Perfectly Toxic (The Sterling Shore Series Book 9)

by C. M. Owens

  Chapter 57

  ETHAN

  Bella has avoided me for a solid week. Seven, long, miserable days.

  I still don’t even really know what I did. At least in the past when I screwed up, I was one-hundred percent positive where I went wrong. This time… Not a fucking clue.

  She harped on communication being the key to a healthy relationship, but she’s ignored the fuck out of me for a week. Unbelievable. She’s nothing but a hypocrite, and I’m tired of jumping through hoops for no damn reason.

  Part of her allure was the fact I had to chase her. Now, it’s grating on my nerves, because the chase is getting old. I wanted to finally catch her, but despite the fact she claimed she was looking for something real, she ran away the second things finally got real.

  Apparently I’m cursed or something. The two girls I’ve foreseen a real future with are the two girls who don’t give a flying fuck about me. I really thought Bella was different, but now I’m not so sure.

  People are all over the place in my house, but I feel as if I’m an island and no one can touch me. I’m also in one hell of a pissed off mood. Games. Fucking games. It’s my fault there were ever any games involved, because I wanted to play with Bella.

  Right now, the last thing I want is a houseful of strangers, but if Bella is so determined to ignore me, then I need to prove to her she’s one of a thousand women. My mistake was telling her what she meant to me. My mistake was playing house with her. My mistake was opening the door for her to walk right in and rip everything out when she gets a bug up her ass.

  Another strong sip of whiskey doesn’t really dull the ache in my chest, but it helps me chase the numbness. While physically I can still feel everything, I don’t want to feel anything inside. Alcohol works brilliantly for that.

  Star Morgan is back in my house, and she’s walking toward me with wary eyes. I’m not sure why she won’t just stay the fuck away from me. She keeps coming around, never really speaking, but makes sure I see her.

  “Hey,” she says, surprising me with the fact she finally has the balls to say something.

  “Why the hell are you here?” I ask her, since the question has been burning in me since she first showed up.

  Even though I’m too drunk to walk without staggering, I’ll never be drunk enough to touch her again. Besides, since Bella showed up, I haven’t wanted to touch anyone else. Which pisses me off all the more, since she apparently never got as close as I have.

  Trying not to crush the glass of whiskey in my hand, I focus my attention on glaring at Star, waiting on her to open her mouth and answer the damn question. Girls want to talk all the fucking time until you ask them a question. Then they want to shut the hell up and pretend you don’t exist.

  Okay, so maybe I’m projecting. A little.

  “I thought…” She pauses and blows out a reluctant breath. “Anyway, are you still seeing that girl?”

  That girl… She says it like Bella is no one special, as though she thinks she’s the only one who ever meant anything at all.

  “Honestly, I don’t think so, but don’t get any ideas. I’ll never fucking touch you again.”

  She winces like I’ve struck her, and I stand, leaning against the wall for balance. When I start to stumble, Star grabs my side and pulls my arm across her shoulders.

  “Don’t,” I growl.

  “I’m just helping you walk before you fall and break your face. It’s a nice face, and I don’t want to see it smashed.”

  I roll my eyes, but relent, leaning on her a little as she helps me toward my bedroom. My legs get sturdier with each step, and just as I’m about to take my arm off her, a familiar face is suddenly in front of me with hurt screaming at me from her eyes.

  I guess Bella has finally decided to stop ignoring me. Everything seems to revolve around her timetable. Fuck that.

  I could easily push Star away, drop to floor on my knees, and beg Bella not to think anything is going on. But why bother? Even when I don’t fuck things up, she can still goes days without speaking to me. Doesn’t matter that I hate going a day at all without speaking to her. Doesn’t matter that I’ve felt like a pussy-ass bitch for pining for her, because she’s been too busy avoiding me.

  Now she shows up and has the audacity to look hurt?

  She stands there like she’s waiting for an explanation as to why my arm is around Star’s shoulders. Or why we’re heading in the direction of the bedroom.

  I’ll probably regret it later, but I’m too drunk and pissed off to care right now.

  Instead of explaining, I reach down and pull Star closer, squeezing her ass for good measure. Hurt and anger flashes in Bella’s eyes as I wink at her.

  “What? Did you forget you’re not the only one I ever felt?” I ask. “Oh, that’s right. You thought you were special.”

  But I really do fucking regret that the second I say it, despite the cloud of alcohol numbing me. Because for the first time since I’ve known her, Bella’s eyes water, and two tears spring out before she can wipe them away.

  Guilt and anger hit me at once, but this time, I’m angry at myself instead of her.

  Star leans into me as Bella darts away, and I shove Star off me, not giving a damn if she gets hurt or not as I drunkenly stagger my way toward the door, once again chasing the girl who loves to run from me. When I reach the outside, I’m just in time to see her red Acura driving away, and I curse, stumbling my way down the sidewalk on my way to her house.

  A heaviness settles on my chest as the consequences of my actions take root and resonate. I’ve always been the guy to push people one step too far, but this time, I took it about thirty steps too far.

  I collapse about five yards from her house when I don’t see her car, and I drop to my back, too fucking drunk to stand back up. I have to find her before she does something just to get me back, because Bella is my equal, and I’ve just triggered a time bomb.

  I’d kill any guy who touched her, but she doesn’t know that. No, I stupidly thought of this awesome idea to piss her off so much that she’s bound to do something just as stupid. Just like the night she squeezed herself between two assholes that I wanted to punch on the dance floor.

  But that was then. That was before I fully fell for her. That was before I decided I’d never be done with Bella no matter how much of her I got.

  “What’s up?” Wren answers, and I dumbly remember I’ve dialed him.

  “I need a lift. And Bella,” I say, at least I think that’s what I say.

  “What? What’s a sifting hella?”

  Apparently that’s not what I said after all.

  “A lift. And Bella,” I state more plainly, trying to annunciate. I wish Bella hadn’t been able to understand me, but the alcohol is seriously kicking my ass after that short walk.

  “Where are you?” he asks as a car door dings. “And how fucking drunk are you?”

  “Not far from Bella’s, and really fucking drunk. Bring backup,” I tell him as my eyes shut and I fall back. Where’d my whiskey glass go? I had it in my hand earlier…

  Darkness takes over my vision, and despite my protests, my fight to stay awake ends in vain.

  Chapter 58

  BELLA

  “Ethan was passed out drunk not far from your house, and now he’s at my house. Wren is trying to wake him up, and you’re an absolute mess in here. What the hell?” Allie asks as I wipe furiously at the tears on my face.

  I stood up for him, told Allie he was an honorable guy, and he reminds me how I’m nothing special to him. Yeah, sure. I expected him to be upset after a week of no contact, which is why I went to talk to him in person. I needed to get my emotions in check before speaking to him, and that took longer than expected.

  I had no idea if I was going to tell him about the baby tonight, but I knew for sure I was going to tell him how I feel about him. I was going to apologize for the silent treatment, and I wasn’t going to make excuses. After all, he did the same thing to me, and I got pissed.


  Guess I deserved this. Then again, I always knew I was one of a thousand instead of one in a thousand. I guess there was some denial left after all, because I really thought I was special to Ethan Noles.

  I shouldn’t have called Allie and asked if I could crash at one of Wren’s condos. But I couldn’t stand the thought of Ethan finding me like this. What if he came to apologize for being a world class asshole and saw me bawling my eyes out over him?

  No. Hell no. I do have some pride left.

  I went to tell him I love him, and he tore my heart out through my throat. Lovely. A week of the silent treatment was apparently too much. He went from liking me to hating me in that short amount of time.

  At least I got my answer, even if it wasn’t the one I hoped for. No one who loves you would be able to grab another woman in front of you, and tell you that you meant nothing to them.

  Axe-murderers have a bigger heart than that. At least they kill you swiftly.

  Allie’s words register about him being passed out near my house. I’m not sure what that means, but it doesn’t mean what I want it to. It was obvious he and Star were heading toward the bedroom, and their arms were around each other.

  Silently, I waited for him to tell me it was a big misunderstanding… That it wasn’t what it looked like. I’d have believed him without question. There was no way I was going to simply read the situation wrong and get my panties in a wad over nothing.

  Then… Then he told me my worst nightmare was real, and all I can wonder is how long it took him to go to her. How little did I mean to him in order for him to move on so quickly?

  I haven’t even been able to stomach the thought of another guy touching me for too long. But Ethan goes to the one girl he once loved. The one girl he saw a future with.

  I was just the runner up who believed I was special long enough to get pregnant with his child.

  Fucking idiot. Idiot. Idiot! I hate myself so hard right now.

  “Bella? You in there?” Allie asks, tapping on the side of my head. “I’m not going away until you tell me what happened. Did you tell him you’re pregnant?”

  I shake my head immediately, and I swallow down the painful lump in my throat as the image of him grabbing Star’s ass while telling me how unimportant I was to him invades my mind.

  “No.”

  “Damn it, then what happened?” Allie persists, playing my role once again.

  “I saw the Ethan everyone else gets,” I say harshly, shedding tears of anger and… agony. Definitely agony. “I found out I wasn’t so special after all.”

  The weight on my chest grows heavier with every breath, and the lump doubles in size when I even think about speaking again. One word is all it would take for the dam to break, and I’d never stop crying.

  Instead of speaking, I look at her with trembling lips, and her look softens. She reads between the lines, knows I’m at my limits, and she wraps her arms around me, hugging me close as I cry on her shoulder.

  It all hurts too much, and it’s overwhelming. A baby with a man who is with another woman. How the hell can I tell him now? What would happen if I did?

  Life is so fucked up.

  Chapter 59

  ETHAN

  I wake up when I’m suddenly gasping water into my lungs, and I push off the bottom of whatever I’m in until air hits me and I gasp it in.

  Rye and Wren are glaring at me from the edge of the pool, and I cough out the water that got in my lungs.

  “You stupid fucks! What the hell?” I snap.

  Rye’s lips twitch as he comes toward the edge. “We figured you’d either wake up or drown. Don’t worry. We’d have fished you out if you didn’t wake up.”

  I flip him off, but then remember why I’m at Wren’s house… Oh shit.

  “Bella,” I groan, swimming toward the steps.

  “Yeah. Bella. About that,” Rye says as I start running up the short stack of steps, and grab a towel. My fucking clothes are soaked now, so I start stripping too.

  “I need clothes. Now,” I tell them.

  “Not until you tell us what the hell happened with Bella,” Wren states flatly. “Allie took off to meet her.”

  “Where?” I demand, when I’m down to my wet boxers.

  “Not until you tell me what happened,” he repeats, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Long story short, Star Morgan happened, and I did something really stupid.”

  Rye’s smile falls, and Wren looks ready to attack me.

  “Not that stupid,” I elaborate. “I wouldn’t sleep with Star if she was the last woman on earth. But I might have made Bella think I was or had. Now I seriously need to fix that, because I was drunk and stupid.”

  “You’re still drunk and stupid,” Rye points out.

  “Half drowning in the pool had a sobering effect. I need to find her. So now will you tell me where she is?”

  Wren curses while raking a hand through his hair.

  “I don’t know where she is. Allie just said she was with her. I needed to know what the hell you did before I tried to find her for you.”

  Manipulative bastard.

  “And?” I prompt.

  “And your shoulders will stretch my shirts,” Wren states without an ounce of sympathy. “So find one I don’t like since it’ll be ruined after you squeeze into it. I’ll loan you some sweat pants too.”

  Rolling my eyes, I follow him into the house, but freeze when I see Angel in the living room floor watching TV. She turns to face us as I drip water all over the floor. That’s the pool Wren put in at her request, and I just got tossed in it after getting drunk and shredding the aunt she loves so much.

  It’s like she knows, because she looks like she doesn’t want me here.

  “Where’s Aunt Bella?” she asks me, cocking her head to the side.

  “With your mom,” I tell her.

  She glares at me and turns around, brushing the hair of her doll as though I’m not worth a second glance. “Mommy said you’re an asshole, and she told Aunt Bella she was coming to her.”

  Wren chokes on air, and Rye walks out when his entire body shakes with silent laughter. He waits until he’s outside to unleash the riot going on inside him. Dick.

  “When did Mommy say that?” Wren asks her, glaring over at me as I stare at his kid with a stupefied expression.

  “When she was on the phone with Aunt Bella tonight. She thought I was in my room, but I was under your bed.”

  Wren groans, but I see an opportunity. It’s highly unlikely that Allie will tell Wren where Bella is if she’s calling me an asshole, but it’s possible Angel overheard where they are.

  “Where did she say they were?” I ask her, too far past the point of desperation to feel any guilt for pumping a child for info right now.

  Angel smirks, because she’s a smart, somewhat wicked kid. “I’m not telling. It’s a secret.”

  Wren covers his smile, and I rein in a litany of curses.

  “What would it take to get you to change your mind?” I ask, prepared to buy absolutely anything.

  “Are you seriously trying to bribe my kid right now?” Wren asks. “While in soaking wet boxers?”

  “Are you seriously saying you wouldn’t be doing the same thing right now? And the boxers cover more than speedos any day of the week.”

  He rolls his eyes as Angel stands up.

  “I want a little sister. Make sure mommy has one instead of a boy.”

  Ah fuck.

  Wren starts laughing, walking away and leaving me alone with a promise I can’t make.

  “What if I told you I’d give you fifty-fifty odds on that?”

  She arches an eyebrow at me. “One hundred percent.”

  Damn it.

  “Sure,” I lie, checking to make sure Wren can’t hear me. “One hundred percent.”

  Her face lights up with a broad smile.

  “They’re at a condo,” she tells me.

  A condo? “Which condo?”


  She shrugs. “A condo. Make sure it’s a baby sister. Not a baby brother.”

  With that, she walks off, and I groan at the ceiling. I guess I’m about to look into all of my friends’ condos, starting with Wren’s.

  It sucks to have too many rich fucking friends right now.

  Chapter 60

  BELLA

  I’m half asleep the next morning when I call into work. On the bright side, I sound sick, so they buy the story. Six to eight weeks pregnant… Yeah. I went to the doctor, and they essentially estimated the same thing Berta did.

  And it’s been over seven months since my last birth control shot. I called my old doctor to find that out, and then cursed them for all they were worth for not sending me a courtesy reminder card.

  That shot is supposed to be every three months. I was unprotected the entire time I’ve been with Ethan. I could have gotten pregnant the very first time for all I know. I still don’t have a clue how I could ever forget the most important part of sex—protection.

  Allie is asleep next to me, and I shove at her shoulder. The last thing she needs to do is be stuck here with me when she has a daughter and fiancé waiting at home for her.

  She mumbles something to the effect of kicking my ass, but I shove at her again.

  “You need to go home.”

  “Five more minutes,” she grumbles, causing me to smile against all odds.

  I miss my best friend, but she has a new life, and she should be there right now instead of dealing with my mess. Currently, my mess is quicksand, and I’m sinking deeper into it by the minute.

  “Allie, seriously, Wren is probably worried about you.”

  “I told him I was staying the night with you,” she answers, still keeping her eyes closed.

  Now I feel like an ass for dragging her into this. Her life is sunny and bright now. The last thing she needs is me pulling her out of it for any reason.

  I’m supposed to be the one who holds her together, not the other way around. Even if I have to fake it, I’m going to be just fucking fine when she wakes up. Because she’s going home to the life she’s always deserved, and I’ll endure this chaos I call a life now.