by Mz. Toni
“Do we have to go to daddy's house mom?” Zahniyah said with her sassy ass.
“We hate going there, can't we just stay home?” Rayshaun asked, co-signing.
“Yes, all y’all asses have to go!” I said.
“Man, this some BS!” Rayshaun said storming out.
“Get ya ass back in here!” my voice boomed through my home. With his head down Rayshaun brought his little ass back in front of me.
“I don't know what your problem is, but you need to fix it ASAP! Since when you start using that language?”
“I didn't even curse, I used abbreviations.”
“I could give several fucks on how you said it, Shaun. I would hate to slap your little ass so tell me what the problem is?” I said getting a headache.
“Nothing, dang man!” he said with an attitude. I had to laugh to keep myself from slapping his ass. I swear, these kids were getting older and I was getting grayer. They drove me fucking crazy.
“Ma, he just mad because Dad had this chick over there last time we went,” Zahniyah said with her grown ass.
“Okay. So are you upset because you thought me and your father were getting back together?” I asked.
I talked to their guidance counselor and she said that typically the kids keep hope alive waiting for the parents to get back together, and when they realize it’s not happening they act out.
“Hell naw!” R.J. said cutting in.
“What the hell is up with y’all mouths today?” I said pissed. They had seriously been acting out and I wasn't sure why, but if it continued I was slapping the shit out of one of them.
“My bad, but we just feel like dad has someone now and you don't. When we go to his house you're by ya self. He don't need us there every weekend anymore now that he got her so we don't want to go,” R.J. said breaking shit down.
“Look, I’m not alone when y'all leave. I’m getting my hair and nails done then I'm going out with Auntie Camille and Quesha later on tonight,” I said.
“Have you talked to Aunt Shante?” R.J. asked. He’s been asking every single day for months if I’d heard from her.
“No, not today baby.”
“Okay,” he said sadly.
“You gonna be turnt up tonight!” my grown ass daughter had the nerve to say.
“Girl, please have a seat!” I said, massaging my temples with my finger. These kids were stressing me out.
“I’m sorry Mommy, I won’t use abbreviations anymore. I didn't think it was that bad,” Rayshaun said honestly.
“Well, it's bad when you use it while talking to me or any other adult and I don't like it,” I said letting him know this shit wouldn’t fly.
We talked for a few more minutes before Raymond Sr. knocked on the door for the kids. I hated that he felt the need to get out the car. I don't understand why he couldn’t just beep the horn and wait for them in the car.
“What’s up, y'all?” Raymond Sr. asked the kids while taking Zahniyah’s bag for her.
“Hey, Dad,” they all said at once.
“You looking good, Shana!” he said, just like he always did. Ever since I cut my hair I’ve been feeling like a new person and I refused to let Raymond fuck it up.
“Thank you, Raymond,” I said dryly.
“Can we speak in the other room?” he asked, shocking me. He hadn't been trying to get me back lately. I guess he got tired of getting shot down for the past two years, but I wasn't sure what was so important that he had to speak to me in private.
“Okay, come to the den,” I said walking ahead of him.
“Got damn, that ass looking right!” he said biting his lip.
“Raymond, I’m sure you didn't ask to speak to me so you could tell me that,” I said with my hands on my hips.
“You're right, my bad. I know the kids are out of school so I wanted to know if I could keep them for the summer?”
“I don't mind, but it's up to them if they want to go.”
“A’ight, I’ll ask them over the weekend.”
“Okay, well it's cool with me.”
“Thanks, and again, you're looking really good. I know you're still mad at me, but when you're ready to come home to daddy I’ll be here.”
“How’s my niece?”
“She’s good. You really can't get past this can you?”
“No, I can't. Every time I see my niece I see you and my sister fucking!”
“I’ma fix this, you just keep focused on work and our kids.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Ain't no fixing this, we divorced.”
“Come on, don't play stupid, Shana.”
“You know what, I don't even want to know what the hell you're talking about!” I said, taking my ass back into the living room with my babies.
“Alright guys, let’s go!” Raymond said with an obvious attitude. He's tripping big time, but oh well.
The kids looked at him like he was crazy. Zahniyah rolled her eyes and was the first to kiss my cheek. Rayshaun followed suit kissing my forehead. When I looked up at R.J. he was still mean mugging his father. I swear, these boys would give their lives for me when their daddy couldn't even give me his loyalty.
“Where my kiss?” I said to R.J., breaking the stare just like I knew he would. He walked over to me.
“I can't stand him,” he whispered in my ear.
“I know baby, but I know you want to see your sister right?” I said, talking about Destiny, my sister’s daughter.
“Yeah, that's the only reason we go!” he said loudly. I cut my eyes at him. This boy could be so rude and he knows I raised him better than that. Right, wrong or indifferent, that's his father and he needs to show him respect.
“My bad,” he said, kissing my forehead.
“It’s okay, y’all have fun with y’all father and be good.”
“We will!” they all said in unison.
“I love you, my babies,” I said to them.
“Past the moon and the stars?” Raymond Jr. asked.
“Past the planets and the sun?” Rayshaun asked.
“Wrapped around everything times twenty million bazillion times infinity?” Zahniyah asked.
“Yes, that's how much I love my babies!” I said smiling as they walked out the door.
****
Today I was going out with the girls, but it still felt weird as hell not having Shante around. Quesha moved out around two months ago and now has her son back. I'm so proud of her and her accomplishments. She and Chris are doing great and they are still in love.
We were going to this club we’ve never been to and I was excited, I needed the girls’ night out. I missed my bitches. I remembered that I had to call Camille to confirm our plans for tonight so I shot them a group text and waited for a response.
Me: What time are we going?
Cammy: I don't know exactly where this club is so let’s leave around 11:00 p.m.
Quesha: That sounds good
Me: I got some tea for y’all hoes to sip!
Cammy: Oh shit! What, u got some dick?
Quesha: Now you know she ain't got no dick!
Me: Fuck y’all bitches I will tell y’all later.
Cammy: Has anyone heard from Shante?
Me: No. I call everyday and she doesn't answer.
Cammy: I'm not feeling this shit. I say we go look for her!
Quesha: I agree
Shana: Where do we even start.
Cammy: Carlos’ side!
Shana: I didn't think about that….
Quesha: A’ight, my man just walked in. Bye!
I was so excited to be hanging with my girls. Over the years our bond has grown to be something special. I can't believe I went so long without having Quesha in my life. After only knowing Camille for three years, I can't imagine my life without her.
I hopped in the shower and lathered my body up with Taylor Swift’s, Wonder struck body gel. My mind couldn't help but wonder to the sexy thugged out man I’d seen a while back,I’ve bee
n thinking about him alot. He was so damn rude, but sexy as hell and I saw a softer side to him while he interacted with his daughter. I wasn't sure whether I would call him or not and now I can't at all since my dumb ass gave Angel my phone with his number in it. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, but he was definitely eye candy and there was no harm in at least thinking about his fine ass.
As I washed, my hands roamed over my tight, petite body. Just thinking about him turned me all the way on. Grabbing a breast, I gently squeezed my nipple, playing with it until it was rock hard. As the water cascaded down my body, I stuck my index finger into my honey pot, slowly moving in and out until I found my spot. Closing my eyes tight, I imagined what his dick looked and felt like going in and out of me. Before I knew it, I was squirting all over my hand. I felt the gush and instantly became embarrassed. I needed to get some dick before I became my own damn boyfriend.
After getting out of the shower, I lotined and sprayed my body with Wonder struck by Taylor Swift and got dressed for tonight. The weather was beautiful so I wore a cute, tight fitted off the shoulder dress and some black pumps. I had a deep wave Brazilian weave in my head that had me feeling like a different person. This was a first for me because I’ve always been the natural type, but I wanted to try something new and different and I loved it. I grabbed my keys and headed out to meet up with Camille and Quesha.
****
“Hey sis!” Quesha yelled hugging me and kissing my cheek.
“What's up, boo?” I said, grabbing my seat.
“Same shit, different toilet,” she said as we walked into Applebee’s.
“Where is Camille ass?” I said.
“She’s always late!” Quesha said laughing.
“Well, I got something to tell y’all.”
“Oh shit! Wait until Cammy comes so you don't have to spill the tea twice,” she said laughing.
Five minutes later Camille walked to our table looking like a million bucks. She had a glow on her face that had me type jealous.
“Hey bitches!”
“Hey Cam. Damn bitch, what, you just got some?” I asked sounding salty.
“Don't hate bitch, but for your info I’m getting some of that good-good twice, maybe three times a day!” she said rubbing salt in our wounds.
I didn't have a man to have sex with. Quesha had a man, but having HIV had her petrified of having any kind of sex with Chris out of fear she would pass it to him.
“Must be nice,” Quesha said sadly.
“Oh y’all cut it the fuck out. Be happy for me, don't hate!” Cammy said happily.
“My bad girl, I am happy for you!”
“So am I,” I said.
“Thanks Boops!”
“Okay, now about that tea I had to spill. Before I say a word both of you have to promise not to get mad,” I said knowing how they could be.
“We promise!” they both said, a little too fast.
“Okay. Well, I was at the mall and I ran into someone we all can't stand. I saw Angel,” I blurted out quickly.
“And what did you do after you beat that bitch ass?” Camille asked heated.
“I didn't beat her ass.”
“Fuck you mean you didn't beat her ass? This bitch ruined ya family, ya marriage!” Quesha snapped just like I knew she would.
“Look, maybe a few years ago I would have beat the brakes off her, but I'm over the shit. I exchanged vows with the man I loved and he betrayed me. Men come and go, but blood is forever.”
“I understand what you're saying, but she betrayed you too. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water, but that ain't the case with her,” Camille said.
“Quesha, I gotta be honest. I saw her months ago, but you were going through so much I didn't want to tell you what happened.”
“Well damn, what happened?” Quesha asked. I explained the entire run in with them and to say they were shocked was an understatement.
“Well I say fuck it, you tried to help the lil thot and she ain't want it,” Camille said with a shrug.
“She’s right, you can't help nobody that don't want to be helped. I'm sure she knows something isn't right and maybe she just doesn't care,” Quesha said.
After a few more drinks, we headed out for the club. It was in Jersey so we didn't have too long of a drive. The club was packed when we pulled up and the line wrapped around the block. This shit was on the same status as Kasan’s club and we had never even heard of it.
“Oh hell no, I ain't waiting in no line!” Quesha’s complaining ass whined.
“Let me see what I can do,” Camille said smiling as she walked over to the bouncer. After laughing with the bouncer for about five minutes, we walked in the club and headed straight for the dance floor. They were playing my shit, T-Wayne’s, Nasty Freestyle. I wasn't much of a dancer like Camille and Shante, but I knew how to sway these hips.
First let me hop out the muthafuckin’ Porsche, Ion wanna hit that ass it don't sit like a horse, I be ballin’ on these niggas got me feelin’ like a sports, Yeah I got so much wood I could build me a fort.
We danced to two more songs and headed over to the bar. I swear this was one of the reasons I hated going out. Not only did we have to wait long as hell to even order our drinks, but they cost an arm and a leg and were probably watered down. I didn't have baller niggas like these bitches, I had to pay for my own shit so I was cautious with my money.
“Ma’am I was told to bring you and whoever else you came with up to V.I.P.," A waitress said from behind me.
Shit, I was hating because if we were at Palmers we'd be in V.I.P with a never ending supply of drinks turning up. While I stood impatiently waiting for my drinks, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Excuse me, did you hear me?" the waitress asked politely.
"I didn't know you were talking to me, but there must be some kind of mistake."
"No, trust me, there isn't a mistake," the fine stranger from the salon said looking totally different from when I first met him.
"What, are you stalking me?" I asked jokingly.
"Naw, I was in my office and I saw you on my surveillance camera."
"Oh okay, well thank you for the offer, but I would have to check with my sisters first," I said.
"You good," he said pulling his dreads up into a ponytail. Damn, this nigga was fine as hell. He was looking tasty in his Hugo Boss suit. When I met him several months back he looked like a thug and I was secretly turned on. Now here he was looking like a gentleman and my panties were still dripping. The best of both worlds.
After finding Camille and Quesha, they both agreed they would go to V.I.P with me and I was excited to be spending time with this sexy man that confused me. We were having a good time drinking, dancing and just letting our hair down.
“So, tell me about yourself.”
“Well, my name is Shana, I’m 36, I have three children and I own a publishing company.” I smiled proudly at two of my biggest accomplishments.
“My name is Terrence, I’m 37, and I have a nine-year-old daughter whom you already got the pleasure of meeting. She is my world,” he boasted.
“What do you do for a living?” I asked him.
“I used to be a gangsta, but I’m a changed man.”
I started to laugh at his answer until I looked and saw the seriousness in his eyes. “Okay, well what do you do now?”
“I dabble in many things, my newest baby being this club,” he said surprising the hell out of me.
“Well, congratulations!” I said, excited for him.
“Thanks, beautiful. Do you know that you’ve known me for not even twenty-four hours and you're the first female to congratulate me on my club?”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Because you're the only one that knows I own it,” he replied laughing.
“Oh, aren't you the modest type. Most men would welcome the attention,” I said, truly intrigued by this strange man.
“Naw, I used to be that way but I've grown. Let the young niggas
have that shit.”
“True. Well, I should get going, it's late and I gotta get them home before their dudes snap,” I said laughing and turned to walk away. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.
“And who are you going home to?” he asked sexily. He smelled so damn good. Damn, I don't know whether it's that I haven't had any in so long or if he is just that fucking sexy.
“I'm not going home to anyone. What Nicki say, I'm feelin’ myself jack rabbit,” I said laughing, but still not hiding the pain I felt.
“That nigga really hurt you didn't he?”
“Yeah he did, but I’m over it.”
"You sure you over it?"
"Maybe not fully, but I'm getting there," I said with a smile.
“Well, then come home with me,” he said boldly.
“I don't even know you, Terrence,” I said, putting my head down. I was just nervous as hell. I wasn't sure how I would act if I was around him alone.
“Come on Ma, we both grown,” he said smiling.
“Girl, if you don't stop playing and go home with that man!” Quesha’s nosey ass blurted out. I don't even know where she came from, but I couldn't help but laugh. My best friend has really gone back to being her old self and I'm so happy.
“But I have to make sure y’all get home safe,” I said, trying to come up with any excuse.
“You must not know who her man is. Trust me, we good in this city with Chris’ crazy ass as her man! Chris will burn this city down if something happens to his precious Quesha,” Camille said laughing.
“Come on Terrence, let these nosey bitches get themselves home, I’m going with you!” I said surprising myself.
“Well, fuck you too! I hope you get some dick with ya nasty ass attitude!” Camille said giving me the finger while walking away. I swear, sometimes I couldn't stand her ass. She was Shante’s friend and I haven't gotten use to her smart ass mouth yet.
“I'm glad you changed your mind. Let me lock up my office then we can leave,” he said trying to hold back his laughter.
