Shattering Halos

by Sunniva Dee

  One more night, please.

  “Yes, we can! Fess up, Gabriel—you liked it too.”

  For a second, his eyes squinted in pleasure. With lips puckered as if savoring something tasty, he purred, “Mmhmm…”

  My laughter came out winded.

  “Gaia. One last thing. This is his idea, but I couldn’t come up with a better plan for him to earn Ramiel’s trust after he rejected the initial invitation.” Gabriel’s eyelids wrinkled shut at his own words.

  “Cassiel will have to appear as if he’s pursuing you.” His sudden growl made my lips vibrate when he took them in a different, rougher sort of kiss.

  “It’s killing me, but I’ve got no other option. Since I need to be gone whenever he’s near you, I can’t even protect you from him! If he ever as much as ruffles a hair on your head…” His arms tensed around me in an unspoken pledge of revenge.

  “Hush, Gabriel. I’ll be fine. Remember, I’ve fended him off before.”

  I tried to kiss away his glowering expression and ignored his muttered one-word answer: “Barely.”

  ****

  Against Gabriel’s better judgment, we returned to Shimmer’s Edge before his absence with no timeframe. We both craved complete intimacy. These hours might be all that remained for us.

  The flight to the lighthouse occurred after sundown. Its friendly, flickering windows greeted us as we landed on the balcony, and a new, darker Gabriel almost shoved me in through the door.

  My chest heaved with an eager trepidation he didn’t take the time to consider. No smile graced his face when he peeled my clothes off in an impossible blur, making me question whether I’d ever really worn any.

  His arms twisted around me, morphing my breathing into erratic gasps. At the speed of light, he scooped me up, dismissing the pretense of gravity. When I opened my eyes, we were floating above the center of the bed.

  The mist of the waterfall enveloped us as we drifted over it. My angel’s eyes stormed thick with the darkest of green, and I shivered with impatience. With every inch of my skin sensitive and accessible, Gabriel didn’t just kiss me, lick me. No, he devoured me and made me scream long before he filled my body.

  I saw the hunger, his fight to be good; the struggle to ask instead of taking what he wanted. Gabriel’s eyelids crumpled shut.

  “Are…you…ready,” he managed, grinding the words out one by one. He didn’t sound sweet or tender, and it wasn’t a question.

  Gabriel wasn’t waiting for my assent. Instead, he unleashed himself. And held nothing back.

  ****

  I should have noticed when he dressed me and flew me home. I should have woken up on a Tuesday morning, but my eyes opened on a Wednesday night. All I recalled was the ruthless ecstasy and how it never diminished from the minute he entered me. Gabriel hadn’t reined in his need.

  My overall state of pain suggested that I’d been beaten, not made love to. Just to get out of bed and to the bathroom seemed an insurmountable obstacle. Gabriel was gone, but a letter from him stood on the night table.

  Sunshine of my existence.

  This time was too much. Thinking you were the only one capable of losing control was a grave mistake. I am stunned that I could not stop. When I told you that an angel should never make love to a mortal, I meant it. I love you more than you can ever comprehend, but I am left wishing I had not started this with you.

  I wanted to be with you when your eyes opened, but wishes don’t always come true. Time is running out, and I am leaving in hopes of saving some remnant of a future.

  Still, know that my sister will look after you while I am gone. She will be of comfort, give you harmony, show you how all is beautiful no matter the circumstances, no matter the mood. Her name is Yofiel, the Angel of Beauty. Wherever I am, in my heart I’m always with you.

  Gabriel

  I was sick to my stomach, sick from his absence, from the lack of food, and from the abuse of my body. I didn’t know how to cope. I called Marina, hoping she could help.

  “Marina…”

  My sigh of relief when she picked up alarmed her.

  “Gaia! Are you okay?”

  “Mm, not really.”

  “What’s going on? Tell me!”

  “Are you done with classes for the day? I need some food, I think.” My brain pounded against my skull.

  “What? Are you sick?”

  “God, maybe I am. I feel like I’ve been beaten with a sledgehammer.”

  “Well, have you? Is he treating you all right, Gaia? Be honest with me.”

  My laughter sounded exhausted even to me.

  “No, I mean, yes. Just tired. I might have OD’d on him a little bit. And I haven’t eaten in a while…”

  “Wow, you’re freaking out of your mind! Am I getting you right, here? You’ve been on a Gabriel-bender, and now you’re hung over? Dude’s so not looking after you. What kind of a guardian angel is he?”

  While Marina sputtered and seethed, I laughed that stupid, dog-tired laughter again.

  “Sorry, I know. Instead of protecting me, he’s humoring me.” My sigh morphed into a groan.

  “Geez, lady, I’m on my way. In-N-Out Burger? Animal Style? Fries and Coke?”

  “Please—you’re a lifesaver.”

  Chapter 22 — Timanfaya

  Cassiel

  Look at me go. Endangering my entire existence as a Fallen by agreeing to this bullshit. Pissed at Gabriel and annoyed as hell at myself, I wished I’d eradicated her when I had the chance. Instead, I stood at the top of the Timanfaya with at least thirty of Ramiel’s minions surrounding me.

  Damn Grigori. The reason why they needed Free Fallen Ones to do their dirty work was their incapability of going incognito. Because nature reacted to the purity of their evil, they couldn’t dim that pitch-black magnificence of theirs.

  Now I got to watch the lava sputter in small geysers from the ground as if the volcano hadn’t been dead for centuries. No need to be an angel to sense evil that concentrated.

  I snorted as I imagined the utter terror even one of them could inflict on Earthlings just by materializing.

  Of course, the grandeur of Ramiel’s appearance couldn’t be underestimated. The Timanfaya shook in fury and ruptured to make room for him in an explosive ejection of magma. With wings of the thickest black, he expanded from murky dust into an oversized titan. He loomed over his henchmen and me. Groaning to myself, I lifted a hand in greeting.

  “Ramiel. What’s up?”

  The guy never had been much for greetings, so he summoned me with the imperious crooking of a claw.

  “Why are you here, Cassiel?” He thundered.

  “Well, I gave your offer another thought and realized you got the wrong answer.”

  “Really now? Do tell.”

  “We’ve done each other favors before, Ramiel—always a blast, of course—and now I need some help.”

  “With what?” Simmering eyes narrowed at me. Wonderful.

  “With a couple of things. The archangels. They need to stay the hell away from my freedom, and—”

  “Why wouldn’t they, Cassiel? What have you done that’s so remarkable?”

  “—which ties in to my other problem. You’re familiar with what Gabriel’s been up to. He’s ruined all the fun for me lately with his lame-ass indiscretions, and I’m ready for revenge.”

  Ramiel let out a roaring sigh, already tired of my dramatics, and I laughed inside.

  “You want revenge for not having fun, Cassiel?”

  “Damn straight! His female turning me down is about the least fun I’ve ever had.”

  His features crumpled into a frown as he stared me down. I had to do better. “Why do you think Earth is paradise for us Free Fallen Ones, Ramiel? Chicks, man! Sex!” I said.

  Ramiel supported his chin in a palm. A low snarl rumbled in his throat. Yeah, not good enough.

  “Okay, so this one’s a hottie. I’m not big on rejection, and I need to have her whenever and however I want. Gabr
iel’s in the way of a good time. Once she’s mine, I can’t be bothered with his petty reprisals. You get my drift?” I was definitely convincing myself.

  “No, I don’t. Take the other females. Why her?”

  “Really? You don’t get it? Dude, she said ‘no!’ Nobody says ‘no’ to me. It’s so damn hot I’m going crazy here; I want her. Over and over.” I did want her. I should become a motivational speaker.

  “Never mind.” Ramiel was groaning with impatience. “So you need my protection from the archangels. How can you serve me?”

  “Well, here’s a treat for you. The Celestials are aware of what’s going on with Gabriel and his female. They’re planning an intervention, and if I look neutral, I can be…your infiltrator!”

  My tap dance and jazz hands must not have impressed him, because he sneered in disdain.

  “No, really, Cassiel. That’s the kicker? How can you, a Fallen One, be our spy? The Heavens don’t trust you.”

  “Correct, but Gabriel shares everything with the female. Since I’ll need to dazzle her to make her surrender to me, extracting information will be a piece of cake.”

  Ramiel lifted his bushy eyebrows and crouched down to my level. “And you’re keeping him in the dark.”

  “Of course. I’ll pop up a Free Fallen energy field to block him out. Then, I’ll do a little memory-swiping before I take off.”

  “No. No energy field.” He was growling. Lovely.

  “Oh, sure, and how else am I supposed to learn what Gabriel tells her without the Heavens eavesdropping? Even if Gabriel were fine sharing, they’d realize I was spying.”

  “Block out the Celestials.”

  “Hmm, you really believe in my skills, don’t you? I’m feeling all gooey and warm inside here. No—can’t do that. It’s block or no block. All or nothing, dude.”

  Before I knew it, a giant arm clocked me in the head with such force that I flew to the ground. I couldn’t help chortling.

  “Enough of your stupidity! I am not a dude, Cassiel.”

  The jokes crossing my mind were hilarious. I had to work hard not to go there. “Right, sorry, bud.”

  I must have convinced him, though, because the next thing he said was “Fine, Fallen One, show me what you can do.” He boomed out the command in his so not down-to-Earth voice.

  Here we go. To act according to my nature shouldn’t be hard, though. I’d pull off ‘first class liar’ any day.

  ****

  Gaia was in bed looking awful when I appeared in her dorm. The perfect occasion to showcase my opinion of Gabriel’s talents. Not that she meant much to me, but he did give angels a bad name.

  The thing was, you either purposely killed the chick with the pleasure you gave her, or you stopped in time, which had her yearning for you until the day she died. Both perfectly fine options. What you just didn’t do was lose control like he’d done, only to deal with them withering into barely-there renditions of themselves.

  Gabriel had my eyes rolling at the sheer stupidity of everything he did lately. Unbelievable how he kept tumbling lower and lower. Honest to God, he acted like a freaking human entrusted with powers he couldn’t control.

  I raised the energy field around her room, making sure neither Grigori nor Celestials could penetrate our bubble.

  The Free Fallen had developed this skill over centuries to protect our lifestyle. I loved how it reduced Heaven and Hell to mere spectators observing through a soundproof window.

  Both of their armies had the means to shatter the shields if need be. Since they never did, most of our crimes and blatant immorality happened behind the barriers. It explained why so few of us had been deported to Hell.

  Another handy component was that the audience would end up believing whatever you wanted—if you coaxed the right actors inside the energy field. Unfortunately, the last time Gaia had played a part with me, she hadn’t exactly exhibited amazing acting skills.

  ****

  Gaia

  I was still waiting for Marina when Cassiel appeared in all his glory by my bedside. He shot me one exasperated look and crackled his signature shield in place. Then, he started in on me.

  “What the hell, Gaia. Were you planning to stay alive?”

  “None of your business.”

  “Well damn, I’ll kill you myself if that’s the goal! You mess up my existence anyway.” Stalking over to the study desk, he grabbed a charcoal drawing of Gabriel and flipped it into the air.

  “You guys are pitiful. No waiting for a week, right?”

  Too weak to answer, I let my index finger pop up in warning, but he ignored me.

  “Guess what? With me, you would’ve been on your knees begging for more. Actually, on your hands and knees.” Cassiel’s cat eyes shot fire at me. “I should’ve just taken you back at the apartment.”

  “You’re being ridiculous, Cassiel,” I whispered.

  “Ridiculous? Don’t think so. If my intention had been to keep you alive after, I would’ve kept you breathing on purpose. Interesting concept, yes? Instead, thanks to your precious Gabriel—you, living—is pure luck.”

  Cassiel crossed his arms. His annoyance melted into a sexy smirk. Too debilitated to move, I couldn’t act on the impulse to scream at him. Instead angry tears spilled as I sank further into the pillows.

  “Shut up.” I croaked. “Get out of my room and don’t ever come back.”

  The silence took over. Cassiel examined me with eyes gliding from the darkest of copper to the brightest gold.

  “Okay, so enough about me. Go ahead and look like I’ve dazzled you into being calm and cooperative.” The lack of effect my command had on him was unbelievable.

  “What? You expect me to put on a show? Now?”

  “Yep. For Lover Boy.”

  He knew how to press the right button. Deflating, I mentally prepared to follow orders when he botched it again.

  “By the way, he’s a total amateur. You’ve got two thousand years of experience in front of you here, babe, in one nice package, and the offer of a free test drive still stands.”

  “Crap, I don’t care about your stupid experience—I freaking hate you!”

  He snickered merrily.

  “Ah, she’s got spunk still. That’s nice. At some point, you might seem almost normal again!”

  Calm down, Gaia, you can do this. Ommmm.

  “Now, number one: I’m about to make-believe dazzle you. Number two: There will be some serious cuddling. Number three: I’ll ask for Celestial information, which you should give me in a dazed manner. All righty, sugar?”

  The urge to slap him was overwhelming.

  His gaze invaded me, but I could tell the impact of seduction simmered on the lowest burn he knew. It was the most thoughtful thing I’d ever seen him do.

  The exhaustion lulled me. Looking dazed came naturally. Cassiel slinked under my blankets like a wicked cheetah and accommodated himself around me.

  He covered us and whispered his updates in my ear like verbal love notes. The entire time, he skimmed my face and neck with his lips. My breathing became more erratic with his hands sliding down my body, and in a repeat performance from his apartment I stopped them in their tracks.

  “Drop the games, please. We can’t afford to mess this up.”

  “What? I’m just—”

  “No, you’re not, Cassiel.”

  His updates fascinated me in a morbid way. The next time I got to see Gabriel, I could tell him how step one of our scheme had been completed. From the Celestial side, though, I had no new information for Cassiel. He already knew that Gabriel had left for the First Gate.

  The fatigue made my skin crawl, but my brain swirled with questions.

  “So Ramiel’s thrilled that Gabriel hasn’t been punished for being with me. Why? How does it benefit the Grigori?”

  Cassiel pulled away from my earlobe to study me.

  “Oh right, you wouldn’t know about the Tomes.”

  “Never heard of them.”

 
Cassiel recounted the story of the Grigorian Tomes, the six-volume black bible of Sataniel’s angels. Dedicated to the history of the Grigori, the books obsessed over options and possibilities of a conquest of Heaven.

  “Does Gabriel know?”

  “Ha, clearly not. My brother’s a total blabbermouth with you, so since you hadn’t heard of them, he hasn’t either.”

  Like on Earth, Heaven and Hell worked off of quantities, Cassiel explained. Due to their superior number, Michael and his legions had defeated the Grigori during the War in Heaven. Sataniel had been trapping, tricking, and deceiving souls for millennia, and the scales were starting to balance.

  Meanwhile, no Celestial angel had breached Heavenly Rules without instant punishment before. Gabriel had broken several and was still my guardian angel.

  “The Tomes speak of ways the numbers of the armies can increase disproportionally.”

  “How?”

  “There are many ways. For instance, if a white angel like Gabriel changed from pure goodness without Celestial punishment, his imperfection would generate a million brand new demons.”

  “What the…? Please, please tell me Gabriel would have to do more than just sleep with me for that to happen.”

  “Yes, much more. He’d have to tip way toward evil instead of good. Even so, they say it won’t work unless the Celestials refrain from punishing him.”

  “Is Ramiel expecting this to happen, you think?”

  “Well, I can’t make sense of it. There are pieces missing in this picture. Gabriel doesn’t have a single, wicked streak in him. Sure, he’s acquired a few human traits—desire for you, anger, jealousy—and he should get his ass kicked out of Heaven for them. But I can’t see him choose evil.”

  “Okay, but what if they somehow turned him evil and the one million new demons materialized?”

  “The Grigori would be set. Heaven doesn’t welcome demons, and they are superior warriors. Good souls sway the scales less. They can add to the mix, but if you tried to measure demons up against them? Forget about it.”

  Here I was, lounging in my dorm at a beautiful campus in Shades Run. Billions of people all over Earth were in danger of dropping like dominoes from the immediate effects of my actions. I shuddered.