The Hang Up (First Impressions)

by Tawna Fenske

  From his peripheral vision, Jason could see the execs shifting a little in their seats, but Jason kept his gaze on Miriam.

  “Do you still have that proposal?” he asked.

  “We do,” Miriam replied. “Back at the start of this contract, I even mocked up several new logos and some ad concepts I could pull up fairly easily.”

  There was an uncomfortable murmur around the room, and Jason glanced over at his executive team. The accounting director was scowling and fidgeting, and Jason wondered if the little weasel had some sort of bug up his butt.

  The man cleared his throat and looked at Holly. “This meeting is confidential, correct?”

  “That’s right, Rex,” she said, not batting an eyelash. “All our meetings are confidential. Is there something you wanted to share?”

  Rex pushed his laptop shut and regarded them with a stern expression. “Look, let’s not beat around the bush here. Urban Trax has been bleeding money for the last three quarters, and our stock took a major hit after the whole embezzling scandal.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Holly said.

  Miriam folded her hands on the table and looked a little like she might want to hit someone.

  Jason could relate.

  Rex kept talking. “The board of directors is poised to eliminate two hundred jobs within the next quarter unless we can turn things around. Perhaps now isn’t the time to be screwing around with experimental rebranding.”

  Jason opened his mouth to tell the guy to pull his head out of his ass, but Miriam spoke first. “With all due respect, sir, that’s precisely the time to do a major rebrand. The company needs fresh blood, fresh ideas, a fresh approach to business. A signal to your consumers that you’re ready to play ball.”

  She looked at Jason, who had to admit Miriam’s way of telling the guy to pull his head out of his ass was probably more effective than his would have been.

  Beside her, Holly spoke. “It’s what we’ve been urging Urban Trax to consider,” she said. “A thorough rebrand, as opposed to slightly new spins on old ideas.”

  “Now that sounds like a plan,” Jason said, and he tamped down his anger over hearing this goddamn layoff idea for the first time in a marketing meeting instead of in a private briefing in his own office. Rex Rutherford was either clueless or a total prick. Probably both, which could be a dangerous combination.

  Jason picked up his pen to jot the first words in his new notebook.

  Figure out how to beat corporate assholes at their own game.

  Not the most professional note in the world, but a good thing to have on his to-do list as a new CEO.

  He flipped the notebook closed and turned back to Miriam and laid his hands flat on the table. “You still have the original concepts you worked up for Urban Trax? The ones that represent a dirtier, edgier approach you’re talking about?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Well then, let’s see what you’ve got.”

  Miriam licked her lips. “I’d be happy to show you.”

  …

  It was well after five o’clock, but Miriam and Holly were still hunched over their laptops in the conference room, debriefing over a dish of gummy penises left behind by a client specializing in adult-themed edibles.

  Holly frowned at her screen as she nibbled the tip of a green gummy. “If we shift the Sunstone Lemonade account to Curtis and put Erica in charge of hiring the voice talent for those Visit Portland radio spots—”

  “And maybe we could fast-track things on hiring that new account rep,” Miriam mused. She scrolled through her too-full calendar. She really needed to budget time for things like peeing and sleeping. “Also, we should probably put Sierra or Brandon on the production team for the Rosewood Pianos account.” She grabbed a strawberry-flavored gummy dick, popped it in her mouth, and chewed as she moved her cursor over the page.

  “Right,” Holly said as she glanced up from her laptop. “If we do all that and shuffle the Anderson marketing plan to next month, we might be able to devote the time they need to this new direction on the Urban Trax project.”

  “You mean the new old direction? The one we should have gone with in the first place?”

  “At least they’re considering taking our advice this time,” Holly said.

  “Yeah, thanks to Jason.” Saying his name sent a shiver of pleasure through her body, but she ordered herself to stay focused on work. She started to reach for another gummy dick, but she folded her hands on the table instead. “I still can’t believe Urban Trax is in that much financial trouble.”

  “It makes sense, though, doesn’t it?” Holly said. “I mean with the embezzling thing and with the way they were already in a downslide before they came to us.”

  “Yeah, but to have to lay off that many people?”

  Holly shrugged and grabbed another piece of candy. “I don’t think they remembered to brief the new CEO before today’s meeting. Did you see the look on his face when Rex Rutherford mentioned the layoff?”

  “Yeah,” Miriam mused, remembering Jason Sanders’s stunned expression. “It wasn’t much different from how he looked when my cat barged in on him naked.”

  Holly snort-laughed and nearly knocked over her glass of ice water. “God, what are the odds? Seriously—the hot naked guy in your bathroom turns out to be the new CEO for one of our biggest clients.”

  “Definitely a crazy coincidence. Also, I totally lied. The look on his face in that meeting was way different from the look he had when he caught me staring at his junk.”

  “I can only imagine.”

  Miriam’s brain took a detour down Pervert Lane at the memory of all that glorious man-flesh on display in her bathroom. Jason Sanders looked like he’d been digitally enhanced in all the right places.

  Some places more than others.

  She found herself grinning at the memory, both of the meeting and the encounter in the bathroom. “It was great to see him stand up to those stuffed shirts on day one. I knew before today’s meeting that the guy had huge balls,” she mused. “It was nice to see him prove it in front of everyone.”

  “Thank you.”

  Both women jumped at the sound of a male voice. Miriam looked up to see Jason standing in the doorway, wearing a snug T-shirt, a pair of running shorts, and a smug smile.

  Heat crept into Miriam’s cheeks as Holly gaped at him.

  “Tell me you didn’t just hear that,” Miriam said as Jason continued to grin from the doorway.

  “No can do.” He unfolded his arms to reveal a chiseled chest that made Miriam want to rake her fingernails down his torso. As though reading her thoughts, he grinned wider and strode into the conference room. “But thanks, by the way.”

  “No problem,” Miriam muttered, shaking her head. “How did you get in here, anyway?”

  “My fault,” Holly said, finding her voice at last. “I left the door unlocked because Ben’s coming to take me to dinner. Actually, that’s probably him now.” She glanced down at her phone, then got the same goofy, love-struck grin she’d had from the first day she’d met her new husband. She looked at Jason and grimaced. “Sorry about that. I swear we’re usually very professional with our clients.”

  “It’s after hours.” Jason eased himself into a chair beside Miriam, and his knee bumped hers under the table, making her shiver. “You don’t have to be professional with me.”

  Miriam felt a surge of desire to be anything but professional with him, but she settled for giving him an apologetic nod. “Even so, I’m sorry for my remarks. I don’t ordinarily comment on our clients’ anatomy.”

  “I’m going to assume you’re not ordinarily this familiar with your clients’ anatomy,” he pointed out. “It’s understandable under the circumstances. Also a little flattering.”

  Still a little red-faced, Holly grabbed her laptop and shoved it in her bag. “I have to run,” she said, squeezing Miriam’s shoulder as she stood up. “Want me to lock up on my way out?”

  “Yeah, thanks.
Have a good date night!”

  “Thank you.” Holly beamed. “I’m going to ask Ben to hit the drugstore for a you-know-what test on the way to dinner.”

  “Because nothing says romance like peeing on a stick?”

  She laughed. “Exactly. Have a good night!”

  Holly disappeared down the hall, which left Miriam alone with the tall, handsome, not-so-homeless guy who’d been naked in her house just a few days ago.

  She turned back to Jason, surprised to realize she felt a little nervous around him all of a sudden. “So.” She folded her hands on the table. “You’re the new CEO of Urban Trax.”

  “It appears that way.” He reached for the candy dish, picked up an orange gummy, and frowned at it. “Is this a penis?”

  “Technically, it’s the whole anatomy—cock and balls, to be precise.”

  “For a woman who just told me she’s not ordinarily focused on clients’ anatomy, this seems like an odd choice in snacks for your boardroom.”

  “I said I didn’t comment on the clients’ anatomy—not that I wasn’t focused on it.”

  He grinned like he’d just gotten her to admit something she hadn’t meant to, and Miriam wondered why she seemed so hell-bent on putting her foot in her mouth around this guy.

  “Anyway, the gummy dongs are from a client who specializes in food shaped like genitals,” she explained as she tucked a wayward curl behind one ear. “Pasta, chewing gum, lollipops, even ice cube trays.”

  “Huh,” Jason said, shoving one in his mouth and chewing without apparent hesitation. There was something oddly sexy about a man confident enough in his masculinity not to go all homophobic about a bowl full of gummy dicks, and the thought was a turn-on for Miriam.

  Then again, this guy could wear lederhosen and recite excerpts from her iPod user manual and she’d be turned on.

  She cleared her throat again. “So how did your first day go?” she asked.

  “You tell me how it went. You witnessed a good chunk of it today.”

  “The meeting was…interesting,” she offered for lack of a better word.

  “Come on,” he said, resting his hands palms-down on the table. “I’m serious, I want your opinion.”

  “You’re asking how I think you performed in the meeting?” Hell, no good could come of this.

  “Yep.” He folded his hands on the table. Massive hands, she noticed.

  Pay attention, Miriam.

  “I’m the new guy,” he said. “And you’ve been working with the execs for months now. I want to know how you think I did.”

  She studied him, trying to assess how serious he was. “You want me to pat you on the ass and give you a cookie, or you want me to give it to you straight?”

  Jason grinned. “I’d kinda like all of the above, actually.”

  “We’ll have to do a rain check on the cookie,” she said, deliberately not mentioning the ass pat, even though her hand tingled with the thought of touching him. “So you really want feedback?”

  “Lay it on me. I have thick skin.”

  Her libido did an internal shudder at his word choice, but she managed to hold it together. “Well, you already heard me tell Holly you’ve got balls. That’s a compliment, by the way.”

  “I took it as one.”

  “Good. But the one thing you don’t have is professional polish.”

  “True,” he agreed, stretching those long legs out in front of him under the conference table and bumping Miriam’s knee again. “That’s kinda why they hired me.”

  “Not exactly,” she said. “They hired you because you’re an authentic, rugged, outdoorsy mountain man who happens to have solid business experience and a good head on his shoulders.”

  And between his legs, her libido telegraphed, but she kept her gaze on his.

  “You’re obviously smart,” she continued, “and you’re obviously a good businessman, but you have to show them you can do more than swing your dick around. You have to show them you can play in their league.”

  He laughed and shook his head, eyeing her with renewed interest. “Are you always this blunt?”

  “Yup. It’s why Holly leads most of the meetings and I sit there doodling dick pics on my iPad screen.”

  “So that’s what a Chicago Art Institute–educated, ADDY Award–winning graphic designer spends her time drawing.” He grinned wider when Miriam blinked in surprise. “I looked you up after the meeting. Figured you got an intimate look at my junk, the least I could do was find out more about you.”

  “Please tell me there are no nudie photos of me on the internet,” she said, only half kidding.

  “None that I could find, and that wasn’t for lack of trying.”

  “It’s nice to see you have ambition.”

  “So back to the meeting,” he said. “You think my professional polish is lacking?”

  “That can’t be surprising to you, can it?”

  “Nope,” he agreed. “I suppose I’m with you on the tendency toward foot-in-mouth disease.”

  “At least I have the good sense to keep my mouth shut in board meetings instead of peppering all my dialogue with profanity.”

  “Keeping my mouth shut isn’t usually an option as CEO,” he pointed out. “I don’t suppose you’d care to give me some pointers on being a more polished professional?”

  “What, you mean like etiquette lessons?”

  “Sure, something like that.”

  Miriam snorted. “We’ve known each other forty-eight hours, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for not realizing I’m the last person in the world who should be giving anyone etiquette lessons.”

  “I beg to differ,” he said, his gaze sweeping her body in a way that made her shiver. “You’re the most put-together woman I’ve ever met.”

  “Looks can be deceiving.”

  “And you totally owned it in the board meeting.”

  “Owning a team of suit-clad, tie-yanking executives is only slightly more challenging than owning a housecat.”

  “I’ve met your cat. Considering he sexually assaulted me, that qualifies as a challenging pet.”

  “He’s well-trained.”

  “That reminds me—Fuzzy?” He rolled his eyes. “You’re one of the industry’s foremost creative geniuses and you have a cat named Fuzzy?”

  “It’s spelled P-h-u-z-e-e-i.”

  “Phuzeei?”

  “Yep.”

  He looked at her a moment, then smiled. “That explains so much.”

  Miriam was saved from asking what he meant when he banged his hand on the table in front of him, a move that simultaneously startled her and left her wondering how he felt about spanking in the bedroom.

  “Tell you what,” he said. “You give me a few pointers on polish and professionalism, and I’ll give you free outdoor adventure tours.”

  “Outdoor adventure?” She wasn’t surprised to hear that the words emerging from her mouth had the same intonation she’d use if she said “Pap smear” or “Ebola.”

  “Thanks, but no thanks,” she said, flipping open her laptop. “But actually, I can show you some of my favorite fashion websites if you want to get some ideas for professional attire and—”

  “Wait, why don’t you want an outdoor adventure?”

  Miriam stared at him and wondered whether to offer the real story or the one that seemed most obvious.

  “I’m a city girl through and through, in case you hadn’t noticed,” she said, settling for the surface story.

  “Right, but you’re a city girl who’s managing the account for the nation’s second-largest outdoor gear retailer,” he pointed out. “Don’t you think you should be at least a little familiar with our products?”

  “I am familiar with your products,” she said. “I did intensive market research using the reports from—”

  “No, no, no,” Jason interrupted. “Reports aren’t the same as actually experiencing it. When was the last time you played outside?”

  Miriam tamped dow
n the panic that threatened to bubble its way up from her gut. It wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t possibly know she’d spent the last year avoiding all things outdoorsy.

  Especially men with an adrenaline habit.

  She swallowed hard and forced herself to answer his question. “I went outside on Saturday,” she said. “I walked out to get the mail.”

  Jason shook his head and looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “Come on, I’ll start you off easy. Maybe some spelunking or something.”

  “I don’t know what spelunking is, but unless it’s a drink, a sex act, or a fashion designer, I’m not interested.”

  He cocked his head to the side. “Wait, so you would be interested if spelunking was a sex act?”

  “I was being glib,” she said, tossing her hair and making note of the eagerness in his expression. “Whatever it is, I’m guessing it’s outside my comfort zone.”

  “Exactly why you should do it.” He grinned again. “Spelunking is cave exploration. I have all the gear, and there’s a really amazing cave I know of just a couple hours away. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  “I think you and I have very different definitions of fun.”

  “I doubt that,” he said. His voice was low and molten, or maybe that’s just how Miriam heard it. Either way, it sent a shiver down her spine.

  She shook her head, trying to keep her cool. “I really don’t think cave exploration is necessary. Or any other adventure, really. I can serve Urban Trax just fine from the comfort of my desk chair.”

  “I disagree,” he said. “I think it’s very necessary. And as your client and the CEO of the second-largest outdoor retailer in the country, I require it.”

  Miriam rolled her eyes, annoyed to realize how turned on she was by the whole alpha-male mountain-man thing. “You remember that thing I said about not needing to swing your dick around?”

  “That’s the second time in ten minutes you’ve mentioned my dick,” he said. “If I didn’t know better, I’d accuse you of being obsessed with it.”

  “Fine,” Miriam said, pretty sure this was the least professional conversation she’d ever had with a client. She knew she needed to call a halt to it, but his teasing had left her tingling from the nape of her neck all the way down to her toes. “I’ll go spelunking with you. But I won’t agree to like it.”