Reading Tara (Growing Up Ashton Book 1)

by Kathryn Hewitt

  “No fair. You can’t ask my sister that, I’m automatically out of the running. I already told you, it’s clearly me. Besides, I don’t think my sister has hit puberty yet.” I fought the urge to backhand him.

  “Princess?” Zach repeated. I pretended to hate it when he called me that, a habit he’d started when I was in the fourth grade and had thrown a fit about not being allowed to wear a party dress to school. I know, Embarrassing. But really, it was just kind of cute and reminded me of how much I liked our sibling-like relationship.

  Calen shook his head. I couldn’t tell if he was amused or annoyed by the turn in the conversation. I pretended to think long and hard about the question. “Well…” I drew out the word as I tapped my forefinger against my cheek. “I guess it depends on what you’re looking for. If an egotistical prick is your thing, then my brother might actually be right about himself. And we all know you have my heart, Zachary.” He beamed. Then I continued. “But, there are a few others I wouldn’t mind getting to know a little better.” I definitely think the beer was talking. And apparently controlling my every thought since right after I completed that statement, I looked at Calen. The corner of his mouth quirked up so quickly, I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it. Simultaneously, I sensed my brother stiffening. Uh oh.

  “Anyway,” I charged forward. “I’m going to go get clean sheets from the basement so I can replace the dirty ones I removed from the futon. BRB.” I jumped up and went into the kitchen. I heard the boys resume a more innocuous conversation as I rinsed out my beer bottle and set it next to the sink. Grabbing a flashlight, I headed to the door to downstairs. I was so caught up in the embarrassment of practically throwing myself at Calen, I wasn’t as careful as I usually was when I went downstairs. Plus, I suspect I kind of buzzing. What a light weight! I sighed.

  I had made it down two steps when I heard a strange creak. Pausing, I flicked my flashlight around but didn’t notice anything strange. My heart began to quicken, but that was the only indication that something might be amiss. Flashing again to the idea of hippie squatters, I pushed those thoughts away. It was just dark and I didn’t generally come down here once the sun had set. I picked up my foot to step down on the next step and heard another creak. I sucked in a breath and suddenly, there was no step beneath me and the flashlight flew from my grasp. In fact, as my foot slipped, I couldn’t even see the next steps down as they disappeared into the black abyss. As I realized that I was going with them, I wondered how long it would take for Will to notice that I had never come back, and wondered if breaking several bones at once hurt more or the same as breaking just one at a time. I then wondered how I was even having time to contemplate such a stupid thought.

  As gravity snaked around me and gave a tug, I couldn’t make sense of why I felt weightless. Is this what it felt like to plummet to your death? It was just one story but I was falling into blackness and who knew what would break my fall once I reached the cement floor of the basement. And why wasn’t I more scared?

  And WHY WASN’T I FALLING?

  That’s when I realized that I was being suspended in the open air by two hands that firmly held me underneath my arms. I suddenly had an irrational gratitude that I was wearing deodorant. I then was rising back up and being pulled through the doorway into the kitchen. I felt my legs give out as I tried to understand what was happening. The arms wouldn’t allow me to collapse, supporting my weight. I leaned into Calen, realizing he’d grabbed me before I could plummet. Wow. He was strong.

  I sucked in air and without thinking, I threw my arms around him. He froze for a split second, and then wrapped his arms around me. I felt a sob rising in my throat, and clung to Calen. The fear crashed into me, belatedly. I was vaguely aware that he was rubbing my back, but all I could really think about was how I had almost just fallen to certain injury, if not worse, and Calen had saved me. That, and the fact that he smelled really good. Like, REALLY good.

  As my breathing slowed, I realized that I had my head pressed to his chest. It was broad and hard, and damn if it didn’t feel like heaven. Especially since his hand had come up and his fingers were running through my hair. We stood there like that for what felt like an eternity, until I finally found my voice. I looked up at him and his hand stilled, then dropped. I released him but I couldn’t break eye contact. My chest was still rising and falling as my heart pounded in my chest.

  “Thank you,” I croaked. His mouth twitched. Then he seemed to remember himself.

  “You’re welcome, but you don’t have to thank me.”

  “How did you know to grab me?” I asked. He looked away.

  Glancing back, he said, “I went to get a glass of water from the kitchen and I heard you call out.” Had I called out? At the time, I felt like I had been trapped in my own silent Hell.

  “Oh.” It was all I could muster.

  “Let’s go back to the living room. The fire will be good for you.” He sounded so calm, but I thought I caught a flicker of relief in his expression.

  “Ok.” I really needed to work up to sentences that were longer than one word. He put his hand on the small of my back and steered me back toward where Zach and Will were still debating, having moved on to which Die Hard movie was better. I suddenly wondered if plunging into a black abyss might actually be preferable.

  How had Calen been right there to grab me? I hadn’t even comprehended what was happening, how had he? And I really did not remember calling out. I sat there is silence as the evening went on, too dazed with the aftermath of the experience. I sensed Calen glancing at me every so often with a masked expression of concern, as if he were afraid I’d either disappear or completely freak out. Distantly, that kind of made me happy. Finally I curled up in the blanket and succumbed to what could only be post-traumatic oblivion.

  I woke to movement around me. Will and Zach had already collected up the remaining beer (of which there was little), and Will, heading toward the door, called over his shoulder to me, “Wake up, Woman. We’re going home.” If I’d been more awake, I’d probably have thrown something at him, but instead I just groaned. Then I felt gentle hands lifting me up, pulling me into a standing position and I heard Calen chuckle.

  “You really are small,” he muttered, slightly shaking his head. I thought I should be offended, but I was only 5’2”. He was at least a foot taller than me. Will and I resembled each other for the most part, and despite his hair being darker, his eyes were the same hazel gold as mine. The large exception was that he was epically taller than I was. Will was about 6 feet, tall enough that he blended in with the rest of the basketball team. Even Beth was a good 4 inches taller than me. I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles. I always just told myself I was ‘compact’.

  Tearing myself out of my reverie, I became aware that I was just standing there like a dork. Calen gave me a once over, then grabbed me by my wrist and led me out. Once outside, he dropped it like it had burned him, but I suspected that it might have had something to do with the look my brother sent him. I was still too groggy to care.

  I immediately climbed into the back seat and fell back to sleep. It wasn’t until we’d gotten home that I realized that it was Zach who was slumped next to me and that Calen was driving. Clearly the safer choice, I didn’t even have to ask to know he’d volunteered. Will and Zach were pretty tipsy and Calen had barely had a beer. Compared to his size, that probably had the effect of a coke.

  The car came to a stop and my brother let out an irritating imitation of a train whistle. I climbed out slowly, still feeling out of it. Calen declined Will’s invitation to stay and play video games with him and Zach, so Zach and Will charged into the house, already placing bets on who’d win. I was moving slower. I took a couple steps away from the car, then abruptly turned around. Calen was standing there staring at me. I walked back towards him, threw my arms around his waist and gave him a squeeze, indulging my still lingering need for comfort. I then dropped my hands and took a step back.

  “Thank
you again.” I hoped the depth of my gratitude was apparent in my eyes. He smiled a sad smile.

  “I told you. It was nothing.” I nodded and turned back toward the house. Almost to the door, I heard him call my name. I turned back to look at him.

  “I almost forgot.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out my beanie as he closed the distance between us. He gently tugged it over my hair and down, securing it on my head. He smiled his beautiful smile as he said quietly, “Sweet dreams Tara.” With that, he pivoted around and sauntered over to his car. I watched as he got in and started the engine. He gave me a little salute and pulled away.

  I reached up and felt my hat, which was warm against my head. I went into the house and straight up to my room. Once inside, I pulled off my beanie and held it to my nose. I inhaled a scent that was both foreign and familiar. It smelled like spring. It smelled like Calen. I inhaled again and was swathed in smells of grass, and freshness, and sunshine. I closed my eyes. He’d had my beanie in his sweatshirt pocket and now it smelled like him. Pulling on pajamas, I curled up in bed clutching my beanie, surrounding myself by his scent. I quickly fell asleep.

  ꧁11꧂

  I awoke to my brother’s obnoxious voice.

  “What are you doing, Freak?” He always spoke so loudly. I opened one eye and gave him a death glare. Forcing my other eye to join in the battle against evil, I stared him down.

  “What does it look like I’m doing? I was sleeping. And why the hell are you in my room? Ever heard of knocking?”

  “First of all, I’m not technically in your room. I’m in the doorway.” He smirked. “And second of all, I did knock. Twice. I should have known that you didn’t answer because you were making sweet passionate love to a beanie.” He looked highly amused.

  I was what? I looked down and immediately felt depressed to admit that I was definitely cuddling my hat. This was awkward. Pushing past that, I tossed the beanie aside, sitting up and brushing my hair out of my face. “May I help you?” The saccharin sweetness in my voice only conveyed how extremely annoyed I really was.

  “Yeah. I’m going to have brunch with the guys, but my laundry needs to be switched from the washer to the dryer in like 20 minutes. Can you do that for me?” Brunch? With the guys? I had to resist the urge to giggle.

  “And you felt the need to wake me up so that I’d play your maid?” I asked.

  “Well, yeah. That kind of sucked, but I’m out of boxers. I’m already going commando right now.” I fought the desire to vomit. “So, I really need the laundry dealt with.” I groaned.

  “Fine. Bring me back a donut.”

  “Ok.” Satisfied, he left. After my door had closed, I rolled over and went back to sleep.

  ***

  When I reopened my eyes, it was to my brother glaring at me. Waking up to his mug had got to stop.

  “Dammit Tara.” He was scowling at me.

  “What?” I didn’t want to know.

  “I needed that laundry changed. I have a date and I have no clean underwear. You said you’d deal with it!” He was getting riled up.

  “Sorry. I fell back asleep. I’m sure there’s enough time to get it dry. Worse comes to worst, we’ll just dry a few pieces, like your unmentionables, and that will take less time to dry than a whole load.” He still just stared at me, his jaw working.

  “You know, I ask you for one favor and you can’t even pull through for me.” He wasn’t letting this go. An image flashed through my head of my drying a pair of boxers with my hair dryer. I shuddered.

  “Ok. I get it. Sorry. It will be ok.” God, he was such a drama queen. “Who is your date with, anyway?” He didn’t answer, instead throwing a waxy paper bag at me. It had a glazed old fashion donut inside, my favorite kind. Ok, now I was actually feeling guilty. “Thanks?” I hoped he wasn’t going to take it back.

  “Whatever,” he muttered. Then he strode out of the room. I climbed out of bed and went straight downstairs. I didn’t quite understand the state of emergency here, but I had said I’d change his laundry and then gone right back to sleep. I gathered the wash and threw it into the dryer. I turned the heat up, evilly thinking that it would serve him right if all of his clothes shrank a bit. Man, I was really going all Vadar these days.

  I called Sarah after going back to my room. I had to confide in someone. I kind of fudged the details about the stair incident, saying I tripped and Calen had steadied me, but she still thought that it was super romantic. Then I told her about our embrace. I emphasized that it was just a hug, but I could feel the cartoon hearts emanating from the top of her head, through the phone.

  “I just knew it. When he said hi to you at the restaurant, I wondered. But when you guys danced at Homecoming, it was like you were the only two people in the room. He is so going to ask you out.”

  “No he’s not, Sarah,” I insisted, although I did feel a little giddy. “He’s not interested. And Will has all but spelled out that he would not be pleased with that scenario.”

  “What’s with Will? He’s never cared about you and guys before. Remember when you were dating that Goth kid with all those piercings? Will wasn’t even fazed.” How could I forget? One of my many questionable life choices. But she was right, he hadn’t blinked an eye. So what was it about Calen? Was it really that he thought Calen was out of my league? I mean I knew he was, but it didn’t help my self-esteem to be told that was the case.

  “I don’t know.” I sighed. “Either way, it’s a moot point. Have you talked to the girls?” Changing the subject felt like the necessary step.

  “Yeah, Sam has some date tonight and Lisa and Jenny are going to see a movie and we’re invited. I would like to go, but I’m a little short on funds so it will depend on if I can sweet talk my dad into lending me a bit.” I clamped my jaw down. It would sure be nice if I had a dad around who I could sweet talk. But that wasn’t Sarah’s fault. I held my tongue.

  “Ok, well I’m going to shower. Let me know if you’re going to the movies, I might tag along.” We said our goodbyes and hung up.

  The day dragged on, the only strange thing being Will lurking in the laundry room, frequently checking if his laundry had dried. What was his deal? I finally snapped at him that it was never going to dry if he kept stopping it to check, and he disappeared into his room. Since when did he date on Sunday nights?

  He probably had some hot date with a college chick from the university. He did that occasionally, meeting them at clubs when he’d go see shows. Usually he lied and said he was also in college. I snickered. Boys would go to the ends of the earth to get laid, and high school boys knew that college girls put out. Whatever. Men might actually be from Mars.

  ꧁12꧂

  Another lame week flew by, and it was Friday again. After school, I spent the afternoon moping around the house, but in a very stealthy way. I did my best to avoid my sister and the Dickster. Skirting my mom wasn’t too tough since she spent all of her time in her room, and when she wasn’t, you’d think I was a ghost. But I still saw her so I tried to avoid that uncomfortable situation.

  Late in the afternoon, Will pounded on my door. I always knew his telltale knock…it was like a giant trying to knock lightly. Getting up, I let him in. He lounged in the doorway, looking nonchalant, acting like I was bothering him.

  “Yes…?” He could be so obtuse.

  “Well, I guess there’s this thing on the beach. I know how you like bonfires on the beach, so I thought you’d like to come.” Well I do Declare! And here he’d accused me of growing a heart.

  “Uh, yeah, I’d love that. You always come home smelling like a burnt marshmallow, but that’s half the fun. What beach?”

  “Seabright beach…a bunch of people from school are going to be there. Bring your girls.”

  “Sure. What time?”

  “I don’t know. Just don’t show up at like 6. Keep it cool.” He swiveled around and left. How could you love and hate someone so much?!

  I immediately called Sarah and then Sam. They
were obviously down, and Sam said she’d call Lisa and Jenny. Excellent. I didn’t mention the real reason I wanted to go. Obvi his name started with a ‘Ca’ and ended with a ‘len’ but I wanted to keep that between me and me. I didn’t even know if he’d be there, but it was worth a shot.

  We all tumbled into Sarah’s Jetta around 8:45. I figured arriving a little after nine wasn’t too lame…I hoped. We’d bundled up in our ‘sexiest’ warm clothes, meaning not sexy at all. I’d pulled on some Uggs boots with my jeans, a cute long sleeved top and a beanie. I had a sweatshirt for when it got windy, and a blanket just in case. It was always way colder on the beach than you expect. The girls were similarly dressed, minus the hat…my girls were always more concerned with how their hair looked than staying warm.

  Personally, I didn’t care and besides, my hair seemed to flow everywhere anyway so the beanie at least gave it a little direction. Sam, of course, the vainest of us all, didn’t want a single dainty curl in her little pixie cut askew, so she scorned all hats. I used to joke to Sarah that it was because when she wore a beanie, she looked bald…but I prayed Sam never knew I’d said that. That girl, plus retaliation, equaled no go. You didn’t step on Sam’s toes.

  Arriving at the lookout above the beach, we searched for parking and actually found a pretty prime spot. It was super close to one of the paths down to the beach and we all hopped out to begin the descent. Having grown up here, or 15 minutes from here, we’d been to Santa Cruz and beached it more times than we could remember. We were locals, if you will, and we knew the beaches inside out. This one was popular because while it was well known, it wasn’t the touristy kind of spot like other areas. If people were here, we were from here, or it was the University kids living it up.