Reading Tara (Growing Up Ashton Book 1)

by Kathryn Hewitt

  It was strange. Like Beth had said, I’d gone on dates before and never felt nervous, always been confident. What had changed? Was this trepidation due to my new home life? Had I lost my self-assuredness when Dad had left? Or was this really just about Calen and how he made me feel? I couldn’t deny that I had never really felt this way before. Shaking my head at my reflection, I commanded myself to be strong and then headed downstairs. It was almost 7. Will had left a little while earlier, having come to my room and begged to borrow my car. I relented because he seemed desperate and I still felt a little guilty about the whole laundry thing. Plus, Calen was picking me up.

  ꧁14꧂

  At 2 minutes to 7, I heard a knock at the door. I tried to slow my steps, hoping not to look too eager. When I opened the door, there stood Calen. He never ceased to take my breath away. Wow. He was wearing jeans, and for the love of all things Holy, did they look good. He was also wearing a dark grey button up shirt that had tiny vertical light grey stripes. It fit him beautifully. I detected a slightly stressed look on his face as I’d opened the door, but when he saw that it was me, I was rewarded with that smile that made me a little weak in the knees. Then his glance darted behind me for a second. What was he looking for?

  Oh….

  It slowly dawned on me. Will. I guess he wanted to say hi to his buddy. And yet, he continued to stand outside, not daring to come in. Maybe that was because I’d forgotten my manners and hadn’t invited him in to do so? I’d also forgotten how to talk and how not to stare.

  “Hi.” He kept smiling.

  “Hi,” I replied, flushing a little. “Would you like to come in?”

  “No.” He answered quickly. Hmmm. “Actually, why don’t we go, I’m sure you’re hungry.”

  “Sorry, Will isn’t here if you’d wanted to say hi.” I figured that I should be up front with him. He seemed to relax almost imperceptibly. He reached for my hand, clasping it in his. Considering my hand was so much smaller, it still managed to feel like a perfect fit.

  Calen led me to his car, opening my door for me. Once settled in, I tried to think of something funny but cool to say. I drew a blank. Calen started the car, glanced at me, and then pulled away from my house. It was quiet for a bit, but I couldn’t figure out if I was being awkward or not.

  Finally, I leaned forward and turned on some music. Music always relaxed me. He had the radio tuned to a station that was playing Johnny Cash and I smiled without meaning to. I definitely approved. He shot a glance at me.

  “You really should smile more,” he said. This seemed like a compliment, but it struck a sadness in me.

  “Too bad you didn’t move here last year. You’d have been sick of my goofy grin,” I replied softly. Then I mentally hit myself in the forehead. What was I doing? Not appropriate material, Tara.

  “I doubt that,” he replied, just as quietly.

  “So where did you move from?” I wanted to change the subject and I still didn’t know that much about him.

  “I used to live in Oregon. We came here because there were similar attitudes, but slightly better weather. You’ve still got the rain but it’s counter balanced by the California sunshine.”

  “We?”

  “Yeah, I live with my Grandfather.” Oh. “Yeah,” he continued, “My parents died.” Maybe I needed to get my head out of my ass and notice that other people had stories too.

  “I’m sorry. That must be hard.” He sort of shrugged.

  “Yeah, in the abstract. And, you know, it kind of sucks to have to tell people that your parents are dead, but they’ve been gone for a long time. It’s just been my Grandfather and me for almost as long as I can remember.” I felt like a real asshole.

  “Well, I guess it’s lucky you have him.”

  “Yes. I have been lucky.” His tone wasn’t as light as his words would have indicated, but I figured that this wasn’t an easy topic for him to discuss. “Your dad, did he die?” he asked. I guessed he’d assumed he had. I was a little surprised that Will had never told him.

  I let out a harsh laugh and then explained, “No, Dad’s not dead. Just took off on us a little bit back.” How long had it been now? Almost six months. Wow.

  “Oh. I’m sorry to have asked. Will never said anything and I guess I just made an assumption.” We did kind of act like Dad was dead, so I couldn’t blame him.

  “It’s fine. It’s not a secret. Dad checked out, Mom crawled inside herself, and I am left holding the bag.” God, I sounded so bitter. “Sorry. It’s not that bad. And who am I to complain?” He looked at me, a slightly pained look on his face. Weren’t we just starting out like a big ball of sunshine? “Where are we going?” Subject change. Again.

  He cut me a sidelong glance. It seemed like he was deciding what to say. I found this endearing because it was sort of reassuring that I wasn’t the only nervous or insecure person in this situation.

  “Well….” he kind of trailed off. Where was this going? “I will provide you with two options. The first option is to meet up with some friends at the pizza place for a group thing.” Damn. Then he continued, “The second is to go to the Italian place up the highway for a not so group thing. The choice is yours.”

  He was letting me set the rules. Go me. I Knew what I wanted. Was he allowing himself to be vulnerable? What if I chose, ‘Group’? I had the feeling that he would be respectful and take it in stride. That’s the kind of guy he was.

  But I wanted ‘Date’.

  “So you’re letting me choose? Surely you have an opinion.” His mouth turned up slightly at the teasing tone of my voice.

  “A gentleman always lets a lady choose.” Swoon! “Especially a Princess…” His smile deepened. I quietly cringed. Stupid Zach.

  “Stupid Zach,” I repeated aloud. Oops. Now Calen was fully grinning. “I’ll tell you what,” I rushed on. “I will choose our adventure, but you owe me something in return. A reward for doing all of the heavy lifting.” His eyes squinted a little. Then he froze me when his glittering eyes met mine.

  “That sounds like a decent deal. But I’m on pins and needles. What have you decided? Hopefully not the pizza place since we passed it 5 minutes ago.” I had noticed, but I was still having fun teasing him.

  “Well…..I Do like pizza. But if we’re doing the restaurant, I can make it work. I have a soft spot for eggplant parmesan.” He didn’t take his eyes off the road, but I saw them crinkle a little as he began to smile. God, he was really gorgeous. His profile was enough to make you decide that you needed to take up sketching. I leaned back in the divine leather seat and realized that I’d already had more fun tonight than I’d had in a long time.

  “Why so quiet?” He asked. There had been a stretch of silence between us, but it hadn’t been uncomfortable. More like companionable.

  “I’m shy,” I replied. He laughed.

  “Now that, I know you’re not.”

  “I am!” He kept chuckling.

  “I’ve never met a shy girl who can wink at a boy and flip off her brother in a period of five seconds.” Oh. He remembered that, huh? I felt a little proud.

  “I am demure and a lady. I would never flip someone off.” I smiled teasingly at him. He laughed again. I guess I was amusing.

  “Yes, you are a lady. Demure, I am not so convinced.” I liked this Calen. He was much more open than he usually was with the guys. Granted, I don’t think my brother let anyone get a word in edgewise. Plus, this flirty side of Calen wasn’t exactly applicable to guy time.

  “So, Calen.” We were pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant. I was so glad that I’d worn Beth’s outfit.

  “So, Tara.” If he wasn’t so adorable, I might get irritated. Instead I found myself increasingly attracted to him and this new side I’d never seen. But, I pretended to give him a chastising look. It only made him laugh again. Suddenly I couldn’t even remember what I was going to say.

  He parked and got out of the car. As I collected my purse and jacket, my door opened and…he offe
red me his hand. I was speechless. I played it off surprisingly well, grasping it and allowing him to gently pull me out, meeting his eyes. There was a slight challenge in them, one which I returned in kind. Not a hostile challenge, more like a sexy one. I giggled silently in my own head.

  I was really proud of myself. I hadn’t said anything too moronic and I’d managed to reach down deep and retrieve my ability to banter. Maybe it had only taken the right person to inspire me. I immediately chastised myself. ‘The Right Person’? I was letting this whole situation run away from me. I actually shook my head a little, like it was an etch-a-sketch and I needed to clear it. Embarrassing.

  I suddenly became aware that Calen was watching me. Shit.

  His eyebrows rose slightly, but then he offered me his hand again and lightly guided me into the restaurant. Who was this guy? How did he have such impeccable manners? I couldn’t deny the fact that it affected me. Hard.

  He walked up to the maitre d', spoke briefly with him, and then returned to me. After a few minutes, the older gentleman called, “Calen Havenfield?” I realized in that moment that I hadn’t known Calen’s last name. He knew mine because he knew Will. I suddenly felt like I was being thrown into a Jane Austen novel. Ms. Ashton and Mr. Havenfield. I laughed a little. The maitre d' cast me a disapproving look, but Calen just looked amused. I was glad I hadn’t offended him with whatever I’d inadvertently done.

  Guiding us to our table, I noticed we’d been placed in a corner, next to a large window. Past the hillside, I could see the sparkle of the ocean. This was seriously too much.

  “You look really nice, Tara.” Calen commented, after we were situated at the table. He always seemed to know the right thing to say. And Yay for Me!

  “I couldn’t decide what to wear so I put this outfit on…but I changed at the last minute because I remembered you’d said we were having pizza,” I blurted out. “Then I said what the hell and changed back.” Instantly, shame washed over me. My cheeks flamed.

  “You are really adorable.” That was all he’d say.

  I was? I kept pinching myself on my upper arm, right above where it met my elbow. It was a sensitive and somewhat fleshy spot, so it seemed like it might force me to wake up.

  “What are you doing?” Calen looked at me skeptically.

  “I had an itch.” Shit. He saw that.

  “So Calen…” I tried again. I still couldn’t remember what I was going to ask him, but I figured it was a good diversion.

  “Yes, Tara?” His face was impassive.

  “Why doesn’t my brother want me talking to you?” That was SO not what I was planning to ask. Ok, Linda Blair, Get the Eff Out.

  I think I surprised him. Part of his casualness retreated, but then his face regained its impassiveness. Then he said, “I assume it’s a simple case of an overprotective brother.” Nope.

  “Doubtful,” I retorted.

  “Well then I don’t know. I hadn’t actually been aware that he’d vocalized an opinion on the matter.” Damn. Now I had just told him that either I’d been asking about Calen or my brother had sensed something between the two of us. Blech.

  “Oh, he hasn’t.” My forced casualness sounded false. Fix it, woman! “He had only told me that he had a new friend who all of the ladies were drooling over.” Ok. Hmm. I had to keep working on this.

  Calen just looked at me.

  “You’re right. He’s always been overprotective,” I rushed on. Calen’s eyes narrowed slightly. “So, I exposed my own little secret about Italian food preferences, what will you be having?” Smooth. Really NOT smooth. Calen tried not to laugh. I felt like how amused Calen seemed should annoy me, but it really just made me like him more. Please, let him like me too.

  “I have to confess. It’s spaghetti and meatballs every time.” He feigned chagrin. I tried to stifle my giggle.

  The waiter arrived, took our order and quickly departed.

  “Unfortunately, we’re not old enough to order wine,” Calen mused. I almost wondered if he was contemplating giving it a try.

  “That’s fine. You saw what happened when I had one beer. I shot a cap into my shirt and nearly plunged down a flight of stairs. I suspect the latter would have hurt a bit.”

  Calen’s expression suddenly got serious. I guess I shouldn’t have brought that up.

  “That was not your fault,” he said tightly. Then he seemed to regain his composure. “Well. The beer cap thing, also not your fault but it made my night.” He smiled and I proceeded to blush.

  “It was an accident!” I insisted.

  “Uh huh.” How coordinated did these boys think I was? I could never have pulled that off if I’d tried.

  “Moving on….” Another subject change was in order. “So I guess Will had a date last Sunday. He refused to discuss it, just ordered me to finish his laundry…”

  “Ahh yes. The donut deal.” I’d forgotten Calen must have been at brunch.

  “Yeah, I felt like a real jerk because I fell back asleep after I’d agreed to handle his laundry. When he brought home my donut and I hadn’t held up my end of the bargain, he looked like he was going to kill someone.” I still kind of felt bad. This must have been an important date if he was so high strung. “I’d normally do Will’s laundry for him anyway, but the fact that I made a deal with him and then didn’t hold up my end kind of made me feel crappy.”

  “I’m sure you were just tired. This doesn’t strike me as that big of an offense.”

  “That’s what I thought. But Will was not pleased.” Calen’s eyes started to narrow again.

  “It turned out just fine though,” I plowed ahead. “I finished it all up for him and he must have had boxers to wear since he went on his date.” I ended with a weak grin.

  Right then, our food showed up. I had to hand it to Calen. His meatballs looked great. I stifled a laugh. Thankfully I hadn’t said that aloud. It would not have come out how I’d planned it to.

  Thanking the waiter, Calen returned his attention to me. “I hadn’t planned on telling you, but I feel slightly irritated that Will gave you such a guilt trip. When he showed up at brunch he offhandedly mentioned that he had promised to get you a donut. By the time brunch was through, he’d clearly forgotten. Right before we left, I asked the waitress for a donut to go. When she brought it back, I handed it to Will. He laughed and thanked me.”

  Calen got me the donut? And Will was such a dick about it? I was so going to kick his ass.

  At the moment, though, all I could do was smirk. Then I thanked Calen and reassured him that I knew my brother well enough and his trademark actions rarely fazed me anymore. Then I felt guilty and tried to reassure Calen that Will was a good friend and tried to persuade him not to judge him too harshly. Calen just nodded. Yikes, I really needed to relax.

  Eventually, our conversation turned casual and easy. We cracked jokes, I occasionally probed Calen for a little more information about himself, and he did the same. I felt like we were actually getting to know each other. Maybe everything before had been animalistic attraction, but excitingly, we seemed to actually mesh well together. This was the best date Ever. Sarah was SO getting a call tonight.

  When we were finished with our meals, he asked me what exactly I had in mind for repayment. I’d forgotten the deal I’d made earlier.

  “I want desert.” I smiled a little shyly. Was it too forward to demand desert? My sweet tooth screamed “NO” in my mind.

  “I’m not sure if that’s a relief or a let down,” he replied.

  “Me neither,” I replied, wondering if I really understood what he was getting at. “I am thinking tiramisu.” This time, my smile wasn’t shy at all. He laughed his gorgeous rumble of a laugh. I almost pinched myself again. He quickly flagged down the waiter and ordered my desert.

  I devoured most of it, but forced him to have some. It was So good. Then I mused aloud that I’d have to run a bit more tomorrow to account for it. He just shook his head. Then he looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t
run tomorrow. You deserve to revel in your tiramisu.” I didn’t contradict him, but I knew my body better than he did. Rewards generally required sacrifices. Granted, my figure wasn’t why I ran, but it didn’t hurt.

  The check came and I reached for my purse. He then completely ignored me while he paid for it. I just sat there trying to catch his eye, but he refused to let me. I felt weird letting him pay. He’d offered pizza, I’d chosen a nice Italian restaurant. But no matter what I did, he wouldn’t acknowledge me until the bill was taken care of and gone.

  He stood up, then leaned down next to me, offering his hand. He was so freaking tall…so freaking Hot. I forced myself to focus. He walked with me out of the restaurant, opening my car door for me, again. Had I died and woken up deserving this?

  Once in the car, I proceeded to jabber on about how delicious my food was. Finally, I remembered what I’d wanted to talk to him about. I looked at him and jabbed him with my elbow. He grunted softly, I suspected more for effect than anything.

  “What? We’re already in an abusive relationship?” He asked innocently. All I heard was ‘relationship.’ Ignoring my mental tangent, I glared at him. “How could you pay and not at least let me give you some money?” I really felt bad about it.

  “I asked you to come to dinner with me. It’s fine.” He sounded calm.

  “But you said you’d buy me a slice. I picked a much more expensive place and I take responsibility for that.” He still didn’t react. “I mean…obviously the desert was on you,” I heard his low chuckle, “but you should let me give you some money for the check!”