Redeeming Claire

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Redeeming Claire Page 16

by Cynthia Rutledge


  Some might say it was wrong to tell God what to do, but Claire figured she wasn’t telling Him what to do, she was merely offering a suggestion. God, she knew from past experience, would do just what He pleased, regardless of her preferences. After all, if she had her way Tony would have loved her and they would have lived happily ever after.

  But Tony didn’t. And instead of heading down the aisle at the end of the week, she was headed out of his life. This time for good.

  Tony stared at the clock on his office wall. In less than an hour Claire would leave for Des Moines with Mrs. Sandy, and he’d never see her again.

  The despair that had threatened to overwhelm him for the past forty-eight hours returned with a vengeance.

  Dear God, please help me to understand and accept Your mysterious ways. I really thought Claire loved me and I truly believed we could have been happy together. I know now that’s not Your will. But I have just one suggestion. The Jay Nordstroms of this world may be successful, good-looking guys. They may even be believers, I don’t know. But that’s not the type of man Claire needs. Trust me on this one. She needs someone….

  Tony started, realizing he’d been thinking, “like me.” He cleared his throat and continued. Different. Thank You. Amen.

  Tony rose and moved to the window. The downtown merchants had already started decorating for the Fourth of July festivities.

  My wedding day.

  He chuckled, but there was no humor in the sound. And despite knowing better, he couldn’t quite rid himself of a tiny flicker of hope that until Claire was on the plane to Colorado, there was still a chance.

  You’re a fool, Karelli. What are you expecting? A miracle?

  “Fat chance of that,” he muttered.

  “Pastor.”

  Tony whirled at the unexpected voice. “April. What are you doing here?”

  The girl stood in the doorway, a suspicious expression on her face. “You were talking to yourself.”

  “It’s a bad habit,” Tony said with a self-deprecating grin. He waved her into the office. “Come in and have a seat.”

  She stepped into the office but made no move to sit down. “We don’t have a lot of time.”

  “For what?”

  “Oh, puh-leeze.” April heaved an exasperated sigh. “You know.”

  “No, I don’t know. I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

  “Okay, I’ll spell it out for you.” April spoke slowly, articulating each word. “We need to stop my mom from taking Claire to the airport.”

  “Why would we want to do that?” Tony forced a nonchalant air.

  April eyed him with a calculating expression, and he had the strange feeling she could see straight through him.

  He averted his gaze and straightened the papers on his desk, shoving a couple of stray pencils into a metal cylinder already filled with pens. When he glanced up, April’s gaze was still riveted to him.

  “Can’t the cleaning wait?” April lifted a brow. “We’re talking about something important here.”

  “April, she wants to leave.”

  “Yeah, right.” April scoffed. “Tell that to someone who’s stupid enough to believe it.”

  “She does.” He resisted the urge to refill his stapler, or even better yet, leave the room. “Small-town living isn’t for her.”

  And neither am I.

  Tony shoved his hands into his pockets, his fingers curving around his grandmother’s ring. He pulled it from his pocket and glanced at the sparkling gem.

  He’d left the diamond on the dresser the past two days instead of putting it into the safety deposit box where it belonged.

  It belongs on Claire’s finger.

  This morning Tony couldn’t stand looking at it any longer. He’d scooped it up, along with some spare change, and put it in his pocket to get it out of sight. But all day it had been a constant reminder of what he was losing.

  “I don’t know why you think Claire wants to leave,” April said with more than a hint of impatience. “She’s told me plenty of times how much she liked it here.”

  Tony marveled at her youthful optimism and wished his own hadn’t been washed away in the harsh sea of reality. He dropped the ring into his pocket.

  “April, this is her decision. She broke up with me.” The fact that she could walk away so easily still hurt.

  “Did you ever tell her you loved her? That you wanted her to stay?”

  “A lot has gone on in the last couple of days. I really don’t want to dis—”

  “Tell me you’re not talking about that thing at the Nordstrom place.”

  “How’d you find out about that?”

  “Is that why she’s leaving?” she asked.

  “It might have something to do with it.” He shrugged. He certainly wasn’t going to discuss his personal life with a seventeen-year-old.

  “What did she say happened that night?”

  “She claimed she’d gone to help a friend.”

  “And?”

  “That’s it. We didn’t discuss it further.” Tony shook his head, trying to erase the vivid picture the officer had painted. “I heard all I needed to know from the deputy.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding.”

  Tony remained silent. As far as he was concerned, this discussion was closed.

  “You aren’t kidding.” Amazement sounded in her voice. She shook her head. “All I can say is it’s a good thing God doesn’t operate the way you do.”

  “What do you mean?” Tony said.

  “You keep saying God is there for us. He listens to our troubles. He’s our friend, no matter what.” April’s gaze flicked over Tony, and he could see the disappointment in her eyes. “You talk in your sermons about how we should follow God’s example. I guess you don’t practice what you preach. I guess you don’t mean the things you tell the rest of us about being there for each other.”

  “April.” Tony fought to hold on to his temper.

  “What if I told you I was Claire’s friend? The one she helped that night?”

  Tony started to say she couldn’t be, but when he stared into her clear blue eyes, he knew she was telling him the truth.

  But why hadn’t she said anything before? Why now?

  He took a deep steadying breath, pulled up a chair and gestured for her to take the other. “Why don’t you tell me what happened that night?”

  She sat down reluctantly. Beads of perspiration dotted her forehead. “Okay, but this is just between you, me and Claire,” April said. “You can’t tell anybody else, especially my mom.”

  Tony paused. He didn’t like keeping things from a parent, but in his heart he knew if Claire thought the secret was something Mrs. Sandy needed to know, she would have never promised not to tell. “I won’t say a word.”

  She flashed him a grateful smile, folded her hands in her lap almost as if she were praying and took a deep breath.

  A few minutes later Tony sat back in his chair, stunned by April’s revelation. He could only imagine what Claire had gone through. No wonder her beautiful face had been lined with stress that night. At the time, he hadn’t given it a second thought. He’d been too caught up in his own concerns.

  Thank You, Father, for keeping her safe.

  “Why didn’t she tell me all this?” he asked, but he knew the answer. Because I wouldn’t listen.

  “I don’t know.” April lifted one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “She told me she was going to, said she didn’t want there to be any secrets between the two of you. I was cool with her telling you. I just made her promise not to tell anyone else.”

  There’s so much I need to tell you.

  He thought of how he’d interrogated Claire in front of Harold and Mrs. Sandy. No wonder she’d kept silent. Tony ran a shaky hand through his hair. He’d really botched this one.

  “Can I go now?”

  “Of course.” His gaze met hers. “Thanks for telling me, April.”

  “Yeah, well, you needed to
know.” She stood and walked to the door, but instead of opening it, she turned back, one hand still on the knob. “Claire’s a good person. She saved my life.”

  April turned on her heel. Before he could say a word, the door slammed behind her.

  Tony stood there for the longest time. The enormity of what he’d done washed over him in ever increasing waves of guilt and recrimination. He sank into the chair and covered his face with his hands.

  He’d always prided himself on being a good man. A caring man. A man of God. But when it counted most, when it came time to put his words into action, he’d failed. April had been right about that, too.

  From the mouths of babes…

  A deep sense of shame filled him. Since she’d arrived in town, Claire had never given him any reason to doubt her. But when he thought back, that’s all he had done. He’d tested her at every opportunity, waiting for her to disappoint him. And, when this latest episode occurred, it had almost been a relief to have his low expectations validated.

  He’d gotten what he deserved. He’d lost the woman he loved. But Claire had not deserved what she’d gotten.

  She’d tried to explain.

  He’d refused to listen.

  And all the time he’d thought only of himself. Now he needed to make things right with her. At the very least apologize and ask for forgiveness. But how could he face her?

  God has not given us a spirit of fear. But He has given us a spirit of power and love.

  The Bible verse from Timothy ran through his head.

  Tony took a deep breath and headed for the door. This time he wasn’t going to let fear or foolish pride stand in the way of doing the right thing.

  “If you want to leave early, I’m—” The words died in Claire’s throat. It wasn’t the landlady who’d come into the dining room, but Tony. She set her book facedown on the table. “If you’re looking for Mrs. Sandy, I haven’t seen her.”

  He shifted from one foot to the other, but his gaze didn’t waver. “Actually I was looking for you.”

  “Really?” She lifted a brow. “I didn’t think you wanted to see me. You’ve spent the last few days avoiding me like I had the plague.”

  He ignored the flippant comment and pulled out a chair opposite her. “Care if I sit down?”

  “Suit yourself.” Claire took a sip of her cold coffee. “I’m getting ready to leave soon anyway.”

  “I’ve got a couple of things I want to talk to you about.” Tony folded his hands on the table in front of him, and his expression grew serious. “Can you spare a few minutes?”

  Claire made a show of glancing at her watch. “I suppose. If you make it short.”

  “This won’t take long.” Tony drew a deep breath. “First, I’m really sorry about the other night. I never even gave you a chance to explain.”

  “You’re right. You didn’t,” Claire said, proud she could sound so offhand when her insides churned. “But that’s the past. It doesn’t matter now. Let’s just drop it.”

  “I can’t.” He cleared his throat, and a hint of red crept up his neck. “The way I talked to you was inexcusable.”

  “You’re right,” she said. “It was.”

  “I want you to understand why I acted that way.”

  “C’mon, Tony, get real.” She forced another sip of the coffee down her throat. “I already figured out what was going on.”

  “You did?” Surprise sounded in his voice.

  “I’m not stupid.” Claire picked up the book and read the same sentence for the third time. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter now.”

  “It does to me,” Tony said. “I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am you had to go through that alone. On the other hand, I thank God you were there for her.”

  She stared at him for a long moment. “So, how much did April tell you?”

  “Everything,” Tony said. “I feel terrible. I wouldn’t blame you if you never speak to me again.”

  “Never is a long time.” Claire eyed him calculatingly. He seemed repentant. And he did look truly gorgeous in those khaki pants and navy polo. Perhaps she should cut him a little slack. “Actually, I have to hand it to you. You took advantage of a heaven-sent opportunity. I’d probably have done the exact same thing.”

  “I’m not sure I follow what you’re saying.”

  “C’mon, you don’t have to pretend. I know the score. You’d found the perfect way for us to break up and you took it. Although,” she added, “it would have been nice if you’d warned me.”

  “Perfect way to break up?” His brow furrowed. “What are you talking about? I never wanted to break up with you. I wanted to marry you.”

  “Marry me?” Her normally husky voice came out as a squeak. She cleared her throat. “Have you been drinking the communion wine?”

  “I’m totally sober.” His gaze met hers. “And I mean every word.”

  “Our engagement was just an act, a show for the church board to keep your job. You don’t love me.”

  “Of course, I love you. I wouldn’t want to marry you if I didn’t,” Tony said. “You’re the one who doesn’t love me.”

  “Who says I don’t?” The words popped out of her mouth before she could stop them.

  A strange gleam flickered in his eyes, and she could almost see the wheels turning in his head. That incredible dimple flashed in his cheek. “Claire Waters, are you saying you do love me?”

  “Are you saying you love me?” Claire said.

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

  She’d be putting her heart on the line.

  Taking a risk he’d break it again.

  Stubborn pride.

  She lifted her chin and sniffed. “Call me crazy, but I love you, too.”

  Their eyes locked and their breathing came in unison. Claire’s heart hammered against her ribs.

  Tony reached across the table and brushed her cheek with his knuckles. The mere touch of his hand sent a warm shiver through her. Thick with emotion, his voice shook slightly. “I love you more than anything.”

  She hesitated, unable to believe that just when she’d given up hope, her dream was coming true. “If you’re playing with me…”

  “I’d like to,” he said with a wicked grin, “but we’ve got to wait until we’re married for that.”

  Claire smiled, finally convinced. A languid warmth filled her limbs at the thought of their wedding night. Her breathing picked up speed. “I don’t suppose you have a date in mind.”

  “As a matter of fact I do.” His eyes glittered, looking more black than brown. “Independence Day is coming up, and I’ve always been partial to that holiday. Maybe it’s because I’ve always liked firecrackers.”

  “Firecrackers can blow up unexpectedly,” Claire said with an impish grin. “Sometimes right in your face.”

  “Sometimes that’s just what a foolish minister deserves.” He chuckled. “There’s one other thing.” Tony rose and rounded the table, pulling her to her feet. “We need to seal this deal with a kiss.”

  He brushed a piece of hair from her face with the back of his hand. It was a tender gesture, gentle and loving, matching the soft look in his eyes. “What do you say, sweetheart? Can I kiss you?”

  She stared at this man she loved more than life itself and lifted her lips to his. “Anytime…”

  The word was muffled by the crush of his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “Oh, my.” Mrs. Sandy tittered. “Does this mean you’re not leaving for Colorado and that the wedding is back on?”

  Tony groaned under his breath. Claire turned in his arms to face the landlady, unable to keep the smile from her lips. “That’s just what it means.”

  “Thank goodness.” The landlady heaved a relieved sigh. “I was hoping he didn’t make the trip for nothing.”

  Puzzled, Claire glanced at Tony, but he just shrugged. “I guess I don’t understand. Who are you talking about?”

  “Why, your father, of course,
” Mrs. Sandy said. “I invited him to the wedding, and there’s a message on the recorder. He just landed in Des Moines and he’s on his way here.”

  “You invited him to the wedding?” Claire said. “How did you even find him?”

  “You gave me his number.” A hint of pink colored Mrs. Sandy’s cheeks. “To use in case of an emergency. You said he was a very busy man, but I figured a daughter getting married is sort of an emergency. And he was thrilled with the news. Simply thrilled. You’re not mad, are you?”

  Claire shook her head. Talk about mysterious ways. Having her father there to walk her down the aisle would be a dream come true. “Actually, that’s wonderful.”

  “He should be getting here about the same time as my parents and grandmother. Looks like tonight will be a family dinner,” Tony said, his arm resting lightly around Claire’s waist.

  “Oh, my goodness.” Mrs. Sandy eyes widened. “I’ll need to thaw out another steak. If you two will excuse me.”

  The minute the woman left the room, Claire turned to Tony with a smile, her lips already tingling in anticipation. “Now, where were we?”

  “First things first.” Tony brushed a kiss across her lips, stepped back and reached into his pocket. “The relatives are going to expect you to be—” he held out his hand palm upward “—wearing my ring.”

  Claire’s breath caught in her throat. Reverently she reached for the gem.

  He shook his head and smiled. “Let me.”

  With great care he slid it on her finger.

  “Oh, Tony.” She held out her hand, admiring the diamond she’d once despised.

  “We don’t have time to shop for another one before the wedding,” Tony said. “But this fall we’ll take a trip, wherever you want, and you can pick out the ring of your dreams.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  Tony raised a brow. “I promise. We—”

  “I want this ring.”

  “But it’s flawed.” His brows pulled together in confusion. “You said so yourself.”

  “I know,” Claire said, “but so are you, and I still love you.”

 

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