He didn’t want to hear this; didn’t want to think he’d been responsible for hurting her so badly. ‘Gem, I—’
She raised a protesting hand, blue eyes flashing. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore.’ Her tone turned dismissive. ‘I know now that what we had was just infatuation. We were kids, too young to be so serious. I thought my heart was broken but of course it wasn’t.’ The look she fired at him dared him to contradict her. ‘You and I ... it wouldn’t have worked.’
Bristling silently at her flippant dismissal of their relationship, somehow he held his tongue, allowing her to continue.
‘Then Mum and Dad died. It was a car crash.’
A chill rippled along his spine. He hadn’t ever met Gem’s parents, they’d lived in the country, but he knew the torture of losing a mother. The pain never left.
She gazed beyond him, her eyes shadowed in grief. ‘Mum died instantly. Dad had a massive heart attack. He lived a few days but ... ’ In the light from the flickering candle two tears glittered on her cheek before she pushed them away.
The need to take her in his arms was almost overwhelming but, wary of rejection, he settled for a hand over hers on the table. ‘I had no idea.’
‘How could you have? You’d left.’ She withdrew her fingers and gulped down a mouthful of Chianti.
‘I asked you to come with me. You refused.’
‘Of course I did. That wasn’t what I’d planned for my life. I grew up in a close, loving family. I needed stability. Security. You knew my feelings about risk-taking, and that’s exactly what you were getting involved in, traipsing off to Perth for some airy-fairy scheme your father dreamed up.’ Angry red stains flared her cheeks.
‘It wasn’t like I was disappearing forever,’ he protested. ‘I know you threatened not to wait for me, but I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it.’
‘And I didn’t think you’d actually leave.’ Silence reigned for several pounding heartbeats. ‘I guess neither of us knew each other as well as we thought we did.’
He’d been prepared to endure her taunts in the interests of keeping the peace, but only to a certain point, a point that had now been reached. ‘Yeah, well, I can’t believe you married that jerk.’
‘Sometimes I can’t either.’ Was that regret in her voice?
‘So why did you?’
‘You have no concept of what I went through. My world had dropped out from under me. I wasn’t eating and got sick. I was ... ’
She stopped, flicked him a too-hard-to-read look. ‘Exams were coming up and I was a mess. Roger was my tutor, remember? I had to tell him about everything. He took me under his wing, helped organise the funerals, coached me through the exams. I didn’t have the strength for any of it. It was so much easier to let him take charge.’
‘And then what?’ he fired at her.
She downed the rest of her glass. ‘One thing led to another and ... we got married a couple of months later.’
Jamie shifted in his chair, attempting to digest it all, awareness growing that there was something she obviously didn’t know.
‘I went back for you, Gem.’
***
‘You what?’ Gemma’s heart stopped mid-beat.
‘Two weeks before Christmas I came back to Sydney. For you.’
The fierce internal quivering as her heart started up again set it slamming against her ribcage. Her mind reeled. ‘Wha ... why?’
‘I missed you.’ He spoke in a voice so low she had to lean towards him over the table to be sure of what he was saying. ‘My life was—I don’t know ... less, without you to share it.’
The honesty of his words was there in his eyes. A maelstrom of emotions swept up and over her: relief that he actually had come back for her; self-pity for all she’d suffered, not being aware that he had.
But the strongest feeling was regret. Regret that, even if she had known, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Not unless he’d been willing to stay.
‘Why didn’t you get in touch with me?’
‘I tried. I went to the house you shared and—’
‘I’d moved by then.’
He nodded. ‘And left no forwarding address. I spoke with your friends, pleaded with them to tell me where you’d gone but no one would say a word. You must have sworn them to silence or something.’
Gem dared not look at his face. In her closed-in world of grief and hurt that was exactly what she’d done.
‘Eventually I tried admin at the uni but they refused to give out student information so I went to the Pre-History department.’ The smile disappeared from his face; his eyes glittered darkly beneath the flop of coal-black fringe. I’ll give you one guess who I spoke to.’ His impatience spared her the necessity of response. ‘The professor.’
She stared at him, stunned. ‘What did Roger say?’
‘That you’d deferred your course and gone back to Canberra. He also informed me that you’d left word not to try to contact you. I was not a welcome person in your life.’
The blood froze in her veins as his words hammered into her brain. Jamie’s eyes were fixed on her mouth, awaiting some response.
She forced the words around the lump in her throat. ‘And you believed him?’
‘I had no reason not to. You’d said you never wanted to see me again and your friends gave the impression they were just following your wishes. I put the professor’s bitterness down to our mutual dislike. If I’d known it was because he’d hooked up with y—’
She spoke over him. ‘That must have been just after my parents’ accident. Roger didn’t tell me any of this.’
Her mind whirled with the implications of what Jamie had just revealed. At that stage she’d discovered she was pregnant and, caught up in a miasma of grief and guilt, had allowed herself to be seduced by Roger. He believed he was Drew’s father and she’d never let him suspect otherwise.
‘Would it have made any difference if I’d been able to see you?’ Jamie asked into the silence.
Would it have changed anything? For a moment she lost herself, recalling the soul-destroying sorrow she’d only just managed to survive after he left, the terror of finding herself pregnant with no family for support, the vow she’d made, that if he ever did come back she’d have nothing to do with him.
Before admitting to anything she had a question that demanded an answer. ‘Did you intend to go back to uni?’
‘No. Why would I want to do that?’ He looked genuinely puzzled. ‘I was hoping you might have changed your mind about joining me and Harry.’
And there it was. Proof their relationship would never have worked. He didn’t understand her at all.
‘It doesn’t matter anyway, Jamie. Your question about whether it would have made a difference is irrelevant. I’m still married.’ For another two weeks until the divorce order becomes official. He didn’t need to know that. In fact, much safer if he didn’t; it’d keep him at a distance.
‘I see.’ Jamie sounded hurt.
She fumbled for a response. ‘It ... look, it’s all water under the bridge now.’
‘If you say so.’ Though he nodded, he didn’t look convinced.
She studied the face of this man she’d once loved, the biological father of her beautiful little boy. The flickering light of the candle created a small circle of intimacy, highlighting his strong bone structure, intensifying the depth of his eyes. The spicy scent of his aftershave lingered in her nostrils. She liked the way he smelled. Always had. It might not be in her to forgive him for grinding into dust the carefully laid plans she’d had for her life but, sadly, that didn’t make her immune to his physical appeal.
His long fingers cupped the glass he raised to his lips. She couldn’t seem to stop watching him. She stared at his mouth, remembering how it had once felt to be kissed by those lips. Her head was buzzing; she’d obviously had too much Chianti. The warmth of it flowed along her veins, flushing her skin, bringing back memories of his touch. The heat of his long legs radiate
d towards hers under the table, and the full force of his gaze drowned her senses. He was so dazzlingly good-looking. So big and solid and protective. And her wayward body was responding alarmingly to the old pull.
Then something nudged at her mind. She shouldn’t be having these crazy thoughts—any meaningful relationship needed so much more than just sexual attraction to work.
Jamie spoke, his deep voice mesmerising her, making it impossible to concentrate on what he was saying rather than the man himself. ‘Earth to Gem.’ He was eyeing her quizzically.
‘Sorry? What did you say? I was ... ’ she flicked a dismissive hand, ‘ ... somewhere else.’
‘I’m kinda wishing I was too.’ His smile was rueful. ‘At least we’ve got things sorted now. So ... friends?’
Friends? Was that even possible with this man?
A wave of guilt followed; she’d kept a huge secret from him and treated him like a leper since she’d arrived, while he’d remained pretty considerate, overall. Accepting his olive branch was the least she could do.
‘Friends,’ she agreed.
‘Good. Let’s start over. Tell me what’s brought you to Rainbow Cliffs. I know just about everything going on in the place. Maybe I can help.’
Should she confide in Jamie? A leg up the career ladder rested on a successful result here. With his local knowledge and background in palaeontology he might actually be of some help.
She inhaled a deep breath. ‘I’ve come to track down an opalised skeleton.’ Although she kept her voice steady, professional, a frisson of pure excitement raced through her.
A sound that might have been astonishment came from Jamie. For a fraction of a second an expression of what could have been incredulity took possession of his face, before she found herself impaled by a steel stare.
His cryptic silence spurred her on. It was imperative he understand how much this meant to her. ‘It could be a hundred million years old, Jamie. Maybe even more. It’d be an absolute coup for me if I can acquire it.’
He stared at her for long seconds. ‘Coup, huh? Sounds ambitious. What’s in it for you?’ The tone was teasing but the words had a definite edge.
‘A grant, studying the most recent dinosaur finds in western Queensland.’ She couldn’t keep from smiling at the thought. ‘I want this so bad I can taste it. If I secure this fossil the decision-makers on the museum board will have to be impressed.’
He nodded, a frown creasing two lines between his eyebrows. ‘Mind telling me how the museum found out about the discovery?’
She needed no excuse to discuss something that meant so much to her, both for its kudos and in terms of gaining back the self-esteem Roger had worked tirelessly to destroy. ‘It’s an amazing piece of luck. The director—my boss, Angela—is old friends with a woman who lives here. They email occasionally and she mentioned the find.’ The sheer thrill of it washed over her. ‘Unbelievable, isn’t it?’
‘Unbelievable,’ he echoed. ‘This friend of your boss is Louise Parker?’
‘Uh huh.’
A shadow crossed his face and his shoulders slumped. The change in him was puzzling.
‘Have you heard anything about the find, Jamie?’
His mouth a tight white line, he appeared to mull over her words. Then he gave a shake of his head. ‘I hate to tell you this, Gem, but finds like the one you describe aren’t all that uncommon and, um, I’m afraid ... ’
She swallowed around the cold ball of foreboding that had taken over her throat. ‘Go on.’
He darted her a distinctly uncomfortable look. ‘The skeletons are always sold off as individual gem pieces. Opals are worth a helluva lot more per piece than your museum could even aspire to pay for the entire skeleton.’
Anguish and denial vying within her, she stared at him. ‘You’re telling me there are people in this town who would destroy an irreplaceable prehistoric find for the sake of money?’ She couldn’t control the contempt in her voice.
Jamie nodded, toying with his glass, not meeting her eyes. ‘Afraid so.’
‘But that’s criminal!’
He grimaced. ‘Hey, hang on a bit. Opal mining’s a tough life. The odds of making a fortune are thousands to one. If some lucky bastard came across something like you describe can you really blame him for wanting to make as much money from it as possible?’
She stared at him, her mind racing and the blood in her veins glacial, trying to fathom his words. Not only had he intimated the fossil she was after could already have been broken up and sold off, he’d also tried to defend the actions of the bastard who’d committed the act.
‘I have no respect whatsoever for anyone who’d accept money for the destruction of something priceless.’ She gave him her most withering glance. ‘And I can’t believe you, of all people, are sticking up for someone who would.’
He hovered on the verge of responding, the muscles working at the side of his jaw as if he wanted to say more, but for some reason he caught himself. His gaze once again slid away. ‘Seems you’ve come a long way for nothing.’
The ground opened up beneath her feet. No! She couldn’t—wouldn’t!—go back empty-handed. Her need to win the grant overrode everything; trying to survive in Sydney as a single mother in a rented flat was a financial nightmare. Yet another thing to thank her almost-ex with his non-existent child-support payments for.
She folded her arms over her chest, tilted her chin higher, struggling to keep the cool mask in place against the swell of panic flaring inside. ‘I don’t give up that easily.’
He flung her an agitated look, annoyance in both the set of his broad shoulders and his expression. ‘So you intend to stay?’ he asked, the muscles of his jaw tight.
Why he seemed so angry she didn’t know but the change in demeanour irritated her. She nodded coolly.
‘You’re wasting your time,’ he snapped. Then, as if suddenly weary of the conversation, he lifted his shoulders like he couldn’t care one way or the other. ‘But hey, it’s your life.’
‘You better believe it.’ She punched the words out, pleased to have regained some control of the situation.
He held her stare for a moment longer, clearly digesting her words, before one of those grins that came too easily to his lips replaced the hard look. He barked a forced laugh then, hand on heart, leaned across the table. ‘I don’t know why I’m doing my best to get rid of a paying customer. Forgive me?’
The dramatic about-face was disconcerting. ‘Forgive you? No,’ she said matter-of-factly.
‘Aw, c’mon.’ His gaze became intense. ‘Because there’s something else I have to tell—’
‘Yoo-hoo.’
Jamie jumped to his feet, his intriguing words curtailed by the arrival in the doorway of a plump, pleasant-looking woman. Judging from the grey-flecked hair and matronly stature, she had to be in her fifties.
‘Hello, Jamie.’ The woman bustled over to the table. ‘Is your dad about?’
‘He’s gone to Wilcannia for supplies. Be back around ten.’ Beneath the attempt at geniality was a hint of irritation.
‘And who have we here?’ Gemma found herself the subject of close inspection from a pair of penetrating hazel eyes. ‘Have we met before, love? You look familiar.’
Gemma shook her head and extended her right hand. ‘I’m Ge—’
‘Lou, this is Gem Stephens.’ His words cut abruptly across hers. ‘Or should I say Devane?’
Ignoring the gibe, Gemma rose to shake hands. ‘Lou? Louise Parker? I planned to catch up with you tomorrow. I work with Angela Dow.’
The other woman’s arms reached out to hug her to her soft body like a long-lost daughter. ‘It’s lovely to meet you, Gem.’ Her manner was so warm, so welcoming, she found herself liking the woman immediately. ‘Has this lovely young man been filling you in on his find?’
Feeling Jamie’s stare, she swung round to meet his eyes. His face was tight with apprehension.
The coldest of chills settled over her, a raw tightness in h
er chest preventing all but the tiniest intake of breath. ‘His find?’ she repeated, leaden with a feeling of inevitability.
‘Hasn’t he shown you his pride and joy yet? The opalised fossil he found?’
Chapter 3
Lou’s question hit Gemma with an almost physical force. She stared hard at Jamie, words of protest lodged like a rock in her throat. He wouldn’t do this to her! Total honesty was something they’d always demanded of each other during their youthful relationship. He may have changed in some ways but he’d never deliberately lie to her.
Would he?
A telltale flicker in the depths of his eyes confirmed her fears. He’d done just that.
‘I didn’t lie to you, Gem.’
Dizzy with disbelief, she inhaled a steadying breath. How could he still read her thoughts? And why, with all those years of practice married to Roger, hadn’t she seen through the falsity?
Because you’re a fool and you let your guard down.
Fury replaced her initial instinct of denial. ‘How would you describe it then? Memory lapse? A little white lie? Come on, tell me.’ Roger was a past master at this; she thought she’d heard every excuse under the sun but maybe she was wrong. Seeing Jamie squirm gave her a grim satisfaction.
‘I’d describe it as bloody bad luck Lou arrived just as I was about to tell you it was me who discovered the skeleton.’ The look he fired at the older woman, now frowning at them both, was unreadable.
A brief memory nudged Gemma’s mind. ‘That’s what you’d started to say?’
He nodded, holding her gaze. Was he telling the truth this time? Yes, the answer was there in his eyes.
‘Is it still intact?’ she demanded.
He nodded again, and as quick as it had flared her anger ebbed, followed immediately by a massive swell of excitement.
Yes! The fossil was as good as hers.
‘But that’s fantastic!’ It was all she could do not to throw herself at him, already envisaging the accolades from the board.
‘Don’t jump the gun, Gem.’ The hairs on the back of her neck lifted. ‘I didn’t say I’d sell the skeleton to your museum.’
Falling In Love Again Page 3
