REMEMBER ME: GODS OF CHAOS MC

by Palomino, Honey

  “Well, look at that!”he exclaimed as I turned around.

  “What?”I stopped, turning back to face him.

  “You’ve got a tattoo!”he said. “On your back.”

  “What!”I exclaimed, trying to turn around to see my back. I couldn’t see a thing. “No way!”

  “Here, come here,”he said,“let me see it.”

  I walked over to him, my heart racing. I hadn’t noticed anything yesterday, but I hadn’t looked at my back at all. I was shocked.

  “What is it? I can’t see it,”I said, growing frustrated and frantic.

  “Here just sit down,”he said. I sat on the bed as he removed the sheet, letting it fall around me, my breasts bare, my nipples hardening in the cold, morning air.

  “Oh, yes, yes…this tells us everything. Mmm-hmm, oh, my,”he murmured.

  “What! What does it say?” Trying to yank my head around again to see it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see a thing. “Do you have a mirror in this place?”

  “Calm down, calm down, I’ll read it to you,”he said.

  “Read it? What the hell?” I was growing more anxious by the second. What could it possibly say?

  Ryder’s fingers traced a line on the small of my back as he spoke.

  “Let’s see, it says,”he paused, infuriating me further.

  “Property…,”he paused again. I was dying inside.

  “What!”I said, baffled.“Property!?”

  “…of…the…,”he paused again, his finger slowly tracing the tattoo on my back.

  “Yep…Property of the…Gods of Chaos MC!”he said, erupting in a fit of completely unmanly giggles.

  “What!”I said, hitting him and grabbing the sheet. He was laughing, and I was trying not to. “Nice joke, jerk! You really had me going there for a minute.”

  “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist, darlin’”he said, his laughter completely contagious.“Although, that wouldn’t be a bad tattoo for you to get. Your skin is a little bare.”

  “I can’t believe you!” I shook my head, laughing at him. He pulled me down, his lips capturing mine in a smile-filled kiss.

  I let him, even though I was slightly annoyed at him.

  And when his smile faded, and he pushed the sheet from my body, and his kisses trailed down to my breasts, and then found their way between my thighs, I let him do that too, even though I knew I had much more important things to do.

  ***

  Hours later, I was finally in the shower, alone, as Ryder had fallen back asleep. My body was still singing from his touch, and every inch of skin that I washed was now skin that I had shared with him. I felt like a woman that had had sex for the first time.

  I was washing my hair, my eyes closed, thinking about how amazing it had felt to fall asleep in his arms last night.

  And then, without thinking, I began humming a song.

  “Remember me…when the candlelight is gleaming…”

  The tune was faint in my memory, just a tiny flicker, then a spark, then it all came rushing back.

  The dream. The man. The song.

  My father.

  I gasped, my eyes opening with surprise.

  A memory! A real fucking memory! I slammed my eyes shut, trying to put myself back there, to take everything I could from it before it left again.

  I was in the room. I was happy, because I was with him. Because he was singing for me. I looked down on the table next to the bed that was littered with a variety of things. A rotary-dial phone. A stack of paperbacks. Empty beer bottles. Mail.

  My eyes trailed to the letter in my head, and I saw it. An address.

  605 NE 52nd

  I squinted, trying to read the city below it, but there was another piece of paper over it. I reached out my little girl hand in my mind, trying to push it away…

  “Babe, you in here?”Ryder asked, throwing open the bathroom door.

  I jumped, blinking and shaking my head, the scene in my head exploding into pieces.

  “I remembered something!”I said, my voice rising with excitement.

  “You did?” His face was at once filled with relief and regret. “What did you remember?”

  “My dad,”I smiled.“I had a vision of my dad from when I was a little girl. And I saw my house! And my address. Well, a portion of it.”

  “What! Wow! That’s amazing, Sam. Anything else?”

  I frowned, searching my memory, but came up empty.

  “No. Just my dad’s face and an address I saw on an envelope in a dream.”

  “Oh, it was a dream?”

  “Yeah, earlier, before we…well, you know,”I said, the realization that he was completely naked, and that I, too, was naked, wet and soapy did not escape my awareness. And the once again massive erection between his legs was just as impossible to ignore.

  His eyes trailed down and he arched an eyebrow appreciatively.

  “You okay?”he said, as he walked towards me.

  “Yes,”I said, the look in his eye taking my breath away.

  “Good,”he said, stepping in the shower with me.

  I nodded, my words stolen by his effect on me once more.

  “After we get out of the shower, we can look up the address online with Riot,”he said, his voice thick with emotion as his hands slid over my slick skin and he pulled me in for a kiss.

  I nodded again, letting my head fall back as his lips found my neck and his throbbing cock found my center, the needs of our bodies once again becoming the most important thing in our lives.

  ***

  Later - dressed, fed and filled with hope - I sat down with Riot as he searched for the address I had seen online. It was a long-shot, but it was all I had.

  “Okay,”Riot said,“605 NE 52nd Street?”

  “Right.”

  “And no city?”

  “Nope.”

  “Okay, well see what we come up with,”he said.

  I waited patiently, peering over his shoulder as he searched the web for the address. Three addresses came up. One was in Texas. One was in Seattle. And the third one was in Portland.

  “Ringing any bells, Sam?”Ryder asked. He was sitting on his bed, watching us.

  “Nope.”

  “Maybe if you saw the houses? You can do a Google Street View and it shows a picture of the house at that address.”

  “Yes, that’s perfect. I was on the porch in my dream, I’ll recognize it,”I said. Riot showed me the pictures of all three different houses, none of which looked anything like the house in my dream. I sighed with frustration as we finished looking at the third house.

  “Nothing,”I said.

  “Don’t get discouraged, Sam. You got something, and that’s better than nothing. It’s probably just the start of your memories coming back. I bet you’ll get more soon. Just be patient, babe,”he said, smiling at me. I walked over to him, stepping between his thighs, and he wrapped me in his arms.

  “Yeah,”I agreed, half-heartedly.

  “Everything will be okay,”he whispered in my ear. I nodded against him.

  “Thanks, Riot,”Ryder said. Riot closed his laptop and rose to his feet.

  “Sure thing. I’ll keep thinking and looking, too. See you two later,”he said, closing the door behind him.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Ryder

  The Gods sat around our meeting table, which was in the basement of the cabin. Only sworn in club members were allowed in the basement. The table we sat around was carved by my father when he first started the club, and all the important decisions were hashed out around this engraved, beloved heirloom.

  “I wanted to check in with everyone about Sam,”I said. “Most of you have met her already, and I want to apologize for bringing her in to our world without consulting with you first. I know I haven’t been available since she arrived, and I’m sorry about that, too. If there’s any business that needs to be discussed, we can do it now.”

  The brothers sitting around the table represented everything I
knew. Any semblance of family that I had was right in front of me. I loved each and every one of them, and I would do anything for them. They knew that. And I knew they would do the same for me.

  “It’s alright, Ryder,”Zander said, sitting to my left.“It’s not like you planned it.”

  “Yeah,”I replied,“that’s true. Thank you, brother.”

  I turned to look at Slade and Riot.

  “Did you guys take care of the car? And the body?”

  “Sure did, boss. Burned to a crisp, and deep in the woods. Won’t be found by anyone anytime soon.”

  “Good, okay. So, Sam had a spark of a memory today. It was an old childhood memory, but it’s something. And a partial address, but we didn’t have any luck with that yet. I’m suspecting more memories will be forthcoming pretty quickly. I just want to make sure you guys are still okay with her staying her for a while. I’m still available if you need me for business, but I want to stay close to her.”

  Zander smirked as he nodded.

  “I bet you do, boss,”he said teasingly.

  “Shut the fuck up,”I said to him, smiling over at him.

  “It’s all good, boss,”Slade said, as the others nodded in agreement. “And I’ll make sure Cherry stays busy.”

  Everyone laughed, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Yeah, you have fun with that,”I said.

  “You know it, boss, that’s how I roll,”he said, the room erupting in even more laughter.

  “Alright, guys. Zander’s gonna take over everyday business, so if you need something, run it by him.”

  “Oh,”I said,“one more thing. Sam doesn’t know I killed that guy. I’d like to keep it that way for a little while.”

  Zander looked at me curiously, his eyebrows raised.

  “What does she think happened?”he asked.

  “Well, I’m not sure exactly. I mean, she knows what happened, she just doesn’t know I put a bullet in his sorry ass.”

  “Okay, no problem,”he said, nodding thoughtfully. “Your call, boss.”

  Chair legs scratched the floor as they rose to their feet, trailing back up the stairs one by one.

  “Thanks, again, brothers,”I said to their patched backs.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Grace

  I had a memory. Finally. And yet, it was completely useless. The houses we looked at online were totally different, and much nicer, than anything I had seen in my dream.

  Disappointment filled my heart as I tried to go about my day, hoping something else would come back. Ryder kept trying to make jokes to make me smile, but I was having a hard time and it was taking all my strength not to cry again.

  “I’m going to take a walk,”I said to him after lunch.

  “You want company, babe?”he asked. I smiled. What use was coming up with a name, I thought. All he called me now that we had slept together was‘babe’, with the occasional‘darlin’or‘sweetie’thrown in. We were in his room and in between trailing our hands all over each other and making out like teenagers, I was trying to find a way to put my head back in the space it was in earlier.

  It was so frustrating knowing all my memories were in there, they were just locked away from me when I needed them the most.

  “Sure,”I said, kissing him, touching his face, running my hands along his cut as we lay on his bed together. Reluctantly, I untangled myself from him and sat up and put on those boots again.

  “Maybe I should shop for some clothes,”I said, before I realized I had absolutely no money. I felt my heart beat increase as the familiar panic reared up. I took a deep breath, and stood up, pulling him with me.

  “Never mind, I can’t afford it right now,”I said.

  He stood up, wrapping his arms around me and smiling down at me.

  “That’s alright, babe. I’ll be your sugar daddy,”his eyes twinkled.

  “Oh, yeah?”I said. “I guess I could use one of those. It’s a deal,”I said. “What do I have to do in return?” I asked teasingly, pressing my breasts into him.

  “You’re already doing it, beautiful,”he replied. “And very well, I might add.” He brushed his lips against mine, grabbed my hand and led me out the door.

  The sun was shining as we walked out of the house. Zander and Valerie, who I had met at lunch, were just leaving, both of them wrapped in leather and straddling Zander’s very loud, very large bike. Valerie had taken Cherry’s place as the clubhouse cook at lunch, and Cherry was nowhere to be seen. I didn’t ask about her, but I was grateful not to have to deal with another awkward scene.

  They waved at us, and roared off down the road, dirt kicking up behind them as they disappeared around the curve.

  “Have they been together a long time?”I asked Ryder. He was still holding my hand, and we walked down the steps and took off down the road.

  “Sure have. Been fucking forever. As long as I’ve known Zander, he’s had Valerie by his side. She’s a good old lady,”he replied, nodding his head approvingly.

  “What makes a good old lady?”I asked, slightly amused. There was definitely a bit of a misogynistic scene going on here, but everyone seemed to accept it, I noticed.

  “Well, I guess my idea of what makes a good old lady might be different than what most of the brothers would think,”he said. “I like a lady who’s a little more independent, a little more assertive, than what some of them are used to.”

  I nodded my head, falling a little in love with his head, in addition to his body.

  “If I were to have an old lady, that is,”he finished, his words hastily said, like an old habit.

  “You’ve never had one? I find that hard to believe. You’re so…,”I paused, searching for the right words,“virile.”

  He smiled.

  “Well, being…virile, as you put it…is different than having an old lady. I had one once. Julie. A long, long time ago. But she died. I’ve kinda sworn off relationships since then.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ryder,”I said. “How did she die?”

  “Car accident. We had just gotten married. It was over before it could begin.” His eyes clouded over with pain, and I didn’t know what to say. “Twenty years ago.”

  “I’m sorry,”I repeated.

  “It’s okay, like I said, it was long ago. I’m just not the old man type, that’s all,”he said.

  “Right. Right.” I got it. I did. And I was on the same page. Sure, he was fucking sexy as hell. Sure, making love to him had touched something deep inside of me, but I had no choice, and we both knew it - I had bigger fish to fry than Ryder.

  I had to either remember something else, or I had to keep searching. Something had to give. I couldn’t just stay here interrupting his life. I’m sure he had things to do, as well. I wasn’t sure what that was, and to be honest, I was afraid to ask. He already told me they were outlaws - that was why he couldn’t go to the cops with me. I understood. I had no choice but to understand, and to be entirely grateful for him at the same time. By what he told me, if he hadn’t shown up when he did, that man would have killed me. Instead of….

  Instead of what?

  “What did you do to get him to leave?”I asked Ryder quietly, still not sure I wanted to know the answer. He stopped walking, the quickest hesitation, and then began again.

  He looked out over the trees as he answered, avoiding my eyes as I tried to catch his gaze.

  “What do you mean?”he asked.

  “Well, how did you get him to stop beating me? You never said. You just said you showed up. Did he just run when he saw you? Or, what?”

  “I, um…,”he hesitated, his jaw twitching.

  “I mean, I’m so thankful you did, don’t get me wrong. I was just wondering. Did you get in a good hit before he left? He’s probably out there with a limp or a black eye…”my voice trailed off as I tried to imagine the scene.

  “Yeah, I hit him,”he said, his hand tightening around mine. I pulled it up, kissing his palm and looking over at him.

  “Thank you,”
I said, leaning into him, loving his sturdiness, his warmth, his strength.

  He was solid. I needed that.

  “I don’t know what to do now,”I said, as we continued walking. “I wish I could force the memories somehow.”