One Fete in the Grave

by Vickie Fee

  Di had a nearly empty mug of coffee sitting on the coffee table. I refilled it and brought over her plate and some cutlery.

  “So you’ll be off from work all week, at least,” I said.

  “Actually, I could go in and have them put me on light duty, sitting at a desk sorting things or filling out paperwork. But the thought bores me to tears, so I decided to just take the week off.”

  “Don’t use up all your vacation time. Mama and Earl have decided to get hitched in Las Vegas. And in addition to Larry Joe and me and my in-laws, Earl and Mama want to treat you and Dave to a trip as a thank-you for your help in clearing Earl’s name. I hope you’ll go. It’ll be fun.”

  “I can’t believe your Mama is giving up on her fantasy island wedding. You must be disappointed.”

  “Whatever makes her happy,” I said, savoring a bite of a warm chocolate chip muffin.

  “I’m not opposed to the idea of a trip to Vegas, especially on someone else’s dime. But your mama seems to be making some assumptions if she’s inviting Dave and me as a couple.”

  “Actually, I told her I didn’t know what kind of room arrangements would be convenient. So she said she’d book connecting rooms and let the two of you work it out for yourselves. Do you think Dave will actually take the time away from work to go?”

  “Oh, he’ll go. I can assure you he’ll go,” she said with a sly smile.

  Tips for a Fourth of July Block Party on a Budget

  A Fourth of July celebration doesn’t have to be a community-wide extravaganza like the one Liv coordinated for the town of Dixie in the book. A neighborhood bash can be a whole lot of fun and provides the perfect opportunity to get together with neighbors and catch up on everything they missed out on during the busy school year.

  Invites

  Free printable invitations can be downloaded from the Internet, or a group of neighborhood kids can make a project of drawing on trimmed sheets of card stock with their own red, white, and blue designs and then hand deliver them, passing them out to neighbors or slipping them under doors.

  If your neighborhood is well connected via e-mail (for instance, your community has a neighborhood watch and neighbors share e-mails and phone numbers), choose to go paperless and send e-vites.

  Paper or paperless, be sure invitations include away to sign up for food, shopping, setup, entertainment, and any other necessary details. Include an e-mail address for RSVPs and questions, or, alternately, set up a Facebook event page or an online sign-up page (SignUpGenius has a basic version that’s free).

  Food

  For the meats, it might be easier, and more cost effective, to have everyone pitch in a few dollars and buy the ground beef, hot dogs, and so on in larger quantities from a warehouse club.

  A few of the neighbors can gather their grills into a row of grilling stations and cook to order. The grill masters will enjoy the camaraderie and will have a chance to talk to everyone in the neighborhood as they stop by to pick up a burger or brat.

  Side dishes can be potluck, although it’s a good idea to have people sign up indicating what they’re bringing, so you don’t end up with ten bowls of potato salad and no fruit platter.

  At any potluck affair it’s a good idea to place index cards and pens on the table and ask people to write their name and the name of their food item. This way neighbors will know who to ask if they have food allergy concerns, such as gluten, dairy, or nut allergies.Those who don’t cook can bring paper plates, napkins, utensils, cups, potato chips, and so forth.

  Bonus Recipe

  Southern Potato Salad

  2 pounds potatoes, peeled and cubed

  6 hard-boiled eggs, chopped

  1 cup mayo

  1 tablespoon yellow mustard

  4 tablespoons chopped sweet pickles

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Smoked paprika

  Instructions:

  Place eggs in pan and cover with cold water. When water starts to boil, reduce heat to a low simmer uncovered for one minute. Remove from heat and cover. Let stand for 12 minutes. Move eggs to an ice bath to cool.

  Peel and dice the potatoes into 1-inch cubes. Cover them with water in a large pot and bring to a boil for 15–20 minutes or until tender. Drain in a colander. Let potatoes cool completely before mixing, so they don’t crumble.

  Peel and roughly chop hard-boiled eggs.

  In a separate bowl, mix together all the other ingredients except the paprika. Add potatoes and eggs and stir gently until the dressing coats the potatoes. Sprinkle paprika liberally on top.

  Beverages

  In addition to beer, don’t forget the nonalcoholic beverages, including soft drinks, juices, lemonade, iced tea—and lots of water. Hanging out with neighbors on a hot summer afternoon means everyone needs to stay hydrated. And be sure to have some sunscreen on hand to share. Coolers, galvanized tubs, and even kiddie pools filled with ice will keep beverages icy cold.

  Set up a lemonade stand and let the neighborhood kids man it. Neighbors can toss a nickel or a dime in the payment jar. And at the end of the day, divvy up the shiny money among the kids who took a shift at the stand.

  Desserts

  Include ice cream cones, sundaes with fixings—fun for the kids—and ice cream cakes. All are great for a hot summer day—and don’t require turning on an oven.

  Kids’ Activities

  Kick off the day with a “Patriotic Bike and Wagon” parade. Deck out those red wagons, tricycles, and bicycles—including the ones sporting training wheels—with patriotic swag. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Load the cart at the dollar store with streamers, ribbons, and pinwheels. And don’t forget the red, white, and blue balloons! Even paper plates with Fourth of July designs cut into star shapes will look good adorning the spokes and baskets of kids’ bikes. All you need is tape or florist wire!

  Keep it simple. Just put out jump ropes, hula hoops, Slip ’N Slides. Include water balloons and water pistols—if you dare.

  Entertainment

  Let all those brave enough to sign up for a talent show in on the fun—but limit their time in the spotlight by scheduling every performer ahead of time. The local garage band, the pint-sized baton twirler, the budding ballerinas, the guy who plays the harmonica, the neighbor who fancies himself a magician—these acts can all provide memorable moments for your block party and strengthen bonds among neighbors. This is a chance to learn something you never knew about your neighbors—for better or worse! And if the sign-up sheet is mostly blank, you can always go with karaoke!

  Fireworks

  July 4th isn’t complete for many people without a fireworks show. If there’s a safe area from which to launch fireworks, and someone in the neighborhood has a fireworks display operator’s license (often needed to get a fireworks display permit for larger shows), then by all means go big. Everyone can pitch in to pay for the pyrotechnic display. Otherwise, it’s probably best to keep it simple—and safe. Load up the kids and carpool to your town’s fireworks show. Or at dusk, hand out glow-in-the-dark sticks or glow bracelets to all the youngsters, and sparklers for the older kids and kids at heart.

  Fireworks that don’t explode or shoot up into the air are sometimes referred to as “safe and sane” fireworks. But even these fireworks require safety precautions and adult supervision. Setting off any fireworks at a crowded block party with lots of kids around is risky. Families who wish to set off small fireworks with their own children may choose to retreat to their own enclosed backyard to do so.

  Don’t Forget the Photos

  Keep the memories. Create a social media hashtag so neighbors can find each other’s photos on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

  Create a private folder in the cloud on Dropbox or Amazon Cloud Drive where everyone can upload—and download—the best photos from the day.

  Bonus Tip

  Be sure to check with the city before setting up barricades. Regulations will vary. For example, in some cities a petition signed by a certai
n percentage of residents may be required.

  Tips for a Fabulous BabyShower

  Heather’s Gender-Reveal

  Baby Shower

  (featured in the book)

  Decorations

  • Clothesline strung across a curtain rod with small toys and some baby socks and onesies hanging from it. As the mom-to-be opens gifts, adorable little outfits are added to the line.

  • Stuffed animals placed on the gift table and occasional tables.

  • Cake featuring a pink marzipan ballet slipper and a blue sneaker. Underneath the footwear are alternating blue and pink letters that read, “It’s a . . .” When the cake is sliced, a luscious pink shade of strawberry cake hidden under the frosting reveals it’s a girl. (Obviously, the cake can be changed to blueberry, or any flavor along with blue food coloring, if the reveal is for a boy.)

  Brunch Menu

  Ham with mini biscuits

  Cheesy grits

  Granola and Greek yogurt parfaits topped

  with fresh strawberries and blueberries

  Mini bagels with assorted flavored cream

  cheese spreads

  Made-to-order omelets

  Juices and coffee

  Bonus Recipe

  Cheesy Grits

  4 cups water

  1 cup uncooked grits

  ½ cup half-and-half

  ¼ cup butter, melted

  2 large eggs, lightly beaten

  1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese

  ½ cup (2 ounces) shredded Parmesan

  cheese

  1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

  teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Instructions:

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large saucepan, bring water to a boil. Slowly stir in grits. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 5–8 minutes or until thickened. Let cool a bit. Gradually whisk in half-and-half, butter, and eggs. Stir in cheeses, Worcestershire sauce, and cayenne pepper. Add salt and pepper to taste.

  Transfer to a greased 2-quart baking dish. Bake uncovered for 30–40 minutes or until bubbly. Let stand about 10 minutes before serving. Yield: 8 servings.

  Games

  • Bags containing baby items (some unusual) are passed around and guests have to guess what the items are merely by touch—no peeking!

  • My Water Broke game: Ice trays containing a miniature baby doll in each slot are filled to varying degrees and dropped into juice or other chilled beverages. When a cube completely melts, releasing the baby, the person calls out, “My water broke!” The first one to do so wins a prize.

  Party Favors

  • Heavy-duty white lunch sacks decorated with pink tulle tutus and ballerina tops fashioned from pink cardboard. Pink and white ribbon threaded through holes punched in the tops of the bags secures the bags once they are filled. (For a blue design, you could use gauze for a diaper attached with a blue diaper pin. Or you could go with a gender-neutral adornment in green and yellow.)

  • Gift bag contents: baby food–sized jars filled with pink and white jelly beans (or blue and white, if appropriate) labeled “Heather’s (mom’s name) Baby Shower” along with the date, and rubber ducky–shaped soaps.

  • Slices of cake wrapped in plastic or foil could also be dropped into the gift bags for guests to take home.

  Bonus Baby Shower Idea

  The gender-reveal shower was for Heather. When it’s time for a shower for her sister, Tiffany, a “Breakfast at Tiffany’s Baby Shower” would be great fun. (This is a fun idea for any mom-to-be who likes a bit of glam—even if her name isn’t Tiffany!)

  Obviously, it would feature a breakfast or brunch menu, including juices served in champagne flutes. It should include fabulous iced cupcakes topped with classic baby motif decorations, such as rattles, in metallic silver or black-and-white-striped cupcake liners.

  All the guests would receive a party favor box with “Tiffany’s” stenciled across the top. And, of course, each guest would be issued a party store tiara to wear at the shower!

  If you enjoyed One Fete in the Grave,

  be sure not to miss the first book

  in Vickie Fee’s Liv & Di in Dixie Mystery series

  DEATH CRASHES THE PARTY

  In the quirky, close-knit town of Dixie,

  Tennessee, party planner Liv McKay has a knack

  for throwing Southern-style soirées, from

  diamonds-and-denim to black tie affairs, and her

  best friend Di Souther mixes a mean daiquiri.

  While planning a Moonshine and Magnolias

  bash for high maintenance clients,

  Liv inconveniently discovers a corpse in the

  freezer and turns her attention from fabulous

  fêtes to finding a murderer. Together,

  Liv and Di follow a trail of sinister secrets

  in their sweet little town that leads them

  from drug smugglers to a Civil War battlefield,

  and just when they think they’re whistling Dixie,

  Liv and Di will find themselves squarely in the

  crosshairs of the least likely killer of all . . .

  Keep reading for a special excerpt.

  A Kensington mass-market paperback and

  e-book on sale now!

  Chapter 1

  Monday was a scorching August day that had turned into hell for me when the Farrell brothers crashed a party that already had disaster written all over it.

  I was repeating the dreadful details for the umpteenth time to Sheriff Eulyse “Dave” Davidson.

  At 10:00 a.m. I met yet again with the Erdmans to continue negotiations for their fortieth-anniversary party. Making all Mrs. Erdman’s peculiar dreams come true, while still pacifying her husband, was a complicated balancing act—like spinning plates on poles. This is a skill every good party planner must learn.

  Mrs. Erdman, her red hair sticking out in barbed curls, sat on a chintz sofa in the couple’s expansive living room. We discussed every tedious detail of a moonshine- and magnolias-themed party. Mr. Erdman sat in a recliner, paying scant attention to anything that didn’t require personal effort on his part.

  In a nutshell—the Erdmans being the nuts—she wanted an elegant party with frills, fancy foods, and elaborate decorations. Mr. Erdman wanted to wear comfortable clothes and drink lots of liquor. So he and his buddies would sample generous servings of different whiskeys, including moonshine from his cousin Vern’s still. The ladies would dress as Southern belles, sip mint juleps, and listen to a Dixieland band on the veranda. The men, at the insistence of Mr. Erdman, would be dressed as bootleggers. Picture O Brother, Where Art Thou? We finally ironed out a major wrinkle when Mr. Erdman acquiesced to one dance with his wife. Hopefully, the other husbands would follow suit.

  Mrs. Erdman’s most recent vision for the party—and she’d had many—included ice sculptures. She wanted a giant forty perched atop a 1973 Plymouth Barracuda carved in ice, which would be displayed on the buffet table, with icy bare-butted cherubs to either side. The Barracuda was the car they took on their honeymoon. Not sure about the cherubs, but ours is not to reason why. After consulting with the ice sculptor, I now had to figure out how to store 250 pounds of ice—in August—so it wouldn’t melt before the party. Although the Erdmans had two refrigerators with freezers in their kitchen, they were nowhere near large enough to accommodate the sculptures.

  Mrs. Erdman offered that they had a deep freezer in the garage, which stored her husband’s bounty of venison and catfish from his hunting and fishing exploits. She assured me that any game left in the freezer could be given away to friends and neighbors to make way for the sculptures. Mr. Erdman didn’t dispute her assertion. I followed them into the garage, with tape measure in hand, to make sure the freezer could contain the ice sculptures.

  “And . . . well, you know what happened next.”

  “Humor me,” Dave said, with absolutely no sympathy for the day I was having.
So I went through it—again.

  I opened the freezer to measure the interior. Unfortunately, what we beheld was the frosty remains of Darrell Farrell, staring up at us like a fresh-caught walleye.

  Mrs. Erdman screamed and ran back into the house. Her rotund husband stood for a moment, stunned. I backed away from the freezer, looking at a still slack-jawed Walter Erdman, trying to think of something to say. Instead, I tripped, knocking over a big green garbage can, and found myself sprawled on top of Darrell’s very dead brother, Duane, who had toppled out with the trash. He was wearing what for the life of me looked like a Confederate uniform.

  Walter Erdman screamed like a young girl and ran across the three-car garage and back into the house. I’d never seen anyone haul that much ass in one load. The Erdmans, who had the nerve of a bad tooth, had left me to deal with the problem at hand, despite the fact that it was not my house and it was definitely not my party. I dialed 911.

  After phoning the police, I went into the house to let my clients know the sheriff was on his way. I found Mr. Erdman in his study, stretched out on a leather sofa, staring at the ceiling and clutching a bottle of Scotch. Sobs from the hallway indicated Mrs. Erdman had locked herself in the powder room.