‘None of your business.’
‘You’re so wrong, Jamie. Anything that affects you is my business ... you’re my son.’
Despite the dark shadows cloaking his father’s face in the unlit recesses of the room, the strain this whole situation was imposing on him was unmistakable. Harry’s sagging shoulders and bruised expression dredged up a lump to Jamie’s throat that threatened to choke him.
You’re my son ... Those words held so much pride, so much love, they unleashed a whole new sea of feeling that flooded through Jamie with an intensity that forced his breath out in a ragged gasp. Caught between a sudden need to unburden himself and an unwillingness to face up to the way he’d reacted at being told he had a son himself, his emotions were strung so tight that the tiniest twang and he’d break like an over-taut guitar string.
‘Please, talk to me.’ The exasperation rolling off his father was a tangible thing, but the thought of confiding all that had just happened had Jamie’s heart madly pounding and he couldn’t—just couldn’t—do it.
‘Why can’t you leave me to deal with this in my own way, Harry?’
‘Because you and I both know exactly how you handle personal issues. You turn your feelings into anger at the world. It’s what you did when your mother passed away, and I don’t want to see you going down that destructive path again.’ He squeezed Jamie’s shoulder. ‘Avoidance is no way to solve problems.’
Jamie picked at a small gouge in the wooden border of Gracie’s glass case. The harsh reminder of that terrible time in both their lives coiled his gut.
But the words rang true.
How many times had he opted for avoidance over confrontation where personal matters were concerned? When his mother died; when he’d left uni of his own accord rather than fail his course; when he’d given up too easily on Gem after being told she’d moved on. The list was damning.
‘I—’ he began, then stopped as his throat compressed. He raised his eyes to the earthen ceiling, searching for words. ‘It’s the only way I have of coping with the crap the universe has thrown at me.’
His father reached out a hand but withdrew it when Jamie indicated to stop. ‘No need for excuses, son. We each have our own way. But there comes a time when you have to deal with your prob—’
‘That’s just it!’ he interjected, oblivious to the desperation in his tone until the words were out. ‘I don’t know how to deal with what I’ve just learned.’
‘What? What is it?’ Harry demanded, face knotted with worry.
Somehow Jamie gathered himself together. ‘Gem has kept something from me for seven years.’ Propelled by a renewed bout of anger he bashed a fist on the edge of the display case. ‘Seven years! A secret she had no right to keep.’
‘Go on.’
His throat closed over again; it took a huge effort to speak. ‘Drew ... her little boy ... Dad ... he’s mine.’
In uttering it out loud, spilling his guts to Harry, the reality of it finally started to sink in. He had a child. A son.
Drew.
He looked across at Harry. His father’s initial open-mouthed astonishment slowly disappeared and his lips creased into their familiar smile, a smile that continued to grow and widen until it took over his entire face. That’s when it struck Jamie; the implications of Drew’s existence were almost as far-reaching for his dad as they were for himself.
‘I’m a grandfather?’ Harry’s snort of amazed laughter echoed through the room. ‘Well whaddya know.’
Jamie briefly inclined his head, wishing with a fervency that made a whirlpool of his insides that he felt the same joy. But how could he, with Gem’s betrayal still so fresh in his mind—and in his broken heart?
Harry’s chest shook with repressed emotion. ‘I have a grandson.’ He couldn’t seem to stop nodding and grinning, and the longing in his voice was palpable. ‘As if having you for my son hasn’t made my life wonderful enough, on top of that you’ve given me a grandchild.’ He launched himself across the room to circle the glass case and drag Jamie close, clasping him tight in his arms, the way he had when Jamie was a small boy. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.’
The strong hands clapping him on the back felt solid and reassuring and calming, and he didn’t want those feelings to end; didn’t want to have to own up that any relationship he might have with Drew in the future depended on whether he could bring himself to ever speak to Gem again. At the moment his emotions were too raw to even consider it, so he clung to his father and said nothing, sadly aware this peaceful, loving interlude would not last long.
Finally Harry drew back, a huge self-satisfied smile on his face. ‘I reckon I’d have to be the luckiest man on the planet.’ The tears trapped in the deep lines on either side of his mouth bore testament to that and Jamie, hating himself for what he had to do next, swiped away the wetness at the corners of his own eyes.
Doing his best to ignore the bone-deep sorrow that dragged at his shoulders, he drew himself up straight and planted his legs wide apart, one hand nervously wrestling with the fingers of the other. ‘Before you go getting all mushy on me, let me finish what I started to tell you.’
His father’s smile faltered.
‘I can’t forgive Gem for keeping Drew a secret. I understand that she didn’t know she was pregnant the last time we saw each other and, yes, we lost contact for all those years, but she’s been in Rainbow Cliffs for a week, and it’s not as if she hasn’t had plenty of opportunity to tell before now. Seems she didn’t trust me.’
That’s what hurt the most. Her lack of trust. He’d thought their love—newly rediscovered, but definitely growing—strong enough, and their trust deep enough, to be able to tell each other anything without fear of censure.
He’d thought wrong.
‘Okay, so you two had a fight and that’s why she was upset. I’m pretty sure by now that Lou will’ve been able to calm her down and we can get this sorted.’
‘She’s not the only one who’s upset, Dad!’ he snapped. ‘And maybe I don’t want you and Lou involved!’
Harry threw his hands skyward and mumbled something inaudible under his breath, but when he eventually spoke aloud his tone was calm. ‘Then why tell me about it in the first place?’
‘I don’t know ... ’ And he didn’t. ‘You—you caught me off-guard. I’ve only just found out myself and I haven’t had a chance to take it all in yet. But what I do know is that whatever happens from here on in, it’s up to me to sort it out. No one else.’
‘That’s a fine sentiment, son, and I admire your ability to take care of things yourself. But sometimes it helps to talk difficult things over with people who have your best interests at heart. You’ve been taking care of me for a lot of years. How about letting me help you for once?’
‘Are you kidding me, Harry? You’re the one who’s looked after me. I owe you so much.’
‘You don’t owe me anything. I’m your father and anything I’ve ever done for you, I did because I love you, not because I expected to be paid back. That’s not the way family works. You’ll find that out for yourself soon enough.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, you’re a father now. You’re going to discover how wonderful, how fulfilling, how ... complete your life is, having brought a child into the world. You’ll have the pleasure of watching that little boy grow into a man with what I hope will be as much integrity and generosity as you have. And you’ll love him, and be as proud of him as I am of you.’
‘So you’re saying I should get over all Gem’s lies, and forget her lack of trust in me, just like that.’ He snapped his fingers in the air.
Harry put up a hand. ‘No, I’m saying take a little time to digest what’s happened, knowing you can use me as a sounding board, if you so choose.’ His voice was low and measured. ‘And give Lou a chance to chat with Gem. That woman is a proverbial eye of calm in a hurricane of strife; she’ll get Gem sorted. Then, when you’re both ready, talk this situation out between y
ou and make some decisions.’ He leaned forward, pointing a finger, his eyes aglitter with passion. ‘Your little boy’s future depends on it. It’s not his fault all this has happened.’
His father’s words hit home and the pain that he’d stifled beneath his ribs reasserted its presence with a sharp pang. He could have kicked himself. He’d been so focused on his own problems, his own hurts, his own pride that he hadn’t stopped to think about the ramifications of the situation for his own son.
A photo Gem had shared with him days ago rose in his mind’s eye. A six-year-old with a tentative smile, a tousle of blonde hair and soulful blue eyes gazing into the camera lens; the image of his mother, but with a more angular, and what would eventually be a more masculine, shape to his face.
His son. A child to love. And to love him back. A first encounter with the concept of continuity; of someone to carry on the family name after him. Something he’d always wanted yet never allowed himself to pursue.
Out of the blue a grin—a reaction he couldn’t subdue if he tried—took control of his face. Talk about mind-blowing.
All he had to do was forgive Gem.
Did he have it in him?
Over the last week, the more time he’d spent with her, watching her evolve from ice princess into the warm, loving girl of his memory, the more he’d fallen back in love with her. Or maybe he’d never quite managed to get her out of his system in the first place. And never wanted to.
‘But how do I get past the lies, Dad?’
‘Lies are told for any number of reasons. Sometimes there’s a selfish basis, other times it’s to save hurting someone, and then again sometimes people are forced into it by circumstances. Did Gem lie or just neglect to tell the whole truth? There’s a difference.’
Jamie stilled for several moments, looking inward, reviewing what had actually been said. ‘She told me Devane went ballistic when she told him I was Drew’s father and that he forced her into the supposed reconciliation by threatening to confront me with that fact before she was ready to tell me herself.’
‘Okay, so she misrepresented the truth to protect you from being hurt. Did she actually lie to you about Drew?’
‘No,’ he conceded. ‘But she did keep the fact that I’m his father from me for too long.’
Harry eyed him with a mixture of impatience and annoyance. ‘Given any thought as to why she might have done that?’
‘I guess because she didn’t know how I’d respond.’
‘And how did you respond?’
Exasperation crept into his voice. ‘I got angry.’
His father nodded knowingly. ‘Exactly.’
‘I wasn’t angry about Drew.’ He rounded on Harry, determined to make him understand. ‘I was angry she thought so little of me she couldn’t trust I’d be happy at finding out I’m a father.’
His father sighed heavily. ‘Put yourself in Gem’s shoes. She’s a single mother with no family support and keeping something of vital consequence from everyone. The implications of disclosing that secret would affect not only her but that ex-husband of hers, you and, most importantly, Drew.’ His expression softened. ‘That little boy’s old enough to find this whole situation confusing and very frightening. She loves him like only a mother can love her child, and it’s only natural to want to protect him from hurt. Can you really blame her for taking it slow?’
Jamie’s thoughts returned to Gem; to her wounded eyes, filled with anguish and bewilderment when he’d ordered her to leave. Why hadn’t it occurred to him to consider her courage, the strength of spirit it must have taken for her to finally admit the truth? Okay, he’d been hurt by the circumstances under which she’d chosen to tell him, but did maintaining his pride matter more than clearing up this mess?
Hell no! Conscience reinstated itself; other things transcended his pride. For one, the need to get down on his knees and apologise to Gem.
A surge of fierce longing pulsed through him. He had to see her. Now.
‘What are you waiting for?’ Harry said with a good-natured grin. ‘Do I have to hit you over the head with a brick?’
Creak. They both looked up expectantly as the door pushed open.
‘Now why would you want to do that?’ Roger Devane emerged from the shadows.
‘Jamie and I have what some people may call a curious way of showing our affection for one another.’ His father’s feelings about the other man showed in the uncharacteristic coldness of his voice.
Devane’s glance brushed over Harry. ‘Good for you.’ Despite having asked the question his tone conveyed just how uninterested he was in the explanation. ‘Some privacy might be nice while your son and I complete this deal,’ he added, pushing unceremoniously past him.
The air of dismissal grated. ‘My father stays if he wishes to.’ Harry nodded his okay.
The professor let go an irritated sigh. ‘Whatever.’ He shoved forward a sheaf of forms. ‘You have to sign these.’
Jamie laid the pile on top of the display case. ‘I’d like time to read through them first.’
‘No need. Everything’s in order and your cheque’s at the back.’ Devane spoke with an undertone of command, as a man used to being obeyed. ‘All that’s required is your signature on each page.’
The arrogant assumption he’d kowtow to the man’s directive did not sit well with Jamie. He pulled his back up straight and spread his legs apart. ‘I won’t be railroaded into this.’
The professor’s laugh was almost friendly. ‘I’d hardly call it railroading.’ The pretence at amusement quickly changed to thinly veiled annoyance. ‘You should be thanking your lucky stars, Coltrane. The fortune my boss is paying you is a shitload more than you’d get from anyone else for that fossil.’
Uneasiness crawled up Jamie’s spine, the reality of his situation dawning. This whole thing was turning out so different to the dream he’d held onto for so long; he was supposed to feel good about this. Up until now he hadn’t voiced his fears over what he was about to do, not even to himself, but something was definitely amiss here. Though Devane was doing his best to act nonchalant, the circles of sweat beneath his armpits and the constant fiddling with his fingers betrayed the man’s agitation. The struggle with his conscience lasted only seconds; personal integrity far outweighed any amount of money.
‘That’s true,’ he conceded, ‘but I have to be certain in my own mind that everything to do with this sale is open and above board.’
‘Mr Van Paten’s word not good enough for you?’ the professor sneered.
Jamie had too much honesty in him to be anything other than frank, even with the spectre of the failure of his dream staring him in the face. ‘No, it isn’t.’
Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, cheeks darkening in anger, Devane drew himself up threateningly.
Harry moved immediately to stand between them. ‘What my son means to say is, it’s only common business sense not to sign anything you haven’t read.’
With a shrug of his shoulders, the professor backed down. ‘I’m ... disappointed. I was under the impression our earlier handshake meant you and I had a deal. What’s the real problem here?’
Jamie threw him a scathing look. ‘The problem is you’re a—’
‘If everything’s been dealt with as honestly as you claim, there is no problem,’ Harry interceded, patience personified as usual.
Devane eyed them both for long seconds. ‘Okay, go ahead,’ he said grudgingly, tapping the tips of his fingers rapidly together, ‘but make it quick.’
Jamie picked up the forms, leaned a shoulder against the earthen wall behind him and began to read. The initial pages were straightforward; as he finished scanning he passed them to Harry for further perusal. It was on examining the final form that it became clear his father’s doubts about the legality of the sale proved justified.
What sort of idiot have you been?
He’d been so spun out on the prospect of finally fulfilling his dream, so determined to convince himself he owed
Gem nothing, that he’d been willing to take the word of a man he should never have trusted. A chill ran through his body and his skin crawled with self-disgust, knowing he’d agreed to the professor’s deal without questioning its legitimacy.
He handed Harry the sheet, somehow managing to keep his face impassive, not wanting the anger rubbing away at his insides to take control. ‘This states that the export consists of unworked stones. That’s a long way from the truth. Where’s the permit signed by the Minister for the Arts that you said you’d arranged?’ His gaze on Devane remained unswerving while the other man’s eyes darted around, refusing to meet his.
‘Oh, that? It was going to take weeks to formalise and Mr Van Paten is not a patient man. He wants the skeleton and he wants it now. That description seemed the most ... expedient way to deal with the situation.’ The professor paced the earth floor in short, restless steps. ‘So if you’ll just sign at the bottom there.’
Harry looked up from reading the final form, his forehead creased in a deep scowl. ‘You’re asking my son to authenticate a statement he knows to be false?’
Devane radiated impatience. ‘Look, once dismantled the fossil can easily be disguised as unworked stones. No one has to know but you, me and my boss. What do you say?’
Heart pounding an angry drumbeat against his ribs, Jamie drew in a deep, steadying breath. ‘I say it’s illegal and I won’t be a party to it.’
An expression of disbelief crossed the professor’s face before he gave a nod and a knowing little smile. ‘You want more money,’ he said, clearly convinced he had Jamie’s measure. ‘You drive a hard bargain, Coltrane, but I’m sure that can be arranged.’
‘Keep your cheque. I won’t be selling Gracie to you.’
The smirk slid from the professor’s face. ‘Oh, come on, man. Have you thought this through? You’re being offered enough money to get you out of this dump and set you up for life.’
Harry blazed into instant outrage. ‘Hey, watch what you—’
Falling In Love Again Page 20
