Called Up

by Jen Doyle

  Fitz grabbed one of the trays of drinks and whirled around to bring them to the table. One of these days she was going to say something like, “Guess who’s having spectacular sex with Deke now, Miss Has-Been Cheerleader from Hell.”

  Oh, God. No she wasn’t.

  She was on edge, though, thanks to Sam’s surprise visit, so she didn’t trust herself.

  We were in the neighborhood. Sam had laughed, fully acknowledging Inspiration, Iowa, wasn’t “in the neighborhood” for anyone unless they lived there. Or had a fleet of private planes at their disposable. Which, given his family’s fortune came partly from getting in on the whole airline business early on, Sam did.

  Fitz knew this from her research. She also knew Johnny was one of his investors thanks to a lot of piecing together she and Dorie had done based on things Nate had said. Nate who, incidentally had decided it was all fine and good that Fitz had decided she wanted to do this on her own, and was therefore going to support her one hundred percent in that effort.

  What Fitz didn’t know was why Sam and Johnny were here tonight when Johnny wasn’t scheduled to be in Inspiration for another week and as far as Fitz knew the formal interview process for the job still hadn’t begun. She was actually wondering if it ever would. With all that going on, the last thing she could reasonably handle was Peggy being all over Deke.

  Well, no. The actual last thing Fitz could handle was that she’d gone over to the bar to get a dose of Deke of her own. It bothered her immensely that she wanted one of his smiles to help settle her. Not just wanted one, needed it. She wasn’t ready to feel like this.

  “Here are the refills,” she said, all efficient and crisp, as if she wasn’t teetering on the edge of losing it in all sorts of ways.

  She passed the beers around as Lola came up behind her with the kids’ drinks. Deliberately ignoring any conversations happening on the other side of the room, Fitz picked up the new cards she’d been dealt and sat back in her chair as Johnny leaned in.

  She also had to admit Jason’s comments had thrown her. She’d been lulled into this whole Deke-wonderland, but Jason’s reaction was exactly what she’d worried about. It was bad enough they’d be the talk of the town. That in itself made her feel sick to her stomach. But even worse was how it would change things with the others. Look at how things were between Deke and Nate. What had almost happened with Jules. The idea of any more relationships changing because she and Deke liked to get naked together...

  Well, maybe it was time to start winding it down. It would definitely make things easier. Plus she was coming to count on him too much. With a glance at Deke, who was now distributing drinks to Peggy and her friends, three of whom Fitz knew for a fact he’d been with and two more of whom she suspected, it was clear he’d have no problems bouncing back. He was probably more ready to end this than she was.

  But for as much as she knew that would make things easier all around, it was yet another thing she wasn’t ready to think about.

  “Tough hand,” Johnny said, drawing her attention back to the game. She looked down to see the “tough” hand was actually a fantastic one in the Go Fish world. But he was exactly right. Fitz didn’t like winning outright when there were toddlers involved.

  So she ignored the three kings in her hand and instead said, “James, do you have any sixes?”

  “Eight!” James answered.

  Though Johnny tried to keep his laugh inside, Sam’s own attempt was obviously making it difficult. And to be honest, seeing two grown men trying to keep straight faces was quite entertaining.

  “Eight sixes?” Fitz asked, arching one eyebrow. “Or did you mean one eight?”

  Sam leaned in to point something out to James while whispering in his ear.

  “Three!” James replied.

  Since this was pretty much the pattern for the night, Fitz said, “Perfect. I’ll take it.”

  But James shook his head and pulled his cards in close. “You can have Emmet’s car.”

  That was unexpected. And unpopular. Rather than just say no, however, Emmet decided to throw said car directly at James’s head, where it would have done some damage if Deke hadn’t appeared right then and snatched it out of the air. “Okay, buddy. Mom says you guys have been great but it’s time to go home.”

  “Already?” Silas whined, coming up from whatever game he and Matty had been playing on Mama Gin’s phone.

  Fitz had to admit, she felt entirely the opposite. She was so ready to not be here with all these Deke and Peggy thoughts swirling around in her head. And although she suspected Sam and Johnny had come to Inspiration to see her, they hadn’t come out and said anything to that effect and she was more than happy to use the kids as an excuse to leave.

  But that plan flew out the window when Lola said, “Any chance you can catch a ride back if you stay? My mom said she needs to get in as much baby time as possible while they’re here. I thought she could drive with me back to the house.”

  No. Fitz tried to keep the panic from showing in her eyes. Being an adult who did, in fact, want to make a good impression on the man she’d told she was ready for the big leagues, however, she forced a smile and said, “Sure.”

  Dorie, who seemed to have as little a clue as to what Sam and Johnny were doing here as Fitz did, raised her eyebrows before turning to Sam. “Are you guys in town for the night? Do you need a ride somewhere? Fitz and I can drop you off along—”

  “I’ll drive her home,” Deke snapped, cutting Dorie off as he lifted Emmet out of his seat.

  Dorie’s eyebrows went higher. “Fine by me,” she said, grinning over at Fitz.

  Fitz smiled back, although her heart wasn’t entirely in it.

  It definitely wasn’t in it when, fifteen minutes later, after the older and younger sets had cleared out and Wash and Jason had taken their places and everyone was now thoroughly involved in a discussion about the Watchmen’s chances of making the World Series, Fitz looked up to see Deke back at the bar, talking to Peggy. Who, of course, chose that moment to put her hand on his arm. Nope. The word hate wasn’t nearly strong enough. Fitz turned her attention back to the baseball discussion.

  No more than two minutes later, she could feel his presence. She didn’t need to raise her head to know he was there.

  “So,” he said, the sharpness still in his voice surprising her as he slid into the seat James had occupied, diagonally across from her. “You guys are in town for how long?”

  Well, that was...rude. Again.

  Fitz shifted as Johnny tensed and then straightened up beside her.

  Gathering up the cards she could reach, Fitz’s smooth-it-over instincts were blaring, but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything that might give her away. Not sharing the same concerns, Wash was the one to say, “And what brings you here?”

  Although he was perfectly cordial about it, downright friendly when compared to Deke, the unasked part of the question—And why are you here in town when Nate isn’t?—was clearly heard by all.

  Fitz wanted to hear the answer as much as she dreaded it. She really wasn’t ready to tell anyone about the job. At the same time she did want to know why they were here. Was it an interview? Had Sam brought Johnny here to feel her out? Or had Johnny just decided to come check out Inspiration earlier than planned and Sam decided to tag along? She truly had no idea.

  Not one thing became any clearer when Johnny smiled down at her. “I was thinking I’d take you up on that offer to show me around.”

  And now it was Fitz’s turn to straighten up. Wait, was he coming on to her? It would be a pretty dumb move since all it would do was make Deke mad. Something she wished wasn’t so obvious, by the way, but that was so far down the list of concerns right now it wasn’t even funny. Because if Johnny was coming on to her it meant she wasn’t a serious contender for the job and they were just str
inging her along. The fact that the possibility made her almost overwhelmingly sad and angry was, she guessed, a sign of how much she wanted it.

  When Johnny cleared his throat, she said, “Oh,” and glanced at Dorie. “Sure.” Then, although she’d made that offer only to keep from hearing about Deke’s history of sexcapades, she added, “We’d love to.” And then stared at Dorie with as strong a you-are-doing-this-with-me vibe as possible.

  Dorie got the hint, thank God. “We totally would,” she said without even a second’s hesitation. She pulled out her phone. “I have a meeting at 9:30, but maybe we could head out to Ella’s farm after that. I think Nate mentioned possibly filming from there. Her porch has a fantastic view.”

  Fitz tried not to openly show her relief, but from the way Johnny glanced at her and then Sam before turning to Dorie, she had a feeling he could tell. But he didn’t make a big deal of it and Sam took it totally in stride as well, so that was good. And, hopefully, all aboveboard because she liked him and would very much like to work for him and it would suck big time if he was, in fact, a total jerk. So maybe this was a test of some kind. See how the potential candidate handles all the good-looking player types who’ll be coming at her each and every day.

  Deke, in the meantime, tipped his chair back, for the most part appearing completely unfazed. But she could see the white of his knuckles as he clutched the back of the chair next to him, and his jaw was clenched so tightly she was afraid he might actually break it.

  “Well on that note...” Wash said, standing once the arrangements had been made. “I’ve got an early morning, as usual. ‘Night, all.”

  Jason stood up as well, nodding at Sam and Johnny. “Nice to see you guys. Let me know if you want a tour of the high school. I’ve got some fantastic senior projects I’d be happy to show off.”

  Wash put his hand on Jason’s shoulder. “The frightening thing is that he’s entirely serious.”

  “What?” Jason asked, as Wash steered them toward the front door. “You should see what one of the kids did with graphing...”

  With an almost apologetic smile, Dorie said to everyone still at the table, “They really are good. I think we should rope in the high school kids with some kind of contest to help us with the designs for Baseball City.”

  Which was what they’d all been calling the Iowa Dream Academy since the votes had come in last week and it was unanimously decided to go full speed ahead. It was keeping Fitz busy at the moment and she was good with that.

  After a long and somewhat awkward moment of silence that even Fitz didn’t try to fill, Sam said, “I guess we’ll call it a night, too. We’ll see you ladies in the morning,” and then nodded at Deke.

  Dorie also got up, saying, “I’ll walk out with you.” She reached over and gave Deke a hug. With a wave toward Fitz, Dorie said, “I’ll call you,” over her shoulder as she joined Sam and Johnny. And before Fitz could even register what had happened, they were out the door, too, leaving Fitz alone with Deke.

  “So...” she mumbled, glad to have a minute to catch her breath.

  Except then Deke said, “What the hell was that?”

  Fitz went still.

  “What?” she asked. Because, honestly, there were so many things, not one of which she wanted to address.

  And she had no idea which one he’d pick until he came out and, every muscle in his body tense, asked, “Would it really be so bad? Telling people we’re a thing?”

  Maybe another man wouldn’t have seen the downright terror in her eyes. Maybe another man wouldn’t have cared. But Deke had and he did, and there was a sting of disappointment in the air all around them when she didn’t answer right away. Before she could say or do anything to fix it, though, he muttered, “Right,” and stared down at the cards in front of him. Then he suddenly leaned forward and gathered them up. “I’ve got to get back to work. If you’re sure you want to hang around, I’ll be ready to go in about an hour.”

  Of course she wanted to hang around. That was the whole problem. She wanted to be with him all the time. She’d even begun to think about what it would mean to be away from him if she got this new job.

  Well, pretty much everyone she cared about, but mostly him, which went against almost everything she’d spent her entire life believing. She would not rely on a man. She would not change her life for anyone. But it had never occurred to her that she’d be here in this completely unfamiliar place with Deke.

  She couldn’t say any of that, of course. She could barely even think it. Especially not when he was so obviously unhappy. She couldn’t handle her own emotions; she didn’t have the first clue how to handle his.

  “Okay,” she mumbled, looking down. By the time she managed to raise her eyes again, he was up and headed to the bar, not even glancing back in her direction.

  Which was when it fully hit her. It wasn’t just the way he was with Nate, or how he’d almost lost it with Jules. There were actual changes in him. His reaction to Johnny. The way he was nodding at something Josh was saying, friendly but not actually interacting with the regulars. He let Josh handle the bar and instead began busing tables. It even bothered Fitz a little that he didn’t give Peggy’s table a second glance, as crazy as that seemed.

  She’d changed him. She’d broken him.

  Although she finally got up to help and got a smile in acknowledgement, it wasn’t until they were in his truck and on their way that she finally got the nerve to say something. “I want you to be happy.”

  Deke glanced over at her before turning his attention back to the road. “Is something going on with you and Price?”

  “Sam?” Leave it to Deke to figure out Johnny wasn’t even close to being a problem despite being front and center.

  “Because if you want to sleep with him,” Deke said, his voice so even it almost didn’t even sound like him, “then I’d rather you just come out and say it.”

  Sleep with Sam? “No.”

  His eyes came to hers quickly, as if searching to make sure she was telling the truth. But he had to know she wouldn’t lie to him. And, yes, his expression softened as he looked back out at the road. Which was when she should have told him about the job. She absolutely needed to tell him. But he was already upset. Plus at this point, with the completely random Sam/Johnny visit, she had even less of a clue if they were seriously considering her for the job, so telling him now would make it all that much worse.

  Which was the worst excuse ever, but she was going with it for now. Especially when he looked over at her one more time and said, “Then I’m good.”

  That wasn’t even close to true. “Not the way you used to be.”

  He frowned, proving her point exactly, although she wasn’t about to mention it.

  “Well, yeah,” he said. “Finding out the woman I’ve been sleeping with off and on for years used me as bait and that I’ve been completely oblivious to all the other bullshit going on around here for pretty much my entire life... It’s been getting to me.”

  Yes. It was even worse than she’d thought. She’d taken the best thing in her entire life, the best person she’d ever known, and she’d burned out his light.

  She should have been humble about it. She should have been quiet, for damn sure. But instead it was like all of her emotions swirled up, out of control, and every reservation she’d ever had came tumbling out.

  “See?” she snapped, afraid she might actually burst into tears. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you about what Peggy had done. Because it would change the way you felt about everything. ‘It doesn’t need to be complicated,’ you said. But it is complicated. Everything’s totally different already.”

  He pulled to the side of the road, leaving the engine on but leaning back and resting one arm along the open window. “So you’d rather I be clueless, happy-go-lucky Max Deacon, without a freaking care in the wor
ld.”

  “No. That is not what I said. I just hate that tonight you were so...”

  His eyes narrowed. “So what? Pissed off?”

  Well, yes. But if she said that he’d be even more so. “It’s like you were totally happy with life until you started being with me.”

  He turned to fully face her. “That’s what you get out of this?” Then he looked back out through the windshield. “Yeah, I’m pissed. Forget the part about walking around in some freaking daze for my whole life. Or that it’s like pulling teeth to get you to tell me even the slightest thing.”

  “That’s not—”

  “I’m pissed,” he said, speaking over her, “because Peggy is texting me ten times a day and I would love more than anything to tell her to back off, but you don’t want me to tell her why. Or that I kind of hate her guts at the moment, which is a pretty strange place to be, considering that, as far as she knows, my bed is completely empty and waiting for her.”

  Wait. “What?” Peggy was texting him? Ten times a day?

  “But that doesn’t even hold a candle to the fact that I can’t put my arms around you and kiss you or kick the ever-living shit out of any other guy who looks at you twice.”

  Her lips formed an “Oh,” but she was pretty sure no word actually came out. She looked down. She honestly didn’t know what to say. Other than she wanted to open up a can of whup ass and throw it Peggy’s way.

  Except then he added, “And because I saw the look in your eyes when Jason said what he did.”

  Letting her head fall back against the seat, Fitz closed her eyes. Right. There was that.

  She may have even flinched when he said, “I know what this is supposed to be. I know what I told you it was, but I think I might have been wrong.”

  How so? she wanted to say. What were you wrong about?

  Except she knew. She knew exactly.

  They were falling in love.

  It should have been a happy thing. It was what every normal person in the world wanted. But Fitz couldn’t speak. She couldn’t breathe. And this was supposed to be the good part.