by C. M. Owens
Swallowing hard, he clears his throat and starts rubbing the back of his neck.
“I’m gonna… go grab a drink. You want one?” he asks.
I simply shake my head, unable to form words, and he darts toward the house like he can’t get away fast enough. Allie is regarding me when I turn to face her, and her eyes almost look sad.
“I guess some things never change,” she sighs.
“What does that mean?” I croak, grimacing at how weak my voice suddenly sounds.
“Stop holding back, Bella. It’s a lot more fun to just let go.”
She gives me a soft smile before walking toward Wren, and I watch with teeming envy as he pulls her to him, grinning like she’s the most precious thing in the world. I wish I could just let go, but that’s too freaking dangerous to do when Ethan was twice as freaked out as I was by his slip of the tongue.
It’s not a big deal. We’ll recover, and we’ll be fine. I mean, so what if I maybe think I’m falling in love. Okay, so what if I’m already so in love that it’s suffocating me to hold it in? It doesn’t mean I have to ruin what we have by scaring him off with that confession, right?
Instead of letting my head roll around on my shoulders, weighted down by the constant stream of paralyzing fears, I head inside, carefully avoiding the kitchen where I know Ethan is.
My hand hits a door hinge, and I curse as pain shoots through my hand. Stupid distracted head. Shaking off the pain, I decide to hide for a second until my head isn’t swimming with useless thoughts.
When I walk into the bathroom, I shriek, because Brin is sitting down and pissing. “Sorry!”
“It’s not like you don’t have all the same parts,” she points out, sounding annoyed.
“Okay… What’s up?” I ask her as she stands and flushes.
“Nothing. Just family things. My parents actually tried to get Rye to come over and invest in my father’s company. Can you believe that? They disowned me for not taking on a career they approved of, but found out Rye is loaded, so now they want a family dinner? Unbelievable.”
I have no idea what that’s like, because my family wouldn’t give a damn if I married a prince. They’d only care if I suddenly became the daughter they’d always envisioned—turtlenecks and long skirts and all.
“If it makes you feel any better, my mother called me a worthless Jezebel before she told me to never come back.”
Her eyebrows go up.
“What’s a Jezebel?” Brin asks, seriously confused.
“Biblical reference. It’s my mother’s nice way of calling me a whore.”
I shrug, unaffected. It stopped bothering me a really long time ago.
Brin nods in understanding, but her eyes widen when she glances down at my hand.
“Holy shit! You’re bleeding!”
Cursing, I jerk my hand over the sink when I see all the red that has dripped from my hand to the pretty white tile on the floor.
“Do you need stitches? That’s a lot of blood!”
“No, it’s just a tiny cut,” I tell her, guessing it came from hitting the hinge of the door. Must have snagged a splinter or a screw or something, because the scratch is seriously miniscule.
“But… But… All the blood,” she says, staring at the small cut like it’s impossible.
“I bleed like stuck sow on a hot summer day from the tiniest of things… You should see me on my period,” I joke, even though it’s a bit gross…
The color suddenly drains from my face, and I start doing math in my head. No. No. No. When was the last time I had a period? I mean, it’s not like they’re frequent, thanks to my shot…
When was the last time I had my shot?
“Bella? Are you sure you’re okay? That’s a lot of blood and you look really pale.”
A sick feeling rolls around in the pit of my stomach, and I drop to the floor hard enough to send a shot of pain from my ass to my spine.
“Bella!” Brin shrieks, dropping down beside me and staring into my eyes. “Bella, please answer me.”
I try to, but no words form, because a wretched, gnawing sensation of ultimate dread is choking me, strangling me with a suffocating possibility I never thought I’d be faced with. In my head, I know I’m overreacting, but it’s like I can’t shake the sick feeling that I’ve really fucked up.
Allie is suddenly in front of me, cupping my face in her hands. Brin must have gotten her, even though I don’t remember her leaving the room. My head is a fog, but it’s all a blur. Her lips are moving, but I can’t hear the words she’s saying.
Suddenly, there’s a sharp pain stinging the side of my face, and all sounds and colors come back into focus as my jaw aches. Brin is dancing from one foot to another while shaking her hand like it hurts.
“Why the hell did you slap her?” Allie demands.
“Because that’s what they always do in the movies when someone is catatonic,” Brin whimpers, still clutching her hand like it hurts.
“Bella?” Allie says, returning her gaze to me. “Bella, what the hell?”
I grab her wrists as she continues to cup my face. “Allie, you have to do something for me.”
“Okay,” she says, worried.
“I need you to go to the store.”
Chapter 53
BELLA
Allie returns within ten minutes with a bag full of those dreaded tests. I don’t know why I needed her to buy so many, because I know I can’t possibly be preg—
I can’t even think the word, let alone say it.
I snatch a test out of the bag, and Brin sits down on the edge of the window seat—a bathroom with a window seat?—while I tear into the box.
Allie takes a seat beside her, and I shakily assume the position and pee on the stick while drinking a bottle of water. When I feel the stick is sufficiently saturated, I cut off my stream, ready to save it for later if necessary.
Then… we wait. While we’re waiting—because the suspense is killing me as much as the deafening silence in the bathroom—I decide to pee on a different kind of test. And then I pee on another. And another. And another. Until my bladder shrinks back in fear and I’ve taken five tests in total.
The first one is finished, and Allie, bless her, takes it like I didn’t just pee all over it, and reads the back of the box to instruct her.
I’d chew on my nails, but I haven’t washed my hands yet.
Allie’s eyes widen, and she looks at me with so much pity that I know what she’s going to say. But she’s wrong.
“Bella, it says you’re pr—”
“No,” I interrupt. Hell, I can’t even hear the word. “Read another one,” I tell her while chugging yet another bottle of water. Brin was gracious enough to bring several bottles in here without me even requesting it.
“Why the hell is everyone hiding in here?” Ruby’s voice has us all screaming like we’re all in a horror film, and her eyes widen as she jumps back, startled.
She clutches her chest like we scared her as much as she scared us.
“Holy shit. What the hell?” she asks. Bo walks in behind her with wide eyes.
“Why is everyone screaming?”
Just great. Now I have a bigger audience.
“Are those a bunch of pregnancy tests?” Bo asks, confused as she points to the mess of boxes on the countertop.
“Um… You guys in a pact or something?” Ruby adds while gesturing at Allie, Brin, and me.
Allie curses, and I groan.
“Just Bella,” Brin tells them, and Ruby and Bo look at me with the same pity Allie just did.
I don’t need pity, because there’s no way I’m baking a bun. My oven can’t be that hot.
“What does that one say?” I ask Allie, prompting her to stop being distracted.
She reads the back of the box, and her mouth tenses into a thin line.
No freaking way is that one wrong too. Did she buy a bunch of expired tests or something?
“Bella, it’s—”
“K
eep reading until you find one that works right,” I interrupt again, still unable to hear a faulty reading.
As I guzzle yet another bottle of water, prepared to piss on however many tests it takes to get an accurate reading, Allie starts reading the next two. Absently, I notice that my hand has stopped bleeding, and I start wiping up some of the smears of blood around the sink.
“Damn it, Bella. They’re all saying the same thing,” she states, sounding distraught.
She shouldn’t be. They’re all just defective.
“Keep reading,” I tell her calmly, pointing to the last one as I clean up the last of the blood.
“Same thing, Bella,” she says as I finally have enough water in my bladder to steamroll through some more tests.
She wisely refrains from saying that blasphemous word that I can’t bear to hear right now, and I get back to work, taking four tests until my bladder dries up again.
“You take one too. It’ll prove these are wrong,” I tell Allie, thrusting a fresh box at her.
“I’ll read the tests,” Ruby offers, walking over to take Allie’s position, while my best friend dutifully takes her spot on the toilet.
I know she loves me if she’s willing to piss on a stick in front of so many people, because Allie isn’t quite as shameless as I am. And she’s as red as a tomato while she does it.
“What do they say?” I ask Ruby, still unable to read any of them for myself.
“Um… They all say you’re pr—”
“Don’t use that word,” I tell her, cutting her off.
She blows out a breath before moving to the sink to wash her hands, and Allie puts her test on the countertop. When hers turns out to be the same, it’ll prove that this is just a bad batch of tests.
“You take one too,” I tell Brin, just to be thorough.
Her eyes widen, but Ruby snatches it away.
“I’ll do it. I’m anal about birth control. I’m sure these are all just wrong,” she says, sounding as though she’s placating me, but I’ll take it.
As Ruby pees on the stick, I wash my hands, ignoring the ever growing tremors that are trying to shake me up. “Not pregnant!” Allie says excitedly, as though she was worried her test would say otherwise. But then her excitement dies as she looks over at me.
“Damn, you must have gotten one that wasn’t defective,” I say on a groan. “I should have taken that one.”
Everyone exchanges a look, but I ignore them as Ruby washes her hands, glancing down as she waits on her test to catch up to ours.
Finally, she looks over at me with a sad, forced smile. “Not pregnant.”
They wait as though they expect an explosive reaction from me, but I roll my eyes. “Shit! You both got the only good tests in the lot. I’ll buy more later. They shouldn’t put that shit on the shelves if it’s so inaccurate,” I tell them, waving it off as I start tossing all the tests in the trash.
When I wash my hands, I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I look back at Allie just as she opens her mouth to speak.
“Don’t,” I caution, shaking my head emphatically. “They’re just wrong. I can’t be. I’m not. Don’t worry. I’ll get some more to prove it later.”
I walk out of the bathroom without another word, determined to find a place that doesn’t sell faulty tests as soon as we leave here. Obviously I’ll wait until Ethan isn’t with me. There’s no need to freak him out when there’s no way I’m possibly that “P” word.
Absolutely no way possible.
Chapter 54
ETHAN
Bella is quiet when we all sit down to eat, and I internally kick myself. Why the fucking hell did I say that shit?
But you still love me.
Groaning inwardly, I try to stop thinking about it. It was the stupidest thing in the world to say. I surprised both of us by saying it, but apparently she’s not shrugging it off as easily as I did.
She sat across the table from me instead of the empty seat I saved for her at my side. She keeps staring at her food, moving it around on her plate with a fork, but not really eating. The small meal we had before coming here is long gone by now. I’m starving, but I feel guilt for eating, since she doesn’t seem able to do the same.
“Mommy!” Angel’s shrill voice jolts me out of my thoughts as Ray and Melanie walk up with a full arsenal of children, including Tag’s new baby that is asleep in her car-seat.
Ash is up and meeting them halfway, taking her daughter, while Tag grabs their son up from the ground and tosses him in the air, catching the boy who laughs like it’s the greatest thing ever.
“How long has she been asleep?” Ash asks Melanie, while Ray comes to take a seat by me.
Carrie and Angel shoot up to the house, disappearing inside like little firecrackers.
Ray doesn’t even look tired after having everyone’s kids for most of the day. I’d be ready to throttle someone by now.
“A few hours,” Melanie says, beaming.
Ash’s jaw drops. “What? How?”
The baby sleeps right through the conversation, even though she does stretch a little.
“He’s the baby whisperer, apparently,” Melanie says with pride.
“A drop of whiskey on the pacifier,” Ray whispers to me. “Works every time.”
I choke on my food, and he barks out a laugh while shaking his head.
“Kidding,” he says, enjoying watching me strangle.
Jackass.
Raya goes to gush over the baby, and Kade watches her with a smile. But my gaze returns to Bella, who seems lost right now, not even realizing anything is going on around her.
When I glance over, Allie jerks her eyes away from me like she was just caught staring. The hell? Did she hear what happened?
Melanie joins us at the table, while Carrie and Angel run inside to Carrie’s room. I’m busy trying to figure out a way to broach what I said earlier with Bella, because I hate feeling like I’ve fucked this all up.
Tag’s baby girl gets passed around the table, everyone taking their turns holding her. Obviously I move the fuck out of that circle. That thing is way too small for my big hands. I might break her.
Bella finally watches me for the first time all night as I vehemently refuse to touch the tiny little baby, and Ray takes her in my place, kissing the top of her head.
“He’ll make a wonderful grandfather,” Melanie says, eyeing Raya and Kade.
“When he’s not teaching her to pick locks or open safes without a combination,” Kade says, smirking.
“Actually, learning that stuff is really fun,” Raya says with a shrug.
Ray ignores it all as he passes the baby back to Ash, who willingly hugs her close. Bella’s eyes avert my gaze when I finally decide to acknowledge the fact I know she’s staring.
I’ve apparently really fucked up. Maybe it was more about the fact I shot away from her like hell was on my heels after I said it. It just caught me off guard. I mean, it’s not like I was confessing anything, but it sure as hell felt like I was.
Confused and annoyed, I push my plate away and turn up my beer, guzzling it down.
“Mommy!” I hear Angel saying as she and Carrie come running down to where we are. “We’re playing doctor!”
Maverick starts laughing, and Rain elbows him in the ribs. “Asshole,” she mutters just loud enough for us to hear, before her smile blooms.
“Are you having fun?” Rain asks Carrie, who shyly glances around at us before whispering something in Rain’s ear.
She’s not as full of life and fearless as Angel, but she was adopted because of neglect from her birth family. I’m sure that plays a major part in the personality differences.
“What the hell have you got?” Dane asks Carrie as she continues whispering.
He pulls something out of her hand, and Carrie grins at him.
“A thu-mom-mmeter,” Carrie says quietly with some difficulty, unable to pronounce the word right.
Hell, it’s the first time I’ve heard her spe
ak.
“I have one too! We found a whole bunch of them in the bathroom trashcan,” Angel exclaims, holding hers up.
The color drains from Bella’s face, and Allie’s eyes widen. Dane makes some strangled sound low in his throat, as Rain bursts out laughing.
Me? I have no fucking clue what’s going on, so I continue to drink my beer, trying to race to the bottom so I can drink another one.
“Holy sh—” Wren’s words are cut short when his mother slaps the back of his head. He doesn’t even acknowledge it.
“These are freaking pregnancy tests!” Maverick says, laughing hysterically as he walks away, heaving for air.
“Damn it, Mav! Shut up,” Dane hisses.
“What’s a pregnancy test?” Angel asks immediately.
“Something you shouldn’t be touching,” Wren says with a grimace. “Go wash your hands. Now. Hurry. Both of you.”
Carrie and Angel run off to do just that, and silence falls on the table as everyone looks to Rain.
“Unless somehow my uterus magically regrew, you can all stop looking at me expectantly,” she states dryly.
Right. Right. Rain had to have a hysterectomy.
Kode looks at Tria, who immediately shakes her head as though she can’t say ‘no’ quickly enough. For some reason, Kode actually looks a little disappointed.
That’s when all eyes fall on Ash, who is shifting her baby into the other arm.
“Seriously? Someone’s pregnant and everyone assumes it’s me?” she asks incredulously.
This time, Tag sputters his drink, but everyone continues staring at Ash.
“No. I’m not pregnant. Two kids are plenty,” she says, sounding annoyed. “Besides, since our daughter won’t sleep, we haven’t done any baby-making skills since before I went into labor.”
Tag groans, Maverick laughs harder, and our gazes shift down the table to Tria again, since she’s Rain’s sister and it would make sense for her to have a pregnancy test in the trashcan.
“It’s really not me,” she states assertively. “I’m currently having that wonderful time of the month.”
