Bad Intentions
Page 13
She closed her eyes. She remembered. Her name was Helen. He'd picked her up in a Reno bar in 1946. They'd moved to Hollywood and had the kid a year later. About that much she was sure.
No.
She tried again. Her name was Helen. He'd picked her up in a Reno bar in 1946. He'd taken her to the withered old abortionist. The butcher's sharp, rusty knives had made him laugh, and after it was over he'd poured Lucky Tiger on her wounds. About that much she was sure.
No.
Again. Her name was Helen. He'd picked her up in a Reno bar in 1946....
GORILLA GUNSLINGER
-comic script-
PAGE ONE
Four Panels
Panel One:
PICTURE POSTCARD PANORAMA. A desert vista, kind of a Monument Valley look with mesas and buttes. There's a rider on horseback approaching on the left, a buckboard wagon and a woman with a shovel on the right. Maybe we see these figures in silhouette. Either way, eventually we'll see that the woman, NEVADA PINE, is dressed in riding breeches and a cavalry shirt with captain's bars, and the rider on horseback is a very large gorilla, MONJO, done up in a duster and a dirty black hat that's pinned up in front, rough-rider style— he's a fellow with big, blocky shoulders that would make the Incredible Hulk nervous and a set of enormous paws on him that would make Jack Kirby bust his pencils in envy.
CAPTION
Arizona Territory, 1874
CAPTION/MONJO
The name's Kilimanjaro, though most folks in these parts know me as Monjo. I've been three years in America. Two of them with Mr. P. T. Barnum. One on my own... unless you want to count my horse, that is...
Panel Two:
MONJO ON HORSEBACK, only we can't tell he's a gorilla. We do know that he's plenty big— it takes an ex-circus Clydesdale to hold him, and even that huge animal looks small under his bulk. But his hat is pulled low on his head, and most of his face is covered by a bandana.
CAPTION/MONJO
...I come from an old land. Some folks call it the Dark Continent. Same dimwits who call this place the New Frontier...
Panel Three:
NEVADA PINE digging in the desert sand. She has unearthed part of a fossil, a dinosaur skull.
CAPTION/MONJO
...But even a chuckleheaded prairie dog can see that there ain't much new about this land at all...
Panel Four:
NEVADA PINE shields her eyes, looking up at the passing rider.
CAPTION/MONJO
...The land has always been here...
PAGE TWO
Six Panels
Panel One:
REAR ANGLE ON MONJO. He holds up a hand as he passes Nevada. Before him, we can see a wooden sign that looks like its been painted by someone who's half-blind and all shaky: SCORPION FLATS: TWO MILE, BE YOU VULTURE OR MAN.
CAPTION/MONJO
...We're the current tenants, sure...
Panel Two:
CLOSE-UP OF MONJO'S HAND, that big bad Jack Kirby gorilla paw. In the background, Nevada is doing a double take.
CAPTION/MONJO
...but the rent's past due...
Panel Three:
LOW ANGLE ON MONJO— high overhead, behind him, drifts in a colorful balloon (with gondola) bearing the name BARNUM in ornate letters.
CAPTION/MONJO
...And while I'd like to believe that there's room enough for all of us...
Panel Four:
REVERSE ANGLE from one of the sandstone buttes in the background— four men dressed in black coats and flat-brimmed preacher hats (just like Robert Mitchum in Night of the Hunter) are watching the balloon, the gorilla, and the woman. One of the men has a nautical-style telescope.
CAPTION/MONJO
...In the long run, I ain't sure any of it matters much...
Panel Five:
HIGH ANGLE on the dinosaur fossil. Nevada stands near it, watching Monjo go. Maybe we see the ominous shadow of the balloon on the ground behind her.
CAPTION/MONJO
...'Cause when the bullet leaves the chamber, we ain't much more than tomorrow's bones...
Panel Six:
THE BALLOON GONDOLA. The occupants: three clowns who look as crazy as shithouse rats, and they've got guns, bandoleers crisscrossing their chests, maybe a big Mexican sombrero or two, the works. These boys aren't headed for a Sunday school picnic, that's for sure.
CAPTION/MONJO
If we last that long, that is.
PAGE THREE
Five Panels
Panel One:
MONJO TYING HIS MOUNT TO A HITCHING POST in front of the Scorpion Flats Saloon. Scorpion Flats is your typical dusty Western town, Sergio Leone variety.
CAPTION/MONJO
I never planned on coming to Scorpion Flats, Arizona. It was just another stop on the way from the place I was running from to wherever it was I was running to.
Panel Two:
MONJO pushing through the swinging doors of the Scorpion Flats Saloon, the kind of place where the bartender's kept so busy you wouldn't be surprise to find cobwebs on him.
Panel Three:
THAT COBWEBBED BARTENDER, a tiny fellow. He's working at cleaning a glass. Behind him there's a painting of an African jungle scene— elephants, lions, three or four gorillas. Also a bunch of wanted posters.
BARTENDER
What'll it be, stranger?
Panel Four:
MONJO AND THE BARTENDER. Monjo lowers his bandana, and the half-pint bartender's jaw drops.
MONJO
Bucket of beer should about do me.
BARTENDER
Uh... we're fresh out of beer. That's a fact. And the other fact is we don't serve no—
Panel Five:
MONJO SMILING, and it's not a pretty sight.
MONJO
Africans?
PAGE FOUR
Five Panels
Panel One:
THE BARTENDER, withering. He's shooting a thumb over his shoulder at a gallery of wanted posters.
BARTENDER
No problem with Africans, friend. Fugitive desperadoes, now that's another story.
Panel Two:
CLOSE-UP OF THE WANTED POSTER. Something like:
WANTED
MONJO
aka PRINCE KILIMANJARO
MURDERER
HORSE-THIEF
$10,000 ALIVE
NOT ONE DAMN PENNY DEAD
Panel Three:
MONJO leaning forward on the bar.
MONJO
Buy me a beer and I'll explain everything...
Panel Four:
THE JUNGLE PAINTING behind the bar.
MONJO (OS)
It's a good story —
Panel Five:
FLASHBACK. A jungle scene, very similar to the one pictured in the barroom painting, but violent instead of pastoral. A group of men in khaki explorer outfits open fire on a band of gorillas.
MONJO (OS)
-all about a very unique tribe of gorillas who lived peacefully in an undiscovered valley that one day was invaded by plunderers —
PAGE FIVE
Five Panels
Panel One:
FLASHBACK. A couple of evil-looking clowns restraining the young gorilla. Monjo is swearing at the explorers, and they're wearing shocked expressions.
YOUNG MONJO
©#%&*!
CAPTION/MONJO (OS)
-who took a young prisoner, but didn't understand his value until they sold him to a circus and he swore at them in a language no human had ever heard —
Panel Two:
FLASHBACK. A circus handbill. Monjo, a bit older, dressed in a suit. The handbill reads: P. T. BARNUM PRESENTS! PRINCE KILIMANJARO, THE ELOQUENT APE!
CAPTION/MONJO (OS)
Of course, later on, he wished he'd kept his yap shut —
Panel Three:
FLASHBACK. Young Monjo, still dressed in the suit, though now it's in tatters. He looks terrified, and two clowns stand over him with whips.
> CAPTION/MONJO (OS)
Out of the fryin' pan and straight into the fire, is how you might put it —
Panel Four:
FLASHBACK. Young Monjo standing over a couple of dead clowns, a smoking pistol gripped in his hand.
CAPTION/MONJO (OS)
But one day a couple of Bozos made a big mistake —
Panel Five:
FLASHBACK. Young Monjo riding away from a circus tent on a stolen show horse.
CAPTION/MONJO (OS)
— and the little monkey shined them on and made his exit.
PAGE SIX
Five Panels
Panel One:
MONJO. If it's a wide panel, we might see some menacing silhouetted clowns behind him.
MONJO
Like I say, it's a good story, and I've worked up a powerful —
GOBBO (OS)
We don't have time for fairy tales, banana-breath—
Panel Two:
THREE CLOWNS — Flemmo, Gobbo, and Hemmro — armed and dangerous.
FLEMMO
We've got a balloon outside.
GOBBO
C'mon, knuckle dragger.
HEMMRO
Mr. Barnum's gonna be real glad to see you again.
Panel Three:
MONJO easing open his duster.
MONJO
Well, Flemmo, Gobbo, and Hemmro. You boys look about as pert as three ruttin' bucks. I guess it would be kind of silly to tell you —
Panel Four:
THE GUN strapped to Monjo's leg. It's a rifle with a cut-down barrel and a large, looping lever-action big enough to accommodate Monjo's large hand, the whole rig secured in a snap-down holster. A fan of old TV Westerns would recognize it as a cross between Chuck Connors' Rifleman rifle and Steve McQueen's "mare's leg" from Wanted: Dead or Alive.
MONJO
— that I'm feelin' real peaceable today.
Panel Five:
GOBBO laughing.
GOBBO
HAH AH AHA! That would be silly, wouldn't it boys?
PAGE SEVEN
Five Panels
Panel One:
THE THREE CLOWNS, cocking their weapons, expressions serious.
FLEMMO
Damn silly.
HEMMRO
Too damn silly.
SFX (PISTOLS COCKING)
CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
Panel Two:
MONJO eases the rifle into his hand.
MONJO
Now you boys shouldn't have gone and done that. Remember what they say —
Panel Three:
MONJO'S FACE, or maybe just his eyes.
MONJO
— monkey see, monkey do.
Panel Four:
GOBBO, same kind of shot as we've just had on Monjo.
GOBBO
Throw down, you flea-bitten banana-eatin' jungle —
NEVADA (OS)
Excuse me —
Panel Five:
NEVADA PINE, the woman archaeologist seen on pages one and two, standing between the clowns and Monjo. She looks amused and they look exasperated.
NEVADA
— do you gentlemen realize that you're about to gun down one of the greatest scientific marvels of the century?
PAGE EIGHT
Four Panels
Panel One:
THE CLOWNS.
FLEMMO
Well, I'll be dipped in greasepaint. If this don't beat all.
GOBBO
Lady, our boss owns the paper on this so-called "scientific marvel."
HEMMRO
Meaning the hairy sumbitch is our property.
Panel Two:
NEVADA BACKING TOWARD MONJO, her hand hovering over a Navy Colt in her gun belt.
NEVADA (A)
Sorry to hear you boys feel that way.
NEVADA (B)
I guess you really are as dumb as you look.
Panel Three:
MONJO.
MONJO
Uh... Ma'am? Meaning no disrespect, but don't you figure —
Panel Four:
THE CLOWNS opening fire.
GOBBO
Figure this, freak!
PAGE NINE
Five Panels
Panel One:
GOOD-SIZE PANEL OF MONJO AND NEVADA. Bullets are whizzing around them, and they're returning fire.
SFX (GUNSHOTS)
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Panel Two:
THE CLOWNS, shot up, dead or dying. Note: later, it's revealed that Hemmro survived the gunfight (barely).
Panel Three:
MONJO SMILES AT NEVADA, and she's smiling back.
MONJO
Crackerjack shooting... for a woman.
NEVADA
You do all right yourself. For an ape, I mean.
MONJO
Ouch.
Panel Four:
NEVADA.
NEVADA
My name's Nevada Pine... and my late husband was a cavalry captain. He taught me how to shoot. What's your story?
Panel Five:
MONJO pushing through the swinging doors, Nevada watching him go.
MONJO
No story at all. Gracias and adios about says it.
NEVADA
Wait!
PAGE TEN
Five Panels
Panel One:
MONJO AND NEVADA. He's standing beside her buckboard. She stands in the doorway of the saloon, and his back is to her. We can see the dinosaur skull in the back of the wagon, along with a bedroll and some books.
NEVADA
Don't you think you owe me that much?
MONJO
Lady, I figure you're the type knows my story —
Panel Two:
CLOSE SHOT OF THE BOOKS next to the dinosaur skull. There's a leather strap around them, but the title of the top book can be clearly seen. It's MAN'S LOST BROTHER by CHARLES DARWIN, and there's a picture of Monjo dressed in a suit on the cover.
MONJO (OS)
— chapter and verse.
Panel Three:
MONJO. THE BARNUM BALLOON is nearby, tied and staked in the street.
MONJO
Still, talking can't hurt much. Leastways, now that I've opened my big yap again.
Panel Four:
NEVADA AND MONJO. Nevada looks happy. Monjo looks resigned. Both are seen as through a telescopic lens.
Panel Five:
FOUR MEN ON HORSEBACK (THE SONS OF ADAM). They're wearing string ties cinched so tight it looks like they never have to breathe. Their clothes are immaculate despite the fact that they are on horseback— suits and wide-brimmed preacher hats black as midnight, shirts as white as hard-boiled eggs. The man who holds the telescope is taller, handsomer than the rest. He is BROTHER JOSHUA. The others are BROTHER TIM, BROTHER AMOS, and BROTHER FRED.
BROTHER AMOS
Even the whores of Babylon did not consort with jungle beasts.
BROTHER TIM
Hallelujah, Brother Amos.
BROTHER FRED
Is it time to be about the Lord's business. Brother Joshua?
BROTHER JOSHUA
Yes, Brother Fred. But first we've got to see a man about a gorilla.
PAGE ELEVEN
Six Panels
Panel One:
INT. BARROOM. The bartender is sweeping up the mess left from the gunfight. Behind him. Brother Joshua and his men push through the swinging doors. The bartender doesn't see who he's speaking to before he answers Brother Joshua's greeting.
BROTHER JOSHUA
A word with you, neighbor?
BARTENDER
Only words I got in me right now are damn, double damn, and God —
Panel Two:
BROTHER JOSHUA, who's drawn his pistol just that fast. We may not see this yet, but tattooed on the fingers of Joshua's right hand is the name ADAM (running pinkie to index finger); on his left, there is a serpent running the length of his index finger, and EVE is tattooed on the rema
ining fingers. NOTE: all of Brother Joshua's men bear these tattoos.
BROTHER JOSHUA
Neighbor, I'd let it rest right there if I were you.