Lost and Found Family

by Jennifer Ryan

  “That’s a bit complicated.” But Sarah’s heart leaped at the thought of being with Luke all the time. They just needed to figure out the logistics because she and the boys loved the home they’d made. It was close to her work. And while she could work remotely sometimes, she was still needed in the office.

  They’d have to figure out a compromise between here and there.

  “Maybe it’s time to make your life less complicated and enjoy the happiness you’ve found with him.” A lopsided frown tilted Margaret’s lips. “You probably don’t want advice from me, but I wish I’d appreciated more the good things the men in my life brought me than always focusing on inconsequential things I used to drive a wedge between us. I know you’ve put everything into the business, but don’t let work keep you from having what you really want. What really matters.”

  Sarah felt that way when she and Sean were together. He wanted her to work harder. She wanted to be a mother and make a happy family with him. Yes, she got a great deal of satisfaction from her job, but she found deeper meaning in being a mom. It filled that hole in her, her childhood had left after everyone related to her either abandoned, betrayed, or died on her.

  Margaret pressed her lips tight. “If Luke makes you happy, then I’m happy for both of you. For what it’s worth.”

  Sarah wanted to say it didn’t matter. But it touched her that after all the anger and resentment Margaret heaped on her, she now wished her well.

  “Thank you, Margaret.” She hesitated, then spoke her fear. “I hope Luke’s family feels the same.”

  Margaret’s gaze fell to the floor, then met hers again. “They’re going to love you because they’ll see what I denied all this time. You’re strong and resilient, a good mother, kind, caring, and thoughtful. And when you love, you make the time to show that to the people in your life.” Margaret surprised her with a hug. “Thank you for taking care of me. I appreciate it more than I can say.”

  Sarah gently squeezed Margaret. “I only did what I thought was right.”

  Margaret stepped back and grinned. “Even if you didn’t think I deserved it.”

  Sarah tilted her head. “Well, you didn’t. But I hoped, someday, we’d end up here.”

  “For the boys,” Margaret added. “I’m sorry it took me so long to do right by them. And you.”

  “You needed to grieve.”

  “And I’ll be doing it again now that I know about Sean. It’s hard to let go of the life I thought he was living and the one I wanted for him.”

  Sarah understood that all too well, because while she’d been upset that her children lost their father, she’d grieved harder for the loss of the dream life she thought she’d have with Sean and their boys than she had for the man himself.

  “Go. Rest. There’s plenty of time before dinner.”

  “And let me guess, you have some work to do.” This time there was no reproach in Margaret’s words, just understanding that Sarah had responsibilities.

  “Yes.”

  Margaret nodded in acknowledgment and headed out of the kitchen for her room.

  Sarah put away the last of the groceries, checked on the boys, and settled in front of her laptops to get some work done.

  It took her a few minutes to settle in. She worried about what Bridget would have to say and feel about the brother she also didn’t see for who he really was and adored just as much as Margaret had.

  Disillusioning them made her heart ache.

  She blamed Sean for yet another thing he left for her to clean up.

  Her phone dinged with a text. She sighed and picked it up, bracing for yet another request for her to do something.

  Luke: Miss you. Wish you were here.

  Luke: Do you want double chocolate cake or cheesecake for dessert at Sunday dinner?

  Sarah: Miss you too and both! Duh! ☺

  Luke: All I want is you.

  Sarah: Sweet!!! ♥

  And just like that, her whole mood changed and her heart filled with love and anticipation. She couldn’t wait to see Luke. And meeting his family seemed like a small thing if it meant she and Luke took another step toward her dream of a future she’d thought would never look like what she wanted but now felt very close to coming true.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Sarah watched from the back patio as the boys batted the shuttlecock back and forth over the net of the new badminton set she set up after lunch. She’d put out a few snacks and a pitcher of lemonade. Her stomach tied itself in a knot as she waited for Bridget and Sophia to arrive.

  Sarah remembered the looks of anger and disappointment in Bridget’s eyes yesterday when Sarah had told the truth about Sean.

  And, yet, for some reason she couldn’t stop thinking that Bridget knew far more than Margaret ever did about Sean’s real life. If that were the case, why did she stay silent all these years as well?

  Margaret was still processing her grief, but they’d had a good talk yesterday. They were moving toward putting the past behind them. Sarah wanted to try to do the same with Bridget.

  “Hi, Aunt Sarah.” Sophia rushed down the back steps to the patio.

  Bridget followed, looking anything but ready to put the past to rest, judging by her narrowed gaze and the firm line of her lips.

  “Hi. Do you want a snack?”

  “I’m okay.” Sophia watched Jack launch the shuttlecock into a bush. “I’ll help him get that out.”

  “There’s a spare racket in the box next to the net.”

  Sophia ran to help Jack retrieve the shuttlecock.

  Sarah stared up at Bridget from her seat. “We need to talk.”

  Bridget gripped the back of the chair she stood behind. “I don’t really have anything to say to you.”

  “Are you sure? Because the expressions on your face yesterday said a lot.”

  Bridget pulled out the chair and poured a glass of lemonade. Her hands trembled, giving away how unsettled this visit made her. “I was stunned to find out all those things about Sean and that you’d made all that money for Mom.” But not for her.

  Sarah heard that last part loud and clear, even if Bridget was too chicken to say it. She thought she deserved a piece of the money Sarah had made. Bridget had received an inheritance from her father just like Sean. Bridget and her husband had bought a house and started the construction business. Then they’d had some lean years when the economy tanked and no one was building new construction. The money had run out, which must have put a terrible strain on their marriage.

  Sarah could relate.

  “I did that for her because she lost her son.”

  “You know, I lost my brother. As for Mom, you wanted to buy your way out of your guilt for what you’d done.”

  “What did I do?” She really wanted to know what Bridget thought happened.

  “He gave you everything you wanted and still it wasn’t enough.”

  “What did he give me that I wanted other than the boys?”

  Bridget didn’t look so sure of herself anymore. “The company.”

  “Sean wanted to start that. We both had a dozen very lucrative offers from the government and private sector after college. We would have made a ton more money than we did those early years when we started the business. I would have worked less and been happy to have a normal work and home life.”

  Bridget tried again. “Sean wanted to build something.”

  “He wanted to be rich. There’s a difference. Building something takes a lot of hard work. Granted, in the beginning, he tried, but he much preferred going out with clients and being the big shot.”

  “That’s because he wanted to get away from you.”

  “You seem to think I was some shrew to him. Is that really the kind of person you think I am? You saw us together more than Margaret did when we first got married. Did it seem like I was nagging him, or pushing him, or . . . I don’t know, just being a bitch?”

  Bridget pressed her lips tight. “No,” she reluctantly admitted. “I used t
o think you tried too hard for his attention and took too much from him.”

  Sarah couldn’t believe she’d say that after all the hostility. “I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to keep the peace. I wanted us to be partners and connect like we did when we first met and got married. He swept me off my feet. I wanted to know where that Sean had gone. So yeah, after a while, I stopped taking it. I stopped pretending that he didn’t really mean the awful things he said to me or the way he at other times ignored me. I thought things would get better. But they didn’t. It got worse.”

  Bridget stared off into the distance. “You snipe at each other because of frustrations and resentments. You think, He knows I don’t really mean it. I don’t think he really means it. But it adds up and builds until you look at him and he looks at you and you’ve turned into someone you don’t want to be and neither of you knows how to fix it.”

  Sarah reached across the table and put her hand over Bridget’s, feeling all the wild emotions she saw in Bridget’s eyes. Anger. Regret. Guilt. Confusion. “And it all falls apart.”

  Bridget nodded, slipped her hand free, and crossed her arms over her chest. “At first, I believed all the things Sean said about you. I hated you for treating him so badly and making him unhappy. The more I sympathized, the more he poured it on, until . . .”

  “You couldn’t believe I was actually that awful?”

  “You were always so kind and even-tempered. You were always nice to me. You always seemed interested in our life. I remember the way you were with Sophia. You lit up around her. You talked to her like she was a mini-adult and played with her like you relished the opportunity to be a child, too.”

  “I never really had a childhood.”

  “I know. So I wondered why you’d sabotage your relationship with Sean when it always seemed like you wanted to please him. It didn’t make sense. I thought maybe you’d found someone else and Sean was too prideful to admit it. But then he’d talk about the things he was doing, trips he’d taken. He’d slip and say we did this or that.”

  “And you knew I wasn’t the other half of that ‘we.’”

  “I didn’t want to believe it. I never thought he was that guy. And you were pregnant with Jack . . .”

  Sarah sat up. “Wait. What?”

  Bridget’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t know.”

  Sarah knew about Trish from their office. She didn’t know about anyone before Trish and at this point she didn’t want to know any details. Her chest went tight. A new wave of anger and hurt washed through her. “I guess I only knew about one of his affairs.”

  Bridget sighed. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Do you know how many?” In a way, Sarah didn’t want to know, but it was better to learn it all now and move on.

  “When I asked, he brushed off those ‘we’s.’ He’d say he meant a colleague who attended a meeting with him. A client he took out to impress. But I knew he was lying even as I tried to convince myself he’d never do that.” Bridget twisted her lips into a frustrated frown. “I don’t know exactly how many. I know it went on both times you were pregnant. And while it’s completely unfair of me, I blamed you, thinking that you used your pregnancy to distance yourself physically from him during that time. I know some women don’t like sex when they’re pregnant. Some men aren’t into it either. It’s your choice. But Sean told me he resented the months you were pregnant because you two didn’t . . . And he felt abandoned.”

  Sarah fumed. “Well, didn’t he play that up for sympathy with you? Not that it’s any of your business, but I never denied Sean during that time with Jack. Leading up to getting pregnant with Nick, we barely touched each other, except when we were yet again trying to put the marriage back together. Which usually meant he needed me to complete some huge project to bring in a big payday. Once I was pregnant, Sean stopped pretending to try to hold the marriage together at all and I knew he’d moved on.”

  “I knew it was the end for me and Rob when I started noticing the way his eyes wandered to other women when we were out. He didn’t see me as the woman he wanted anymore and it seemed no matter how hard we tried to get back to that place where we loved and wanted each other, we just couldn’t get there. So before one of those lingering looks turned into something more, I asked him for the divorce. I couldn’t stand to think he’d betray me like that and just thinking that maybe he would tore me to shreds. I can’t imagine how you felt knowing Sean was with someone else.”

  “It killed everything between us. I was crushed and devastated even though I saw it coming. I grieved for what I thought we had and what I wished we could have been. I was angry and hurt, but that was nothing compared to the fury and anguish I felt when he started seeing someone from the office openly.”

  Bridget sat quietly for a moment, then whispered, “Trish.”

  “Yes,” Sarah confirmed. “I take it Sean didn’t hide her from you either.”

  “I only speculated about the others even if the evidence was pretty clear. But with Trish . . . Sean talked about how you’d pushed him into her arms. How you were happy to be rid of him but refused to give him a divorce without a huge payout.”

  “There was nothing left to take at that point.”

  Bridget nodded. “I know that now.” She stared out at the kids for a long moment, and without looking at Sarah asked, “Do you know what happened to her after the accident?”

  Sarah held her breath. “What do you mean?”

  Bridget finally looked at her. “I know she was in the car.”

  “And still you blamed me for Sean’s death when you knew he had a mistress and had practically left us?”

  “He knew how to shift the blame. I’m ashamed to say, I fell for most of it.”

  “And you never said anything to your mom about what you knew about Sean?”

  “I didn’t think she’d want to know that her son turned out to be a serial cheater.” Bridget pressed her lips tight again. “And I blamed you. If he wasn’t happy at home, that was your fault.” She held up her hand. “I know. Blame the wife when the husband is the one doing the cheating . . . Not fair. I get it. But he was my brother.”

  Sarah sucked in a breath and tried to contain her anger.

  Bridget drew back one side of her mouth. “I have a lot of pent-up anger—about Sean, Rob, that my life sucks. I took it mostly out on you because . . .” She threw up her hands and let them fall. “It was easier to be mad at you when it came to Sean.” Bridget eyed her. “And maybe I was a little jealous when you showed up in a new SUV, looking like that . . .” Bridget waved her hand back and forth over the table at her. “Do you have to be so pretty? And nice? And not a bitch? I’m pretty sure Sophia is hoping you’ll adopt her. Seriously, she never shuts up about you.”

  Bridget didn’t relax as she continued. She grew tenser and leaned forward. “Anyway . . . what do you know about the baby?”

  Sarah’s heart stopped. “What baby?”

  Bridget tilted her head. “Come on. You know. You have to know.”

  Sarah found it hard to breathe. “I don’t know.” But now she did.

  “Trish’s baby,” Luke said, walking up beside them.

  Bridget’s gaze fell.

  Sarah turned to Luke. “You knew about this and you didn’t say anything?”

  Luke held up both hands. “I thought you knew. When you found out I investigated Sean—”

  “You what?” Bridget glared at Luke.

  “Your mother asked me to investigate Sarah. To get a better understanding, I also looked into Sean’s life.” Luke turned his focus to Sarah. “When we talked about it, I told you I knew about him. You assumed I meant the car accident and the affair with Trish.”

  “And others, according to Bridget,” she added.

  “Bastard,” Luke spat out. “No, I hadn’t discovered those. But I assumed that because you knew about the affair with Trish, you also knew about the baby. Today, when you said you paid off the accident victims after Sean’s crash, I assumed
you paid off Trish not only to keep her quiet about the affair, but also to compensate her for the baby she was carrying but Sean wasn’t here to support.”

  Sarah didn’t know what to say or how to feel about any of this. “You and I need to work on our communication.”

  Luke looked contrite. “I’m sorry. I wanted to leave Sean in the past and focus on our future. I didn’t want to dredge all this up with you because I thought you didn’t want to be reminded about Sean’s betrayal and the child that came from it.”

  Sarah sighed out her frustration and tried to think. “That child is my sons’ sibling.”

  “Their sister,” Bridget supplied. “Jamie. And I didn’t know for sure she belonged to Sean.” She turned to Luke. “Are you sure she’s his?”

  Luke tucked his hands in his pockets. “When my investigator told me about her, I had him pull the birth certificate. Sean is listed as the father. I suppose she could have lied about that, but given her behavior—not asking for anything more—that wouldn’t make sense. It just doesn’t seem like she’s after money.”

  “Why didn’t she ever come to me and tell me?” Sarah didn’t understand why Trish would hide it.

  “I wouldn’t want to face my lover’s wife and tell her that I had her dead husband’s child.” Okay, so Bridget had a point.

  Sarah needed to get her brain wrapped around this. If Sarah didn’t know about the baby, and Luke only found out through an investigation . . . She held Bridget’s gaze. “How did you know about the baby?”

  “After the accident, I wondered about Trish. She loved Sean. I thought that maybe I’d reach out to her. I kinda . . . you might say . . . I stalked her on Facebook.” Bridget glanced away, then back at Sarah. “She should really keep her stuff private instead of public. Someone in the tech industry should know that.”

  “Everyone should know that by now,” Sarah shot back.

  Bridget frowned. “She posted pictures of a baby shower, and soon after, pictures of Jamie. She’s beautiful. Looks like Sean. And Nick,” she added. “I thought I was sure about Jamie being Sean’s, but then Trish got engaged and posted pics of the guy, the ring, and the proposal. I couldn’t ignore Jamie’s resemblance to Sean, but I didn’t want to be wrong, so I watched the Facebook account but never reached out to her.”