Perfectly Messy

by Lizzy Charles

  I toss a Twizzler at Laura as I step out of the suite. It’s way too loud in here with Luke, Laura, Jen, and Tiffany, and Allison, and their boyfriends.

  My phone rings twice before Lucy picks up.

  “Hey, Justin,” she says. “Hold on a sec.” She continues, speaking to someone else in the room. “I’m just gonna step outside, Ian? Okay?”

  Ian’s voice drifts through the phone from the background. “No problem. Tell Justin I say hello. Don’t forget your blanket.”

  Blanket? I shake my head, throwing the image of them snuggled in a blanket together in a bed out of my mind. That’s ridiculous.

  “It’s so nice to hear your voice,” Lucy says to me now. The wind whooshes past. She’s outside?

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yep. Totally fine. A little cold,” she says with a laugh.

  “You should have called me.”

  “And made you worry all night?” The way she says it bothers me. I want to worry about her. She’s my girlfriend. “No way. I’m safe and having a good time. Did you have fun tonight?”

  “Sure. It was great. Jen didn’t even mention Trish. She loved it. So that was good.”

  “Good.” A gust of wind drowns out her next words.

  “What did you say?”

  “Nothing.”

  “No, really.”

  She sighs as the wind dies down again. “Ian’s great. We’re having fun, but I wish you were here with me.”

  My gut relaxes. Take that, jealous green monster. I win.

  “I’d keep you warmer than Ian, for sure.”

  She laughs and I can totally picture her smile with a slight blush. “So, when can I see you again?”

  “As soon as possible, I promise.”

  “Sounds good,” she says and her voice shakes. She’s shivering.

  “Cold?”

  “A bit.”

  “Okay, go inside and get warm? So…Ghosthunters, huh?”

  “Don’t judge. It’s actually really cool. There’s another marathon on your birthday in a week. Maybe I’ll throw you a Ghosthunters party.”

  Shoot. It never occurred to me that she’d plan something. I knew I should’ve told her yesterday about my parents’ gift.

  “It’s okay, Justin. Don’t worry. I won’t throw you a Ghosthunters party. I’ve got different plans. Way better, promise.”

  “Lucy.” Crap. This isn’t supposed to happen this way. I take a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you this in person, but there can’t be a party.”

  “That’s okay. We don’t need to do a party. Maybe you and I can just grab dinner with your family?”

  My gut twists. “Actually, I won’t be home on my birthday.”

  “That’s okay. We can do it the day before or after. We can work around your schedule. No worries.”

  “No…”

  “I’m confused.”

  I take a deep breath, hating what I’m about to say. “My parents are taking me on a two-week birthday vacation to Hawaii over the holidays.”

  “Oh.” Another gush of wind rips through the phone. There’s a horrible long pause before she finally continues. “Well, that’s awesome. A great eighteenth birthday gift. You’ll have fun.” She may fool most with that confidence, but I can totally tell the forced enthusiasm behind her voice.

  My voice drops as some cheerleaders in the suite next to ours spill out of their room in bikinis for the hotel pool. I turn away from them as they squeal hello. “I don’t want to go. Being away from you on my birthday will suck.”

  “And Christmas.” Her voice is soft and more distant.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” She breathes in quick through her nose and I can tell she’s fighting off tears. “You have the vacation of a lifetime. You all deserve to escape this winter wasteland. Especially before the inauguration. When do you leave?”

  “In two days.”

  “When do you return?”

  “New Year’s Eve.”

  “All right. Will you be around for a New Year’s kiss?”

  “I won’t miss it. I promise.”

  “So, what are you doing tomorrow?” The chattering of her teeth can’t be ignored. This conversation is going to give her pneumonia.

  “Everything in my power to get to you. Listen, you should probably go back inside. I don’t want you to get sick.”

  Her teeth click away. “It’s the weather, not you. But yeah, I need to go. I love you,” she offers.

  “I love you too. Call me when you wake up.”

  “I don’t want to wake you.”

  “Trust me, I’ll be awake. There’s no way I’ll be sleeping knowing you are in a hotel room with another guy.”

  “It’s Ian.” I swear I can hear her eyes roll.

  “Well, he is a guy. Just sayin’.”

  ***

  “So what are the chances that our flight will be canceled?” I try not to sound too optimistic as I pull out of Jen’s driveway, chatting with Mom on the phone.

  “They’ve cleared the runway. Flights are on schedule now. Honey,” Mom says, “I know you want to see Lucy, but I don’t think it’s going to happen before we go. I’m sorry.”

  I smack the steering wheel. After two nights and a day cooped up in a hotel suite with six people, I’m at the end of my rope and have a stiff neck from sleeping on the floor. All I want to do is be with Lucy and she’s still stuck in St. Paul. Screw you, Super Blizzard. You ruined everything.

  “Are the roads near the coffee shop available yet?”

  “No, I checked. The plows won’t be able to tackle those streets until tomorrow morning. They’re starting major highways in that area right now.”

  “Our streets are fine.”

  “Different town and plow availability. Give her a call, Justin. She’ll understand.”

  “She doesn’t have a cell phone charger.”

  “Well, does she have a room number?”

  “Yeah.”

  “We’ll pay whatever it costs her per minute. Just come home and call her while you pack. We need to be out of the house in an hour to get to the airport.”

  Jen lives down the block from me, so it doesn’t take long before I’m home. I nod to Dad as I walk through the kitchen towards the basement. “Welcome home.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I put my suitcase downstairs for you.”

  “Great,” I say, a little too short.

  Dad taps my arm. “Justin. I know this isn’t ideal. But drop the attitude. Your mom has been planning this for a long time. Way before Lucy came into the picture. After all the stuff you’ve been juggling, she wanted this escape for you. Don’t disappoint her.”

  I let out a slow breath as I step into the basement, wishing that for once I was allowed to be a teenager and just be pissed off, but Dad’s right. Mom doesn’t deserve this. He might, but Mom doesn’t. Hell, they’re bringing me to Hawaii. That’s one amazing birthday gift.

  I turn around, looking as at ease as possible. “Yeah, you’re right. Good reality check.”

  “I’m proud of you, son. Jackson would be too.” He pats me on the back and I return a smile, holding in my inner cringe as I pull the basement door closed. His pride for me is always doubled with a reflection on Jackson. Maybe he thinks it makes me feel better, but it doesn’t. I’m always missing Jackson, and trying to live up to the life he never had and could never give my parents. It’s hard trying to be both of us.

  Slam. My fist flies into the punching bag hanging in our back room. I punch the crap out of it for every reason possible. Losing a brother. Not being enough on my own. Trying to always keep my shit together for everyone else. Who cares about what I want? Lucy, I want her and I won’t even get a birthday or Christmas kiss! Finally, my brain buzzes. Endorphins. There, better. Sweat drips down my back.

  Packing doesn’t take too long. I toss all the summer stuff in my bottom drawer in the suitcase and add a few pairs of boxers. A three-minute shower later and I toss
my toothbrush and electric razor in the suitcase too. Laptop’s in its case. Ready to roll.

  I Google Lucy’s hotel and call the front desk. A woman transfers me to the room, but there’s no answer.

  I swear and yank on my hair. I’ve seriously got to stop doing that or I’m going to go bald like Uncle Alex. I fling myself back into the leather couch, dialing the front desk for another transfer. Maybe she’s just in the shower?

  But still, no answer.

  I stretch out my neck, hating how anxious this makes me. I’m normally able to keep things balanced but not being able to talk to her is driving me crazy. What if this is the end? Our plane crashes and her last memory of me is how I complained about Luke snoring. Of all moments, that’s when her phone had to bite it.

  Or what if something else is going on in that hotel room? It’s not that I don’t trust her, but the situation is iffy. Who wouldn’t make a move on a girl like Lucy after three days? She’s incredible, even I’d flirt! Flirt? Seriously? What am I thinking? It could be so much worse than that. I know Ian, but guys are insane. There’s so many horrible things he could do to her…

  My gut yanks at me, knowing I just crossed a major line. Okay, I’m taking the easy route in hating Ian. He’s a good guy. Plus, if he touched her, Lucy would easily kick his soft musician ass. The pluses of dating a strong girl.

  I grab a water from the fridge. Okay, chill out, you’re totally unhinged.

  The truth is that I want to be the one stuck in that hotel with her. Why can’t that be my birthday gift?

  “Justin, we leave in ten minutes,” Mom calls from above.

  I try the number one last time. No answer. It’s dinnertime so she’s probably trudging through the snow to get food. I leave a voicemail message, but it’s totally awkward because I mention Ian way too much. I don’t want her to think I’m not trusting her. I’m not the possessive boyfriend type of guy.

  I pull my laptop out and try my last form of communication. Email. At least it’s some sort of goodbye that she can read when electronics aren’t trying to screw us over.

  Okay. I crack my knuckles.

  Dear Lucy…

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lucy

  The anchor gives a cocky look to the camera that matches his grin. “St. Paul roads will be cleared of the four and a half feet of snow by tomorrow morning. Talk about a surprise storm.” He brushes his fake tuft of hair and laughs with the female co-anchor. “I’m still shoveling off our back deck.”

  “Really? Your back deck? You have the audacity to say that? And you’re shoveling? Doubtful.” Ian says to the television from the edge of his bed.

  “Good to know you’re getting your household up and running again, Charles.” She looks at the camera. “Like Charles, many Minnesotans are already moving on from the storm.”

  Yes, if by many you mean few. We’re still stuck here!

  The screen switches to a shot of the airport and I hold in a groan. Justin’s supposed to fly out this evening. Please be closed, please be closed.

  “The runways were cleared this morning. Commercial flights resumed on time this afternoon.” They zoom in on a plane taxing on the runway. The anchorman fake chuckles, then says, “Here’s a flight heading off to Hawaii. Soon-to-be Governor Marshall and family are reported to be on board.” They cut back to the newsroom. Both anchors raise their mugs. “Happy holiday vacation to you.”

  Then I’m watching the plane take off into the gray winter sky.

  Justin.

  He didn’t even say goodbye. I grip the comforter at the end of my bed. There’s a phone here. “Why didn’t he call?” I accidently say out loud.

  Ian turns off the television. “Lucy, he must have tried. I mean, it’s Justin. He calls if he’s going to be five minutes late.”

  I shake my head. “No, he didn’t. Ian, you know I haven’t left the room for over a day.”

  “Right, because it’s too cold?”

  “Yeah, too cold.” My eyes sting.

  “He must’ve called.” Ian reaches over and puts the phone to his ear.

  “See, no messages.”

  He nods in agreement as he dials out. Dad’s going to freak when he gets this ridiculous eighty-cents-per-minute phone bill for local calls. Robbery.

  “Hello. Yes, thank you, we have enough towels for the day. I’m checking to see if any calls have come in for Lucy Zwindler? We’ve been waiting for some.” He nods, looking at me. “Five calls? And you transferred them up here? We didn’t get them.” He checks the back of the phone. “Yes, our ringer’s on. You transferred them to room 108?”

  Ian throws up his hands. “Yes, 108. We are room 108. Not 107.”

  I slink off the corner of the bed and hit the floor. She transferred them to the wrong room. I take a deep breath, struggling to hold back the tears. Because she’s an idiot, I missed his calls. I had been calling Justin on the room’s line but then his phone ran out of battery. Also, Dad called to tell me to stop since the motel was charging eighty cents a minute.

  Ian paces back and forth. “What did the callers sound like? Okay, we’ll call them back. Thank you.”

  He rocks the phone back into the receiver. I jump as he kicks the heater. Whoa.

  “This is a joke! Room 107? We better get this bill free since no one is staying in that room.” He rubs his forehead. “Okay, so one more night?”

  “Yeah, one more.” But really, it’s like fifteen. Fifteen nights of being away from Justin. It’s going to kill me. Not being in his arms, not smelling that fresh scent or feeling his scruff against my cheek.

  The cracking starts from my chest. I swallow, trying to keep everything under control. But they come. The tears show up, spilling down my cheeks.

  Ian moves off of his bed, inching toward me across the carpet. “Come here,” he says and I do, crawling over into an awkward hug. For three days, we haven’t touched. Ian’s been nothing but a gentleman, even stepping outside when I shower. Most guys wouldn’t be that aware of privacy needs. I’ve decided he’s genuinely more respectful because he has so many siblings.

  He pulls me to his chest. His clothing still smells like the coffee house, but more mocha-like. He pats my back. “I know it sucks. You’ll talk to him tomorrow. It’ll work out.”

  “Thanks. I’m sorry. I know I’m overreacting.”

  “No. Don’t apologize. Trust me, if I had to be away from my girlfriend for that long without saying goodbye, I’d be pissed.”

  I pull out of his embrace, leaning back against my bed. He does the same to his. “So you have a girlfriend?” I ask.

  He smiles crookedly. “I guess I should have emphasized the if a bit more.” He shakes his head. “No girlfriend.”

  “Did you leave one back in St. Louis?”

  “I had some girls I went out on dates with, but nothing serious.”

  “Have you asked anyone out here yet?”

  “Still working on meeting the right one to ask.”

  “You’ll meet her. I’ll keep my eyes open at school. Introduce you to someone cool.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll bump into her myself. I operate better that way.”

  “I get that,” I say, zoning in on the weird floral pattern on the carpeted floor.

  “He’s lucky,” Ian says softly, almost to himself.

  “Justin?” I ask.

  “Yeah.” He smiles at me, his blond hair still disheveled from his earlier trek to grab us lunch.

  “Why?”

  “He has you.”

  I suppress my blush. I know he’s not talking about me, me. He’s talking about the type of relationship that Justin and I have. We are lucky. It’s true.

  “You’ll find your girl someday, Ian. I’ve spent three days with you. You’re nothing short of awesome.”

  Ian stands, then helps me off the floor. “Want to escape this place to find some dinner? No reason to stay in now that you don’t have to wait for his call anymore.”

  My face heats. He knew I was
waiting in here only for Justin’s call, and he indulged it with going on all the errands and food runs in the record snow and cold. All so I wouldn’t have to miss Justin’s call. Wow.

  “You’re an awesome friend, you know that? Right?”

  Ian laughs, pulling me close to wrap the emergency blanket around my shoulders. I’ll never leave home in the winter without a coat again.

  “Whatever. That Chinese place opened up again. Sound good?”

  “Yeah, that’ll be great.”

  ***

  I scroll through my email, opening Justin’s goodbye one more time.

  Dear Lucy,

  I hate that I’m leaving you without saying goodbye. I wish I could hold you, whisper in your ear that I love you and you’re beautiful.

  Please know that you are everything to me. For the first time in my life, I’m insanely jealous. I wish I was the one stuck in that motel room with you.

  I can’t wait for New Years when I can hold you in my arms again. Warning, I’ll probably never let you go.

  Skype me text me call me the moment you can.

  I love you,

  Justin.

  One day until he’s back. I can make it.

  I’ve forced the weeks to pass quickly, keeping every moment busy. Shopping with Jen and Laura. Snow-tubing with the group. Hanging out with Ian at the coffee house. Pretty sure not a day has passed where I haven’t had something planned as I wait for my bedtime Skype date. Staring at Justin’s gorgeous, tan face is the way to fall asleep. For sure.

  On today’s distraction agenda? Picking up my Christmas gift.

  I close the laptop and throw on some lip gloss, waiting at the door near the garage. It was a weird Christmas, having no gifts under the tree. They promised something was coming, but I’d have to wait until today.

  “I’m ready!” I call out.

  “We’re coming,” Mom says as she walks through the swinging kitchen door, a bulky old video camera in hand.

  “Is this really a video-worthy gift?”

  “Yes, definitely.”

  I sidestep, making a mental note to freak out no matter what the gift is. Even if it’s an elephant ride. Though, that’d be pretty cool. Especially in winter. But really, whether it’s an elephant ride or a family field trip to learn about recycling, I’m going to pretend it’s awesome.