Your Husband My Trick

by Solae Dehvine

  I needed a Keeno and I needed to be on Uzi’s level. He was the lean man in Houston, I worked for months to get close to this nigga and now here I was walking into his crib like I was family.

  “Wassup my dude.” I gave him a five. He moved a little slow at first, but that was only the lean. Seconds later he was standing up dusting his clothes off like nothing happened.

  “Wassup man.”

  “Shit dude. I’m just here to pick up another order.” I dropped the bag down on the table, opening it up so he could see it all.

  “That’s wassup ya bitch. Get this bitch his shit.” My jaws clenched as he said the words.

  “Damn man you gotta say bitch so much?” I asked him as Keeno came out of the shadows. He was a little nigga, five foot seven maybe, but he wore a dead straight look on his face like he could shoot you and not blink.

  Dark with hair like the predator and teeth brighter than the sun, that was a New Orleans nigga for you. Since Katrina they have been in Houston like roaches, running shit and taking no prisoners.

  “I’m from the motherfucking ninth ward, ya heard me...that’s what the fuck we say.” Uzi said. He talked fast, almost like a gun spitting bullets.

  “That’s how we talk nigga, wit ya stupid ass...what the fuck nigga.” Keeno was talking now. Grabbing up the money and snapping. “On my maw nigga...we say what we want. Y’all niggas fucks me up bruh.”

  “Cook it K. Ain’t no snap bitch. It’s cool. They think we got a...what they call that bitch…” Uzi said rubbing his head. “A accent nigga.”

  “We ain’t the ones wit that accent nigga...we talk regular, it’s these bitches that got the accent.” Keeno was mad, his face all scrunched up and his dreads flew about his head as he talked.

  “Son...go by the refrigerator and get me a cold drank. Fuck all the dumb shit.” Keeno had his eyes on me, for a full second I thought I was gonna have to square up with this nigga all over a question.

  “My bad nigga, I didn’t mean shit by it. But here when a nigga say bitch it mean something else. We take that shit as disrespect.”

  I held out my hand to dap Keeno up but he looked down at it like I had shit in my fingernails.

  “Lil Keeno...go get me a cold drank man...chill out cuz…” but I saw it in his eyes, the white had turned red.

  “Fuck that.” He moved so quick, going up under his shirt, and before I could blink he had pulled out a gun and lifted it to my face. He pressed the bitch into my neck as he cocked the motherfucker. The gun probably weighed more than him but Keeno handled that bitch like it weighed two pounds.

  “So wassup now BITCH!” He screamed. “You don’t like the word bitch huh...Ya heard me…How you like this ya Bitch ya?” I’d rather die on my feet and I was ready to go at any second about this shit. Like a real gangster I stood my ground.

  “If you gon’ shoot me, go ahead and do it. Like I said, you in H-Town nigga.” Lifting my head I gave him a clear shot to my throat. “Do what you gotta do.” In my mind I was saying goodbye to all my friends. I was sending them all a message through my brain, but seconds later the room filled with laughter.

  “You see how stuck that bitch was K.” Uzi said mocking me. “Do what you gotta do…ya heard me?” They burst out into laughter but I was damn near about to shit myself. That’s how crazy this street shit is. You can kill or be killed or a nigga would test you like these New Orleans niggas were doing.

  “Naw it's all good folk.” Keeno cracked a smile for the first time ever in my presence. Dapping me up he disappeared, taking his human sized AK with him.

  “It’s all good bruh we just had to test ya out, ya heard me?” I would have went through hell and high water to get with they ass. I made forty thousand in three days fucking with these nigga, if this was how they wanted to play then so be it.

  “Shit I wasn’t scared. Y’all niggas is funny though.” I laughed, sitting down on a chair like everything was cool. On the inside I wanted to panic and run out the door. I came here solo, with a gun on my side and a hundred racks in a Louis backpack.

  “Aight here ya go nigga” coming back in the room the nigga Keeno was carrying two duffle bags now.

  “Everything ya want ya heard me.” He gave me a handshake, his palm hard with thick ass callouses, but I shook his shit right back. “We good bruh, ain’t shit.” I told him and he said the same. But the look in his eye, the fire was still there. That couldn’t be faked. He let my hand go and retreated back to his corner but I felt something. That nigga Keeno couldn’t be trusted.

  “Aight while you looking it over bruh I got a question for ya. I’m looking for a woman like yours bruh. Shit I saw her ass in the club last night…” I could only laugh at that. “I can’t believe you let yo chick dance for niggas bruh.” It was the same question everybody had. How could my gal be a stripper? But only if they knew what kind of bread we were getting and the main thing they didn’t know was Lark wasn’t my girl, she was my employee with benefits.

  “Shit man she tight but you should see her sister.”

  “Word, she got a sister?”

  “Yep, younger, ass fatter, titties plumper and all that shit.” I hadn’t seen Fendi in person but from the pictures and videos I felt like I picked the wrong bitch.

  “Word...where she at? Send her by here, real talk bruh. These bitches I’m finding are dirt.”

  “She on her way, moving here straight from Atlanta.”

  “Aww she a ATL freak. You know all them bitches down there gay as fuck. Say the chicks be fiending for dick and…” suddenly Uzi stopped talking. I looked up to see if this was another test and the nigga Uzi was snoring like a baby. In mid-sentence the lean had the nigga falling asleep and drooling. I checked the Actavis bottles I just purchased while he nodded off going back and forth between mumbling and being sleep as Keeno watched me like a hawk

  “It’s all there bitch...you ain’t figured that out yet.” I didn't say shit to him. I kept doing my thing but out the corner of my eye I saw him fidgeting with the gun. Like he couldn’t wait to aim it at my head again, but this time he would pull the trigger.

  “Yeah I got everything.”

  “Good...now get ya bitch ass out here ya heard...you don’t like that word bitch huh...maybe I make that your new name...huh ya bitch.” I wanted to kill the nigga more than anybody I had ever come across in my life. My hand was shaking, begging me to grab my glock and let it spray through this bitch. But I was outnumbered, he had the gun in his hand and I had my product with my gun on my hip.

  By the time I put this shit down and try to shoot him I would have been dead.

  “Yo you good fam?” Uzi woke up, now standing up slow, and finally making a bit of sense. He did this out of nowhere like he wasn’t just snoring in a miniature coma.

  “Yeah I’m good cuz. Get some rest.”

  “Yo Bruh. Let me know when you get that bitch in here. I wanna fuck with her. She look like yo girl then I’m on it.” That was the only thing that brought a smile to my face.

  “No doubt bruh. I got you.” I didn’t even glance Keeno’s way. To me he was a dead man, when a nigga pulls a strap out on me he might as well be ready for his Mama to be crying over his casket.

  But I smiled, acting like shit was cool as I left.

  “Aight fam. I’ll holla.” Back outside it was like the devil was already out. The H-Town humidity was thick as them nigga’s accents. Or maybe it was me, because I am the devil of H-Town, and like the devil I like lettin niggas fall into their habits until the shit turns into the problem they can’t escape.

  In the car, I drove off putting everything together.

  “Yeah you call me a bitch now nigga...wait till I put my bitch on you and trick you out, everything you got.” Now it was my turn to laugh. My plan would be airtight, now all I needed was the bait, and that bitch Fendi was it.

  7

  H-Town

  Lark

  In Houston everything is fast, from the money to the driving. And I was driving
down the highway, speeding to pick up my sister. I wanted to stay at home and get some sleep, after fucking for the last few hours and dancing all night, my body craved the rest but there was no sleeping for a hustler like me.

  Pulling up to the baggage claim pick-up area I saw her ass sticking out like a sore thumb.

  “Fendi!!” I yelled, letting the top down on the Porsche. Don told me to drive it today and who was I to say no.

  “Gotta drive the pussy grabbers to pick up the new employees.” But he didn’t know that there would be no pussy grabbing going on with Fendi, or at least I didn’t think so, unless she’s changed it all like she’s always wanted.

  “Girl, this shit is fly.” She was throwing her bag in the backseat and reaching in to give me a hug. Even up close I couldn’t tell, she had come a long way from trying to hide that stubbled chin under bad makeup.

  “Bitch you look like a Barbie doll.”

  “Bitch I look like Little Kim back in 97.” She laughed and I did too. She really did look natural but I could tell she was worried.

  “So bitch, what is going on?” She jumped in and I let the Porsche whisk us away from the airport while she explained.

  “I’m fucking with this guy...or used to because I’m done with that.”

  "Girl I know. Nick right?”

  “Yeah...Nick. We been laying low key. He even got us this small apartment and shit, and I’ve been staying there. So I hear banging on the door and it’s his wife.” I wanted to laugh. I was glad I didn’t have those problems. No matter how much he rubbed their relationship in my face, there was no way in hell I was ever going to see Don’s wife, or hear from her.

  “So then what happened?”

  “Girl she was banging on the door outside my apartment. His ass calls me and says that the bitch is a cop and she found out about everything when he got shot last night, and now I need to leave before she shoots me.” I wanted to laugh so hard I almost swerved into the next lane.

  “Bitch, you lying.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “I swear. I was running outta there with the shit you see me with now hunny, that was it. Shit, it's hot out here.” She pulled off her jacket revealing some perkies under her tight ass shirt.

  “Damn you got your titties done.”

  “Girl I had all kinds of work done. That’s why my ass is in debt now. My ass, titties, shaved down my Adam’s apple, got my jaw and nose done. Shit, I’ve gotten everything fixed except…” She pointed down.

  “Damn… I thought you had that done too.” She laughed at me as I switched lanes.

  “Why?”

  “Because bitch, part of the reason that Don paid for you to come down here was to get this money.”

  “I know. Scam these niggas like we used to do back in the day.” She didn’t know the whole truth. This was way beyond what we used to do back in the day.

  “I mean it might be a little more than that.”

  “What the fuck...he wants me to fuck somebody?” She laughed so hard her voice echoed off the palm trees that we drove past. “Girl what he got you out here doing?”

  “Look, I’m out here making money. You see this car? You see this ride?”

  “I see this Gucci bag in the back. What’s that?” She reached for the bag but I stopped her, it wasn’t mine to be touching on.

  “Don’t touch it. It’s some shoes I gotta take that back to the store. It's the wrong size.”

  “Oh, what size is it? I’ll squeeze my feet up in there.” She laughed but this shit wasn’t a joke.

  “No, leave it alone. That’s his shit.” She kept reaching anyway.

  “NO!”

  “Damn...what’s wrong with you?”

  “You don’t understand. That’s his wife’s shit. I just want to take it back to the store and get the replacement. Don’t want shit being wrong.”

  “His wife?” I forgot that she didn’t know anything. I only told Fendi bits and pieces, along with the shit she saw on Instagram, but none of that was my real life.

  “Yeah, Don is married. And he’s not leaving his wife until the kids are grown, so let’s just drop it okay.” I told her merging onto the 610. The heavy traffic forced me to put the top back up and turn on the air conditioning. Thankfully it helped me change the subject. I turned up the radio, my new beat that Don produced was on constant repeat in the car.

  “Damn that’s a hot beat. What’s that?”

  “It’s for me. I’m rapping now.”

  “Whattt bitch! You started back?”

  “Yeah. I had to. I just need to get a good hook for this song through.”

  “Okay...what you got so far?” She asked as we inched along in traffic.

  “I’ll fuck ya nigga, take his cash, give him back but that shit won’t last…” I flowed for her, giving her bar after bar, but when I got to the hook I was stuck in my tracks.

  “What...why you stop?”

  “I can’t figure out the hook. You know I’m bad with coming up with hooks.”

  “Hmm…Play it back again.” I played it another time, bobbing our heads, it took me back to old times. When Fendi was my brother Fennis and we sat at the kitchen table listening to cd’s and pretending to be rappers. I saw that same look in his eye back then that I see now.

  “I got it.” She said, starting the beat over and turning up the volume. “Yo Husband, my Trick, make yo nigga suck my dick.” It was so hot over the beat I almost hit the car in front of me.

  “BITCH!!!!” I screamed ready to jump out the car and do a cartwheel.

  “That’s that old Lil Kim shit.”

  “And if I was a dude I’d tell y’all to suck my dick.” I remembered those words and how when I heard them for the first time it transformed my life.

  “Yep you just roll with that.”

  “And you think it will work.”

  “Hell yeah girl. That’s gold right there. That is a hit.” She told me bobbing her head like the true hip hop fanatic she was. I missed these days being with Fen. I thought it would be all bad, but maybe it wouldn’t be bad having her around.

  “You got any shorts?”

  “Yeah I got a little something. But the rest is mostly winter stuff.”

  “Oh no hunny, that’s not going to work. You’ll be too hot here. Especially trying to work.”

  “Work...where? Doing what?” It was my job to tell her all of this stuff. It would be better coming from me now rather than later.

  “Since you got your situation going on, we’ll have to be delicate.”

  “Oh you talking about my dick. Girl please. There’s more people that are gay than you fucking realize.”

  “Girl I’m serious, these niggas down here don’t play.”

  “And I’m serious. It don’t matter who you get me with, I bet you I can turn they ass gay. They’ll be sucking my dick in no time.” I laughed but Fendi was dead serious and a part of me was glad she said that. I know if Fendi says that she can do something, she damn well means it.

  “And you sure nobody would know. Because I haven’t told Don, and if I could keep from telling him, that would be great.” If Don knew that Fendi had a dick he would throw my ass to the curb, take the songs that I’ve already recorded and maybe even worse.

  “All you probably gonna owe him is a few thousand dollars anyway.”

  “A few...how much was the damn plane ticket?”

  “Girl, between the plane ticket and shopping, we’re gonna rack up a little bit.”

  “But where is your money? You couldn’t loan it to me instead of me dealing with this nigga I’ve never met?”

  “Girl…I’m kind of strained. I got my money wrapped up in some shit.” She rolled her eyes at that.

  “Shopping...where?” I didn’t say a word. Instead I turned up the radio and put my foot on the gas. Getting off the 610 and going west towards the Galleria, I saw Fendi’s eyes darting all around at the buildings.

  “Oh shit...They got that big ass Louis V store in here don’t they?”
All I did was smile, pulling into the valet line at the Houston Galleria parking lot.

  “Don told me to take you shopping. So you just gotta pay him all this money back. Now look…” As I pulled into the valet car booth I turned to her and made her look me in the eyes.

  “The longer you take to pay him back, the longer you will have to work for him.”

  “Ohhh Kay…” She didn’t get it. I could tell by her voice that she didn’t quite understand.

  “And the longer you go without paying things off, the more the interest adds up.”

  “Aight, it’s cool. I mean I’m not new to hustling. You know this is how I survive right?”

  “Yeah...right.” We got out and I took the blue ticket from the valet. Grabbing the Gucci bag she looked at me but she didn’t say a word.

  “So I’ll stay with you?”

  “Yeah, I got a house not far from here in Bellaire.”

  “Damn I feel like the fresh princess.” I rolled my eyes at that.

  “Bitch you better watch that shit. Stop with all the jokes.”

  “Okay...damn. You got me down here and you want me to be on my p’s and q’s.” Fendi said walking ahead of me into the mall.

  “I just want you to act grateful for what I did, because I could have left your ass where you were.” It was always like this. Me saving Fendi from one bad situation to the next. She always got back on her feet but this would be the last damn time I was helping.

  “Yeah you could have, and I’m grateful for that.” That was good to hear. Because all my life my granny used to tell us to watch out for Fennis. “She’s different than y’all. She’s been through a lot. The least you can do is watch out for your sister.” My granny was all about us staying together, and when she passed away ten years ago I tried to keep my promise to the woman that raised me, but taking care of Fendi was a full time job. Every few months it was something different. Money for this or that, a connection to whatever dope or pills she was pushing, or help to pay a lawyer to get her out of some shit she shouldn't’ have been in. Now for the first time I helped her and I actually needed her to help me in return.