Hart's Longing (Secrets In Idyll Wood Book 1)

by Marisa Masterson

  The man’s clothes looked like he’d slept in them. Hart recognized them as what he’d worn the night before. It mystified Hart when an obviously hesitant Zelly placed her hand in the crook of Ralph’s arm and left off with the scoundrel.

  So much for the promise I made myself last night. She would be alone with Ralph after all. At least, she would unless Hart thought fast and came up with an excuse to follow them.

  For a reason he couldn’t name, he didn’t want to appear like he was following the couple. Coming up with a quick excuse to leave the neighbors gathered after Sunday service, he grabbed little Sven’s hand. “Sven! Your mama says for me to take you home now.”

  With a comment tossed over his shoulder to Greta, he started toward the farm with the little boy pulling for the first dozen steps. “I wanna stay and play like Lars! No!”

  Sven continued yelling until Hart promised to bring him a candy stick the very next day. With a nod to Sven’s question of peppermint, he and Sven were off, shadowing Zelly and Ralph who had rounded a corner ahead and were already out of sight.

  “Let’s run Sven.” Hart looked down to see Sven’s white blonde head nod at the suggestion. Even with the scorching heat, they took off at a fast trot.

  Though he felt sure that the little guy’s short legs would have trouble keeping up, Hart couldn’t slow down. Panic nipped at the back of his neck and settled deep in the pit of his gut.

  Frustrated at losing sight of the couple, he couldn’t keep himself from increasing his pace. Hart felt a pull on his hand and looked down into the red face of the six-year-old. “Up, please!”

  He stooped, and once Sven’s thin arms were around his neck, they were off again. With cries of “faster” from Sven, he ran as Sven bobbed up and down, clinging like a burr to him.

  Jogging at a fast clip, Hart almost fell backwards when he rounded a corner and saw the couple. They had stopped about 50 or so feet in front of him.

  Zelly pulled backwards, trying to get away from a laughing Ralph. He yanked her toward the woods bordering the road.

  Her repeated “No!” held great terror. Hart none too gently dropped Sven and ran the remaining distance. Closing in on them, he launched himself at the surprised would-be rapist.

  “Want me to pull you into the woods, you rat?” Spittle flew from his mouth and hit Ralph in the eye.

  Ralph must have been stunned by his sudden appearance since he didn’t say anything or fight back at first. Then Ralph began to push against him, trying to get his arm free to punch Hart.

  That response fueled Hart’s need to punish. Already on top of him from when he’d landed on Ralph, Hart smashed his fist into the villain’s nose.

  It was already crooked from previous fights. He wished he could have been the one to make the nose off center. He wanted to somehow mark Ralph. He posed a sinister danger to women, if the stories Manny told were to be believed.

  With one blow, Ralph crumpled the short distance backward into the grassy bank alongside of the road. “You’re not winning that bet today, you no good....”

  A pull on his arm caused him to turn quickly. All fight drained from him when he realized that Zelly was frightened by him.

  Her face was a sickly white. She covered her eyes with trembling hands and begged, “Please stop! Home. I need to go home.” Then she was racked by sobs.

  Sven, standing just behind her with his hands gripping her skirt, also cried noisily. Leaving Ralph lying in the weeds with a bleeding nose, he lifted Sven and offered his arm to her. She shied away, shaking her head.

  “Has that rotten scoundrel scared you so bad you can’t touch me Zelly? It’s me Hart!” He crooned the words like he would have done to a frightened animal. “Your friend. Take my arm.”

  She acted justifiably skittish after her terrible scare. Still it made him happy when she laid three fingers on his arm. Well, it was a start he supposed as they started off down the road.

  He could feel trembling through those fingers. He wanted to return to Ralph and blacken both his eyes. For a man who had never been in a school yard fight, He was certainly eager to brawl with him.

  After listening to their bet yesterday, he was certain Ram and Ralph believed Zelly to be defenseless and easy to molest. Now, he had sent a message that she had a protector, even if Rebecca was no longer in town.

  Hart wondered if this might change their plans. He hoped they called off the obscene bet.

  Hopefully, Manny would be in a talkative mood the next day at work. Manny was sure to hear something before tomorrow. Ram must have been somewhere nearby in the wood. After all, they had planned to have one of them watching while the other did the deed.

  “Can you talk about what happened?” Again he used that coaxing tone with her. It seemed to work since she began to talk.

  Her voice sounded tremulous at first. She took a deep breath and it gained strength as she told him the reason she left with Ralph.

  “He asked to walk me home. I was surprised since he’s always nasty to me, but I just went along with him.” Zelly shook her head at herself and gripped Hart’s arm now with her whole hand.

  “But why did you go with him?” Hart’s tone conveyed his bemusement. He could not imagine what would convince her to spend time with known a bully.

  “I’ve always thought that if one of the bullies from school was nice to me, it I might be worth something. You know like, I was worth his time.”

  Hart wanted to interrupt her, to tell her how worthwhile he thought she was. Instead he stayed silent and let her speak. “So I guess you could say I went with him because I was flattered.” Her words ended with a soft sob.

  For a few minutes they walked on in silence. Hart gave her time to gather her thoughts. After a few minutes, he encouraged her to continue with her story.

  “After walking a while, Ralph said he wanted to get out of the heat of the day. He said it might be nice to sit under a tree and get to know each other real well.”

  She stopped and her face reddened. Hart sensed that she was realizing then what Ralph had meant by getting to know her well. The worm certainly wasn’t subtle around women, Hart thought as he stifled a snort of disgust.

  “I said that I needed to go straight home or Ma’am would be angry with me. He acted like he didn’t hear me, just started pulling me toward the woods.”

  At that comment, Zelly looked hesitantly toward the woods that were to her left. Hart stopped, shifting Sven to his other arm and moving her hand to his right arm so that he, instead of she, walked next to the woods.

  After he switched her to his other arm, Zelly flashed a brief smile of thanks in Hart’s direction. When he glanced into her face, he saw that her eyes seemed almost haunted.

  As they continued walking, she told him more. When she finished her story, he understood the haunted look in her blue eyes. “That’s when I started screaming and yanking back on him. I realized he wanted to hurt me in a way Mrs. Hoffman had warned me about.”

  With a half sob-half groan she squeezed his arm, hard. “Oh Hart, what if you hadn’t come along? I’m afraid I’d go crazy if a man did that to me.” Stopping, she buried her face into her hands and let loose the sobs that she’d been trying to swallow.

  Hart learned an important lesson that afternoon. Being a protector sometimes meant holding the woman you loved to allow her to cry out her sorrows.

  Chapter 4

  She had been upset. Hart made this excuse to himself later for not telling Zelly about the bet. Still, he wondered at her statement that she’d found Ralph’s attention flattering

  The whole concept of longing for acceptance didn’t make sense to Hart. When he’d been younger, many neighbors looked askance at his family. Probably because of Father’s drinking.

  Some of the people of Idyll Wood still treated him like a stranger, even after living here for almost 10 years. None of that, though, made him want to run with a bad crowd.

  So why had she been flattered? And why did he long for such a t
imid girl who was easily complimented and coerced?

  He knew that was the more important question to consider. The simple answer was he just did. Perhaps life was like that.

  Enough rumination! It was time for bed. He had to be up an hour earlier the next morning.

  He planned to spend time with Zelly after she arrived and before he left for his job. That was the next step in his plan. The thought sent him off to sleep with a smile on his face.

  Monday morning, Zelly rose before the sun, excited to be away from home and Ma’am for the day at least. Quickly, she pulled on her oldest dress of faded blue calico.

  Though she often left it down, today she pinned up her hair wanting it out of her way while she worked. With a last look in the mirror at her hair, she tiptoed into the kitchen and moved quietly so Ma’am’s sleep wasn’t disturbed.

  Taking care not to rattle anything, she started the coffee. It had to be ready when Ma’am when got up. Ada Fuller had insisted on that since she was old enough to reach everything necessary for brewing it.

  Ada’s oatmeal cooked slowly during the night at the back of the cook stove so that stood ready for her. Finally, she could leave, and it felt freeing.

  With a hand on the door, all she needed to do was turn the knob to leave. I could even pretend I’m running away forever.

  “Zelly! I want to talk to you.”

  Talk at me was more like it. She froze with her hand still on the door knob.

  “I want to know how much you’ll earn. Ask Greta Hoffman today. Find out if she will pay you at the end of each day.”

  Ma’am shook a bony finger in her direction. “And don’t forget to keep your mouth shut. People like you shouldn’t bother others.”

  A door slammed in Zelly’s head, reminding her she was doomed to remain in this house until one of them died. She was tempted to slam the back door as she left. Fear of punishment and years of training kept her from venting her anger like that, though, just as that training kept her from running away.

  It was a short trip across fields to the Hoffman home. Zelly ran. She didn’t need to hurry. Running seemed to diffuse some of the terrible anger she felt at Ma’am’s allusion to the type of person she thought Zelly to be.

  She ran through the pasture and past the cow pond where she and Rebecca had often swum as young girls. The sight of it sparked a parade of memories in her head, creating an intense longing for her friend. She picked up her speed, racing through the fields.

  By the time she arrived at the Hoffman porch, she was gasping for breath. Hart must have been waiting for her since he spooked her by rising from a chair on the porch and running toward her.

  “Did someone chase you? Where is he?” His words hinted at protectiveness that only Rebecca had shown toward Zelly.

  Shaking her head, she gulped air and tried to speak. “No one. Just wanted to…” She bent over from exertion and managed only a few words.

  Gently taking her arm, he guided her up the porch steps. After helping her to one of the old kitchen chairs placed there, he gave that same arm a soft pat and sat in a chair next to hers.

  “I wanted to talk to you today anyhow. It’s about Ralph and what happened yesterday…”

  With a violent shake of her head, she interrupted him. “No, I don’t want to think about it.”

  She felt tenderness in his touch as Hart placed a finger under her chin. He raised her face so that she was looking into his pleading green eyes.

  “Zelly, I know something I haven’t told you. I’m afraid for you because of, well, a bet that Ralph and Ram made a couple of nights ago.” His eyes willed her to respond.

  “I’m not sure what that means. What does their bet have to do with me?” She knew genuine confusion. By Hart’s expression, she assumed he thought she should understand. Even that expression puzzled her.

  Hart sighed against her cheek. Then he shocked her by placing a soft kiss on the same spot. “I just want to protect you. Would you promise not to be alone with Ram or Ralph?”

  The tender scene was over. With a loud voice she yelled, “I would never go off alone with either of them. Not after yesterday. What do you think…?” Indignation swamped her. The strong emotion must be a reaction to her race across the fields. She rarely laid bare her anger.

  Giving a soft “Shhh!” He tenderly stroked her arm. Even this light touch started a tingling of awareness in her.

  She’d noticed this reaction when Hart touched her. “Calm down. I’m not trying to insult you.”

  With a show of irritation, she shrugged off his hand. Maybe her confusing physical response to him caused her to move away from his touch. She wasn’t sure.

  She only knew that he provoked emotions in her that no one else caused. “You didn’t explain the bet.” She lowered her voice. However, indignation left it frosty.

  Hart’s face was red. Shame at asking for her promise or was something else embarrassing him? He no longer met her eyes and nervously cleared his throat.

  “I’d rather not explain it all. It’s something a certain kind of man talks about.” He followed that up with more throat clearing as he stared in the direction of the fields.

  Both were silent for several moments. She replayed the conversation now that she felt calmer. She needed to find out what Ram might do.

  “You wanted a promise about Ram. I want to give it. It’s just…”

  “Talk to me Zelly. Why your interest in Ram?” His was back under her chin so that once again they were blue eyes to green eyes.

  Would quiet, confident Hart understand?

  “It’s, well, that I am so angry. He did so many nasty things to me when we were younger.”

  She felt her fists clench. “I keep thinking if I can hurt him somehow, I will finally have a happy life.”

  Hart’s face moved closer. “Zelly, maybe knowing you are loved will give you a happy life.”

  The touch of his soft lips on hers more shocked than alarmed her. He gently brushed his mouth against hers. Before she could decide to relax and enjoy it, her first kiss was over.

  As he pulled back from her, she stared at his mouth. She couldn’t say a thing.

  Hart, however, had a speech prepared. “I won’t apologize for doing something that I think both of us wanted. I know I’ve wanted to kiss you almost since I first noticed you as a woman, about five years ago.”

  Was he really interested in her? The kiss had felt right, like finding something that she had been looking for.

  He folded his hands around hers. She loved the warmth he brought to her hands and her stomach as well.

  A door in her mind opened to new idea. Hart might approve of her and could, maybe, someday love her.

  The back door opened behind them and she heard Mrs. Hoffman’s voice. “Zelly, I’m glad you’re here. Come. Help with breakfast.”

  As she rose from the chair, she looked into Hart’s face. Disappointment and frustration were plainly evident.

  Is it because he wanted to kiss me again or because I didn’t promise about Ram?

  Would I have let him kiss me again? Remembering the kiss ignited a warm feeling inside of her. That feeling definitely confirmed she’d let him kiss her again.

  Entering by the back door of the house, she paused when she heard him snapping angrily at Mrs. Hoffman. “Why did you interrupt? I really think I was making progress!”

  Hart reminded her of the rope on the swing hung from an oak tree behind the Hoffman house. She and Rebecca would wind it around and around before letting it fly free, laughing as it unwound quickly. He seemed wound tight like that.

  Mrs. Hoffman’s low chuckle did nothing to ease his upset if his response was anything to go by. “I heard you talk about kissing her. That’s fast moving for that poor sheltered girl.”

  Sighing with resignation, he reluctantly forced the irritation from his voice. “I suppose, but I knew it was the right moment. I want her as my wife so badly. What should I do?”

  He wants to marry me? That
will change once he realizes I’m not a decent sort of person.

  Greta spoke soothingly. “You let the girl think about what you’ve told her. Give her time.” Mrs. Hoffman has always been so motherly.

  He snorted at that. “I’ve only got two weeks before I have to be in Cashton to start work.” Peering out the window next to the door, she saw him grab Mrs. Hoffman’s hand and look into her face.

  “Tante Greta. I am going to tell her about my father and that you’re my aunt. She needs to know my family’s history.”

  A chair leg scraping on the porch startled her into motion. She rushed to the cook stove, hoping to quickly busy herself with something.

  Since nothing cooked on the stove’s top, she stirred up the coals and pulled the largest iron skillet to the front of the stove. She would start bacon frying.

  “Leave that Zelly. I need you to hash potatoes.” Mrs. Hoffman had entered soundlessly behind her. Zelly whirled and tried not to look as guilty as she felt after having eavesdropped on a private conversation.

  “Where’s Hart? I wanted to ask him something.” Her voice was high as she spoke. She felt desperate to speak with him after the kiss and the conversation she’d overheard.

  Her employer waved her hand dismissively. “He’s off to work early. Something about speaking with Mr. Strong before the bank opened.”

  Determinedly, Mrs. Hoffman changed the subject. “Let’s talk about what I need from you today.”

  “Yes, Mrs. Hoffman.” She listened as the woman spoke about gardening and laundry.

  Her guilt at eavesdropping grew with every minute that passed and each task she finished before breakfast. By the time the men of the family left the breakfast table, she felt fair to bursting with that guilt.

  Alone now with her employer, she cleared her throat to confess. She couldn’t bear this feeling of wrong doing. “I’m sorry!”

  She hadn’t meant for the apology to be so loud. She twitched as her tone even startled herself.

  Mrs. Hoffman whirled from the sink and hurried back to the table. Standing alongside Zelly, she wrapped an arm around her.