Three Trapped Tigers

by G. Cabrera Infante

  The scandal began the day though it was night that we were almost killed by the truck. The driver started it up without realizing we were underneath and we were within an inch of being crushed by the rear wheels but we began to scream and scream again and everyone rushed out to see what was going on. I think the driver didn’t know we were under the truck but sometimes I think sure the driver knew and was probably the only one who did. The fact is everyone rushed out and the driver stood there shouting at us and Petra shouted at us and so did Petra’s boyfriend and Petra’s mother, Ciana, she didn’t shout at us, but she told us she was going to tell my mother and Aurelita’s mother as well, and it was then that we decided that if she, Ciana Cabrera, was going to tell, we were going to tell too. She told, so we told too. I was positive Mommy was going to spank me but when I told her everything she cracked up laughing and said it was about time Petra made it. It seemed she meant Petra was quite old and that she and her boyfriend had been going together for about ten years, and it was about time, so everyone said. But what my mother really said was, “Well, looks like Petra made up her mind to get married behind the church after all.” I know this didn’t mean Petra got married in another part of the church, at the back of it, but that it meant something else but I knew quite well that I wasn’t supposed to say it (just as I couldn’t say what we were doing under the truck) so I asked Mommy, “Mommy, how can you get married behind the back of the church? With no priest?” and Mommy nearly split her sides laughing. “Yes, love, just like that: without the priest,” and she almost choked herself to death. Then she went and called the neighbors.

  This was how Aurelita and I began to tell the story of what had happened and whenever someone arrived at the house all he had to do was to say good evening or good morning or good afternoon (by this time Mommy had stopped serving coffee) and then ask, “Come here, children. What were you up to under the truck?” And we told the story again and again and again till we came within an inch of telling what we were really doing under the truck. But then Ciana Cabrera and Petra her daughter moved to Pueblo Nuevo, which isn’t really either nuevo nor a pueblo but a shanty town at the other end of our town where people live in houses with dirt floors and thatched roofs, and as the neighbors left off asking us to tell them the story, Aurelita and I decided to go to Pueblo Nuevo every day when school was out, so that they’d ask us, “Come here, girls. Tell us what you were up to under the truck.”

  It was in Pueblo Nuevo that we learned that Petra’s boyfriend had never come back to the town on Thursdays or on Sundays either and that afterward he only came back on Sundays just to take a walk in the park and we knew that Petra didn’t go out at all as her mother kept the door locked all day and as she wasn’t speaking to anyone in Pueblo Nuevo they no longer had any dealings with anyone, not like before when they had always been paying calls on people and vice versa.

  Havana April 22 1953

  My dear Estelvina,

  I am hoping that this letter finds you and yours well. As for us here neither good or bad. Estelvina your letter was a wonderful surprise. You don’t know what a thrill it is to get a letter from you after such a long time that you haven’t written to us. Now I understand that you was right to be standoffish and strict with us after everything that has happened though in fact it was hardly our fault if Gloria your daughter ran away from home and came to shelter here in Havana. Don’t forget she pulled a fast one on us too, telling us like she did youd sent her here to study and she even showed us a letter which she said you had written yourself and in this letter you said that youd sent her here so she could study and get herself a decent job and we were stupid enough to believe it because we read it and didn’t give it another thought. So we let her sleep here and you know what that means without being told because we all live in one room so you can imagine theres not much room left.

  Now youre asking after her and you say she hasnt written you for over eihgt months now, so I have to tell you that its also been a long time that we haven’t heard a thing from her either, not so much as a word. I don’t know if where you are living now which as Gilberto says is where you may lose your own shadow, you can get Bohemia the magasine. If Basilio doesnt bring one with him when he next goes to town Ill send you a copy myself which is ours but you can consider yours and so youll know what your daughter has been getting upto. It seem she’s been working as a girl model which is not in the least as decent as it sounds. I don’t know if you happen to know that she beggan working hear a cupla weeks after she arrived in Havana city and that she got a job as baby sister taking care of children in a private address on El Vedado a classy district here in Havana though not Havana proper. The thing is when we asked her were she was studying she told us she had no intention of studying anymore, those were her words and whats more she told us she wasnt going to spend four or five years in the prime of her life killing herself working days and studing nights and never go out and enjoy herself only to end up working like a dog in some office or other and get as much money as a dogflea, thats what she said and further more she added that if she had any studying to do she’ll be doing it from now on at the School of Hard Knox, her very words.

  I swear to God Estel I felt like slapping her face twice, she said it with such nerve and effrontery and put on so many airs when she was speaking she sounded like an old hore though she cant be more than sixteen your own daughter. Thank God Gilberto was there to stop me by saying to me right in front of her after all she was no daughter of mine and I had enough to do minding my own business and let the rest of the world take care of itself. Your daughter, you know what she said? Thats exactly what I think myself, she said to us and then just to me youd better follow your husband’s advice she said and then she left. She didn’t come back to my house for about two weeks or so at least and when she came back next she came back very properly and modestly dressed and asking for me to forgive her on account of her past behavior towards me and she said she had given up baby sistering and that now she was working in a beauty parlor and as she was making much more money there it suited her better, so she was moving into a boarding house close to work.

  I swear to you Estel that I was even pleased to hear it and I swear by all thats sacred on earth and the All Mighty Estel that I remember when we was children and played in the yard at the sugar mill and went to school together and all the good times we had and you know what a silly woman and how emotional I am I burst into tears at the slightest which I did then so much so Gilberto had to put an end to it by getting mad at me and saying I was crying for cryings sake, which it simply isn’t tru. So we quareled over it and werent speaking to each other for about a week or so and to top it off it was just then your letter came, which Im telling you because you were always like a sister to me, that close. It hurted me very deep and made me cry so much I had to hid myself like a criminal though it was only tears. Well I suppose that evrythings bygones even bygones can be bygones as Gilberto says, so I gotten over that little upset bynow. But I can swear to you by the Blessed Virgin Mary that we didn’t know a thing about all this bussines and that this daughter of your who dont look like a daughter of your at all could pull the wool over the eyes of God Himself if she only had the chance to go to heaven.

  The thing is she came by here a little while ago and I just had to scold her. You I said to her are not behaving yourself like a daughter of my old friend Estelvina I said to her my oldest friend Estelvina is a decent and honest woman and I said it twice so as to rub it in and you girl could take a lesson or two from your mother my oldest friend Estelvina Garcés. And I told her how there werent two women like you in the whole wild world and that you would die of shame if you ever knew what she’s up to and then she would know what its like to live without a mother just like you and me who had to grow up mother less and like orphans and right there your daughter bust into tears and I was so upset to see her like that I gave her all sort of friendly advice to cheer her up, but youll never guess what she did next. Just before leav
ing and after she was quite and calmed for a little while and had stopped sobbing all together I even maid her a cup of coffee and she drank it. Well she goes and stand in the door way with one hand on the door and a very pretty handbag in the other hand and from over there she says to me as cool as the morning, almost dying of laughter rather, she says to me, youre miss pronouncing it. The what I asked her? And she answers youve got one ess too many. Its E Telvina not Ess Telvina and she closed the door in my face before I had time to put her in her place. Believe me this daughter of yours who you spent so much trouble over Estel has turned out a bad egg and I havent even told you the half of what she really is believe me or youd think she’s a rotten egg.

  I just finished doing the dishes and Gilbertos gone back to work, so now I can carry on with this letter I began this morning. As I was saying this daughter of your’s turned out a right good for nothing hear in Havana which is a very dangeroused city for young peeple from the Country without any experience on life whatso ever. Harsenio Que live here now and met her and he told us she was working in the beauty parlor of Radiocentro which is this tall sky scraper about twelve floors high where they have the radio station CMQ and a theater and cafes and restaurants even a chinese one, and God knows what. Gloria hadn’t been here for ages and then one day she comes and without so much as a formal Hello she sits down and askes for a glass of Polar beer just like am telling you. Lissen girlie, I said to her real mad, you think we keep a bar here or something. We dont stock beer, we dont even have an icebox, besides Gilberto doesnt drink because he has a liver. You know what that daughter of yours said to me? Well then let Gilberto go and buy me a beer, Ill drink it myself and youll be able to see how I gone up in the world. I didnt know what she meant I swear. Gone up I said, how gone up? Then she said go and bye a newspaper and youll see what I mean.

  Poor Gilberto went out not to buy the newspaper but to borrow one from Genaro whose an old aquantance, a cigar roller who lives nexdoor, himself a negro but a very decent person so he lent him his newspaper. No sooner had Gilberto brought it back she snatched it from his hands, opened it and handed it back to us open, and would you beleive she was in el Mundo, your daughter was, advertising Polar beer! There she was almost nakid waring one of those things they call here a bequeenis I dont expect you to know about them, nothing more than two strips of cloth one up here and one down there which look more like a womans headscarf and hand kerchief over the hips and breasts only with nothing but nothing else not even to cover the naval. She was standing dressed with no dress next to would you beleive a polar bear. Not only that but putting her arm around the animal and all that. The advertisement said in big letters Beauty and the bear enjoy life with Polar beer and then under neath there was a small lettering which seemed like something indecent and it isnt yet it was because if you look at it long enough you see that the words are like a hand and the letters are fingers and they go all around her nakid body and where it says dig it’s like a middle finger this word going into your daughter Gloria Pérez, who of course is no longer either Gloria nor Pérez or any thing like that any more.

  She is called Cuba Venegas now which is a name for good saleman ship so she told me herself, however dont ask me what shes selling. Your daughter Cuba Venegas also poses for other commercial products and among these other products she poses for Pepsy which is a beverage and theres one advertisement which says If You Want to Take Cuba Take Pepsy first and then quite clear Then Take Her. What with one thing and another shes becoming quite famous I must admit and making lots and lots of money because she came here in one of those big automobiles which don’t have a roof or anything on top and she invited us to come down to the street and look at her convertible, that’s how she called the automobile. I didnt go down because this street is always full of people and I was dressed in my working clothes which I always wear during the day but Gilberto whose just like a boy and has always been crazy about automobiles poor soul he went down and told me it was fantastic. He also told me there was a man driving it, I asked Gilberto who he was and he said he didnt know, he was not introduced and I asked him how he looked and he said he couldn’t tell, that he couldn’t for the light of him say if he was dark or blond or black or white or if he had a nose or a sweet potato on his face and that he knew he was a man because he wore a mustache and that though their are women who have mustaches they don’t have drooping handlebar mustaches, which was the kind of mustache the man driving the car was waring.

  Your daughter Cuba Venegas, excuse me Estel but I have to laugh, she came here sevrall times and evry time she was better dressed than the time before. One time she arrived and came in and she had a boy with her, ever such a pretty boy, very young and quiet delicate and who was always licking his lips with his tongue and wetting them and he wore some kind of peek aboo hair doo, his long blond hair hanging loose in waves down to his cute face and covering one of his blue blue eyes, and he was carrying a little straw case that your daughter said was hers. But he didn’t sit down as if he was afraid he would get his little white pants dirty on my poor furniture I swear they were made of white satin or something. Your daughter was very well dressed and she looked so fancy and elegant in her crispy new dress. She told me then she was now a star to let, something like that, that she was working for the radio and television and she also told me she was making a mint of money. But when I asked her if she was sending you any she said of course she had sent some for Christmas but that she had to spend so much on shoes and clothes and make up and so on and soforth and not only that but now on a personal manager as well, meaning the boy as she pointed to him standing there so stiff holding the straw case for her. How do you like that, your daughter with a personal manager, whatever that is. Then she told me she hoped I would watch her on the television shows and she said lots of other things, mainly a lot of garbage I don’t remember now. Another time she came waring a very smart silk gown silk or something like it and she told me they were doing a picture storey on her and she came with a photographer a fellow with green eye glasses for the sun and a face like a toad and a mustache which looked as though it had been just pencilled in, though he was not the same as the other man. who came the other time because the other one had a drooping walrus mustache. He took many pictures here in my house and your daughter who used to be called Gloria told me the photographer wanted to put a storey about her in Carteles which is another magazine here in Havana with the story of her life, that’s what she told me and they stayed here taking pictures the whole afternoon. I’m quite sure this photographer is a real disreputable character who spent the afternoon not only taking pictures of your daughter but handling her, giving her nasty wet kisses in every corner of the room and I nearly threw him out because if theres one thing I dont like its disorder in my house. When she left he told me he would send me copies of the pictures as a present, me who was working myself to the bone doing the washing of the week in the court yard all the time. I’m still waiting for them. Gilberto brought the magazine and all you see of the house is the worst part of it which is that hidious court yard and the water faucets and the outhouses, all that part of the house which are not supposed to be seen but you can smell quite clearly. Well thats in the back ground and your daughter is in the for ground making pretty faces and poses, and under neath the writing is quiet disgusting with all kind of double meanings. The only good thing about it being mainly that we dont appear in the pictures.

  The last time I saw your daughter was about six months ago I hardly knew her any longer let alone what her name could be by now, she came here one evening with a pretty blonde girlfriend and the two of them were wereing men’s pants though tighter than I have ever seen, tight every where but tighter in the wrong places if you know what I mean, and they were smoking cigarettes, a kind of cigarette that smells very rich and sweet, like candies but cigarettes, American I beleive. I made coffee for them and they stayed here for a bit and sat down and I almost felt happy because she looked so pretty, your daughter. Its tru
she was wearing too much makeup and lipstick and eyeshado but all the same she looked really lovely. She and her friend talked under their sweet breath and whispered together so much it must have been something nasty about us but I swear to you I didn’t care at all though it wasn’t nice, and then they lighted their cigarettes one from the other or with the two cigarettes in the mouth of one of them and then passed it on to the other and then they said such things I didn’t understand them hardly and then they giggled together and laughed loudly and even went into the court yard and laughed at the neighbors as they linked arms and said so many things to each other like my sister and dear dearest friend, well you know, things like that. When they finally left they went away hand in hand and they were almost choking with laughter as if it was all such a terrific joke which nobody but them could understand. Out of politeness I went down with them as far as the door of the building and say goodby to them and they both waved goodby to me from the auto which was without its roof top but with no man driving it so they drove off with a lot of noise and dying but reelly dying of laughter. That was the last time your daughter who used to be called Gloria Perez and is now called Cuba Venegas or something or other was here.

  What with all this fuss and bother I almost forgot to tell you I lost my last hope of having a child of my own about a year ago. It looked very promising but to no avail and now I have given up this illusion all together because already I am almost middle aged and am about to withdraw. Nothing new as far as you can see Estel except that we are getting old and a little while longer we will be getting much older and ready to be gone for ever. Write to me soon please and dont forget your friend who always have fond thoughts of you and never forget how at school when we were little girls every body always mistook us for sisters.