Face Value (Next Generation 7)
Page 18
“Yeah, she thought the place looked great. She was off to hand the keys off to her agent when she left.”
“Good.”
“Lauren said she still hasn’t received your invoice.” Will tipped his head to the side as he studied his friend. “What’s that all about? Rosie’s usually on top of that stuff.”
Tucker had told Rosie not to issue the invoice. He’d paid for the supplies and his crew out of pocket. The profit margins on that house were tight, and he wanted Lauren to walk away with something to show for her hard work. “I’ll look into it.” Will was his employee, not his business partner. He didn’t owe him an explanation.
“Mason was great at the game on Saturday,” Will said, grinning.
“Thanks for taking him.” Tucker had had to settle the bill for his mother’s funeral that day. His dead-beat stepfather didn’t have the means to pay for it. In the end, Tucker had gone to the funeral with his kids so he wouldn’t say or do anything he might regret.
When he told them about his mother’s passing, the kids practically begged to go. Since he knew it would be closed casket, with framed photographs marking various stages in her life, Tucker decided it wouldn’t be too traumatic for them.
“It was my pleasure. We went out for pizza afterward and had a great time.” Will laced his hands over his stomach. “He mentioned Lauren.”
Damn it. His kids just wouldn’t let her go. They seemed determined to see Tucker and Lauren together. They’d even called her. He knew he would have to discourage their behavior, but he didn’t know how. They had every right to like her and be friends with her, but he didn’t want them holding out hope she would one day be their stepmother. That would never happen.
“What did he say?”
“He said you were miserable without her. The kid’s right, Tucker. You’re a mess.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know I don’t bullshit you. I’ve never seen you like this, not when your marriage was falling apart, not even when you were facing jail time. It’s like you’ve given up on life. What the hell happened with this chick?”
Tucker growled at his friend’s reference. “She’s a woman, not a chick, and it’s none of your goddamned business what happened.”
“Look, I’m just trying to help.” Will held his hands up.
The buzzer above the outer door chimed, indicating they had a visitor. “Whoever that is, get rid of them. I’m not in the mood to see anyone.”
Will stood up and poked his head out the door. “Uh, you may change your mind when you find out who it is, boss.”
“Not likely,” he muttered. “Just get rid of them.”
“Hi, Tucker.”
Her voice obliterated the barrier keeping his feelings in check. Everything he’d struggled with for the past few weeks rose to the surface in an agonizing rush. He turned his chair, giving her his back. “You need to go.” Please, just go.
“Not until I’ve said what I came here to say.”
Tucker turned around in time to see Lauren look over her shoulder and treat Will to a blinding smile.
Will had a stupid grin on his face, and Tucker knew his best friend wasn’t immune to his woman’s beauty. His woman. Damn it, she still felt like his. “Get out, Will.”
“Sure thing.” Will tipped his baseball cap at Lauren. “Now that this project is over, maybe we can grab dinner sometime?”
Tucker knew his friend was just messing with him. Will would never cross that line. They had been through too much together. “You have ten seconds to get out of here before I kick your ass.”
Will chuckled. “I’m going, I’m going. Y’all have a good night.”
Lauren smiled as Will closed the door. “He’s such a sweet guy. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since we started working on this project-”
“Just tell me why you’re here.” Tucker knew he sounded brusque, but he couldn’t help it. If he revealed how he really felt, he’d drop to his knees and beg her for another chance.
She stepped further into the office as she twisted her purse strap around her fingers. “I’ve talked to your kids a few times.”
“I know. I’m sorry they keep bothering you. I’ll talk to them about it.” He nodded to the mini-fridge in the corner. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thank you.” She shifted from one foot to the other, looking uneasy. “I really like your kids, Tucker. I hope you won’t ask them to stop calling me.”
“I don’t think it’s healthy for them to hold out hope, do you?” He would never do anything to intentionally hurt his kids, and if it meant a little tough love to make them realize they wouldn’t get the happily ever after they’d hoped for, he would accept his role as the bad guy.
She stepped up, positioning herself directly in front of him, her backside resting on the desk. “I don’t think it’s healthy to give up hope. Without that, what do you have left?”
What the hell was that supposed to mean? Tucker tried to back up, but he had nowhere to go. The wheels of his chair were already hitting the legs of the credenza behind him. “I think you should go now.”
She edged her bottom back on the desk and set her high-heeled boots on either side of his thighs. “That’s not what you really want.” She slid her tongue over her lip slowly as her eyes wandered over him. “I think you still want me.”
He would die wanting her, but that didn’t mean he could have her. “What’s your point?”
She flicked a button on the front of her shirt, and his mouth went dry.
Another button. Oh, God, give me strength. “Lauren, what’re you doing?”
“I’m forcing you to admit the truth. You still want me as much as I want you.” Her fingers flicked over one button after another until her shirt fell open, revealing a black and red lace bra.
“Don’t do this.” He was just trying to do what was best for her. Why couldn’t she see that?
“I want you,” she whispered, leaning forward. “I need you.” Her voice was lower, huskier. “I love you, Tucker. So much. Not being with you is killing me.”
He closed his eyes. The sight of her beautiful face was wreaking havoc on him. He knew why they couldn’t be together, but her pain made it ten times more difficult to pretend walking away wasn’t the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. “I’m the wrong guy for you, Lauren.” But he would turn himself inside out to be the right man.
“Says who?”
“Me.” He looked at her and instantly wished he hadn’t. Few things had the power to break him, but the sight of the woman he loved with tears in her eyes, tears he’d caused, topped the list.
“Do you want to be with me?” she asked. When he didn’t respond, she climbed into his lap. “Just answer me, please.”
If she’d kept her distance, he may have been able to keep pretending, but with her in his arms, he didn’t stand a chance. He held her, pouring all of the anguish of the last few weeks into one embrace. He didn’t know how he would let her go again. He wanted to be strong enough to set her free, but she was making him realize how weak he was where she was concerned.
Lauren tipped his chin, forcing him to look at her. “If you tell me you don’t want me, I’ll walk out of here and you’ll never have to see me again. I promise.”
He had some idea what that meant, he’d been living it, and it felt like an insidious disease sucking the life out of him. “You know I do.” His voice was so hoarse he could barely get the words out.
“What does our perfect life together look like, Tucker?”
She ran her hand over the stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave since two days ago. Just taking a shower every day seemed like a monumental task. “I can’t give you that. That’s why this is so hard for me, baby.” He buried his face in the crook of her neck, wishing he could lose himself in her again. But that wouldn’t solve their problems. Nothing would.
“Let’s pretend you could. What would our life together be like?”
He’d tortu
red himself with fantasies for weeks, so it didn’t take him long to respond. “You’d be there every night when I come home from work.” It was that image that made his house so unbearable. “We’d have dinner together, talk about our day.” Because of that little fantasy, he hadn’t turned on the oven or the grill in weeks. Not even when the kids were there. They’d been surviving on restaurant food and take-out pizza. Poor kids. No wonder they were trying to help him put his life back together. It was a disaster.
She lifted his left hand, holding it against her cheek. “In this fantasy… are you wearing my ring?”
“God, Lauren. Being your husband would make me so damn proud…” He’d imagined standing at the altar, watching her descend the long red carpet on her daddy’s arm. Those images flashed through his mind when he pleaded for a few hours of sleep every night.
“You said you’d never marry again.” She looked down to where his index finger traced the sensitive flesh spilling out of her bra.
“That’s because I never thought I’d meet anyone like you.” He knew he may never get another opportunity to say what was in his heart, and she deserved to know. No matter how much it might hurt him to voice the truth. “I can never regret the time I spent with Amanda because she gave me two of the best things that have ever happened to me. My kids are the reason I still get out of bed in the morning. They’re the reason I don’t drink. They’re the reason I bust my ass to make this business a success. I want them to have something I didn’t: an old man they can be proud of.”
“They are proud of you, Tucker. You don’t hear the way they talk about you. You’re their hero.”
Knowing he had earned his kids’ love and respect was more valuable than a big bank account, fancy car, or sprawling house. It was everything. “They’ve made me the man I always wanted to be. It’s as simple as that.”
“They’ve made you the man I love.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “The man I want to spend my life with… raise a family with… live, laugh, cry, and die with.”
Those words sliced through him because he so desperately wanted to hear them, but he still couldn’t make all of her dreams come true. “You’re gonna be an amazing mother someday, angel. I know you will, but-”
She silenced him with a kiss. “Do you want to be there to witness that?”
Tucker wasn’t sure he could breathe. If that was her idea of cruel and unusual punishment, it was working. Nothing could hurt as much as imagining her sharing that gift with another man because he couldn’t give her the baby he knew she wanted.
“Do you?” she whispered.
“Why are you doing this?” If dying from emotional wounds was possible, his lifeless body would be lying on the floor.
“Because I need to know you’re willing to take a chance on me, Tucker. I need to know you’re willing to fight for us.” She held his face between her hands, narrowing her big blue eyes on him. “You let me go once without a fight. I need to know you’ll never do that again. I need to know I can trust you with my heart.”
He didn’t know how to respond. He’d let her go because he loved her and he wanted her to have an amazing life, not because he didn’t want to be a part of that life. “I would do anything for you. I don’t care how much it costs me. The only thing that matters to me is your happiness.”
“If that’s true, you’ll agree to give me what I really want.”
“What’s that?”
“You. I want you. I want to have a family with you, Tucker. I don’t care how we make that happen, but I see how great you are with your own kids, and I want you to be the father of our kids too. We can adopt, you can have the procedure reversed, and we can look into other options…”
Tucker was too stunned to speak. She would risk her future on a guy like him? Someone who’d made more mistakes than he could count, who’d been plagued with an inner rage his whole life, who came from a dysfunctional family and couldn’t even trust himself to have a drink with the boys on Friday night after work? She deserved so much better, but did he have the courage to help her see that or would he just thank god she’d chosen him? He didn’t know what to do.
“Please say something.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You could start by telling me you love me.”
He cupped her cheek as he stared at her, trying to make sense of his feelings. “Baby, you made my heart whole again. I haven’t felt that way since my sister died.” He caught the tear sliding down her cheek with the pad of this thumb. “But you left and…” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I didn’t think I could feel pain like that. I didn’t even think I was capable of it. When I heard my front door close and I knew you weren’t coming back, it felt like someone landed a machete between my shoulder blades and left me there to bleed out.”
Her bottom lip trembled as she wrapped her hand around his wrist. “Tucker, I thought I knew what kind of man my husband would be. I was right, but I was so wrong.” She smiled. “I wanted someone who would love me unconditionally, support me in everything I do, be my best friend and my lover, the father of my children, the strong arms I step into when it feels like my world is falling apart…”
Tucker settled her head on his chest and held her tight. One thing was certain: He would die before he let her walk out of his life again. “I’ll always be there for you, angel.”
“I know you will.” She giggled as she ran her hands over the buttons on his shirt. “I thought I wanted Armani suits. Instead I got denim shirts and steel-toed boots. Fancy foreign cars impressed me until I saw your dirty old pick-up truck.”
“Hey, I just got that truck a few months ago,” he said, smacking her behind. “I’ll have you know that’s a real man’s truck with all the bells and whistles.”
Her eyes shined when she tipped her head back to look at him. “Can we go home now?”
“I’d love that, baby.”
Chapter Seventeen
Amanda had agreed to let her son have his birthday party at his dad and Lauren’s house when Aiden Cooper and some of his teammates promised to stop by to sign autographs and take pictures with the rowdy group of boys.
“I’ve never seen Tucker like this.” Amanda eyed her ex-husband over her wine glass. “He’s like a different person.”
Lauren had noticed changes in Tucker too. He wasn’t the same man who’d turned her world upside down. He was even better. When they found their way back to each other, he’d told her he wanted to let go of the past so he could focus on the future with her, and he’d been true to his word.
The life they were building together exceeded her expectations. They’d just partnered on a small residential apartment building and planned to kick off the project next week. She couldn’t wait to merge their personal and professional lives. He was already her partner in every sense of the word. That would just make it more official.
“So, any talk of a wedding date?”
“Not yet.” Lauren smiled when she caught sight of Monica giggling with a girlfriend across the room. “We have plenty of time for that. I’d like to concentrate on helping my cousin plan her wedding first. Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two before my time comes.”
“Tucker doesn’t want to wait.”
Lauren’s grip on her glass tightened. “How do you know that?”
“He told me.” Amanda smiled. “He said he can’t wait to make you his wife. He loves that y’all are living together, but Tucker’s a pretty traditional guy. He wants the world to know you’re his. Big church wedding, the rock, and of course he’ll want you to take his last name.”
Lauren McCall Brooks did have a nice ring to it. But Tucker should talk to her about his plans, not his ex-wife. “I’m glad you and Tucker have become friends, Amanda,” Lauren said, hoping Amanda wouldn’t question the shift in conversation.
“So am I. I hated all that tension between us.” She sighed. “He didn’t do anything wrong… except fall out of love with me.”
Lauren felt her chest
tighten. The question had plagued her for a long time, but she’d never had the nerve to ask. “Do you still love him?”
“A part of me always will.” Amanda brought the glass to her lips, taking a sip before she cleared her throat. “He was my first love, the father of my children, not to mention the best guy I’ve ever known.”
Lauren tried to quash her jealousy. Tucker was hers. Amanda was a part of his past. So what if she was and would always be the mother of his children? If they would always have that unbreakable bond…
She felt Tucker come up behind her and slip his arms around her waist.
“Hey, what’s that scowl all about?” he whispered in her ear.
“Nothing,” she muttered, hoping Amanda couldn’t overhear.
“If you’ll excuse me,” Amanda said, “I’m going to take a few more pictures of the boys before I run out and pick up the cake.”
Tucker waited for her to walk away before he turned Lauren into his arms. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“Aside from the fact your ex-wife just informed me she would always love you?”
Tucker threw his head back and laughed. “That’s what’s got you all bent out of shape? Baby, I’m all yours, you know that. No other woman alive could turn my head.”
That made Lauren feel marginally better, but she still wanted to address the other matter bothering her. “Why are you talking to her about our relationship?”
He frowned. “What’re you talking about? What did I say?”
“You said you were anxious to get married.”
“I am, that’s no secret.”
“I thought we agreed we’d wait until Justin and Anna had their day.”
“I agreed to do whatever makes you happy. Always.” He turned his back to the crowd, shielding her with his body as he kissed her slowly and thoroughly. “I’m not gonna lie, I can’t wait to make you Mrs. Lauren Brooks, but if you want a little more time, I’m cool with that.”