “No.” I didn’t then. I didn’t know until our conversation yesterday that it wasn’t a rash thought that crossed her mind in the driveway. She had wanted to stay. Truly stay here—with me. Naomi was willing to lay everything on the line to stay by my side. She was really willing to give it all up…all for me. The kind of love she had for me. That’s why I won’t regret the choice I made for both of us. Life had to move on without our love, so she could see what the real world was about.

  Plain and simple.

  No ifs or buts.

  Better late than never.

  “That’s not even the worst part of any of this shit, Xavier.” The fifteen-year-old kid inside me just died a little by him using my real name, but I’ll take it and raise him the man I am now. “Did you know after I found out about you guys that she wouldn’t eat or drink? For days. Or that she cried all the time? The sobs were so bad she would puke. And every time Penny or I would calm her down, it’d only last for a split-second before she’d start all over again. It was a damn sick cycle. To this day, those are the cries I hear when your name comes to mind. It’s right here.” He lifts his rough finger to his head, each breath seeming to move him closer. “Did you know it was because she thought you didn’t love her? That she thought she wasn’t good enough for anyone?”

  “No.”

  It was the opposite of her not being good enough. Naomi was too good, too pure to stay.

  “And another thing.” Lock goes in with his killing casualness. “Did you know I had to pack her bags and physically place her on the plane my
self? Had to buy a damn ticket so I knew one hundred percent she was away from you and wouldn’t come back? And that was her pain by what you caused—by you saying you didn’t love her. Did you know that?”

  “No.”

  “That’s right, you don’t. Because you said you didn’t love her. You drove her away. You pushed her right out the door. I’m not a fucking idiot. I’ve known you damn near my whole life. It didn’t take me long to figure out the whole motive beyond your moves. You were trying to make a payment on something you did before my daughter even entered your life. It didn’t have a single thing to do with her.

  “We’d been friends for a fucking long time before my dick could even get hard, before you knew what a tattoo gun was. Saw you at your worst, you saw me at mine. We had respect and love for each other. Like family. You were my goddamn family. I let you into my inner circle, and you still didn’t come to me. Man to fucking man to tell me you crossed that line. That line that should’ve never been crossed, but you did it anyway. And damned the consequences the whole time.”

  “Lock, it isn’t something I’m proud of. I knew each time we touched—”

  “Don’t you fucking dare finish that thought if you want to live to see Charlie grow up. Trust me, your death won’t be painless, and I’ve had a long time to perfect it in my head, so doing it won’t be a problem. Got it?”

  One single nod from me. I get it.

  “Right…I fucked up…” Deep breath. “Something was there between us, something I couldn’t figure out, still don’t understand it. I never meant to hurt her, or cross that line. But Naomi is…well, Naomi. Once we talked, nothing could’ve stopped me. She blows my mind. You became an afterthought when it came to her, and she became my core.

  “Bottom line, it—we—happened. No turning back—no rewinds, but I can’t and won’t tell you I regret it. I’m not going to feed you lines just to make things better between us. With all this mess, with Naomi, with you…the only regret I’ll ever have is telling her I didn’t love her, when every breath I took was filled with love for her…” My words trail away. I’ve said what I came to say.