Reading Tara (Growing Up Ashton Book 1)

by Kathryn Hewitt

  “Zach???” I turned and glared at him. He took a step back.

  “God Tara, you could have said you were coming down. We thought you’d taken one look at us and gotten back in bed. Anyway, Will may have had a little bit too much to drink.” Really. You don’t say. “But when we got him home, he couldn’t remember if he had keys and we certainly weren’t going to dig around his pockets looking for any.” Men. I hoped that they couldn’t see my eye-roll in the darkness. “So we hoped you would let us in since we knew you were home.” What is this, let’s insult Tara for being reliable? It was Friday night, I could have had plans….Yeah, right. I was actually glad he was just drunk because from upstairs, he looked unconscious.

  “Ok, so what exactly is your next step in this brilliant plan of yours?” I demanded as I crossed my arms. Sorry, but I was really comfortable in bed and don’t exactly appreciate being awakened in the night by a gaggle of teenage boys who just needed someone to deal with their problem.

  Zach looked a little chagrined. “Well, that’s the thing. We kind of only got as far as the getting you part.” His shoulders kind of slumped. I rolled my eyes…again.

  “Fine. At the very least, I need you guys to get him upstairs. How much did he have?”

  “Well…we kind of took him to a house party, since it was his birthday and all. They had a keg and you know how hard it gets to keep track of how many times you refill those red cups….”

  “It’s his 18th birthday, not his 21st.” It slipped out before I could stop it, realizing too late that I sounded like a prude. I don’t generally drink but that doesn’t mean I haven’t. “Anyway, boys?” I looked at Calen and then at Paul. Then I flicked my wrist toward the house and turned on my heel, heading back in. I could hear them trying to coax Will up but I didn’t feel like that was my responsibility. They got him into this mess. Instead, I went into the kitchen and filled a large glass with cold water and grabbed a couple of pain relievers. By the time I came back to the stairs, the guys stood there propping Will up.

  “Move him up.” I instructed. I started up the stairs first, figuring hey, they had best be able to figure out a way to drag him up them. Secretly though, I was praying, ‘No Puke, No Puke, Please Don’t Puke on the stairs’. We all know who’d have to clean that up. They managed to drag him into his room and dropped him on his bed. I closed my eyes, counted to three, then looked at Calen and Paul.

  “Thanks guys. I guess I’ve got this from here. I do NOT condone what you have allowed my brother to do, but I also know that he did this to himself. Sorry you had to deal with it, but thanks a lot. Also, you guys are jackasses. Get home safely please. And tell Zach his ass is grass.” With that, they practically ran out of the room and down the stairs. I heard the front door slam, at which point Will moaned. Oh no. He kind of lurched, while still half lying on the bed, and I knew this was trouble. I reached toward him, grabbed a whole lot of dead weight, and tried to launch him towards his bathroom. He made a weird whining sound, but between the two of us, we stumbled to the bathroom and he, thank god, made it to the toilet in time.

  I wanted to feel sorry for him but it was just so hard. I spent the majority of the night with him either embracing the toilet bowl or plastered to the floor. At one point, with his cheek pressed to the cool tile, he exclaimed how he’d never been more comfortable in his life. Wow. Regardless, I mostly pitied him. My main concern was that he was going to die of alcohol poisoning, so I insisted on staying with him until he was weak with exertion, but seemed to have cleaned himself out. I kept pressing him to sip water, finally forcing him back to his bed. I made him drink another big glass of water, and pulled his comforter over him. He was already passed out, thankfully on his side, by the time I went to turn out the light.

  Once in my room, it felt like I’d lived several days since I’d had the rocks thrown at my window. For a second, remembering that moment kind of depressed me. Only I would have someone throw a rock at my window to wake me up, just to tell me that I had 3 hours of puke duty to deal with. Awesome. As I crawled into bed, I noticed my cell phone flashing. I had a new message. It was from an unknown number. Groaning, I checked the text.

  Hope you finally got to go back to sleep. –Calen.

  I think I sighed audibly.

  After seriously obsessing all weekend, I had a lot of pent up frustration by the time we got to school on Monday. Will had recovered, although Saturday had been rough for him. At lunch, the girls and I huddled around our table. Lisa barely ate because she was a vegan, and what she brought from home wasn’t always enough to supplement the school’s menu. The rest of the girls ate as if they hadn’t eaten since last week, which I loved. Today was burrito day in the caf. I pretended to be as enamored with the meal as the rest of them, but my appetite just wasn’t there.

  Finally Sam, after smoothing her hands over her curly pixy cut hair, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “What.”

  “What?” I countered.

  “Oh come on Tara, what is up with you today?” I saw her fight the urge to roll her eyes.

  “Um, thanks?” Then I coughed, but it sounded suspiciously like, “bitch”. I really did have something wrong with me. “I’m sorry. I’ve just sort of been freaking out about something all weekend and apparently, I haven’t gotten passed it.” Suddenly, all eyes were upon me. So I showed them my phone, with the message from Calen. Sarah sucked in a breath.

  “He texted you? Too bad it wasn’t something sexy….Although, going back to sleep? What does that mean?” Jenny asked.

  “That’s the thing.” I proceeded to recount the night with Will’s debacle, leaving out most things that might embarrass him. “But the issue is, how did he get my number? I never gave it to him, and we all know that Will lives in this strange alternate universe where I am his sister but not a girl who people might actually look at, so it’s not like he’d have given it….”

  Suddenly, Sarah sort of squeaked. We all looked at her. I exchanged a confused glance with Sam, and then it slammed into me. “You gave him my number?!” Sarah seemed to crawl into herself a little bit more.

  “Well, I ran into him after we went the game that night. I didn’t think he remembered me, but he came up to me and started a conversation, asking if we’d had fun that night. I just sort of started rambling and somehow I ended up telling him he should call you. Then I practically vomited out your number.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what got into me. But he’s just so tall and dreamy and I swear, if you look into his eyes you suddenly lose all sense of normalcy….” She trailed off, looking so disappointed in herself. I wanted to hug her or something.

  “It’s ok, Sarah. Stop beating yourself up. It’s not a big deal.” It was a big deal. But the crestfallen look on Sarah’s face broke my heart. I could never really hold anything against her. Besides, was this really the end of the world? A cute guy got my number. No harm, no foul. I smiled at her. She really needed to let up on herself.

  “Oh my gosh, Tara. I have been terrified ever since it happened. I have been berating myself about the whole thing. Seriously, I think I now have an ulcer.” She glanced at me.

  “It’s ok. Sarah, look at me. It’s not that big of a deal. I forgive you or whatever.” She looked so grateful that I felt like an asshole. Jeez. “It’s cool. Really.”

  After that, time pushed forward, school went on, responsibilities still pressed on me. There was a little bit of comfort in the routine. But every once in a while, I’d get a text and it was always sweet. Usually something like,

  just checking that you’re doing alright

  or

  just saw a Charlie Brown special and thought of you.

  I wasn’t sure how I reminded him of a little boy with an absurdly round bald head, but I always cherished his texts. Sometimes I responded, but I usually kept it light. I didn’t want him to stop texting, but I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. Either way, it gave me a little bit of a thrill.

  ꧁6꧂

  M
y brother must definitely be bipolar or something because on Saturday night there was a pound on my door, followed by a bellow from Will that sounded suspiciously like, “Tara!” I got up from my desk where I’d been doing some homework and opened the door. He glanced in and started laughing.

  “What?” I scowled at him.

  “You’re doing homework…on a Saturday night?” I just stared at him. “Well, good thing your brother is super awesome. We’re gonna watch Army of Darkness downstairs, you should come. Zach is there too.” I pretended to think this over, even though I was secretly thrilled that Will was inviting me to join him. He never did that.

  “Ok, I’ll be down in a sec. Don’t start without me.” Then I slammed the door in his face. I didn’t even bother changing out of the yoga pants and tank I’d been wearing, but I did throw on this grey sweatshirt that I’d cut the neck out of, so that it sort of hung off one shoulder, before heading downstairs.

  When I came into the room, Zach was sitting there with Will and Mike, as was Calen. I smiled at the room. Then surveying the situation, I offered to make some popcorn, which was met with approval.

  When I returned with two big bowls of popcorn and an armload of bottled waters, the room was dark and the movie had already started. Thanks guys. Also, the spot where I’d planned to sit was now taken by Paul, who must have arrived while I was in the kitchen. I stalled for a second as I was putting the popcorn and water down on the table. The only seat left was next to Calen on the couch. This was so good and SO bad.

  Trying not to look like an idiot, I just sat down next to him. What else was I supposed to do? He looked at me and smiled a small but friendly smile. I gave him a similar one back and then tucked my bare feet underneath me and started to watch the movie. I’d seen it before, and although I really liked it, my mind began to wander. The popcorn disappeared immediately, not to my surprise, and I considered offering to make more, but I wasn’t their freaking maid.

  About halfway through the movie, I suddenly became aware of Calen next to me. Like, more aware than just the usual hot-guy-sitting-next-to-you bell that had gone off in my head when I’d sat down. Was it my imagination or had the distance between us lessened? I didn’t think I’d moved, and I didn’t think he’d moved, but the space had definitely closed. We weren’t quite touching, but I could feel his heat. And let me tell you, I did Not mind.

  My left foot was falling asleep so I shifted to pull it out and put it on the ground. I swear it wasn’t intentional, but in shifting I had to lean a little toward Calen and our hands and arms brushed. I kind of froze. Then, as if in slow motion, I felt his warm hand shift and his pinky link with mine. I was going to pass out. I quickly scanned the room but Will was watching the movie and it was pretty dark in here. I’d never held hands like this before, but there was something thrilling about it.

  I didn’t pull away, but my heart was pounding in my chest. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. What was going on? Now I really couldn’t concentrate on the movie. Holy Guacamole. My hair was hot on my neck and I wanted to pull it up into a pony tail, but I now only had one hand and damned if I was going to extricate the other from Calen’s. I had no idea what was happening, but I was channeling all my energy into not grinning like an idiot. I think I did fairly well.

  Then just like that, the movie ended and Will jumped up to turn on the lights. I withdrew my hand and started to pull my hair into a bun, hoping if anyone had seen my hand moving, they’d just assume that that’s what I was doing. I couldn’t even look at him, I was so….embarrassed? No. More like awkward and uncertain. I felt like my cheeks were on fire and wished the lights weren’t so bright. Then Calen leaned forward and took a water bottle and started to lean back but then seemed to change his mind and reached for a second one. He turned and offered it to me, not having said a word.

  He smiled as I accepted it from him and I smiled shyly back and whispered a “thank you”. Then I looked away and jumped up. “Well boys, I’m off to bed. Thanks for providing me with ample nightmare material and for saving me from the homework I was doing.” Will shot me an incredulous look that clearly said, ‘Way to admit that you were doing homework on a Saturday night, dumbass.’ I ignored him. “See you on the flip side, losers.” And with that, I left the room.

  ***

  I woke up especially early on Sunday because I really wanted to go for a run before the household woke. It was always easier to do my own thing when everyone else was unconscious. My alarm went off and I groaned. This may have been my idea, but I still didn’t have to like it. Finally, I dragged myself out of bed and realized that my favorite running pants were in the laundry room. Dang it. So, knowing that everyone else was currently the living dead, I went down stairs in the oversized tee shirt that I’d slept in. I entered the living room and…Oh. No.

  Oh no oh no oh no.

  There was Calen, quietly sitting on the couch. I jumped about 2 feet back and an unearthly sound tore from me. Not only did he scare the bejeezus out of me, I was half naked. And, I looked like death. Trying to still my beating heart without truly looking at him, I attempted to scurry by but was frozen when he started to speak.

  “I didn’t mean to startle you Tara. I’m so sorry. Will and I planned to shoot some hoops, but he wasn’t quite ready when I got here. He said to just wait down here while he threw his clothes on.”

  Seriously. No. Please, No.

  Still not really looking at him, and silently praying that my shirt had miraculously lengthened another few inches, I nodded and shot off to the laundry room. Once I reached it, I almost retched. Why does fate hate me so much?? Why must I be punished so? Not only did I just run into Calen after I’d rolled out of bed, but I was praying that he didn’t get a flash of the granny panties I was wearing. Note to self: a robe is a Must.

  Stupid Will.

  ꧁7꧂

  I woke up Monday to the chime of my phone. It was time to get up anyway, but I rubbed my eyes and reached for the phone. The text read:

  I’m sorry that I scared you. I, myself, enjoyed the

  show.

  That was all it said. Seriously? What the Hell? I couldn’t decide if I was more confused now, or if the blush that turned my cheeks rosy was an indication of something. I groaned. Throwing the phone down, I went to take a shower.

  Sadly, what I thought would be a relaxing reprieve, ended up being much more of a mind Eff than I wanted. Why had Calen texted me this early? And why would he say something so flirtatious? Or had I read into it?? I couldn’t figure it out. Eventually, Will and I went to school and there was luckily just enough going on that I was able to push the text to the back of my mind.

  What I couldn’t ignore was the upcoming Homecoming Dance. It was all anyone could talk about. I hadn’t given the idea too much thought, what with my newly inherited job of caring for a family of 5, but apparently I was the only one. At lunch, Sam was regaling us with tales of how many guys had already asked her. Lisa kind of had an on-again off-again guy, so she figured they’d go together. Jenny was toying with the idea of calling her College boy, and Sarah seemed less interested in going than me. I was the only one lacking in options, and I admit, I didn’t really mind.

  While I was thinking this, a shadow fell over me. The girls clammed up. I heard someone clear their throat and then I heard, “Uh, Tara?” Turning around, there stood a guy I’d known throughout high school. He was sort of cute, with brown eyes and messy blonde hair. We weren’t really friends but we were nice to each other when we had class. He’d actually been my lab partner in Biology, freshman year.

  “Hi Bobby.”

  He cleared his throat again. “Uh, Tara? I was sort of wondering, um, well, if you were going to the dance?”

  “I hadn’t really thought much about it…” I trailed off.

  “Well, if you didn’t already have someone to go with, I was sort of wondering…um…would you want to go with me?” He looked unbelievably hopeful. My friends all stared at me expectantly. What the He
ll? I took a deep breath. Why not?

  “Sure Bobby. I’d love to go with you.” Everyone let out a breath of air. Was I that unpredictable that they thought I would hurt this boy’s feelings in front of everyone? Jeez. Where’s the love? Bobby looked incredibly relieved. Almost joyful, which made my stomach hurt a little.

  “Well, anyway, I will see you around. We can talk about the details later. Thank you.” He walked away. Thank you? Oh dear. What had I gotten myself into? Right then, I felt a tingle. I looked up and met Calen’s eyes from across the cafeteria. I couldn’t really read much into his stare, but he held my gaze until I had to look away. Wow. I couldn’t even make sense of this right now.

  ***

  The girls wanted to go shopping for homecoming and I couldn’t come up with a reason not to. Sarah was going stag, but we were all going to go as a group so it didn’t really matter. Besides, I knew she only had eyes for Zach. I hadn’t gleaned much 411 about my brother and his friends, regarding Homecoming. I didn’t care per say, but I hoped Zach wouldn’t break Sarah’s heart if she ever got up the nerve to approach him, and I hoped my brother had someone to go with. As for Calen, I wasn’t exactly sure what I hoped for.

  Trying on dresses, we’d come out of the dressing rooms and model them for each other. It was all amusingly 80’s montage. All we needed was a Hall & Oats soundtrack and a few more high fives and thumbs ups. We were pretty adorable, I must admit. Finally, I settled on a dress in eggplant that stopped just above my knees. It was one shouldered, and the strap was ornately braided, sort of Grecian. It had gold detail throughout the bodice, and it really emphasized my natural curves. Everyone oohed and ahhed as I had done for them, but we were all genuine. This had actually turned out to be a really fun adventure and reminded me that it was ok to have fun.