“Why does Karadese care so much about what happens to me?”
Blay comes to a stop, turning so he looms directly in front of me and I have to force my shoulders to square and hold strong, instead of shrinking away like I have the overwhelming urge to do. Slightly tilting his head to the side, his eyes roam over my face, studying me as if trying to understand an anomaly.
Standing this close I can’t escape his gaze, his eyes are not merely amber-gold like I had assumed. No, at the centre edge, nearest the pupil, there are specks of white, almost like glitter has blown into caramel to create the most extraordinary, captivating eyes.
He moves closer, so close that I’m trapped by his gaze, mesmerised by his very presence, unable to pull away until his full pink lips part and his words break through the spell.
“I honestly don’t know, but I intend to find out.”
Chapter Ten
“You will never do that again, do you understand me?” Karadese scolds, her face twisted into a scowl, showing her real age while her tone hints at how worried she truly was.
“I’m sorry,” I say for the hundredth time since Blay delivered me to the meeting room where Karadese and Araton were still ordering guards to continue the search for me.
After enduring a twenty-minute lecture about how irresponsible it was to run away, to escape out of a window into the depths of the unknown water below and hide out in the unfamiliar wilderness, all while my mental state was clearly in question, I truly am sorry and getting quite sick of being yelled at.
“Mother, I think by now she understands,” Blay intercepts.
He has been painfully quiet since we entered the room and dismissed the guards, all who eyed me openly, trying to get a glance at the little human girl who had taken on a Zantronian and actually lived.
“As you’ve said, Rayna’s emotional state is unquestionably unstable. When I found her, she said she just needed to be alone to have time to comprehend everything that has happened. I can’t pretend to understand a human’s nature, but I do understand her desire for solitude.”
I don’t know why Blay is covering for me, acting like I wouldn’t have killed him if I had the chance to get away. I’m still waiting for him to turn me in, to expose my secrets, yet he’s taken me by surprise again and given my motives a reasonable excuse.
Karadese sighs, her shoulders heaving for dramatic effect. I can’t help but think she has taken my actions as a personal attack on her, why, I don’t understand yet.
Being the Queen, I highly doubt anyone has ever disobeyed her in such a public manner before and I bet from now on my movements will be heavily guarded. The idea leaves me feeling cold.
“Very well, now that the people are aware that Rayna is awake and is physically well enough to go off on adventures,” she shoots me an annoyed glance, “we will have to bring the ball forward.”
“To when?” Blay grunts, clearly as displeased as I am about this news.
“Two nights from today.”
“Wow, you certainly act quickly,” I mutter.
“You leave me with little choice, Rayna.” Karadese’s words are clipped, her red lips puckered as her narrowed wheat coloured eyes look at us each in turn.
“After such a forceful attack, our people need a celebration, a reason to feel confident that the Zantronians can’t beat us. Rayna is the best possible symbol of hope we have. If a mere human girl can fight off and escape them, then their chances of eventual victory are void.”
The real reason behind the formal ball is now apparent. I can’t believe I didn’t realise it before. This is why Karadese wants me here so desperately, not because she actually cares about me, but because of what I can be for her people. A symbol of hope. Someone to declare: ‘I’ve looked into the eyes of a monster and lived to talk about it.’
The stab of pain in my chest stops my breath. Once again I’m nothing more than a pawn in a game I’ve unwillingly been thrust into. I have a part to play and I will be expected to follow the rules.
Keeping my face neutral, I refuse to give away any indication of how deeply this knowledge has cut me. I may have only just tried to run away from them, but part of me, however small that part is, was hoping that these people cared, that Karadese actually cared about me and wanted me like my own mother should have.
Well, one thing is for sure, if Karadese wants a good little girl to do as she says then she’s got the wrong girl. Garvien learnt that the hard way, Karadese will be in for the same shock.
***
I have swapped one cage for another. That’s how it feels as I gaze around my bedroom, taking in the freshly mounted locks on the windows.
Okay, this might be a hell of a lot nicer cage, with a walk-in bathroom and an actual bed, and I’m pretty sure the people outside aren’t going to torture and eventually eat me, but still, I’m under constant watch and guard, unable to be free or do what I want. Isn’t that essentially the same thing?
I slept fitfully, waking at every sound, covered in sweat from nightmares which continue to haunt me. When the sun finally rose, I dragged myself to the bathroom, standing under the shower until my skin puckered and I couldn’t handle the heat any longer.
I pulled on Ellestra’s old clothes, thankful again for her being a similar size to me and now I sit, waiting for everyone else to wake up, for one of my newly appointed guards to escort me to wherever it is I’m told to go.
The bitterness burrowing inside me has a sharp edge, and it doesn’t take long for the building anger to affect my mood.
Instead of being pleasant when Ellestra knocks on my door, I’m downright rude.
“Well I can see that little trek in the forest did nothing for your attitude.” Her snarky tone manages to crack my insolence ever so slightly.
“Oh, so you’re always happy-go-lucky are you?” I match her tone, yet it is clear she can see me beginning to thaw.
“Me? Oh of course, don’t you know it’s written in the Princess’s handbook – we must always be in good spirits.”
“Sucks being you then.” I mean it as a joke but the shadow of sadness flickering across her face takes me off guard. Just as fast as it came, it vanishes, being replaced with a well-practiced smirk.
“Maybe so, but it certainly has its perks. Are you ready to experience some of them or are you planning on making another great escape, because if you are, then this time, please take me with you. God knows that I need an adventure.”
As Ellestra turns I grab her elbow, making her face me. However poised she is I can’t help but get the feeling that I have offended her somehow.
“Ellestra, I’m sorry if my running away upset you, it wasn’t anything personal, I just freaked out. Everything is so messed up and I needed to get away, to not feel so trapped by it all, to have some time to think, you know?”
She keeps her eyes pinned to the floor, the superior attitude draining away, leaving her looking sad and vulnerable.
“I get it, really I do.” Her eyes flicker to me, sadness pouring out of her, making me consumed with guilt. “Just don’t judge us too quickly okay? Give us a chance at least.”
My arms ache to wrap around her, to embrace her and drive away the hurt I’ve caused, but I don’t. I can’t make my arms move; I stand there frozen, only managing a slight nod of my head. I don’t miss the fleeting disappointment crossing her face before she turns, allowing me to trail behind her, not even bothering to ask where we are headed to.
After what feels like forever of walking along seemingly endless hallways and down several flights of stairs with two guards trailing behind us, I begin to wonder where she is taking me.
The richly luxurious décor runs throughout the entire castle as far as I can see. I would have thought being encased in stone would be daunting, almost suffocating. Instead, the impossibly high ceilings, unique craftsmanship and light streaming in from the full-length windows dotted along the way, feels like I’m living in a different century instead of a different planet.
Eventually though, I get tired of trailing along like a lamb and give in to my curiosity.
“So where exactly is it that you are taking me?”
Ellestra glances over her thin shoulder, flashing me a rueful smile.
“I think you need to let off some steam.”
“Okay, well do you want to define that a bit more or…”
“We’re here,” she interrupts.
Glancing around I see nothing more than another long hallway with a couple of solid wooden doors leading off on either side.
“Goodie, I always wanted to visit another endlessly boring hallway.” My sarcasm has Ellestra rolling her eyes.
“Humans are so impatient. It’s not one of your best traits, Rayna.” One of the guards snorts at her comment and I glare at him.
“Where is Zaneth today anyway? I prefer him.” The guard merely smiles, the indirect insult rolling off of him like oil off of water.
“Actually we are meeting him here.”
Ellestra walks forward, pushing open the door and stepping back for me to see the unexpected.
The room is huge of course, nothing surprising about that, but it’s what the room encases that has my mouth hanging agape.
From the archery corner with well-worn targets strategically placed at varying intervals and multiple bows and arrows to choose from, to the wall on the left adorned with wooden and steel swords, daggers and knives of different designs and straw-filled dummies which have seen better days, it’s obvious that this is the castles training room.
Even with all the sparkly weapons begging to be held calling out to me, any of them able to cause some real damage and just holding one would make me feel infinitely safer, still none of it attracts my attention quite like the scene unfolding in front of me.
In the centre of the room on a thin protective mat, Blay stands, his hands balled into fists in front of him, his broad shoulders bare, rippling as he takes a swing at Zaneth who ducks out of the way at the last possible moment.
They shuffle back and forth, seeming to take turns at producing an effective blow only to be outsmarted by each other. It’s like a weird dance, pointless and un-gratifying, yet intoxicating to watch.
Both men are just as skilled as the other and equally as fast. If Blay wasn’t shirtless I might have a chance to concentrate on their technique and gain some pointers, but as it is I’m barely able to drag my eyes away from his lean body and the glistening sweat dripping down his smooth back.
“Rayna, this is a surprise.”
I didn’t even notice Calasis sitting to the side, his cheeks flushed, his own shirtless body shimmering with sweat showing that I have only just missed his own workout.
A full blown smile, producing the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen, spreads across his cheeky face as he sees me so obviously checking him out and I quickly look away, embarrassed by my lack of discretion.
Blay and Zaneth stop their match, my heart stuttering when Blay faces me. My eyes are drawn like magnets to his solid chest which is hair free all the way down past the most sharply defined abdominal muscles I’ve ever seen, and I have to swallow forcefully to stop myself from drooling a puddle onto the floor.
He bends over, picking up a singlet tee from the ground and pulling it over his head, relinquishing me from his entrapment.
Heat floods my cheeks when his eyes lock onto mine, his gaze unwavering as I struggle to find words, any words, to say. Calasis stands and walks between us, unknowingly breaking our connection.
“So what are you doing here, My Lady?”
“Good question.” I keep my eyes averted from Calasis’s bare chest and on Ellestra who seems completely unaware of my internal struggle.
“Well you were interested in our training the other day and since you seem to like adventures so much I thought this would be a good idea.” She smiles sweetly at me, and I get the distinct feeling that she hopes to wear me out so I won’t have enough energy to escape again.
I look back at the mat again and then at the three guys who look like they could easily crush me with a single blow. My stomach clenches, panic rising at the thought of taking them on in a fight and I can’t be certain it’s the thought of getting hurt or actually being so close to one of the brothers while they are near naked, that is making my heart race uncontrollably. Probably the latter.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s such a great idea.”
I’m already stepping backwards when Calasis throws his arm across my shoulders gently leading me back towards the mat, his alluring laugh and full blown smile doing absolutely nothing to ease the butterflies crashing around in my stomach.
The lingering heat left over from his workout pours off of him, making my already flaming cheeks even brighter as I try to keep myself from brushing up against his shirtless body.
We walk past Blay who steps back, his smouldering eyes narrowed as he watches Calasis’s attempt to subdue me.
“Ellestra’s right. Training is a good way to let off steam and it’s important to know how to defend yourself if you’re in an unfavourable situation.”
I’ve already been in enough of those and I don’t ever want to be again. I guess it couldn’t hurt being prepared, and if the worst does happen then at least I might be able to have a chance of fighting my way out of it.
One look at Calasis’s face tells me that I’m not going to get out of this room until I concede, and since I’m already warming to the idea, I shrug him off, moving to the centre of the mat and standing in an aggressive position, hoping that I don’t look like an idiot in the process. Calasis beams, knowing he won me over with very little effort. He rolls his shoulders as he comes to stand opposite me, stretching out his already primed body.
I don’t know what the heck I’m going to do, I figure I’ll just wing it and hope for the best. Regardless, I refuse to show any of them that I’m uncertain of myself, so I mirror Calasis’s cocky attitude, letting arrogance leach into my tone.
“Alright then, show me how it’s done.”
I barely have time to flinch, Calasis moves so fast, kicking his leg around and hitting the back of my knees, sending me sprawling onto the floor.
So much for acting confident and in control.
Ellestra’s obnoxious laughter rings in my ears and I shoot her an annoyed glance as I roll over, ignoring Calasis’s outstretched hand.
If he wants to fight dirty I’m fine with that, I’ve watched enough action movies to know a thing or two about street fighting. There’s no way in hell that I’m going to let an egotistical Prince knock me on my arse again.
Blay stands beside the mat, his lean body coiled ready to intercept and rescue me if I need it. I refuse to let him, I don’t want his help nor do I need it.
Smiling up at Calasis, I finally give in and reach for his hand in feigned defeat, waiting until he is unprepared and then I act, bringing my leg up to kick him with all my power straight into his stomach while simultaneously yanking him down next to me onto the mat. Jumping up I stand above him, my fists raised ready to react if he even attempts to touch me.
The fight, as innocent as it is, awakens something uncontrollable within me. His arrogance ignites fury deep inside until anger pricks at my skin, pumping my heart, fuelling my fear of entrapment and awakening the cursed bracelet’s hold over me until all I can think about is ending him.
It happens so fast, all consuming. A desire to fight to the death that is so completely unlike me yet coats my skin and demands to be heard, to be set free to accomplish terrible things that I never would without this scorching adrenaline poisoning my bloodstream, and yet it is me, it’s part of me now, taking over little by little until all that’s left of the real me is huddling in a tiny corner of my mind, no longer in control of my actions.
I need to take him out, to rid this world of his egoti
sm. The desire to finish him flows through my body, a yearning so strong I can’t deny it, nor do I try.
Images of smashing my heel through his skull flash through my mind and I react automatically, letting the pull of hate control me, drawing my leg back, every muscle aching to deliver the fatal blow.
Calasis’s winded laughter smashes through the hold over my mind like a bucket of ice water being thrown over my naked body. I jerk back, the realisation of what I was about to do hitting me hard. That tiny part of me emerging from its corner, shaking and scared, yet brought back to life by the simplest of actions.
“Okay, okay, I surrender.” Calasis sits up much too quickly, proving he isn’t as hurt as he made me believe. “You got me good, I forfeit to you, My Lady.”
An uncontrollable shudder twitches through my body and suddenly I’m tired, so tired. I let my arms drop beside me, pure willpower the only reason I’m not comatose on the floor.
Calasis stands up, his stocky body bowing before me in a show of defeat, having no idea how close he came to being seriously injured and I force out empty laughter, trying to hold myself together, all the while I’m dying inside.
What is happening to me? This is the third time I’ve wilfully tried to hurt one of them, but it’s the first time that I have felt so out of control with it, like someone or something else was controlling me.
The emotions that had raged through me were not my own. I don’t feel that kind of hate, that anger. Sure I hate the Zantronians with an unadulterated passion yet when I think of them I’m also plagued with sadness and fear for all that has been lost.
No the anger that consumed me, willed me to take Calasis’s life, was not my own. It is fuelled by something foreign; something governed by pure evil, owned by pure evil, intent on turning me into something evil too.
I close my eyes, drawing in a few deep breaths, trying to conceal the fear which I can feel distorting my face. The bracelet is getting stronger, no longer only affecting my body, it’s now threading tendrils of control over my mind.
Paladin Rising (The Paladin's Curse Book 1) Page 11
