Stolen Tyme

by S. L. Ziegler

  Naomi said she wouldn’t let me because it wasn’t her normal show, and she wanted the all-clear from the company she wrote it for first. I didn’t like her answer then, and don’t like it even more the longer Callum waits on the other end of the line.

  “Yes.”

  “She has been contracted to star in it for a month.”

  “What?”

  A month. She wouldn’t. No. Naomi would tell me. She would. I trust her that much.

  “Naomi is doing it for a month. My buddy that did our lights in the shows, he’s there now. It’s also in Vegas. What are you going to do with that? You have said Vegas is a hard limit for you.”

  It is. Was. Vegas, LA. New York City are all nos. They are places that never sleep, and the drugs to keep up with cities like that are like peppermints in restaurants.

  Everywhere.

  Anywhere.

  “What?” The phone in my hand starts to shake, and the other hand balls into a fist as the realization sinks in.

  “Yep, she leaves in two weeks, and while she’s there, she’s singing at the awards show with Dylan. Did she tell you that one?”

  Not one lone whisper came from Naomi’s lips about any of this.

  I told her no more fucking stages with anyone but me—that shit better change now after the moment we shared singing together. Naomi wouldn’t go back. She can’t go back. Not in a million years would she do it. But Callum wouldn’t lie to me; he has nothing to gain from telling me, while Naomi has everything to lose.

  Forever wasn’t supposed to feel this way. Forever wasn’t supposed to be a mask for betrayal.

  “How the fuck did you hear about this before me?”

  “I’m still in the fucking business. My ear is to the ground, and if I hear anything that has to do with you, I listen more closely. I told you I will always have your back. And this is me having it.”

  I sit and silently take everything in, the anger slowly spreading throughout my body. She’s going to leave me. It’s a done deal, and Naomi never said one single fucking word about it.

  “Go talk to her, man. Just see what she has to say for herself. And, X, don’t blow up when she does, that could be the reason she didn’t tell you it in the first place.”

  “Now you’re being sensible after dropping a bomb like that.”

  The trouble is ahead of us, and nothing she can say can save it.

  Callum knows I’m one tick away from blowing up. “Don’t, man.”

  “I have to go. I’ll be back Sunday night. Don’t do anything about the song ‘til you hear from me.”

  A sigh comes from Callum. “Xavier, be smart about this. Think about the bigger picture.”

  “I’m always smart, and I see the biggest fucking picture. Isn’t that what you wanted me to see? Well, that’s what I see.” All I see now. I loved her enough last time and let her go. That love called for time apart.

  Now is the time to find out what this love really is.

  I press the red button and storm through the room. I sit down on the couch and stare at Naomi, her breathing even, her beauty like I’ve never seen. Even with the anger burning inside me, I can still appreciate it.

  She must feel me staring as she begins to stir against me.

  “Hey you.” Her voice is laced with sleep.

  “Hey,” I say, clutching the phone to my hand.

  “What’s wrong?” Naomi sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

  “Are you leaving?”

  Her gaze darts around the room before landing back on mine. “Who told you?”

  “Callum.”

  “Oh.” Her words appear haunted, but I’m not falling for it. Not this time.

  “The response you are giving me shouldn’t be ‘oh.’ Why did I hear it from him and not from you?”

  Naomi lays a hand on my thigh, peeking through her dark lashes. “I was going to tell you. Really I was. Please believe me. It just never felt like the right time to drop it on us. With how you acted when we talked about children, and how you wouldn’t let me leave… I didn’t want you to wreck it. It was a huge thing that they wanted me to actually perform, and I couldn’t be talked out of it. You would have done that.”

  “You think I would have told you if you took the job I would leave you?”

  It’s like a knife straight through my heart. Naomi thinks that little of our relationship that I would push her away.

  That pains me the most.

  “X, I don’t know what I was thinking keeping it from you. I wanted to tell you. I did. But every time I opened my mouth to say the words, the thought crossed my mind that you would kick me out. Like last time. And I signed the papers when we had that fight. I couldn’t change my mind on this. It wouldn’t be that easy to leave, but I swear I was going to tell you. It’s not like you are always the easiest person to have a conversation with when you get like this.”

  “Jesus Christ, Naomi. After everything I’ve said, after everything I’ve done to prove to you this is forever, you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. This…what we have doesn’t have strings attached. Did you never get that?”

  “It wasn’t that.” Naomi squeezes my leg, but I brush her off and stand up.

  This is too much.

  “Cut the bullshit. It was that.”

  “Yes, you’re right…partially it was. But mostly it was a mixture of everything thrown at us. That fight and you pushing me away, then the child thing. Tonight I was going to tell you, but then I heard you on the phone about not marrying me. And so I figured I would wait it out.”

  “Naomi, I wasn’t fucking pushing you away, but you kept something about my child from me. I had to deal with that. And the baby thing…you seemed fine with. What the fuck did you hear about me not marrying you?”

  All of this is bullshit. I told her what I wanted.

  “Yep, I was ready before you got off the phone this afternoon and heard you say you wouldn’t marry me.”

  I bark out a laugh. “Did you hear the whole conversation then? I was telling my lawyer that when I will marry you, it won’t be just to get Charlie. It will only be because I love you. Not that. That was the fucking conversation.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yep, oh. You didn’t want to talk to me about that? No wonder you didn’t want to tell me. And what’s this about a baby? I thought we talked about it.”

  Cleared it up actually.

  Put that out of the fucking equation for us.

  “No, you talked about it. You said you didn’t want another baby.” Deep lines etch her forehead.

  “And you agreed.” It was like I was the only one present in the conversations between us. Naomi ignored everything else, everything that didn’t benefit her. This night is not going as planned.

  “I didn’t.” The scowl on her face should worry me. But it only builds the growing anger.

  “Do you want one? A child I mean?”

  I wait for the answer, the answer I thought I already had. But this was the one I would ignore. I’m just as bad as Naomi. If her answer didn’t benefit me, I didn’t want to hear it. I’m in love with her that bad that I would do—give—anything for us to be on the same boat.

  “A baby? I don’t know. Certainly not now, but when the time comes, maybe I will. I can’t answer that today, but to have the option would be nice.” Her mouth turns to a delicate pout, so delicate she seems like she’s about to break.

  Nice, sure it would be nice.

  “When?”

  “Yes, when.”

  “It’s not if to you.” It was “if” before, now it’s “when.” Fucking when. I don’t know what to say or where to start with her.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it, but lately, it’s been when. And when I held Courtney’s baby, I thought maybe one day I would like one. Maybe. I don’t know. But when I dream of my future, a baby would be there. If it were up to me.”

  “And I don’t want one.” Not at all.

  “You don’t.”


  Both of my hands scrape my scalp as the realization of how off the two of us truly are. “I…can’t deal with this shit right now. I have my bike here in the garage. You take my truck back. I need a break.”

  I peer into her eyes, begging internally for something to be different between us, the anger shouldn’t be there for someone I love so fucking much. But it is. Clear as day. I would do just about anything to get past this, but I can’t move forward from here. Not right now. Not with her in my space.

  “No, X, if it’s a baby—”

  It’s so much more than a damn baby. “Stop, just stop. I can’t deal with it, and if I stay, I’m going to say something I can’t take back.”

  I turn my back on her. I know I can’t deal with this…not with the way my emotions are coursing through my body, and I can’t find the words to fight right now.

  Chapter 18

  Naomi

  My heart hasn’t felt right since the second Xavier walked out. My body screamed at me to go after him, but I had chains around my heart. I wouldn’t fight him when he refused to fight for me—for us. Not anymore. I want a child, later. He doesn’t. I can’t change our love, but I can change my future. I have the say.

  And lately, that’s the only thing I have a hold on.

  “Hey, Omi.” The dip in her voice makes me colder. I shouldn’t be at dance today, but I needed one more day with her, one more chance for her to see that I love her. No matter what happened. She needs to know I wouldn’t leave her if I didn’t have to.

  The oxygen burns my lungs while I place a smile on my lips before facing her. “Hey, Charlie.”

  “I have a problem.”

  At the word “problem,” my smile falls. “What is it?”

  “That guy I got in trouble with… You know the one…”

  Yep, the one that caused the first fight between her dad and me that led to the other ones. I don’t think I could forget him.

  “Yes, I know the guy.”

  The guy who ended up being trouble before, because apparently, twelve-year-olds can be cheaters.

  “His girlfriend is being awful to me.”

  To have those problems again.

  “What is she doing?”

  “Just being awful.”

  I place a hand on her shoulder. “Charlie, you have to give me more than that to work with.”

  “Spreading rumors.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Are your friends believing them?”

  “No, but still.”

  “Listen, be strong in who you are. Stand tall and tell your own truth. That’s all you can do when teenage kids are being shitheads. Is this girl hitting you?”

  I swear to everything holy if she is, I will die.

  “No.”

  “If she does, hit her right back. I’m kidding.” Kind of. “Listen, girls are mean. Really mean. And sometimes, telling teachers can make it even worse, because then you have the title tattletale tied to your name. But trust your instincts, and if it becomes too much, please tell someone. Be true to what you believe and what’s right. You hear me? You should also talk to your dad about this. He probably has better things to say.”

  “I will.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes. I promise to tell him. Pops told me last night you’re leaving.”

  I drop my defense. She deserves to know the truth.

  “I am, tomorrow actually, but I’m only going to be a phone call away. I promise I will always have time for you. And you are never alone—never. I promise. Day, night, it doesn’t matter, I’m here for you.”

  I hope with the hard times that will come in her life, she will remember that. I will always have her back.

  “Thanks, Omi. I’m taking you up on that. I’ll bug you so much it’s going to be like you’re here anyway.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.” Love to hear. I don’t want to have to miss her when my heart is so busy missing Xavier.

  A frown line appears on her face as she peeks at the clock on the wall. “I have to go. Mom will be outside now. I love you.” She squeezes my waist, and I can’t help the tears that form.

  “I love you too, Charlie.”

  With all my heart. I do.

  I wish I had a crystal ball to show me how my future will play out, a card reader to tell me my heart won’t break anymore. Mistakes. I’m a mistake. I should have trusted him to tell him the truth about everything. What I overheard, what I want. Everything.

  But I didn’t. I chose to keep it in until the bottle top popped off with an explosion. Two people have never loved each other the way we do, but all good things come to an end. And I guess this is the end of us.

  Now my bags are packed to leave for more than a month without any resolution between us. Two weeks since I’ve seen Xavier, and our only communication is him telling me he still needs time to think. Think about what, I’m not sure because he isn’t giving me the option to talk to him.

  The whole ride home from the mountains, I had tears in my eyes over it. Lock is at a loss over what to do. I won’t cry in front of him. I don’t want to give him more ammunition to hate Xavier more than he already does. Hadley hasn’t asked anything, but the way she looks at me, I know she knows. He probably ran to them and told them I was the loser who wanted more out of something than he could give.

  But I found the will to be normal this time. I’ve had a life without X before. I had a good life without him. This time I won’t long for him—I will live for me. Even with the impression he left on me still there.

  “Are you ready to get going? Your flight leaves in three hours.”

  “I am. I think I got everything.”

  “If you forgot anything, I’ll bring it out opening night.”

  “You’re coming?”

  He’s never seen anything I was in. He didn’t care about it. I never got a “good job,” or celebratory flowers from him.

  “I’ve missed too many opening nights. This one, I will be front and center. Just tell me you won’t be naked? Please, for the love of fucking God. Tell me I won’t have to kill someone for making a comment about your body.”

  “Pops, I don’t do topless. Promise.”

  It took me one time to figure it out. It wasn’t about that for me.

  Lock throws his hands in the air. “Thank Jesus. Now that that shit is over, Naomi, I want to tell you I wouldn’t have chosen this road you are on…that you seem to want so badly. I wanted you home with me where I could look after you. I didn’t get that, and I’m glad. I’m proud of you. Of the things you’ve overcome to get where you are.”

  The tears in the corners of my eyes burn.

  “One day, you will find the something you’re searching for. And if that fucker did this to you again…I’ll kill him.”

  “It wasn’t him, or me. It was us. Together. The age, the wants and our needs in life are too different. I should have known.”

  I’ve always known, since the first time we kissed, we were too good to last.

  “My offer will always stand to kill anyone who hurts you. He would be the best present you could give me.”

  “Thank you. Now I have to get going. The lines are going to be killer.”

  “One more thing. Can I retire now that my daughter can take care of me?”

  “Stupid Lock. I’ll never take care of you.”

  He picks up my bags. “Figures I would get the one daughter who wouldn’t want to help her old man.”

  I stare at the board above me, the flight staring me down. It shouldn’t feel like I’m running. But it does. More like sprinting to a place I’m not sure will fill the void that’s missing. But that’s just what I’m doing.

  “Three bags checked, ma’am?”

  Bringing my attention to the lady across from me, I say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you?”

  “You only have three bags today?”

  “Oh, yes. Three.”

  Three bags. I packed my life for the next couple of months in a total of three measly ba
gs.

  “You’re at terminal F, gate thirty-two. Enjoy your flight.”

  “Thank you.”

  I sling my carry-on over my head and make my way to security.

  I’m off.

  Ready or not.

  Xavier made up his mind—the time we shared is over. And somehow, this time it feels different. I don’t have the hand of my father to hold. I don’t have anyone to blame. It’s on me. My heart is broken, but I’m going to go further than before. If I opened my heart to him, I can do it again for another.

  Over time, I will.

  “Naomi!”

  I stop. Dead in my tracks. He isn’t here. Not this time.

  “Naomi, please…just wait one second.”

  Turning, my face falls when I spot him going around the crowds, and his feet stop right in front of me.

  I die. Dead here in the airport with people scurrying around me.

  “What are you doing here?” The question comes out as high and squeaky as a mouse. I dreamed of him doing this. Last time, this time. But never thought he would.

  “I thought I had more time.” Xavier’s chest heaves with each breath.

  “More time?”

  With a roll of his shoulders, the tension seems to be leaving him. If only I could do the same. “More time. You’re leaving sooner than I thought.”

  I clutch the shoulder strap, the one thing around that seems to not have a heartbeat. “I have to get there and do the set-up. Practice and stuff. You know how it goes.”

  He would have known. I would have told him anything he wanted to know. All he had to do was ask—to care enough to. But he never did.

  “I should have thought about that.”

  Should have.

  Could have.

  But didn’t.

  “Okay.” I don’t know what else to say to him.

  “Don’t turn away. I just want to tell you that when you get back, we will settle all this together. Marriage, your career, maybe a baby.”

  I release a sigh, the grief I feel over the loss of what we were is enough to break me. “I’m not turning away. There isn’t anything to say. You turned your back on me. Not the other way around. Yes, I should have told you about this. I admit that, but you have to admit closing me off was your fault.”