Called Up

by Jen Doyle

  “Jane Doe,” Sam said, a smile on his face as he sat down across from her. “That was all Doug gave me. Now I see why.”

  Okay then. Go, Doug.

  Sam leaned forward. “Does Nate know you’re meeting with me?”

  Fitz shook her head. “I thought it would be better for us to talk first.”

  And talk they did. Sam grilled her for forty-five minutes, in fact, asking about everything from investment strategies to office management. “I have to be honest,” he said as their meeting came to a close, “I took this interview as a favor to Doug.”

  “Also because you were thoroughly intrigued,” Hannah piped up from where she was sitting at a desk across the room. “And because the portfolio blew you away.”

  “Yes, also because,” Sam conceded with a smile. “I was looking for someone with a little more experience, but there was something about your portfolio that kept pulling me back.” He cocked his head. “You think you’re ready for the big leagues?”

  To be perfectly honest? Fitz had no freaking idea. But there wasn’t any question he’d thrown at her that she hadn’t been able to handle. And if she’d learned anything from having Nate Hawkins as her big brother, it was that confidence went a very long way. “One hundred percent.”

  It made Sam laugh. “That’s the same answer Nate gave me when I asked him if he thought he was good enough to build a baseball team around.”

  Well. Fitz had to smile at that. “I guess you have your answer, then.”

  Sam sat back, eyes narrow, even as a smile came over his face. “I guess I do.” He stayed like that for a minute, his gaze never leaving hers. Which was pretty damn uncomfortable, but Fitz had been around Nate long enough to know the mind games these guys played, so she knew not to show it.

  And it appeared she passed the test. As he stood, Sam said, “I have a group of investors, Nate included, that will be part of the formal interview process. Will that be a problem for you?”

  “Absolutely not,” Fitz said, standing up as well. Nate would find out sooner or later and if it was because she’d gotten as far as interviewing with the board, then she was okay with that. And other than the oddity of being interviewed by her brother, Fitz had no qualms sitting at a table with big-name players surrounding it. In fact, she loved the idea. “I’d be honored to have the opportunity to show them what I can do.”

  With a nod to Hannah, Sam said, “Let’s set that up then. It won’t be for another month or so as we’ve just begun to gather names. But you will definitely be on the list.”

  “Great.” She tried to keep her smile subdued as she shook hands with him and gave Hannah a hug goodbye.

  She waited until the elevator came to do a celebratory dance. It was tempered only when it occurred to her Deke wouldn’t be happy about this at all. She didn’t for one second think he’d been serious about her having his babies, but, no, he wouldn’t be happy.

  This hadn’t even been an official interview, however. Yes, it had gone well, but who knew how these things worked? Sam might already be having second thoughts. So she’d deal with it later. Compartmentalizing, not avoidance. At least that’s what she told herself.

  Along those lines, however, she did have to admit this whole thing with Deke had gotten her thinking. And when she got up to her suite and saw Nate and Dorie stretched out together on one of the lounge chairs out on their balcony, she found herself wondering what it would be like to love someone enough to take the risk they might one day leave. To believe strongly enough in the fact that they loved you back.

  Nate looked up right then and raised his hand in greeting, shifting in a way that made it clear Dorie was asleep and he was trying not to wake her as he reached down on the ground for something.

  A bottle of water, it appeared, as Fitz went through the door that connected their suites and joined them. Water he almost spilled all over himself when he looked up at her and registered the suit she was wearing, before muttering, “No fucking way,” as he looked back out over the cityscape below.

  Well, okay then. Sooner it was. She supposed she hadn’t fully expected to get it by him, especially not after finding out he’d had brunch with Sam. She was just glad she hadn’t needed to have a whole long conversation about it before she went.

  “Way,” she murmured, sitting down in the lounge chair next to him.

  He shook his head. “You know I’d practically be your boss.”

  “You’re practically my boss now,” she reminded him.

  He took a sip of water. “That’s different.”

  “How so? Because you’d be the only one of my bosses who knows I’ll run stark naked down the hallway if I see a spider while I’m taking a shower as opposed to five out of five?”

  Because she had done that once. March Madness, a few years back. Even Cal had witnessed that one. The worst part? All five guys had looked up at her streaking down the hall and then, as one, turned back to the TV. She’d had to actually grab Jason by the ear—he was the closest—in order to get one of them to help her out.

  Nate stared at her for a minute then looked away again. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted a change? We could figure something else out.”

  Fighting the urge to glare at him, she reminded herself that he was her brother. He loved her. It was in his nature to want to take care of her—which was part of the problem. Maybe she wanted for once in her life do something all on her own. Maybe she needed to know she could rely on herself for when the time came. But instead of actually coming out and saying so, she chickened out. “Because I wasn’t sure I did. I’m still not sure I do. But I’d like to see where it goes.”

  Nate wasn’t happy about it. That was obvious from the way he set his jaw. But he did say, “I can’t think of anyone who would do a better job than you would.” Then he quietly added, “Sam would be lucky to have you.”

  Fitz fought off the tears that came to her eyes. “Thanks.” It was one thing to think about having a new job, another entirely to consider what it would realistically mean to say good-bye to everyone. She’d never had to do that before. Her parents didn’t count because she’d never had the chance to say it. And she talked to them every week. But whatever. She’d be fine.

  Changing the subject, Fitz nodded down at Dorie. “You must have tired her out,” she said, wishing she could take it back immediately when Nate raised his eyebrows. “With the dancing, I mean. She was totally into the dancing.”

  With a soft laugh, Nate said, “That she was.” Then, a little harder, he said, “You, too.”

  “Mmm.” Fitz decided that was agreement enough. Especially because she wasn’t sure if she was pissed at him, since he’d no doubt sicced Deke on her, or grateful, due to what had happened after that. Not that she’d be mentioning any details to Nate, of course. “More parties tonight?”

  “Probably.” He reached down for the water. “If that’s what you guys want to do.”

  It wasn’t. Not if she couldn’t dance with Deke, at least. “Maybe we could just do some sightseeing. I bet the view from that park above the bridge is awesome at night.” Then again, she was just happy to be somewhere other than Inspiration, so she’d be okay with anything. She shrugged. “Whatever is good.”

  Nate barely even seemed to be listening. She was pushing herself out of her chair when he said, “Did you sleep with him?”

  She jerked her head up so fast she actually hurt her neck. “Sam?” Did he seriously just ask her that?

  “No, for fuck’s sake,” Nate snapped with the appropriate amount of denial. “With Deke.”

  Oh.

  Fitz felt her cheeks flush and she quickly looked away as Nate swore under his breath. But after taking a deep breath, she turned to meet Nate’s gaze head on. “That’s your business how?”

  Eyes narrowing, because he of course had his answer right there
, Nate just looked at her for a minute, not backing off at all. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  Breaking the stare, Fitz fell back into the chair and looked out over the city again. She didn’t want to see her get hurt, either. Which was why she’d had sex with Deke, not pledged her life to him. Two very different things.

  Since that conversation would have gone over as well as it had with Deke, although for entirely different reasons, Fitz found herself instead asking something she’d never expected to say to Nate. “Do you ever think about Dad?”

  Dorie sighed in her sleep and there was the sound of traffic from far below, yet the silence from Nate was overwhelming.

  “Do you ever worry that maybe it’s in our blood?” Fitz asked, pushing it. “That maybe even trying to be happy is just an all-around really bad idea?”

  Maybe not the best thing to ask a man who’d made a majorly public declaration of love to the woman he’d be marrying in a few months. Whatever, though. He was her big brother and he’d obviously figured a way to come to terms with it. She truly wanted to know how.

  To her surprise, he laughed. Then he gave a maddening, completely useless answer. “Nope.”

  When nothing else came, she turned back to him. “That’s it?”

  He glanced at her and then away, taking another drink of water before putting the bottle back down. “After I left for spring training—” meaning, of course, after he and Dorie had had an epic break-up “—I wasn’t thinking much about the future. I could barely even get through each day.”

  His arms must have tightened around Dorie because she stirred. The look he gave Dorie while she settled again was full of such tenderness that Fitz’s own heart ached. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a bad idea or not,” he said. “She’s everything. It’s not a choice. It just is.”

  Having never expected words like that to come out of his mouth, Fitz stared at him. He arched an eyebrow in a “what?” kind of way.

  Fitz just barely held back a snort. “That was completely unhelpful.” Not relevant in any way whatsoever. Honestly. Talking to Deke was, if often maddening, at least productive. Nate gave a vaguely amused shrug, and she glared at her brother before going inside to change.

  Nate had heard her about the sightseeing, though, and the next few days were packed with baseball games and tourist traps: cable cars and Fisherman’s Wharf, even a nighttime tour of Alcatraz. She got to put her feet in the ocean—her first time—and then her whole body, thanks to Nate and Wash tossing her and Dorie both in. Deke, oddly, wanted nothing to do with that part. It didn’t matter, though. Fitz didn’t think she’d ever had so much fun.

  The last morning they were there, she and Dorie went out for a run, coming back to find the suite unexpectedly full of current and former baseball players, in addition to Deke and Wash and a few more of Nate’s friends. Everything between her and Deke was perfectly normal. A better bounceback than their first time together, to her great relief. Things were so normal, in fact, Nate had even stopped giving Deke the evil eye. Hell, to anyone else looking, it would seem as though nothing had ever happened between them. He barely even glanced her way when she came into the suite.

  Fine. Whatever. Although it was probably a good thing, since the jeans and T-shirt he was wearing, though perfectly run of the mill, highlighted every single asset he had. Deliberately ignoring the rush she got from seeing him, Fitz went over to Wash instead.

  “When did it become a party?” she asked, looking around as Wash put together a plate of fruit from the platters on the buffet.

  It was mostly guys who had started out around the same time Nate did, but there were some younger players thrown in. Of the older guys, only a few were still playing. Among the rest of them were three who had gone on to become commentators, two assistant coaches, and one who was rumored to be a hot GM prospect for several teams currently on the lookout. Deke, of course, having spent more than his share of time partying with them all during Nate’s first few seasons, fit right in.

  Wash shrugged. “You know Nate. Now that he isn’t attached to the ice queen anymore, he’s back to his old ways.”

  The ice queen, of course, being his former fiancée, Courtney, who had carefully steered Nate into a much more solitary, head-above-the-rest type of existence. In direct response, Fitz was thinking, to the “old ways” to which Wash had just referred, and it had nothing to do with the partying. Even back in high school, Nate had been that guy who brought everyone together. Who was, yes, heads above the rest in terms of talent, but who was humble about it to a fault, and who excelled at building a team around him. The Dream was a case in point. He didn’t even need to work at it—people just naturally gathered around him. When he did retire, something he’d begun to talk about even though it had scared the bejesus out of him until recently, Fitz was pretty sure he was going to do something big. Like maybe achieve world peace.

  “Hey, Fitz.”

  Fitz looked up to see Nate gesturing for her to join him, Deke and a few of the other guys, one of whom was Johnny Whitfield, a former player in town to cover the game for one of the big networks. Plus Sam, who gave her a smile and a nod but didn’t in any way acknowledge more than that, which was completely fine with Fitz.

  “Johnny’s thinking about coming out to Inspiration next month,” Nate said when Fitz joined them. “Maybe doing a feature on the foundation.”

  She put on her professional smile. “That sounds great. I’d love to help set that up.”

  “Awesome,” Johnny said. “You can show me the town during the day...” He clapped Deke on the shoulder. “And Deke, my buddy, can show me the town at night.” Then he turned to the other players, laughingly saying to the newer guy, “You wouldn’t believe the way the girls used to come out to see Deke. I mean, there we all were with big league contracts, and yet he’s the one they wanted.”

  Deke’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “That was only because I didn’t have a curfew like you guys all did.”

  “Whatever,” the other veteran player said. In a high-pitched voice clearly meant to imitate one of the so-called “girls,” he added, “‘Do you know Max Deacon, baby? I hear there’s this thing he does with his—’”

  “Or vice versa,” Fitz snapped in order to shut them up. Honestly. She’d been around ball players long enough to know they had no problem sharing some pretty intimate details. But she did not want to know what some woman said once upon a time about Deke. When they all turned to her in surprise, she said, “How about Deke’s the one to show you around during the day and I’ll take you out on the town? I mean, we’re all about the equal opportunity, right?”

  Ignoring Nate and Deke’s murderous expressions, Johnny’s eyes lit up. “Really,” he said.

  It was Sam’s chuckle, however, that made her glare before she turned back to Johnny with a smile. “Whatever works.”

  “Or maybe we could team up and do both,” Deke ground out, his eyes hard as he went territorial.

  Returning her gaze to Johnny, she also ignored both Deke and Nate. “I’ll get your contact info from Alexis.”

  “You got it,” he said, the smile on his face growing bigger as Deke grabbed her elbow and, muttered, “Excuse us, guys,” as he pulled her away. All the way into the dining alcove, in fact, which was mostly shielded from everyone else.

  The second they were out of hearing range, he snapped, “What the hell was that?”

  “What?” she said, glaring right back. “Maybe I want to go dancing again without some caveman carrying me away before I’m done.”

  “I didn’t carry you,” he said. “I was just removing you from a situation that was not ideal.” He went offense rather than defense, backing her up into the sideboard, his hands and arms going to each side of her as he caged her in. “It was either that or killing the next guy who touched you. Jesus, Fitz. Even just a little mercy
would have been appreciated.”

  “Mercy?” She tipped her head back to look up at him. When she saw there was actual pain in his eyes, her voice went soft. “I wanted to be dancing with you.”

  That clearly surprised him, although she wasn’t sure if it was because she’d thought it or admitted it. Then his eyes went down to her lips and for a second she was sure he was going to kiss her, which would have been a seriously bad idea, especially with Nate being on the other side of that wall and the last thing she wanted was a scene of any kind.

  As if he’d suddenly remembered where they were, he abruptly pulled his arms away and stepped back. Running his hands through his hair until they met at the back of his head and he clasped them together, he let out a frustrated, “Fuck.”

  Yep. And yet, for as much as she knew it was a bad idea, her body was letting her know in all sorts of fluttery ways it didn’t give a damn. It took everything she had to keep from plastering herself against him. Her turn to lean back. Looking down at the floor, she said, “Why does this have to be so complicated?”

  Deke didn’t answer right away and, to be honest, Fitz deliberately didn’t look up at him. Not until she sensed him right in front of her again. But it took him touching his fingers to her chin and tilting her head up for her to be able to look him in the eye.

  “I like touching you,” he said, his eyes dark. His hands went to her arms and his mouth to her neck and she forgot about Nate entirely. “I sure as hell got the sense that you like touching me.” He grinned as she felt her cheeks go hot. Because, well, yes, that was absolutely true. “Maybe it doesn’t need to get more complicated than that.”

  Letting her head fall back, it was hard to ignore the shivers running through her at the feel of his skin against hers. She knew she should make him stop, but all she felt was loss when he took a step back, his eyes going down to the ground. He distractedly ran his hand through his hair. “What if I said I wanted every weekend with you? Maybe even every night.”