Jude’s Song

by Mary Crawford

  I gesture around to the stage and all the surrounding lights. “How did you get caught up in all of this?”

  “Before Aidan left America’s Next Star, he and I were friends. He was like a big brother crossed with a father figure. He did all he could do to protect me. A few years ago, he came to my hometown to perform and I went to see him. When he saw me in the audience, he approached me during the intermission and asked me if I would sing a song we’d performed on television back in the day. He pulled me on stage and we picked up as if nothing had changed.”

  “I bet that felt odd,” I remark.

  “It did, because I was a kid when I last sang with him. On the other hand, it felt a bit like a great big family reunion. After that, I sang background vocals on his studio albums and performed at his family events. As soon as I turned eighteen, he began hiring me for real gigs in public. I owe a lot to Aidan and Tara. Without them, my teenage years would’ve been much more difficult. Aidan’s quiet faith in me — even when my career was virtually nonexistent — made all the difference in the world.”

  “It sounds like Aidan has done nothing but good things for your career. Why does your mom have such a beef with him?”

  Tasha sighs. “Because Aidan allows me to be who I am and I’m successful almost in spite of my mom — in ways I never was when my mom was ‘in charge’ of my career. I think it is just that simple. I’m happy and popular and she hasn’t chosen every step of my path.”

  I walk behind the ladder and hug her from behind as I kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry she can’t just be happy that you’re doing well and leave you alone to do your job. How can I help?”

  Tasha tilts her head back to kiss me on the chin, then stands up to grab her guitar. “Well, it’s Jerome’s birthday today, so Aidan ordered in some lunch. We should be starting our usual jam session any time now. I’d like you to sing with me.”

  I thought maybe she wanted me to talk to her mom, Aidan, or maybe even Logan. I didn’t expect her to ask me to join the jam session. I know I’ve been promising to do it eventually, but I didn’t think today would be the day.

  I swallow hard before I answer. “Sure, let me grab my guitar. What should we sing?”

  Tasha’s eyes light up with fire as she says, “I know this isn’t usually your thing, but how do you feel about John Lennon? I feel like being a bit rebellious today. I need to sing a protest song or two today just to keep my sanity.”

  I place my arm around her waist and grab her guitar. “I love John Lennon, but are you sure it wouldn’t be better to write one given the mood you’re in?”

  Tasha laughs. “You’re right. I do my best song writing when I’m ticked off at my mom. Unfortunately, today I have a duty to be a real live, social human being, so let’s go jam and sing one of the greatest songs ever written.”

  I’ve been playing guitar with some guys on the bus to pass the time — but this is the first time I’ve ever done a full-on performance with Tasha in front of anybody except Aidan. My hands are shaky and more than a little sweaty as Tasha and I take our places in the makeshift band.

  When Aidan sees me join them, he grins from ear to ear and gives me a thumbs up. “It’s great to see you, Jude. We always give our new guests their choice of place in the lineup. Where would you like to sing?”

  If I was nervous before, now my heart rate is through the roof. Even after all the time that I’ve been working for Aidan O’Brien, it still feels odd that he considers me as another musician. Tasha squeezes my thigh as she whispers, “You’re doing okay. We all felt this way our first time up.”

  I clear my throat. “Lucky for me, I brought a partner who sings like an angel. So, I’d like to go first. We’d like to be able to enjoy the rest of the jam.” Turning toward Tasha, I ask, “Ready?”

  “Let’s do this, Secret Music Man. They deserve to know what Aidan and I know,” Tasha answers with a smile as we begin to play the introduction to John Lennon’s Imagine.

  When Aidan hears this, his eyebrows raise. “Not what I expected from you — but great song choice.” He makes himself more comfortable at the piano bench and starts to play along.

  Jerome, the bass player grins widely as he strums and taps his foot. “I agree. We tend to get stuck in our own style of music, but this stuff rocks.”

  As more musicians join the song, it becomes less about me and more about the love of the music and I relax. By the time we reach the chorus, I find it’s easier to take a full breath and focus on harmonizing with Tasha. She smiles over at me as we dig into a guitar riff like we do when we’re writing together.

  This. This is what music is supposed to be like — fun, spontaneous and joyful. If this is what Aidan and Tasha feel like every time they are on stage, I understand why it’s so addictive.

  We end the song and silence breaks out in the room. My heart drops. Did I misread everything? Was it as awful as I built it up to be in my head?

  Jerome walks over to a box and pulls out a custom-made Aidan O’Brien guitar pick. He stands in front of me for a moment just watching me before he says, “Brother, I don’t know where in the world you’ve been hiding or why you haven’t shown up before — but welcome to the club. That’s some of the best pickin’ and croonin’ I’ve heard in a while.” He looks over his shoulder at Aidan as he asks, “Why are you wasting your time auditioning those spoiled brats the record labels keep sending over when you got this sittin’ under your nose?”

  “Jerome, take it easy. I know it’s your birthday and everything, but this is Jude’s first time in the jam session. Can we let him hang around a while before you start signing him to multi-year contracts?”

  “Sorry Boss, I’m pointin’ out the obvious here. This kid is going places, and I don’t want him to get away.”

  It’s totally surreal to have two talented musicians talk about me and dissect my talent right in front of me. I know Tasha has been telling me all along that something like this could happen. Still, I was afraid to believe it might be possible.

  Stella, one of the background singers gives me a slow once over like my abuela does before mass. “Honey, I’ve been around this business for a long time — more years than I care to admit. Let me tell you, you’re good. Real good. You and your girl — that’s something special too. You guys would make a great duet team.”

  Stella is one of the most respected people on our tour. She’s spent a career singing backup with some of the best acts in the business from country music to rock-’n’-roll and everything in between. I fight back my emotions as I struggle to process her words. As often happens when I am emotional or nervous, I fall back on to the language I grew up with as I respond, “Muchas gracias por tus lindas palabras. Es muy amable de tu parte.” I blush as I realize what I’ve just said and I start to translate, “Sorry, this is all a little overwhelming. I meant to say, ‘Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me’.”

  Stella chuckles. “Don’t you worry about a thing. Politeness in any language is a good thing.” Stella picks up a microphone and glances down at my guitar. “I’m about to sing some Dolly Parton, I would love it if you would accompany me.”

  “I’d be honored,” I respond with a smile. With sudden clarity, I realize I mean it. This experience has been all I ever dreamed it could be and more.

  Tasha leans over and whispers in my ear, “I told you that you’d kill it — but it went better than even I could’ve hoped.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  TASHA

  THE CROWD IN NEBRASKA IS absolutely electrifying. As we’ve gotten into the swing of the tour, the scary cloud hanging over my head seems to have dissipated. The warm-up band is kicking it and the whole crowd is alive with excitement.

  I’m putting some last-minute touches on my makeup and hair while Jude is replacing a broken tuning peg on my favorite guitar when Aidan knocks on the door frame.

  I put my mascara wand down when I glimpse Aidan’s expression in the mirror. He clears his throat as he asks, “Ca
n I talk to you guys for a minute?”

  I take a seat on the edge of the counter. “Sure. It looks like it’s going to be a great show tonight.”

  Aidan grimaces. “That’s what I came to talk to you about. Izzy had an unfortunate encounter with a door and some fans. Tara’s taking her to the hospital to have her hand checked out, but it means I’m down a guitar player. Would you guys mind filling in tonight?”

  “You’re kidding, right?” Jude asks with a slack jaw.

  “I wish I was. You know our play list, right?” Aidan asks, looking directly at Jude.

  “Like the back of my hand — but that doesn’t mean you want me on stage.”

  “Actually, it means I need you. I don’t even have to put a spotlight on you, you can play in your own corner.”

  I walk over to Jude and give him a hug as I assure him, “I know this isn’t what we planned, but you’re totally ready for this.”

  “How do you know I’m ready?” Jude asks, searching my face. “I’ve only been playing with you guys for a few weeks.”

  “True, but you’ve been singing with me for much longer than that, and on your own for years. I know you’re ready. Aidan and I will be right there; we won’t let you crash and burn.” I look over at Adrian. “I know a lot of our staging calls for me not to have my instrument, but can I keep my guitar on me and play with Jude?”

  Aidan nods as he responds, “Absolutely. This tour is all about breaking the rules and doing things our way. If tonight calls for some spontaneity, so be it. Do whatever works for you guys.”

  I grip Jude’s forearms and look directly in his face. “I believe in you. Aidan believes in you. Do you believe enough in yourself to do this?”

  Jude sighs. “Fine. I’m in — but don’t let me think about this for too long or I’ll completely freak myself out.”

  I’m so excited I can barely contain myself. This is the kind of break Jude’s needed for a long time. He just doesn’t know it. Sometimes, fate hands you the kick in the pants you need whether or not you want it.

  After Aidan leaves, Jude slumps in my arms and laments, “I don’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t even have anything to wear on stage. What the hell possessed me to say yes?”

  I can almost read the battle brewing inside him through his expressive eyes. In his brown eye, I can see his budding excitement. It practically glows with anticipation. In contrast, his blue eye is clouded with worry and angst.

  I study my handsome boyfriend with appreciative eyes. “I don’t know. You look fine to me. The girls will go wild when they see you. I’m glad I have dibs on you.”

  Jude turns around and looks in the mirror. “Although I appreciate the compliment, I think you’re full of crap. There’s nothing special about me. I’m wearing a flannel shirt and a beat-up straw hat. Nobody’s going to put me on the cover of Country Music Daily looking like this.”

  “Hmm, I think I may have to disagree with you there. You look handsome enough to be put on the cover of any magazine, country music or not. Now, make sure you have a bottle of water with you out on stage. It’s hot work.”

  It’s unfolding a lot like I thought it would go. At first, Jude is playing mostly in the background. As he becomes more comfortable on stage, he gravitates toward me — which means he’s in the spotlight. Of course, the crowd takes notice because he’s an incredibly gifted guitar player, and they respond accordingly.

  During a set change, Aidan comes over and announces, “I’m having some trouble with my cochlear implant. Can you guys cover for me while I see if changing the batteries solves the problem?”

  Jude looks like a deer paralyzed by oncoming headlights, but finally he swallows hard and responds, “Sure. Anything in particular you want us to sing?”

  Aidan’s concentrating on reading Jude’s lips and eventually gives up in the darkened backstage environment. “Do whatever keeps the show going. I trust you,” he says after Logan comes over to sign Jude’s question.

  Finally, I shoo Aidan out the door. “Go take care of whatever’s going on, we’ll sort out the rest.”

  I look over at Jude as I ask, “Isn't it fun living life on the edge and being adventurous?”

  As Stella takes a moment to sing a Tanya Tucker song to give us a break, it’s hard not to be a little spooked by how far Jude and I have come in just a few months. If I didn’t know this was his first time on stage, there’s no way I’d be able to tell. We had only a few moments to put together a quick play list, so we’re sticking to songs we’ve been doing for a while. Jude is absolutely slaying Wichita Lineman and the crowd’s going wild for him. When I first introduced him, the crowd was largely silent because they weren’t sure what to make of the newcomer. Now they’re actually chanting his name and asking for an encore. I’m not sure if this is making it easier or harder for Jude to continue, but at least he doesn’t look like he’s facing a guillotine anymore — like he did when we first started working together all those months ago.

  Jude shocks me and starts playing a new Hunter Hayes song we've recently added to our repertoire. At my look of surprise, he winks and shrugs. No one in the audience will ever know what a huge milestone this is. To me, it means the world. For the first time, Jude is moving forward toward his dream without a huge shove from me. During a guitar riff, he notices I’m fighting back tears. He takes special care to catch my eye before he mouths the words, “Thank you for this.”

  Reaching the chorus of the bluesy, country duet, I realize how much his quiet fight against his own fears has impacted my life too. Jude Hernandez is quiet, unassuming and shy, but he’s also one of the most talented, driven people I’ve ever met. I’m so happy his dreams are coming true. I wish I could sort out my own life, too.

  As we step off stage, Aidan makes a point to come over and speak to us. “For a last-minute, substitution act, you guys absolutely killed it. Heck, forget what I said. You guys were flat-out amazing. Period. I don’t suppose there’s any chance I could hire you guys to do that again. You're chemistry goes clear to the back row.”

  Jude regards Aidan with skepticism as he asks, “Did you really have a problem with your implants or did you make it up to have an excuse to push me out on stage?”

  Rather than be offended, Aidan laughs out loud. “I think you’ve been listening to too many urban legends about me. I’m resourceful, but I wouldn’t go quite that far. It turns out I had a loose wire in the charger. Fortunately, my wife had the foresight to order me a backup pair of implants after the last time I won an award from Billboard and my music went crazy on the charts.”

  “How’s Izzy’s hand?” I ask.

  “It looks like there’s some soft tissue damage but nothing broken. She’ll have to wear a splint for a couple weeks. If it doesn’t get better, they want her to go in for follow-up x-rays because sometimes these injuries don’t show up.”

  “It’s good that it’s nothing terribly serious,” Jude replies.

  “Yeah, now, are you ready to go meet your new adoring fans?” Aidan asks Jude. “A word to the wise, don’t sign anything you don’t want your grandma to see on Twitter. Logan and his men will collect any phone numbers for you and dispose of them properly.”

  “Do I have to take phone numbers?” Jude asks with a grimace. “I guess I never thought about what would happen after I made it on stage.”

  I slide my hand down Jude’s jaw. “No, you don’t have to take the phone numbers, but trust me, it makes it go a lot faster. I don’t mind if you do because I know it’s part of the game.”

  “Do the fans know it’s part of the game?” Jude asks sharply as he turns to Logan. “Do you keep a record of these phone numbers and notes she gets directly from the fans? Could they be a clue to the text messages?”

  “Initially, we weren’t keeping them, but since the security issues have arisen around T, we have started keeping records of all the fan contact with her, no matter how small.” Logan’s expression is somber.

  Aidan regards us all and sa
ys, “Since the connection between Jude and Tasha is about as obvious as the one between Tara and me, maybe you should keep records of anything that comes in for Jude too.”

  Logan nods at Aidan and says, “Understood.”

  “Jude, I’ll assign Yasmin to you. I think it will be less obtrusive than one of my guys. Just let her know what your boundaries are.”

  Jude looks at me with a blank expression on his face. “Boundaries?”

  I clutch Jude’s hands as I clarify, “Relax and breathe. This is easy. Logan and the guys know I’m okay with fans shaking my hands and taking selfies, but if a fan tries to reach anything below my waist or grab my breasts, that’s off limits. I sign CDs, T-shirts and that kind of stuff, but I won’t sign skin.”

  Jude pales a little. “¡Dios!, this just got a lot more real.” He addresses Logan as he pulls me closer to him. “Tasha’s boundaries sound reasonable. I’d like the same. If you don’t mind, I’m going to stick close to Tasha. I don’t think I’m ready to go out on my own yet.”

  Disregarding all the other people in the room, I give him a quick kiss. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got your back. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

  “That’s what I’m counting on. I thought getting on stage was the scary part. Now I’m beginning to reconsider,” Jude replies. He breaks away from the kiss and takes a large gulp of water.

  Jerome rolls his eyes. “If you two are done playing kissy-face, we’ve got fans to meet.”

  Jude and I are working our way through the VIP room when I see someone I’d hoped never to lay eyes on again. Jude practically trips over me when I stop dead in my tracks. “Logan, you need to go get Aidan,” I say under my breath, trying to keep my panic at bay.