by Mz. Toni
“I have no choice but to be ready because he’s coming whether I'm ready or not.”
“You sure you don't want a baby shower?”
“Hell naw, I heard about Mega and Cherish’s baby shower.”
“Yoooo, that shit was crazy!” he laughed.
“Hell yeah, then I beat Kiesha’s ass at Cam’s baby shower,” she said laughing.
“I forgot about that.”
“Yeah, I ain't feeling a baby shower,” she said before leaning her head back and closing her eyes. When she fell asleep I grabbed a blanket, covered her up and got ready to leave.
If I couldn't have her as my wife, then I wouldn’t continue to play these games and push her away. A nigga would be lying if I said I didn’t miss her friendship. Kissing her forehead, I headed out to meet Taylor for dinner.
I pulled up to Taylor’s apartment and hopped out. Being that I was a little early I walked in using the key she gave me. I didn’t smell shit cooking so I was confused.
“Yo, Taylor!” I screamed out.
“Oh my God, Kasan you're early,” she said with a towel wrapped around her body.
“I'm only a half hour early, why you ain't start cooking yet?.”
“ Uhhh, I was about to,” she stuttered.
“Why the fuck you acting weird? You invited me over,” I said looking around.
“I know, but I’m not ready,” she said. Before I could ask any more questions the doorbell rang.
“You expecting somebody?” I asked, giving her a suspicious stare.
“Uhhh no, but sit here and I’ll go get it,” she said.
“Naw I’ll get it, you ain't even dressed.”
“Damnit Kasan, I got it!” she snapped.
She was acting weird as hell, so ignoring her plea I made my way to her front door. With my hand on my gun I opened the door, but I wasn't expecting who I saw on the other side.
“Hello, you ordered, from Corrine’s, your total is 68.50,” the young girl said holding the bags of food. No this chick didn't invite me to dinner talking about a home cooked meal, but then had the nerve to order from Corrine’s soul food restaurant.
Pulling out a hundred-dollar bill, I gave it to the young girl and told her to keep the change. When I close the door I placed the bag in the kitchen and went in search for Taylor’s sneaky ass.
“Yo, why you try to trick me?” I asked her. As she stood in her bedroom getting dressed she wouldn't even look at me.
“Why you ignoring me, it ain't that serious!” I snapped.
“What the fuck Kasan, I can't cook, damn you happy now!”
“So why lie?” I asked her. I couldn't stand petty liars. If you would lie about something so small then you would lie about something huge.
“You always talking ‘bout how good Shante can cook. It’s always Shante this and Shante that, I just wanted you to see that I was a good catch too,” she said making me feel like shit.
“I ain't even notice that I always compared you to her, that’s my bad. You are a good catch and any man would be happy to have you.”
“I don't want any man, I want you.”
“And I want Shante, so what do we do? I feel like I need to let you go, this ain't fair to you.”
“Naw, I understand and you don't have to let me go. I guess we can have fun until she takes you back, and if she doesn't then we can see where we go,” she said.
When she finished getting dressed, we sat down to eat. I felt like shit for making this girl jump through hoops to compete with Shante, when in all actuality there was no competition that Shante didn't win hands down in my eyes.
After eating and busting her ass for a few hours, I headed home. As I walked up to my porch I saw a shadow so I pulled out my gun. When I stepped up to the person I wasn't expecting to see Kiesha standing there.
“It’s me Kasan, damn. Put the gun away,” she said scared.
“What the fuck is you doing here?” I snapped.
“I ran out of money,” she said with her head down.
“A’ight, so why you here?”
“I wanted to know if I could move back into the house.”
“Naw, I sold that shit, I bought that for Kassandra not you!”
“Where is she, is she safe?” she had the nerve to ask.
“Why the fuck you asking? Did you bother to call and make sure she was good when you dropped her off and left her at my door?” I yelled. This bitch was tripping.
“I don't want her, I just asked was she okay, Kasan.”
“You really ain't shit!”
“I need help.”
“Yeah you do, but I can't help you!”
“Please, Kasan!”
“Where you been at?”
“What you mean?”
“Why the fuck you playing dumb?”
“It’s a long story, can I come in or something?”
“Naw, you good right out here.”
“I left with her real father. He helped me move and I thought he wanted to be with me, but after a few weeks he lied and said I gave him a disease, which I know I didn't and he left me stranded.”
“I told ya ass you was burning, I could smell it,” I said with a smirk.
“Whatever nigga, is you gonna help me or not?”
“Or not!” I said before walking away and not looking back.
Chapter Nineteen (Angel)
I bet y'all thought I was gone for good, well so did I. When I met my nigga I thought he was the love of my life. I thought I had finally found someone to match my fly. When this nigga walked into a room he commanded and grabbed all the attention. I was in a bad space when I met him, hopping from couch to couch being pregnant with my second child by my sister’s husband. I could no longer make money because I was too far along and trust me, nobody wants a pregnant bitch dancing at their club. I was living with a bitch I used to dance with, but that didn't work out because I fucked her man.
When I met Major I was sitting at the bar pregnant as hell taking back shot after shot. He sat next to me and started talking shit about how I shouldn’t be drinking while pregnant.
“Yo, you can't be in here taking shots in ya condition, it's bad for business.”
“Who the fuck are you, the pregnancy police? Nigga, let me drink in peace!” I snapped, finally looking up at him. When I did I was taken aback by how handsome this old nigga was standing before me at 5’11 with a salt and pepper fade and a sexy goatee.
“Yo, watch ya fucking mouth, you too beautiful to be out here acting like this.”
“You really think I’m beautiful?” I asked.
“Hell yeah!”
“Well, thank you.”
“Where you live so I can take you home?” he asked.
“I don't need a ride.”
“A’ight, but you gone’ have to leave.”
“I ain't gotta go nowhere, who is you?” I snapped drunkenly.
“I'm the fucking owner, and a pregnant bitch taking back shots is bad for business.”
“I'm out!” I said before dropping a twenty and hopping off the bar stool. I heard him calling out to me, but I kept it moving. When I got to my car I felt his strong arms grab me.
“You ain't hear me calling you?” he said through gritted teeth. Moving me to the side he stared into my car and shook his head.
“What, you living in here or something?”
“I ain't got nowhere else to go.”
“You can come with me, but I'm telling you now all my girls work,” he said honestly.
“Work how?”
“They trick,” he said as if it was nothing.
“I ain't no hoe, nigga!”
“A’ight, well keep living in ya car,” he said turning to walk away.
After giving it a quick thought I rushed up to him and the rest was history.
Shortly after moving in with him I realized he sold me a dream. After a month of being with him, he introduced me to crack cocaine. I gave birth to my son and he came out addicted to cra
ck and was taken from me. In all honesty, I didn’t care, I only kept him to trick Mark and when that didn't work, I had no use for him.
When I started fucking niggas for money they all had weird pregnancy fetishes. They wanted to taste my breast milk, some even had me nurse them like babies, so I guess my bastard son was good for something.
When I went to my six-week check-up, well actually four month check up since going to the doctors was the last thing on my mind, the nurse told me in the nicest way possible that I was HIV positive. Was I upset? Yes! Did I feel like I deserved it? Hell no! I know people think I’m fucked up for fucking up so many lives, but my shit has been fucked up since birth so motherfuckers will feel my wrath.
“Where the fuck you been, bitch!” Major yelled as I walked into our apartment.
He owned a huge apartment building kind of like Nino off of “New Jack City”. I was his bottom bitch and honestly, any bitch that wanted it could have this title because all he did was take my money and beat my ass every chance he got.
“I was working, Major. Damn, don't start,” I said, mentally tired of him and his shit.
“Bitch, who is you talking to?”
“I'm talking to you. I'm so tired of this shit. What you gonna do, hit me again? Well shit, I'm used to it now!”
“Just shut the fuck up and run me my money!” he said.
I reached into my purse and pulled out three thousand dollars and handed it to him. I could care less about handing him over that money because tonight I was hitting a new club and making that back in one night.
“See, that’s why you my bottom bitch,” he said while counting the money.
“You got a hit?” I asked. It had been a couple hours since I got to smoke and I was ready. As soon as he handed me a few rocks, I pulled out my pipe and lighter and let that shit take me to another world.
Later on that night I got dressed and got ready to hit the club with a couple of hoes that worked for Major.
“Bitch, I heard all the ballers be in here!” Candy said.
“Well, I heard the nigga that own it got mad bread!” Kelly screamed.
“I wish both y'all shut the fuck up!” I snapped. Sometimes I didn't know why I hung with these bitches, but then I remember they the only friends I got.
When we pulled up to the club it was packed, and like always me and my bitches got in without having to wait in a long ass line because we were just that fucking bad. When I first found out I was sick I stopped taking care of myself, but once I filled my prescription and took the meds I was right back to my sexy self.
Scanning the club, I was getting pissed off. All these niggas were broke as hell. Locking eyes with a sexy, swagged out nigga I waited for him to approach me.
“What’s up beautiful, can I buy you a drink?” he asked.
“You sure can,” I said with a smile. After he bought me drink after drink I pretended that it had gotten way too late and I needed to go.
“Oh shit, I gotta go!” I screamed staring at my watch.
“Damn, I thought we could spend a little more time together.”
“Honestly, I wanna fuck ya brains out, but my stupid ass man ain't gonna let me come in later than midnight without some money to give him,” I said putting my head down like I was embarrassed.
“Damn, he got you doing that?”
“Yeah, he forces me,” I said faking tears.
He went into his pocket and pulled out twelve hundred dollars and handed it to me. We were headed to his car when I ran into the last group of bitches I wanted to see.
“Angel?” Shana said confused. Trying to ignore her, I walked with the stranger faster. I didn't need this bitch fucking my shit up.
“Angel!” she screamed and grabbed my arm. Yanking it away, I looked at this bitch with hate.
“Yo, what’s good Shana?” the stranger said hugging my sister.
“Hey, Mello. How you doing sweetie?”
“I'm good,” he said with a big smile.
“A’ight, well let me steal her from you for a minute.”
“Damn, what you want!” I snapped.
“Can I talk to you over here?” she asked. Walking away from the dude, I stood in front of Shana and waited for her to speak.
“Are you crazy, why the fuck you leaving with niggas?” Angel snapped.
“Bitch, what you mean why? This nigga paid to get laid!”
“You shouldn't be fucking nobody with your condition.”
“Mind ya business, you think the nigga that gave it to me ain't out fucking bitches raw?”
“So, because he is you're gonna do the same? You sound stupid as shit, I know that dude and he doesn't deserve that,” she snapped.
“Bitch, fuck you. If I don't go back with some money my nigga gone’ kill me!” I screamed.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone in the loud ass club and spoke a few words before hanging up. A few minutes later, one of the sexiest men I have ever seen walked in. Not on some Young Thug gangster shit, but on some O.G shit. This man was fine.
He walked up to Shana, kissed her cheek and handed her four stacks before turning around and walking away.
“Damn, who that?”
“Bitch, you can try it if you want!” she said through gritted teeth. With a smirk I grabbed the money and walked back up to the dude. If she thought I was turning down the money she had me fucked up. We were almost out the door when Shana grabbed my new friend’s shirt and pulled him back.
“This bitch is HIV positive and she tryna kill you nigga!” Shana screamed so loud a few people stopped to watch.
“You fucking bitch!” the dude said grabbing my neck.
“Mello, let her go!” I heard Shana scream. When he dropped me I looked at my sister and if looks could kill she would be dead.
While I watched everyone point at me and whisper, I hauled ass out of the club. This bitch wanted to stop my shine and fuck up my money. I had to get it some other way and being the grimey bitch I am, I had the perfect plan.
Chapter Twenty (Shana)
I can't believe this bitch still tried to leave with that boy even after I gave her money. That just goes to show what kind of person she is and why I can't fuck with her, sister or not.
“You good?” Terrence asked me while he drove us home.
“Yeah, I guess so. Thank you for giving me the money without asking questions.”
“You don't ask for shit, so when you do ask just know you got it.”
“That was my sister, Angel. I actually ran into her the day I met you.”
“Wait, the sister that slept with your ex-husband?”
“Yeah, that was her.”
“So why the fuck did you give that girl money!”
“If you shut up and let me finish you’d know!”
“My bad, beautiful.”
“When I saw her a while ago she looked bad, she looked sick and she was messing around with the same nigga that gave Queesha AIDS. When I saw her tonight she had Mello right where she wanted him and they were about to leave. That boy just got accepted into college, he is a good dude, so I gave her the money hoping she would leave him alone. She still tried to leave with him. How fucked up do you have to be to go around spreading HIV to niggas that did nothing to you? I can’t believe her trifling ass!”
“I’ma go through the security footage and give my bouncer her picture, she isn't welcome in my club,” he said seriously.
We talked until we pulled up to the house. When we walked inside I felt relaxed and at home. When I first moved in with him I felt weird because he had pictures all around the house of him and his ex-wife. I was happy when he boxed them up. I didn't like feeling as if I was a mistress cheating with a dead woman's husband. I still don't know what she looks like because every time I see a picture I quickly look away. I wanted a new start without so much baggage.
When I woke up Terrence was already gone and had even dropped the kids off at school while I slept. Getting up to start my day,
I cleaned and put some of my stuff away. Something that was supposed to be short-term turned into something long-term. I keep bringing more and more things into his house and coming up with excuses as to why I'm bringing the shit here, but Terrence never complains and he wants me here just as much as I want to be here.
I grabbed my sewing machine from off the desk to carry it up to the attic only to receive the shock of a lifetime. He had the entire attic covered in pictures of his wife, along with a bed and an armoire. I opened up the armoire and found all of his wife's clothes hung neatly in the closet. The attic looked like he recreated a living space that he could share with just himself and her, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't creeped out.
I grabbed my sewing machine and took my ass back downstairs. A part of me wanted to be mad, but honestly I didn’t know how I would react if I lost someone that meant so much to me. Would I be normal or would I bounce back? Instead of confronting him and making a big thing out of what I saw, I left it alone and kept it to myself. When he came home later on that night he seemed happy and excited and I wasn't sure why.
“Hey, beautiful!”
“Hey Terrence, how was your day?”
“It was great. While I was at the club one of my favorite jewelers came in and I felt like that was a sign.”
“A sign for what?”
“You’ll see!”
“Ms. Shana, R.J. won't share the game!” his daughter screamed running into the room.
“Alright Chanelle, tell him I said to come here!”
“Look, we’ll talk about this later,” I said to Terrence while shaking my head. I prayed this man didn't think I was accepting some out of the blue proposal because if he did he was sadly mistaken. I forgave him for the shit he said at the club, but I didn't forget. There was no way I would jump into a marriage with a man who I wasn't even sure was over his ex.
Later that night as we lay in bed, I couldn't get over the feeling that he was about to propose soon.
“Terrence, you know how much I love you right?” I asked.
“Yes, and you know how much I love and adore you right?” he asked.
“Yes, but I need you to tell me if you're proposing,” I said honestly.
