Promises Decide

by Sarah McCarty

  Tony relaxed and managed a weak smile, which Kevin echoed. Together they sat and waited. The boys did well at first, but about twenty minutes in he could feel them twitching in their skin. He empathized. The hardest part of hunting was the waiting, but if one waited, it paid off. A slight rustle of the leaves alerted him. Like right now. Holding a finger to his lips he pointed down the trail. A young buck walked down the trail, head up, ears twitching warily. The boys nodded.

  Jackson carefully took aim. A few steps closer, a couple more head tosses, and Jackson pulled the trigger. The gun barked. The buck went down. The boys jumped and fell backward. A few birds squawked, and then the woods went silent.

  Kevin and Tony followed him to the kill, jumping around all excited.

  “Did you see that,” Kevin cheered. “You got him with one shot. Just one shot.”

  Jackson hid his smile. “Bullets are expensive.”

  Their enthusiasm waned when they got to the carcass. The buck was still twitching, the last of its life fading from its eyes. Excitement dimmed at the reality of death. Overhead a crow cawed. Awkwardly slinging his rifle over his shoulder, Jackson put a hand on each boy’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “This, my friends, is the part of hunting where we pray.”

  “For what?” Kevin asked, not looking away from the deer. All excitement was gone from his tone.

  “In gratitude for our bounty. Taking any life is no small thing.”

  When the prayer was done, this time it was Tony who asked, “Why?”

  “My father told me everything has a right to live, and when you have to make a trade, their life for yours, you need to be respectful of their sacrifice.”

  Tony didn’t look at the deer, but Kevin couldn’t look away from it. Jackson placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder again. What came out of Kevin’s mouth wasn’t what Jackson expected. “You had a pa?”

  Did they think his mother found him under a leaf pile? “Everyone does.”

  It was Tony who answered. “We don’t.”

  Damn. Beneath his hand, Kevin stiffened. He couldn’t imagine not knowing who his father was. Jackson’s father had been everything to him: his guide, his mentor, his disciplinarian, his friend. He still was. “I’m sorry, son. That was none of my business.”

  Kevin shrugged, still staring at the deer. “It doesn’t matter.”

  But it clearly did. Again, Jackson had to wonder at what had brought the boys and Mimi together. They weren’t blood, that was for sure.

  “I didn’t think hunting would be so sad,” Kevin whispered. He motioned to the body. “He just wanted to get a drink and we killed him.”

  Jackson could remember that feeling after his first kill, too. “I know. And we just need to eat. It’s life, son, and that’s why you have to honor it even when you have to take it.”

  “I don’t want to eat him,” he declared emphatically.

  Tony whispered, “I don’t, either.”

  More crows cawed, the rustle of their wings disturbing the morning as they settled in the branches above. They weren’t going to be squeamish about a meal.

  “Life’s hard, boys, full of many hard choices. Unless you killed this animal for sport, you need to set about dressing it and bringing it home for dinner. Otherwise, his death has no meaning.”

  “And so will Mimi’s and Melinda Sue’s,” Kevin whispered, looking up. “They’ll starve without food.”

  That answered the question if the boys understood the gravity of their situation. “Exactly.” Jackson rested his rifle and the rope against a nearby tree. “If we as men don’t provide, our women won’t survive, and that we don’t allow.”

  Kevin swallowed hard. “I don’t want them to starve.”

  “Neither do I. That’s why we make peace with the hard decisions.”

  Tony touched the deer’s ear. “I read that the Indians believe that when you kill something and then eat it, its spirit goes into your heart. In some way it becomes part of you.”

  Kevin looked up, a shock of his red hair falling over his eyes. He wanted confirmation. Jackson was more than happy to give it to him.

  “In general, the Indians believe that we’re part of everything. That we don’t live apart from anything.”

  “So he’ll live on in us?” Kevin asked.

  “Yup.”

  Kevin smiled. “I like that.”

  “So do I,” Tony agreed.

  Reaching around his back, Jackson took his knife from his belt. “Good. Then it’s settled. We’re bringing home venison for supper.”

  Kevin’s eyes bugged at the sight of the blade. “What are you going to do with that?”

  “We’re going to skin it and then field dress the meat.”

  “And after that?” Tony asked.

  “After that we’ll butcher it, but right now you need to pay attention. The kill only starts the process. There are certain things that have to be done correctly after that or, instead of feeding the people you love, you’ll poison them.”

  It was the first time Jackson had seen Tony truly rattled. Handing him the knife, Jackson assured him, “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you how to do it right.”

  Surprisingly, Jackson enjoyed the experience of passing on the knowledge that had been passed on to him. There was a timelessness in it. A comfort and strength. He took it slowly, showing them where to cut, which knot to tie, which tree limb to use. The process was peaceful in a way Jackson had never felt before, and he discovered, as he passed on the lessons taught to him, why his father always said the joy of knowledge only took life when shared.

  Seven

  Jackson hadn’t counted on giving lessons when he’d budgeted time for hunting; as a result, the sun was high in the sky by the time they were ready to head home. He was feeling every extra minute as he leaned back against a tree and waited for the boys to load the slabs of meat onto the deer skin, which they’d use as a sled to get it back to the house. They were flush with newfound confidence, comparing their butchering skills as they positioned the load. It was good to see them working together.

  “That’s enough, now,” Jackson ordered before they could grab more meat. “Time to tie it up.”

  Tony glanced up from where he was packing in another chunk. “But there’s a whole lot left.”

  Leaving as much as they were was wasteful, but he was about played out. The nausea had reared its ugly head an hour earlier, and weakness had come tripping in on its heels, leaving his knees with an unmanly shake. “It can’t be helped. It’s going to be hard enough hauling back what you’ve got there.”

  Kevin, ever the optimist, piped up. “We can do it.”

  The boy was all enthusiasm. Jackson shook his head and waved his hand. “Try it, then. Just grab a corner and tug.”

  He did. The hide barely moved. He looked surprised. Shoving his hair out of his eyes, he glared at the pile. “I can’t.”

  Tony gave it a tug also, with a little more success, before standing back. “Wow. It doesn’t look that heavy.”

  “Nope, which is why you can’t run on assumptions. You’ve got to plan ahead. In this case, you’ve got the weight of the hide, the weight of the meat, and the roughness of the terrain to take into consideration. And you’ve got to balance that against how much muscle you have to do the job.”

  Kevin put his hands on his hips. “There’s three of us.”

  Jackson blew out a breath. “I’m afraid it’s just going to be you two. I’m feeling a bit puny.”

  That got Tony’s attention, followed by an unflattering proclamation. “You look like those corpses propped up outside at the undertaker’s.”

  Jackson’s “thanks” was dry.

  “Shut up, Tony,” Kevin muttered as he gathered up the rope. “Come help me tie this up.”

  Tony and Kevin followed Jackson’s instructions on how to wrap and tie the r
ope around the hide so they could get the meat safely home. After giving their knots a quick inspection, Jackson nodded in approval. “Now, that’s a fair decent piece of work.”

  And it was. The boys had done well. They’d followed directions. They didn’t have the wrist strength for some of it, but they’d pitched in and hadn’t whined. He admired that, because it wasn’t easy work and it was clearly nothing they’d ever done before. They’d have blisters for sure, but there was also an aura of satisfaction about as them as they washed up in the stream and prepared to drag the meat back to the house, a confidence that hadn’t been there before. Jackson was proud of them.

  “Ready?” he asked, drying his hands on the sides of his pants and gathering up his rifle.

  Both boys nodded. Above, the flock of crows cawed in a raucous cacophony, clearly wanting a turn at the carcass.

  “Then let’s get out of here and let those crows get to feasting.”

  “I can’t wait until we can feast,” Tony declared, grabbing up one of the ends of the rope woven around the hide-wrapped meat.

  Kevin grabbed the other and started pulling. “Me either. I’m starving!”

  “Is Mimi a good cook?” Jackson asked, grunting as he lifted the bundle over a bush.

  “Mimi’s good at everything.”

  Cold, clammy sweat broke out on his brow as he heaved the bundle forward. “All the more reason to hurry.”

  On a cheer, the boys surged on. The bundle bounced over the ground. Or maybe that was just his vision wavering. For a moment, Jackson wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to pass out.

  “Come on, Mr. Montgomery!” Tony called.

  “Supper’s waiting!” Kevin added, with a disgusting amount of enthusiasm.

  Clenching his teeth, Jackson took a step forward. And then another, sheer grit keeping him moving. “Right behind you.”

  No one seemed to notice how weak the statement was.

  * * *

  • • •

  The boys broke through the trees into the meadow, whooping and hollering. They were a quarter of the way to the house before Jackson cleared the trees. He was just in time to see Mimi burst out of the house, her hand shading her eyes against the noon sun. Jackson immediately got that peculiar punched-in-his-gut sensation that he always got upon seeing her. There was something just so . . . perfect about the woman. Something both soothing and exciting at the same time. The boys waved and hollered some more. She waved back and smiled. Even from here he could see how it lit up her face. Looking pretty as a picture in a light blue dress with a lace-trimmed scoop neck and her hair pulled back in a braid, she descended the porch steps, jerking to a stop at the bottom.

  A second later the reason revealed itself in the form of Melinda Sue. She pushed past Mimi. Pigtails bouncing, petticoats flapping, she screamed his name. In her hurry, she tripped and tumbled to her hands and knees. Before Mimi could reach her, Melinda Sue was up and brushing herself off. Before Mimi could catch her, she was running again.

  “Mr. Jackson. Mr. Jackson!”

  The child was all energy, whereas Jackson had all he could do to keep placing one foot in front of the other. He wanted to vomit. Pass out. Eat. In that order.

  “Mr. Jackson!” Melinda Sue yelled again when she got close enough to launch herself at him. He caught her in midleap and settled her on his hip, grunting at the pain. He didn’t stop walking, though. If he did, he’d never get started again.

  “Hey, sprout.”

  “How come you didn’t take me?” Melinda Sue demanded, her angelic face contorted in a full pout. How on earth did that make her even cuter?

  “Mellie,” Mimi chided. “Don’t be rude.”

  “It’s all right,” Jackson said in a tight voice. To Melinda Sue he explained, “You were sleeping.”

  Melinda Sue’s frown deepened. “Next time waked me up!”

  “Melinda Sue!” Mimi shook her head. The child was impossible. Every day was an exhausting struggle for control. There were days when she simply didn’t feel up to the task.

  Jackson just laughed and ruffled Melinda Sue’s hair. “Sure thing.”

  Waving to the deer hide bundle wrapped up in rope, Mimi asked, “What’s this?”

  “We brought breakfast!” Kevin boasted, coming to a stop.

  “We hunted us a deer!” Tony chimed in, dropping his end of rope.

  “A deer?” Mimi blinked. They’d brought down a deer? Her two town-living boys had brought down a deer? “That’s impressive.”

  Melinda Sue wiggled in Jackson’s arms as he came up beside her. “I wanna see.”

  This close Mimi couldn’t help but hear Jackson’s groan. The lowered brim of his hat obscured his eyes, but he was pale. He was trying to act normal, but he was hurting.

  “There’s nothing to see yet,” Tony countered.

  Kevin smacked the bundle. Dust flew. “But there will be once Mimi starts cooking this up.”

  Mimi smiled at the boys’ enthusiasm. “There will be, huh?”

  They looked so happy. So joyful. Mimi couldn’t remember when she’d seen the boys so carefree. So proud. And why wouldn’t they be? They’d provided for their family. That was something men did. Something she wasn’t even sure they’d seen before, growing up in the whorehouse as they had, but in their eight- and ten-year-old minds, they recognized the importance of it. Maybe because they’d seen through her struggles just how hard it was to provide.

  “Yup.”

  “What if I burn it?”

  Kevin’s face fell. “You can’t.”

  She nudged his shoulder, teasing him. “No, I can’t because I’m hungrier than you are.”

  “Not possible.”

  “Oh, it’s possible.”

  Beside her, Jackson stood quietly, a slight smile curving his lips, but his breathing was strained. As the boys wrestled with the bundle, she touched his forearm. His skin felt clammy. She whispered too low for the children to hear, “Are you going to make it to the house?”

  He whispered back, “Yup. Or die trying.”

  That was not a reassuring response. “Please. Spare us that.”

  The left side of his mouth quirked up in a half grin. He cut her a glance. Even bloodshot, his eyes were beautiful. “Getting fond of me, are you?”

  She steadied him when he wove on his feet. “Some, but there’s also the onerous chore of burying you to consider if you just up and croak.”

  His laugh was little more than a rasp. He really might not make it to the house. “Heck, just dump me in the well with the snakes.”

  “The only thing I want to put in that well is a wagonful of dynamite.”

  “We think alike.”

  An ecstatic “whee!” spun her around.

  The boys were dragging the meat up to the front door. “Melinda Sue, you get off that dirty hide!”

  Melinda stuck her lip out and folded her arms across her small chest. “I wanna ride.”

  Of course she did. Tony scooped her off before Mimi could grab her. “I’ll give you a piggyback ride later,” he promised as she struggled.

  “No.”

  Mimi held out her hands. “Give her to me.”

  Melinda Sue shook her head. “I want Mr. Jackson.”

  Before Mimi could stop her, Melinda Sue scrambled over into his arms. He had no choice but to hitch her over or let her fall. A flinch shook him from head to toe. If possible, he got even paler. Intercepting the glance he shot the boys, she understood. He didn’t want them to see him like this. Stroking her fingers over his hand, she called the boys’ names.

  “As happy as I am to have breakfast, I thought we had an agreement that you’d tell me before you take off.” She frowned at the boys, diverting their attention. “Mr. Montgomery took you hunting?”

  The boys stopped smiling.

  “You’re in t
rouble,” Melinda Sue gloated.

  Mimi silenced her with a glance. “Hush, Melinda Sue.”

  Jackson frowned at the boys, who had the grace to look guilty. “You didn’t tell your sister where you were heading?”

  “No, they didn’t. I had no idea where they were.”

  “I did,” Melinda Sue crowed victoriously before realizing her mistake. Slapping her hands over her mouth, she stared at them, horrified. Mimi had to suppress a smile.

  “Because you were supposed to tell her, brat,” Tony growled.

  Melinda Sue removed her hands long enough to throw them wide, almost smacking Jackson in the nose as she did. “I forgots.”

  “Careful.”

  Melinda Sue was oblivious to the strain in his voice. Mimi brushed her fingers over his hand again.

  “It wasn’t her job to tell me,” Mimi corrected. “It was yours.”

  “You’re not my mother,” Tony snapped, grabbing up the rope.

  The truth hurt. Before Mimi could snap back, Kevin waved to the bundle with the other rope end. “Stop fighting and look! We’ve got lots and lots and lots of meat. We’re going to eat big today.”

  The distraction worked for everyone but Jackson. In a voice that brooked no opposition he demanded, “Tony, what did we talk about when hunting?”

  “I don’t remember,” Tony muttered, looking away.

  Mimi recognized the lie. From the arch of Jackson’s brows, it was clear so did he.

  “The first rule of a man is to always respect those around him.” Looking pointedly at Mimi, he added, “That includes your sister.”

  The apology Tony offered was grudging, but Mimi accepted it.

  “Thank you, Tony.”

  Obviously feeling too much attention was being squandered elsewhere, Melinda Sue braced her hands on Jackson’s shoulder and pushed herself back so she could see into his face. “I wanted to go hunting.”

  Kevin was quick to counter. “You’re too little.”

  “I am not!”

  Jackson moved Melinda Sue to his right hip. He immediately swayed. Mimi switched her grip to the middle of his back. He glanced down as if to imply she was out of line. His pride, no doubt.