Shattering Halos

by Sunniva Dee

  At the bottom of the stairs, he bounced off and caught up with me much too fast. He breathed playfully down my neck making me shriek with the adrenaline rush of knowing I couldn’t escape.

  The easy laughter in my ear left me winded. He picked me up and whirled me around. The rotations slowed and stopped, and he stared at me. Gabriel searched my face starting with my eyes, until dilated pupils rested on my mouth.

  His lips were cautious when they found mine, sweeping over them before covering them. His tongue stroked mine so softly, as if he hadn’t just kissed me five minutes ago.

  My heart wanted to burst free. So what if everybody had full view of us making out like middle-schoolers? At the moment, I didn’t give a damn.

  I waited while he disappeared to get the car. From behind the curtains on the fifth floor, some of the girls smiled and waved. Others just stared.

  A minute later, he pulled up in the GT2 with its top down, hopped out, and picked me up. He never broke the kiss as he lowered me into the passenger seat; I couldn’t help picturing myself in an eternal state of shocked bliss.

  Something’s bound to happen. Nothing is this easy.

  After he strapped me in and triple-checked the seatbelt, we peeled out of the parking lot.

  “Can we do the tough part first?”

  “Anything you want, Gaia. I’m not denying you anything anymore!”

  I loved how happy he sounded. With the wind ruffling my hair into a tangled mess, I cozied up against the warmth of him.

  “Can we go to Marina’s? She’ll kill us both, for sure, but I want her to know.”

  Smiling, he gave me a quick peck on the cheek before focusing back on the road. “No reason not to get annihilated. Let’s do this.”

  What I most remember of the best day of my life is how laughter, kisses, and embraces abounded. I had everything I wanted, and nothing else mattered.

  ****

  Marina buzzed us into the building. I watched the doorknob to her room twist, and the door pushed out, concealing Gabriel behind it. I smirked to myself.

  “Hey, so you didn’t feel like raking through your hair today?” She cocked her hip, giving me a stern onceover.

  Right. My crow’s nest.

  “You need a brush, Gaia. Bad.” She swatted for me to enter but stopped abruptly. “What’s going on? You look funny.”

  “Yeah?” I fought the grin that threatened to explode over my face.

  “Yep, you’re all smug and shit. What’s with the rosy cheeks and the, um, bright puppy-eyes?” She frowned, studying me closer. “Makeup, skinny-jeans, and your favorite white sweater. Check-check-check. What’re you hiding?”

  “Who me? Not much.” I giggled and leaned against the doorjamb, enjoying her confusion.

  “Uh-huh,” she puffed, crossing her arms. “Sundays are laze-around days for you, Gaia, so it’s the wrong day to—”

  “But it’s a gorgeous day!”

  Her glare drifted down my arm, which had Gabriel yanking playfully at it. Marina’s forehead cinched into a frown. “I saw that, Gaia—you’re hiding something. No. Someone!”

  Suddenly, Marina’s expression changed. Understanding slowly seeped into her eyes, and she looked…

  Super-pleased. Oh, no—why?

  “Lucio, is that you back there?”

  Marina’s mouth formed more questions, tons of happy questions ready to burst free. I cringed. I wished she didn’t jump to conclusions so fast.

  My sweetheart saved us from embarrassment at the last moment. Emerging from behind me, his presence sucked the breath out of my friend.

  “Good morning, Marina,” he said, voice soft.

  I couldn’t help beaming up at Gabriel. Quiet happiness exuded from him, and despite the lack of shimmer, he was stunningly beautiful. Gabriel’s irises sparkled as they locked on Marina through a loop of golden hair.

  “Oh,” she gasped.

  I cleared my throat for her to stop gaping. Marina didn’t take the hint. Instead, she examined him with a lot more appreciation than she had a minute ago with me.

  Well, then.

  Does this mean I’m not in for a lecture?

  “Uh, faded jeans and a white button-up shirt again? Clearly, angels don’t have much of a wardrobe.” Her awed tone ruined the barb effect.

  “Just play nice,” I said.

  Either Marina wasn’t hearing me, or her thought-to-mouth filter had worn off overnight. “Are you guys done playing hide and seek?”

  Gabriel caught on before I did. A slow smile transformed his features when he brought an arm around my back. Pulling me against his hip, he rested his chin on my head.

  “Yes. We’re done with the games.”

  ****

  I’d unconsciously asked for Marina’s blessing when I’d come here with Gabriel. In the car, we’d discussed how much to tell her. Snuggled into him on her makeshift couch, sharing the latest with my best friend filled me with relief.

  I told Marina how the Heavens didn’t look kindly upon angels and humans suffering because of each other. Then, I told her about Cassiel and his unpredictability—without revealing that he was a Fallen.

  I shared how worried Cassiel had been about Gabriel’s wellbeing but said nothing about the seduction and his role in my attempted suicide. By the time I got to where I “inadvertently fell off” Cassiel’s terrace and Gabriel saved me, her jaw slackened.

  “Okay, so do you remember when you slapped me in the face at Angel Oaks, Gaia?”

  “Hmm, what?” I widened my eyes into big, innocent ovals.

  She smacked my arm. “Anyways. This comes a little late, but for what it’s worth: I’m super-sorry, guys.”

  Oh, Marina—the only person who knew who Gabriel really was—could she ever grasp what her support meant to me? Her apology obliterated the last scrap of bitterness I had over the past.

  We didn’t stay long at Marina’s since Operation Seize the Day needed to commence. Before leaving, we agreed to meet up for dinner at Johnny O’s Monday night.

  “It’s time you introduce him to the Spring Hills gang.” Marina squeezed me and pointed at Gabriel as if he couldn’t hear us. He smirked back at her.

  “Yeah, I’d love to. It’ll be awkward, though, with Lucio,” I said. Gabriel’s eyes sparked once and dimmed. Tipping his head up, he gazed down at me, stone-faced. I suddenly remembered one of Cassiel’s comments; when Lucio kissed me at the movies, my angel hadn’t taken it well.

  Marina raised one shoulder in a shrug. “I’ll talk with him.”

  Chapter 18 — Seize the Day

  Gaia

  Ever since I saw Gabriel at the site of the accident, I’d wanted to be with him. Now, my dream had come true; the urge to pinch myself was overwhelming.

  Gabriel took me to the beach first. He interlaced our fingers, and there we were, wading through icy winter waves with our pant legs scrunched up, like a regular couple in love.

  A sharp rock brought me back to earth. “Ouch, stupid pebble! Damn things are sharp!” I wobbled on my feet, losing my balance, and Gabriel scooped me up. Holding me to him with one arm, he inspected my toes with the other. “Good thing it didn’t break the skin.”

  I giggled. “You ever heard of the concepts ‘weight’ and ‘gravity?’”

  A quick smile lit his face. “I know the words.” With a kiss, he set me down and began to walk again.

  My heart went jackhammer-crazy when he pressed me into a sideways hug that messed up our walking pattern. He buried his nose in my hair, and I turned into his embrace.

  Can time stop now, please?

  Smooth lips slid against mine. Sucking lightly on my lower lip, he let out the sexiest little moan when I opened to meet his tongue.

  “Hey! You kids about ready to freeze to death out there, or what?”

  An old man with a batch of fishing rods screamed to us from inside his warm rubber boots. My laughter bubbled out effortlessly, and the fisherman shook his head.

  He huffed to himself a
s he grabbed his cooler. “Kids nowadays think they’re invincible. Don’t know nothin’ ’bout no pneumonia…”

  Gabriel’s gaze was tender when it met mine.

  “Sunshine, he’s right—you’re freezing.”

  Before I could reply, he picked me up and didn’t put me down until we got to our towel. Placing himself in front of me Indian-style, he pulled my feet into his lap. Warm hands infused them with heat.

  His fingers moved up my calves, causing my breath to catch. Gabriel’s stare immediately snapped to mine. Shades of blue danced in his eyes, glittering and darkening from the familiar aqua to the deepest of azure before shifting back.

  My throat worked around a lump of doubt I tried to breathe through.

  How can he love me? I’m just…me!

  My calves lost the warmth of his touch as he leaned forward. Tracing my jaw first, his palm settled over my vocal chords as if I’d spoken.

  “Don’t,” he whispered. “Just don’t.” And for the first time I knew with certainty that Gabriel had read my mind.

  We fed breadcrumbs to the seagulls as if they were ducks. We built a sandcastle of such ghastly quality that a toddler could have done a better job.

  A squabble over a hideous balcony ended with hard-core sand tumbling. When I applied my newly acquired tickling skills, Gabriel lost control and rolled us over the creation. Nothing could dampen our euphoric mood.

  The smashed sandcastle turned out to be the perfect pillow. It absorbed our moves as we sank into a slow embrace. Over and over again, I stroked his face.

  “Why can’t I look away from you?” I asked.

  “Because it’s been so long,” he replied, simply.

  Hours passed, and I memorized every feature and read every expression. I’d never get tired of lying in his arms. “Your eyes are like quicksand to me—I’m drowning!” I joked, and he shut them to kiss me more.

  “Mommy, they ruined it!”

  A child’s voice reached us from a distance. By the staccato vibrations of her timbre, she must be running in our direction. The mother sounded further away.

  “Anna, come here immediately. Leave them alone.”

  “But it’s a sandcastle!”

  Out of nowhere, the curly head of a tiny girl hovered a foot over ours. Her forehead had a hard time forming the puckered brow she was going for.

  “Anna Melissa Payne. Listen up young lady, or else!”

  She leaned in much closer and shouted her reply as loudly as she could without turning away from us.

  “Mommy, they’re sleeping on it!”

  Gabriel’s stomach quivered in suppressed laughter under my elbow, and I peered up into her frown.

  “Hi, Anna Melissa Payne.”

  “Hi, pretty lady.” She nodded, still scanning the ruins surrounding us.

  “We didn’t mean to destroy it, Anna,” Gabriel explained. “We fell, and the castle broke.”

  “Chop chop, Anna, or we’re not making tacos tonight.”

  She started to bounce in place, nervous. Her gaze flickered in her mother’s direction, and a concerned expression crossed her little face. As she ran back, she yelled behind her at the top of her lungs.

  “Bye, lady! Bye, angel-man!”

  I shot up in a sitting position and stared down at Gabriel. He smiled back at me. “Children know.”

  When my stomach started growling, we went to Mom’s Pie House for a tasty, unhealthy meal. Gabriel’s obsession with banana cream pie was an absolute vision. Between approving smacks and way too delicious moans, he even put away the remainder of my piece after downing two enormous slices of his own. Now, he was busy washing it all down with his fourth mug of tea.

  “More to drink, darlin’?” I drawled, mimicking my grandma, and he looped his arms around me in the booth and drew me into him. His kisses tasted like banana, and I held back a too-private whimper.

  “Sure, I’ll have a sip of you,” he husked.

  Oh, my God—he’s sassy? My stomach did a flip.

  “Hot damn,” somebody muttered. With a side-glance, I caught two young waitresses frozen in front of us. Apparently, they were trying to eat my boyfriend. With their eyes.

  One of them held a tray that drooped dangerously toward the ground. I aimed at Gabriel’s ear. “Where did our nice, old waiter-dude go?”

  “Careful there—your tray is about to tip over,” Gabriel called out.

  Judging from the earsplitting bang, the tray was made of metal. Coffee and shattered china flew in all directions.

  “Our cue to leave, sunshine?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Welcome to my new life. Gabriel left the cash on the table, and we took off without waiting for change.

  The forest beyond the Shades Run mountain chain was absurdly lush. As we climbed out of the car, Gabriel showed me the mountaintop where he’d had “a chat” with Cassiel after he supposedly mauled me at the bar.

  Deer grazed between the trees, and a rabbit hopped past us as we scaled the incline. The forest emitted a delicious potpourri of moss, incense, and moist dirt.

  “Stay put, sunshine.”

  Exposing a hazelnut in his fist, he sank down under a tree. He crisscrossed his legs and let out a light whistle. A squirrel scurried down the trunk to sit at the edge of his knee. Gabriel held out the nut, and she rushed right up without hesitation.

  Suddenly, Gabriel pulled out all the stops. He exuded an angelic love so vibrant that I could only absorb a fraction of it. Almost jealous, I witnessed the squirrel lock eyes with him; she had no problem soaking up his entire, wordless message. Maybe she was like the child at the beach, so innocent that she could take in everything angelic?

  The sweetie reached out with miniature fingers and touched his thumb. For a moment she sat perfectly still, never breaking eye contact with Gabriel. Then she did a one-eighty in the air and leaped off.

  I sucked in a breath. “What was that? Why didn’t she take the nut?”

  “She just wanted to say ‘Hi,’ I think.” Gabriel smiled.

  His beautiful features shrunk into a frown. Without a word, he reached for me to join him. I slid down next to my angel and leaned into his embrace. His fingers combed through my hair, making my scalp tingle.

  “Gaia, my happiness is being with you, loving you, as long as I can. But I can’t promise what tomorrow will bring.”

  Yes! Ecstatic…Wait a minute.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Sunshine...” My gaze whipped up to him and found his eyes sealed shut and lips tightened into a line. I dove back against his neck.

  “Gabriel, tell me what’s going on.”

  “Maybe I could have planned this better, I don’t know.” His chest rose and fell in a sigh. “I’m going to tell you some things that might upset you, okay? I just want you to know that I’ve made my choice.”

  My breathing was growing shallow.

  “What is your choice?” My lungs needed more air, and I didn’t know if I wanted an answer. Gabriel’s lips moved against my hair, calming me before he replied.

  “I will be with you in all of your senses…while I can.”

  My stomach shifted. “So there’s a ‘but.’”

  Cupping the back of my head, he moved me out enough to meet my eyes. “I couldn’t tell you this morning after all you’d been through.”

  “Okay, well, tell me now! I’m dying here.”

  “I can’t predict what my Celestial punishment will be.”

  The dread finally crept in, and I flung my hands over my face. He wasn’t finished. Would the truth exist if I never heard it? One by one, Gabriel pried my fingers away.

  “I do need you to be prepared, sunshine. They can…” he searched for words I wouldn’t like, “…separate us at any moment.”

  “How? What would they do?”

  Why am I asking this?

  “It all depends on how much we’ve stirred the Heavens. They can banish me. Incarcerate me. Erasing me is another solution.”

>   He held me and said nothing more. Despite the sunshine, the terror chilled my marrow, and I considered how gullible I’d been only minutes earlier. He settled my racing heart with kisses and murmurs, but I still recognized the self-prophecy of my morning musings.

  My life had never been a constant. Something new was always on the horizon.

  Had I believed that Gabriel and I would be fine, that cheating death first once, then twice would be excused? Of course I didn’t deserve years of bliss and love!

  Gabriel was right. Whether our time together was a week, a day, or an hour, we had to claim it. We needed to seize the time that remained.

  What if I die tonight and never get to be with him—really be with him?

  I acted on impulse.

  “Gabriel.” Tears made my vision blurry.

  “Yes, my sun?”

  “Please make love to me.”

  Gabriel had nature in his hand. When the silence stretched, it incorporated every leaf, every animal, the breeze, and the clouds. Nothing moved. His hands froze on my body, and I felt so small I wanted to burrow under a rock.

  I didn’t regret the words, but my thoughts strayed to old-world fairytales Mom used to read for me. In them, spoiled maidens asked for the sun and the moon from their magical lover, only to wreak havoc on their perfect existence when he consented.

  I waited with my eyelids crushed shut, and Gabriel finally broke the silence. “That I will not do to you.”

  A disheartened exhale shot out of me, but he continued, a finger tracing the bridge of my nose.

  “I’m an angel, and you’re a human. We were never supposed to be together in this way. Much less were we created to melt into one. Please, trust me in this. Your happiness and wellbeing is everything to me. In every other way, I will show you that I love you.”

  “No, you lied to me.”

  Wow, where did that come from?

  “Excuse me?”

  His dazzling features altered into a surprised frown.

  “This morning you said you weren’t going to deny me anything anymore. Should you be breaking any more Heavenly Rules?”

  Okay, I officially kick butt.

  “That’s not what I meant…”

  “Why did you say it, then? Don’t you want me?”