The Hang Up (First Impressions)

by Tawna Fenske

  “Do it,” he murmured, and she could tell by his tone that he was close, too.

  She grabbed the pillow again and bit down, crying out as he slid in deeper. His glutes were tense beneath her palms, and she knew he was there, too.

  He gave his own muffled groan and thrust into her again, and Miriam felt the muscles bunch in his shoulders. She squeezed her eyes shut, riding out her own orgasm as she wondered how the hell she never knew this happened in real life and not just erotic novels.

  When they finally drew apart, Jason rolled to one side and pulled her against him. She went willingly, her whole body limp as she snuggled up to him and rested her head on his chest. He was breathing hard, and she matched her breath to his, still dazed from pleasure. She stroked a hand over the light dusting of fur on his chest, pretty sure that was the only movement she’d be able to make for at least an hour or two.

  “Holy shit,” he breathed.

  She laughed and planted a tiny kiss on his shoulder. “No kidding.”

  “Well,” he said. “I guess you’ve got me beat with product demos. Headlamps and canoe paddles have nothing on your gear.”

  She giggled and nuzzled closer, pretty sure she’d never been so sated in her life.

  …

  The next morning, Miriam rolled over to see Jason fast asleep in a sunbeam drifting through a slat in his blinds. The stubble on his jaw was even thicker than yesterday, and he had one muscular arm thrown over his eyes. The other hand was beneath the sheet, covering her thigh as though claiming her even in sleep.

  She gave a little shiver of pleasure.

  Last night had been amazing. Not just the sex—though that was obviously mind-blowing. It was the knowledge that his sense of adventure spanned from the bedroom to the boardroom to mountaintops and beyond. He was smart. Passionate. Funny. Successful. Sexy as hell.

  In other words, everything she’d been looking for in a man.

  Uh-oh.

  She clutched the sheet closer to her breasts, not willing to go down that path. Yes, he was everything she wanted. But he was also everything she didn’t want. The last thing she needed was a guy who got off on risking life and limb for the adrenaline rush. Been there, done that, spent six months crying herself dry at Holly’s kitchen table and in a cemetery outside of town.

  She thought about her father, which was a weird thing to think about in bed on a Sunday morning with a guy who’d made her come her brains out all night long.

  That was the thing about grief. It didn’t always hit at convenient times.

  She remembered her father’s laugh, deep and booming like a foghorn. She remembered his eyes lighting up as he cracked the spine on another travel guide or sorted through his climbing gear as he prepared for his next big adventure.

  Yes, her dad had died, leaving her with a big, aching hole in her heart.

  But her dad had also lived. He’d seized life by the balls, conquering mountains and chasing dreams and living every day to its fullest no matter what the cost.

  He would have wanted you to do the same, you know.

  Jason’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, startling Miriam from her thoughts. She watched his eyes flutter open, then brighten as his blue gaze skimmed her bare shoulder.

  “Good morning,” she said, smiling a little self-consciously.

  “Morning.” He angled up on his forearm to kiss her. One hand slid from her thigh to her backside, caressing her as she shivered with pleasure beneath his palm.

  The phone buzzed again with the sound of an incoming text message.

  She broke the kiss and glanced at the nightstand. “Do you need to get that? It could be work or Henry or something.”

  “Henry.” Jason sat up, the sheet sliding down his torso. He reached past Miriam to grab the phone off the nightstand, and she watched as his face creased into a frown. “Dammit,” he muttered.

  “What is it?”

  He raked his fingers through his hair and looked up at her with guilt in his eyes. “I totally forgot I promised Henry I’d take him hiking today near Mount Hood while Ellie has brunch with one of the moms she met through that support group of cancer parents.”

  Miriam glanced at the clock. “You can still go, right? It’s only eight thirty.”

  “Yeah,” he muttered, still staring at the phone. “I can’t believe I forgot in the first place. I’m usually good about my commitments to Henry.”

  “You’re still good,” she said as she gave his leg a reassuring squeeze. “Just give me a second to wash my face and I’ll get out of your hair so you can—”

  “Come with us.” He grabbed her hand under the covers.

  “To Mount Hood?”

  He smiled, and Miriam knew she was a goner. “Henry adores you. I know he’d love to have you join us.”

  She bit her lip. “I’m not one for climbing mountains.”

  “We’re not climbing the mountain, just hiking near it. It’s very safe, I promise. Especially this time of year.”

  “Well—”

  “Please,” Jason said, stroking the back of her hand. “Henry would love to spend another day with you.” He caught her by the waist, kissing her again before she had a chance to protest. “I’d love to spend another day with you.”

  The words made a warm puddle of emotion in her belly. Not just the fact that Jason wanted to see her, but that Henry did, too. That this family had started to carve out a little place for her, a small warm spot where she felt like she belonged.

  She hadn’t realized until just now how much she’d missed that. How much she’d longed for it since her father’s death and her mother’s choice to move to the other side of the country to escape the memories of her failed marriage.

  “Okay,” Miriam said, drawing back from the kiss a little breathless. “I’ll give it a shot.”

  With those words, she knew she was agreeing to more than a hike.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jason stepped over the fallen log, then stopped to hold back a low-hanging branch on a ponderosa pine. He watched Miriam coming up the trail toward him, her hair laced with pine needles, the small day pack she wore thrusting her breasts forward beneath a snug lavender T-shirt.

  God, he wanted her. How was that possible? Last night should have left him sated and exhausted, but it only made him want her more.

  “Thank you.” Miriam smiled up at him as she ushered Henry in front of her beneath the branch Jason held. She took hold of the little boy’s hand and helped him up onto the log. Then she let go, ducking beneath the branch and bringing herself face-to-face with Jason.

  He leaned close, breathing in the flowery scent of her shampoo and savoring the tickle of her curls against his chin. She’d gone home to feed Phuzeei and shower before their hike, and part of him longed to get her dirty all over again.

  “Do I get a kiss for saving you from this attack branch?” he asked.

  She laughed. “I already gave you a kiss for the piggyback ride across the creek,” she said as she leaned up to kiss him again anyway. “And one for lending me these hiking boots. And one for brunch.”

  “I think Uncle Jason likes your kisses,” Henry piped. He jumped down on the other side of the log and landed with his feet planted in a bed of soft earth and crushed pine needles. The boy scrambled forward, then stopped to pick up a pinecone that he promptly hurled at a nearby boulder.

  “Uncle Jason definitely likes your kisses,” Jason murmured as he offered Miriam a hand down.

  She accepted, even though it was clear she was steady enough on her feet that she didn’t need his help. It felt good to hold her hand, so he didn’t let go as they started walking again. The trail was wide enough here for them to walk side by side, which felt nice after an hour of single-file trekking. Jason breathed in the earthy scent of moss and fern, marveling at the monstrous pines surrounding them. It was beautiful here. The air was misty and cool, a drug that left him invigorated. Or maybe that was just Miriam. It felt good to have her shoulder brushing his ar
m as they made their way beneath the canopy of thick trees.

  “Thanks again for joining us,” he told her. “Henry’s having a blast.”

  “Blast!” Henry shouted, stooping to pick up a stick. He held it like a gun, stopping to fire at a tree before tucking his makeshift pistol in the back of his pants and racing forward.

  “Stay close, buddy,” Jason called. “We don’t want you getting too far ahead.”

  “I won’t!” he shouted as he tore off down the trail, jumping up to smack a low-hanging branch as he ran.

  Jason watched his nephew go, the boy’s bright blue windbreaker flapping like a flag on the trail up ahead. Part of him wanted to yell for Henry to slow down, to watch out for tree stumps and boulders and mosquitoes and anything else that might cause harm.

  But part of him was just glad to see the kid enjoying himself. The doctor had said again at the last appointment that physical activity was okay, even encouraged at this stage. They were trying to rebuild his strength, to get him back to the energy levels of a normal five-year-old boy. A scraped knee was a small price to pay for that, and infinitely better than seeing Henry hooked up to needles and tubes in a hospital bed.

  “We can’t hover over him 24-7,” Ellie had told him last week when Jason balked at the idea of bringing in the nurse babysitter for an hour so they could slip out and watch a band they’d both loved in high school. “He doesn’t have the PICC line anymore, and even the doctor thinks it’s a good idea.”

  But Jason was too worried, so he’d sent Ellie alone to the concert while he stayed home watching over Henry as the little boy slept.

  Hell, maybe Ellie was right. Maybe he was being too much of a helicopter uncle. Maybe Henry needed a little independence.

  Up ahead, the youngster was skipping down the wide pathway, stopping every now and then to pick up a rock or a leaf and stuff it in his pocket.

  “The trail is pretty clear for the next mile, and there aren’t any drop-offs or anything,” Jason mumbled, mostly to himself. “He can’t really get into much trouble up there.”

  Henry whooped and started singing something that sounded like a Lady Gaga song. He didn’t have the lyrics quite right—something about wanting to poke her face in the chicken casino?—but the tune was recognizable.

  “Where on earth did he learn ‘Poker Face’?” Miriam asked.

  “Ellie. She does mother/son dance parties with him sometimes. The kid loves it.”

  Henry was still singing as he scurried around a bend in the trail, his voice echoing through the treetops as he belted out the lyrics at top volume.

  Miriam smiled and squeezed Jason’s hand. “It’s got to feel good to see him so happy and vivacious. After everything he’s been through—”

  She stopped, probably not wanting to presume too much about Henry’s health or future, but Jason didn’t mind. It was nice to have someone taking an interest, sharing the burden of worrying about his nephew.

  “You’re right,” he said, toeing a rock off the trail so she wouldn’t trip. “It’s been a rough year with him, but it’s starting to feel like maybe there’s some light at the end of the tunnel.”

  “You said earlier he’s in partial remission,” she said. “What does that mean, exactly?”

  “It means the cancer is responding well to treatment. That we’re keeping it at bay.”

  “So it’s still there?”

  “Yes, but getting weaker all the time. There aren’t any guarantees, of course, but the pediatric oncologist thinks odds are good Henry will be in complete remission within six weeks or so.”

  “That’s great!” she said, and the genuine excitement in her voice was like a warm balm on his heart. “So that would mean there’s no cancer at all?”

  “At least not that they can detect. It usually takes a few years of complete remission for doctors to declare a kid totally cured, but things are definitely looking positive.”

  “I’m so glad.” She was quiet a moment, and Jason wondered what she was thinking. He didn’t have to wonder long. “You mentioned once that you took the job with Urban Trax so you could do more for Henry and Ellie.”

  “That was a big part of it.”

  “So if Henry turns out to be okay—”

  “Am I planning to pack up and leave town?” He grinned and squeezed her hand. “You’re afraid you’d miss me?”

  She rolled her eyes, but the faint flush in her cheeks told him maybe he wasn’t so far off the mark. “I was just curious about your career plan,” she said. “Whether you want to stick around or to go back to leading adventure tours.”

  Jason sighed. “Yeah, I don’t know. The Urban Trax job is a great career move for me. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and there are a lot of things I really love about the company. About the job itself.”

  “But?”

  “But,” he repeated, stalling a little. Did he really want to admit this? He glanced over at her, and those beautiful green eyes told him it was okay to let his guard down. To drop the fucking Superman cape for a minute. “Part of me wonders if I’m just not cut out to be a CEO.”

  She frowned. “How do you mean?”

  “This whole layoff thing. Maybe the execs are right. Maybe that’s just part of doing business and there’s not a damn thing I can do to prevent it. To save those people’s jobs.”

  She seemed to consider that for a moment, tucking a stray curl behind her year as they made their way around a bend in the trail. “This doesn’t sound like you.”

  He raked his fingers through his hair, remembering his last conversation with the accounting director. This isn’t the time to be sentimental, Rex had insisted. It’s a matter of dollars and cents.

  Jason wasn’t sure he believed that, but he didn’t know what else to do.

  “I feel like I’m running up against a brick wall,” he admitted.

  “So put on some crampons, grab your chalk bag, whip out your multi-pitch free-climbing and trad-cragging harness, and climb that son of a bitch.”

  Jason barked out a laugh, startled by both her passionate delivery and off-kilter mountaineering jargon. “I see you’ve been reviewing our line of climbing products.”

  “I have.” She grinned up at him. “And while I’m not entirely sure what the hell I just said, I do know you’ve got it in you to make a difference. To do the right thing for those employees who are counting on you.”

  “Yeah,” he said as the guilt needled him in the gut. “Easier said than done.”

  “Have you gotten to know them? The workers whose jobs are on the line, not the douche bag executives.”

  “A little,” he said. “Not as much as I wish I had.”

  “Maybe that would help. Seeing what their world is like, and putting faces to the names of the people they’re threatening to lay off.” She shrugged. “If nothing else, it would give you a better understanding of how the company runs.”

  “Huh,” he said, surprised to realize she might have a point. “I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied hobnobbing with the executive team. I figured I was better off working the problem from the top down.”

  “A good strategy when removing underwear.” Miriam grinned. “Less effective when saving jobs.”

  “Maybe you’re right.” He squeezed her hand, feeling a flutter of hope behind his breastbone. “Maybe the solution isn’t in the boardroom. Maybe there’s another way to do it.”

  “Absolutely. There’s no shame in teabagging after a whipper. And sometimes a fist-jam is more effective than dry-tooling.” She smiled up at him. “For the record, I think climbing has the filthiest jargon of all.”

  He laughed and looped an arm around her shoulders, then pulled her closer so he could plant a kiss on her forehead. “Thanks. I appreciate your perspective. Even if your grasp of climbing terminology could use a little work.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  “Seriously, I don’t know what I would have done without you helping me through all this corporate bullshi
t these last few weeks.”

  “My pleasure. You’ve been a helluva lot more interesting than any of the other Urban Trax stiffs we worked with before you came along.”

  “Thanks. That actually means a lot.”

  He let go of her shoulders and grabbed her hand again. Her fingers felt good laced through his, and it occurred to him this was one of the nicest hikes he’d ever experienced.

  “So what comes next?” she asked.

  “How do you mean?”

  She shrugged, and he felt her shoulders move under his arm. “Well, it sounds like you’re sticking around for the job. That you might actually like it,” she added. “And it sounds like Henry might be on the road to recovery. Things are going well for you.”

  “You’re right,” he said, happy to realize it was true. Even happier to realize she was a part of that.

  “I’m just curious what comes next for you. I know your sister is eager not to be so reliant on you, and I’m sure that’s bound to change things for all three of you.”

  Jason raised an eyebrow as he ducked under a branch. “Sounds like Ellie might have given you an earful last night.”

  “We talked,” she admitted. “I know she feels guilty about how much you’ve done to support her and Henry, and she’s hoping to repay you by becoming a little more independent again.”

  “She doesn’t have to repay me anything,” he said, wondering why his sister kept bringing this up. He wanted to help, dammit. “They’re my family. It’s important to me to take care of them.”

  “I know,” she said softly as she gave his hand another squeeze. “But sometimes it’s more important to people to know they can take care of themselves.”

  He let her words hang there between them a moment, considering them. Did Miriam have a point? Did he need to let go a little, maybe give Ellie and Henry a bit more space? If he did, what would that mean for him?

  A chance at your own life. Maybe a wife, a family, all the things you’ve been denying yourself.

  He looked at Miriam. She smiled up at him, her face cheerful and open and flushed with fresh air and exertion. She tugged a strap on her day pack and kept walking, surging ahead just a little while her fingers stayed laced with his.