Escapees and Fevered Minds

by David Owain Hughes

  Holding her firm with his immense grip, Mr. Tickles smiled his sharp-toothed grin and fixed her with his bloodshot eyes. “Let’s all try to play nice, is it?” he said in a low, eerie voice. “I’d hate to have to snap your neck, bitch!”

  She shrank away as she tried pulling her arms free. “Please, let me go!” Sam begged.

  “Do you promise to behave? Your sister will not harm you, if you do not make an attempt at her.”

  “You expect me to believe that?!” she spat.

  “It’s the truth, Sam!” Crystal said. “I didn’t come here to hurt you – I just want to know what this whole fucked up situation is about!”

  “I’ll make a deal with you here and now – for tonight only, we make a truce. But, once this evening is over and we are out of here, it’s back on between you and me!”

  “I can live with that,” Crystal said, and offered her hand, which Sam shook.

  “Am I safe to let you go, Sam?” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “Yes, of course. I always keep my word.”

  “For what it’s worth, you look beautiful,” Crystal said, wiping a tear from her eye.

  “Fit as fuck, I’d say!” Harry chirped in.

  “Who are you people?” Norm butted in. “Are you friends of Angharad?”

  “Don’t be a dipshit, Norm!”

  Crystal looked at the man standing behind a wheelchair – which was holding a skeleton. Is he talking to himself? she thought. “Are you feeling all right?” she asked.

  “Perfectly fine!” he said. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

  “Ignore that tart, Norm – or are you taken by her body?”

  “No, Angharad – I have eyes only for you, and you know that. I only went with those other women so I could help fix you,” he said.

  A silence fell in the room.

  Crystal looked at the other guests – their reactions mirrored one another, apart from Mr. Tickles, who walked up to Norm.

  “You do know you’re pushing a bag of bones around there, son, don’t you?!” he asked, and then laughed hysterically, causing the Sideshows to join in.

  “I don’t think it’s nice, you laughing at my wife. She doesn’t like being laughed at!” Norm shouted, his face solid with seriousness. Stepping from behind the wheelchair, he pressed his body against Mr. Tickles’. He may have been shorter than the clown, but Norm looked very chiseled, his jaw square. “Now, if you’ll apologise like I know you’re going to, I’m sure this whole matter can be forgotten.”

  “Bah-ha-ha-ha!” Mr. Tickles bellowed in Norm’s face. “You’re fucked in the head, man! I’m not saying sorry for Jack shit.” He gave Norm a slight push and turned his back on the man, who reminded Crystal of a stone.

  “Well, Daisy? Are you just going to stand there like a little girl wetting yourself, or are you going to be a man and do something about that overweight KoKo?!”

  Putting his hand on Mr. Tickles’ shoulder, Norm turned the clown around and punched him in the face with his free hand. Mr. Tickles head flew to one side but the rest of him didn’t move – a growl gathered in the pit of his stomach as a trickle of blood ran down his mouth.

  He licked it away as he stepped closer to Norm and looked down on him. “Is that all you’ve got, Nancy?!”

  Norm swung for the clown again, only to have his fist be caught in mid-air by Mr. Tickles’ huge open hand. It closed around Norm’s and squeezed. Clicking sounds ensued as Mr. Tickles compressed as hard as he could.

  “Ah, get off! You’re breaking my hand!” Norm whimpered.

  The clown smiled – his teeth were covered in blood.

  It took Olaf and Rotwiler to pull Mr. Tickles free of Norm, who crashed down onto the coffee table, which obliterated under his weight. He held his hand as he rolled about by Angharad’s feet.

  “Fucking pathetic!”

  “I suggest you stay down,” Mr. Tickles growled, “or you’ll get a pasting!”

  The bodyguards struggled to hold him back as Wadsworth stepped into the room.

  “Stop!” Wadsworth yelled. “What the bloody hell is going on in here?! I asked for no violence! You have nothing against each other.”

  “That’s a laugh!” Sam said.

  Crystal gave her a hard stare. “You promised!” she said, knowing she couldn’t fully trust her sister – she had to end her life, one way or another.

  Sam nodded, and then looked away.

  “You’ve broken the bloody table!” Wadsworth said. “That was brought back from the deepest parts of Congo!”

  “It’s a fucking coffee table!” Mr. Tickles said.

  “God! I can’t leave you lot unattended – could you all move into the dining area, please, before anything else is smashed? There you will find your first clue as to why you have all been gathered here this evening,” Wadsworth said, ushering them out of the room.

  “Aren’t you coming?” Crystal asked the butler.

  “Yes, of course,” he replied sharply, before taking another disgusted look at the demolished table. He rolled his eyes and said, “Bloody commoners!”

  “You got that right, doc!” Harry said. “Now can we please get this fucking freak show on the road? I’m getting splinters in my arse from all the waiting!”

  “Harry!” Crystal said, then followed after the others.

  “You two, with me!” Wadsworth instructed the guards before closing the doors to the lounge and following the guests to the dinning room.

  THE DINNER

  As they crowded around the massive dining table, which held ten guests and a seat at the head of the table for the master of the house, they all looked down at the printouts, which consisted of official documents, patient records and newspaper clippings.

  “What the hell are these?” someone asked.

  “No idea, but it looks weird,” answered someone else as a hubbub of voices started to grow in the room.

  “Please, please!” Wadsworth said, entering the room with his guards at his back. “If you could all find your place name and sit, that would be most marvellous!”

  “Just what the hell is going on?!” Crystal asked.

  “Yeah, what’s the big idea, Jeeves?” Harry asked.

  A few titters erupted around the room.

  “If you all sit, you’ll find out – you all have a print, which is a clue to why you are all here. Dinner will be served shortly,” he said. “Now please, sit.”

  “Are you our host?” Norm asked.

  “No – the host will be along after dinner. Your host is the main reason for you being here.”

  “Aren’t we a guest short?” Sideshow Nightshade asked.

  “Yes, Mr. Klaws,” Wadsworth said. “He should have been here by now, which is most disturbing. I just hope he hasn’t decided to run off into the night!”

  “Well, he does think it’s Christmas Eve!” Mr. Tickles said. “He’s probably out delivering presents.”

  “Whatever do you mean?” Sam asked.

  “Please, sit down and read your printouts – it will give you all an idea of what is going on!”

  As they took their seats, they all started to thumb through the sheets of paper. One of the articles caught Crystal’s and Harry’s attention, which sent them into hysterics.

  Experimentation and Escape: My Theory of the Castell Hirwaun Incident

  Blog Post

  by

  Kindra Sowder

  We’ve all heard about the three lunatics that have escaped from Castell Hirwaun: Norm Jenkins, Samantha Saunders, and “Santa Klaws” (true name unknown). There has been an outcry from the public about our safety and the lack of information given by news media, as shown by the following:

  “Help me!!! Anyone know anything of the hirwaun hospital break out?!!! Need to know where to go and who to contact if I see anything that looks out of order.”

  Ian Guliford – Facebook

  “Wtf! Did you hear about the escaped loonies? It bites that I had to hear it from the guy down the street and NOT from th
e news? Oh sure they mentioned it real quick but no details? Who are these people that are wandering around Hirwaun? Can kids play safely outside?”

  Nicole Platania – Facebook

  "Some psychos have apparently got out of the local nut house. Does this mean that it would OK if I answered the door to the next person who knocks by slammin them with a baseball bat?" Welcome to Hirwaun: where the old biddies who stick their nose into everyone's business are the safe ones because at least you know how dangerous they are"

  Catz Davies – Facebook

  One citizen even felt they would show their concerns with a small joke. I found it funny, but with so much fear in the community, how many would take it that way? Probably just trying to break the tension.

  “OMG the lunatics have left the building... lock your doors and windows and hide your underwear...!”

  Lynda Nashelle – Twitter

  While I am just as concerned as anyone else at this point, the lack of information that has been divulged to us has everyone on edge. All we know is that these people are out and about and nothing else, but why? What are they covering up? One citizen voices her opinion with this post:

  “What kind of idiots just loose three dangerous nut jobs? Why are we even keeping these psychos alive for that matter? My taxes paying for someone who could kill a bunch of people to have a free place to stay and be fed? Madness. Just euthanize the lot like you would to a dangerous dog!”

  Sarah Fisher – via Facebook

  She raises some great questions here. As we all know, the government has a tendency to do things we are unaware of, leaving us to speculate on their motives. This is no different. While euthanasia would probably be a great idea as far as the criminally insane that can’t be treated are concerned, I believe the doctors over there at Castell Hirwaun have other ideas. What are they?

  It’s quite simple. These doctors are responsible for treating these patients and it has been proven throughout history that there are the rare doctors that have ulterior motives to “better” treatment methods. How do they do this? Experimentation on the people that trust them. This moves into my theory.

  I have thought about this long and hard after seeing the very brief news bulletin about their so-called “escape.” These individuals could very well be dangerous; possibly even killers for all we know. I believe the doctors over at Castell Hirwaun decided to experiment on these three, who are undoubtedly suffering from an array of mental illness, to see how it would affect them and their mental state. It has also been said you can only get true results outside of a clinical setting, which is why sometimes there have been experiments based on observed data where the subject has no idea they are being studied.

  The only way for this to happen is for the doctors to set them loose, stand back, and watch as chaos unfolds. I’m not sure how they would’ve expected the public to react, but I cannot think of any other motive besides this. I only have a few words of advice for our citizens: Lock your doors, don’t go out unless you have to (especially after dark), and don’t answer the door for anyone. Let’s hope things don’t get too crazy before the doctors decide to reel their subjects back in.

  Other Information On the Reactions to Leaked News of a

  ‘Possible’ Escape at Castell Hirwaun. It would appear some are taking it with a pinch of salt:

  "Just heard there's a load of mentalists on the loose in Hirwaun. This place is full of mentalists on an average day, so they should fit in quite well...

  ...provided they can all see off a can of Stella in under five seconds and have an affinity for wanking in the park!"

  Martyn Grant – Facebook

  “Hirwaun crazys running wild they can just join the fucking rest of us lets get out there and buy those nutters a drink. Already got me and the boys together for a few drinks to see if we can meet up with them, Hey anyone know what these guys look like and if Santa Klaws is not in a big red suit my night will be ruined #PissupinHirwaun”

  Scott Holmes - Facebook

  “Ok, I thought I'd seen it all on this bus. I was so wrong. Some dude dressed like a freak show Santa Claus just hopped on. I actually bailed out before my regular stop and walked the rest of the way to work in the rain, he wigged me out THAT bad. Is there some kind of mad circus in town I haven't heard about? *shudders*”

  Sarah Dale – Facebook

  “I've just heard a buzzsaw in my attic followed by trademark lunatic escaping from the asylum giggling..I think I'm in serious trouble here..you'd better come quickly before they.... Oh. Holy hell-“

  Rose Garnett – A captured 999 Call (Unclear What Happened).

  “Don't understand how you can just 'lose' three people in this day and age. Can I hear you say 'conspiracy theory'???

  Why has Facebook got more info on these escaped loony bin inmates than the local news station? I'm genuinely getting worried here and no one with any authority seems to be able to tell me anything! Nothing seems to be getting done either; no extra police around, no advice or support, and no extra safety precautions! Are we all supposed to just sit here and let our little community become invaded by these psychos? Good to know I can trust in those supposed to keep me safe in an emergency...NOT!!!

  *Hirwaun mothers and fathers* Does anyone know if the schools are remaining open? Are you still sending your kids to school? Has anyone heard anything? Really don't feel safe having the little ones out of the house when no one seems to be telling me anything. Grrr!

  Thoughts are with those living near the escaped mental health patients #prayforhirwaun”

  Danielle Bowen – Personal Blog

  “Oh, that last one is a funny read!” Harry said. “Did you throw that one in for fun?”

  Wadsworth smiled and nodded. “Yes, I thought it would lighten the mood.”

  “What the hell is the rest of it though, Harry?” Crystal asked her wooden companion, who sat in his own chair beside her.

  “I have no idea, but that skeleton keeps winking at me!” he said.

  “Harry! Keep your voice down.”

  “Are you talking about my wife?!” Norm asked, getting up from his chair.

  This caused Mr. Tickles to stand up and ready himself in Crystal’s defence. “Sit down, Norm, or I’ll flatten you!” he said.

  “Huh!” Norm huffed. “You got lucky, my friend, that’s all that was in the other room!”

  “Oh, you think so, do you?! My, we are feeling brave, aren’t we!”

  “Wait a minute!” Crystal raised her voice so she could be heard over the two men arguing. “I think I’ve cracked it!”

  Norm and Mr. Tickles looked at her in surprise. “What are you talking about?” Norm asked.

  “Yeah, sis!” Sam said, managing to make the word ‘sis’ sound scornful. “Why don’t you tell us what this shit means?” She then threw her printout across the room.

  “What have you cracked, your pussy?!” Harry asked, turning to look at her.

  “He’s so adorable!” Sideshow Necrotic said.

  “So are your tits, honey!” he told her.

  “Oh, you’re a cheeky devil!” she said, giving Harry a wink.

  “Don’t you flirt with my man, bitch, or I’ll gut you!” Crystal said, picking up a knife from the table.

  Necrotic held her hands up in defence.

  “Crystal, calm down!” Mr. Tickles said.

  “Get your whore in line, then!” she warned him.

  “Norm, get me out of this place!”

  “I can’t, Angharad, not until we know what’s going on!” Norm said.

  “Well, I was about to put a big piece of the puzzle together, until you lot started piping up!” Crystal said. “If you’d all just shut up for a second, I can explain.”

  “Yes, why don’t you, Miss Saunders?” Wadsworth said, as he entered the room. “The others just want to fight, or so it would seem, and are totally oblivious to what is going on. But not you.”

  A hush fell over the room.

  “Why have you brought us
here, Wadsworth? Are you going to blackmail us – is that how you manage to keep such a fancy house?!”

  “Blackmail? You must be mad! I’ve brought you here to help you all!” he said.

  “Help?! Is that what you call it? I’ve been half-out of my mind with worry, and I’m sure the others have felt the same!”

  “Why?”

  “All this sneaking around and letters – it’s pretty fucking cloak and dagger, don’t you think? And a few of us are clearly in deep shit,” she said, holding up her printout.

  “What are you getting at, Crystal?” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “I’ve already seen some of this crap, such as the patient files and newspaper clippings…” she said before tossing the sheets of paper across the room. “You should have too, Mr. Tickles!”

  “Yes, I have, but what is it you think you know?” he pushed.

  Before she answered, she turned to her sister. “Samantha, I want—I’m sorry.”

  “Crystal, what are you fucking doing?!” Harry asked.

  “Oh, be quiet!” she snapped at him for the first time in their relationship. “From now on, I’m going to be the boss! And if you don’t fucking like it, I’ll throw you onto a fire and be done with it all!”

  A gasp came from Harry and Samantha.

  “But—”

  “But nothing! Shut up and listen, wooden dick – the rest of you, too!”

  “Wait until we get out of here, bitch!” Harry told her.

  “Harry, please! Be quiet!”

  “I—” Harry started, but Norm butted in.

  “Tell us what you think you know?!”

  “I don’t think I know, I do know. I see the link in these sheets, as I know my sister and spent time with the clown. I’m surprised the rest of you can’t see the link – it’s right there in front of you!”