Falling In Love Again

by Marilyn Forsyth

  The answer leapt in his heart. No! Maybe seven years ago. Not anymore.

  He needed to see her, to speak to her, to take her in his arms. Urgently.

  Oblivious to him, Lou and his father whispered their small talk, interspersed with smiles and loving touches. Jamie grinned to himself. Everything was going to be okay for them.

  For him? He just knew he had to get back to Gem.

  Chapter 23

  Jamie squinted, his eyes adjusting from the hot glare of the midday sun outside to the muted light of the foyer. His heart jumped in his chest as it always did on first catching sight of her.

  Gem saw him and rose from the chair behind reception, her lovely face revealing only wide-eyed surprise. From the tantalising glimpse of cleavage at the vee of her t-shirt to the shapely length of leg below her shorts, from the blonde cascade of hair around her shoulders to the sweet curve of her luscious mouth, she was one sexy woman.

  His hungry eyes tracked her as she moved from around the desk to within touching distance. He inhaled the scent of roses that always surrounded her and the fragrance wrapped around him to the point where it seemed that every muscle in his body breathed in unison with the sheer pleasure of it.

  ‘How’s—’

  ‘Harry’s—’

  They both started at once.

  He smiled down at her, longing to reach for her across the space between them but unsure of her reaction. Had she forgiven him for his brief second of doubt over the missing key, just prior to Harry’s collapse? She hadn’t yet returned his smile and her eyes were red-rimmed. Worry over Harry?

  Heart beating fast and hard, somehow he stopped himself from reaching out for her but instead looked deep into her eyes. ‘Harry’s going to be all right.’

  Her expressive face, a face that revealed her every thought, broke into a smile of genuine relief. ‘Good ... good. How’s Lou holding up?’

  ‘She’s ... doing well.’ There’d be time for explanations of just how well Harry and Lou were doing a little later. For now, all he wanted to do was feast his eyes on the most beautiful girl in the world. ‘She’s staying at the hospital to keep Harry company for another week or so until he’s ready to come home.’

  Gem’s smile faded. ‘So ... you’re back.’

  He nodded slowly, keeping his gaze on her face, wishing he could kiss away all the unhappiness.

  ‘I’m so sorry Jamie,’ she said, her eyes suddenly bright with new tears. ‘There’s been no sign of Gracie.’

  The unmasked anguish triggered a upsurge of his heart towards hers; he knew exactly what she was going through, had felt that same way himself only this morning. So that was why she’d been crying. Well, one sure-fire way to fix that.

  He grabbed her hand. ‘You’d better come with me.’

  She gave a hopeless shrug. ‘Why?’

  ‘You’ll see,’ he said evasively, concerned that even that was giving too much away.

  He headed for the doorway into the mine. A sudden adrenaline rush upped his walk to a run and he couldn’t stop grinning as she trotted to keep pace with him, breathlessly asking questions that he refused to answer.

  Inside the Ballroom he collected the hard hats and torches needed to go deeper into the mine. Then, back bent over to accommodate the height restrictions, he pulled her after him through a series of long-unused tunnels that twisted and turned according to promising early leads that had eventually petered out to nothing. When he spotted the glass case at the end of the final tunnel, just where Harry had described, he felt a stab of excitement in his belly. He hadn’t dared contemplate Gracie not being there.

  Gem’s hand flew to her mouth and with a shriek that reverberated through the quiet of the underground passageway she pushed past him. The excitement was all over her, from the smile of unadulterated joy lighting her lovely face, to the uncontrollable stamping of her feet, to the hands clasped tightly together in an attitude of prayer, torch hastily tucked under one arm.

  But then she rounded on him, her face clouding over. ‘What the hell is she doing here?’

  He had intended to make a joke, to tell her he’d forgotten he’d moved Gracie here for safekeeping, but one look at the blazing eyes and set chin put paid to that. She wasn’t ready to be messed with just now.

  ‘Harry moved her. On his own. It’s possible that’s what brought on the stroke.’

  She stared at him blankly. ‘Why on earth would he do that?’

  He filled her in on Harry’s reasoning as they crept along the narrowing tunnel, heads lowered to avoid hitting the dirt roof. When he reached the glass case, the hairs on the back of his neck tingled as the enormity of having found his treasure intact took hold.

  Tears pricked the back of his eyes as he stared down at Gracie. It was like seeing her for the first time. She was breathtakingly stunning; the rainbow of opalised colours rippling through her bones played like fire burning in ice. A thrill of pride engulfed his chest knowing it was he who’d been responsible for freeing her from her tomb. Even though she’d been dead for millions of years she was very much alive to him.

  How could he ever have considered dismantling her and selling her off? He shook his head at even having contemplated the idea. He couldn’t have lived with himself if he had. Harry was right.

  So was Gem. This brilliant, beautiful woman at his side. The one who’d shared a brief but intensely emotional role in his past, the mother of his child, the woman who was his future. The first, the only, love of his life.

  They moved, one to either end of the glass case, and began wheeling it through the uneven piles of dirt that littered the tunnel floor, Gem guiding, Jamie pushing. The pungent aroma of freshly disturbed earth penetrated his nostrils and he breathed it in, loving the smell.

  ‘So, neither Roger nor Brett Slade had anything to do with her disappearance,’ Gem said, her voice echoing hollowly. She sounded almost disappointed.

  ‘I had my suspicions. Turns out I was wrong.’

  She bit at her lower lip. ‘After confronting Roger and realising he hadn’t taken Gracie, I ... well, I was convinced Slade had taken her. I, um, I as good as called him a thief when he was here for his appointment with Nick Carmody.’

  ‘No need to feel bad about that. He is a thief. Been lying and stealing for years.’

  ‘That’s pretty much how Pete Krazinski summed him up.’

  ‘You called Pete in?’

  They emerged into the expanse of the Ballroom and he pushed his shoulders back in relief at being able to stand up straight again. Gem pulled off her hard hat, tossed it to the floor and shook her hair free.

  ‘Boy, oh boy, do I have things to tell you.’

  Jamie watched and listened to her animated explanation of all that had gone down during the day, his pride at her audacity escalating with every second. Though it was hard to contain his own excited anticipation at the thought of sharing his special news about Harry and Lou with her, the sheer pleasure of watching Gem at her least guarded was just too enjoyable to interrupt.

  ‘Next thing you know, Slade bolted out the front door.’ The slap of one palm against the other denoted the speed of his exit.

  A chuckle rumbled up from deep inside, and an echoing spasm took hold of Gem. Then, side by side, they were suddenly laughing so hard neither could catch their breath. The relief from the almost unendurable tension of the previous few days overflowed, finding its outlet in waves of delirious laughter, and it was minutes before either of them regained any semblance of control.

  But the high was short-lived.

  ‘Oh my god! Is that the time?’ Gem was staring at her watch and her expression had wilted from laughter into concern. ‘Jamie, I’m sorry to do this, but ... ’ She paused, clearly having difficulty with what she needed to say. ‘Look, there’s no easy way to do this so I’ll just get to the point.’

  ‘Spit it out.’ He nudged her arm with his elbow. ‘Can’t be that bad.’

  ‘I have to get back to Sydney.’

&nbs
p; Shit.

  He knew the time for this had to be coming, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. ‘Yeah, I know. We’ll sort out what we’re gonna do over dinner.’ Right this minute all he wanted was to pull her into his arms and kiss that soft, sweet mouth of hers until they were both dizzy and gasping for air. Then he’d show her, in the most tender way he knew how, just how much he loved her. He reached out an arm to draw her close but she backed away.

  ‘No, you don’t understand. I didn’t realise how much time has slipped away since you got back and how late it’s getting. I need to leave now.’

  * * *

  Jamie’s eyes flashed to hers and he half-laughed, as if he thought she was joking, but then the smile died on his lips. ‘What? Right now?’

  Gemma took in the hardened muscles standing out in knots along the arms now resting on the glass case, the five-o’clock shadow emphasising his square jaw, his generous mouth. She wanted to touch him so badly; she could so easily just throw herself into his arms.

  But what good would that do except to stave off the inevitable. She hated having to make the choice, but the decision she’d come to was made for all the right reasons.

  Heart pounding like a jackhammer, she tightened her lips in determination. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Why?’ he demanded, visibly shaken.

  ‘I need to see my baby.’ Her voice started to break so she took a deep breath, pushed the air out slowly. ‘I haven’t seen him for a week now, and I’m feeling guilty about having left him for so long.’

  The simple truth was the best—the only—answer, but she had to turn away, not wanting to witness any longer the confusion and disappointment in Jamie’s face. She’d done as much as she could to prepare for this moment but it didn’t make it any easier.

  He touched a hand to her chin, tilted it up, forcing her to meet his gaze. ‘I get that you miss him. I really do. And he’ll be missing you, too. I remember what it was like for me as a kid when Mum had to spend all that time in hospital.’ Briefly his eyes clouded over before he returned to her. ‘But the sensible thing would be for you to stay tonight and leave early in the morning. You and I have a lot of things to talk over, and I want to find out as much as I can about this little boy of ours before I meet him.’

  Jamie had every right to know anything and everything she could possibly tell him about Drew that she hadn’t told him already, but now was not the time. ‘I ... can’t,’ she said, moving out of his reach to lean against one of the many timber uprights that shored up the Ballroom roof. If only the wood’s strength would transfer itself to her; she needed all the resilience she could muster to get through this.

  ‘Can’t? Or won’t?’ Though his voice was level, his knuckles had whitened from the grip he held on the wooden edging of the glass case.

  ‘I can’t.’ She glanced at her watch again. ‘If I leave it any later, I won’t make it to Cobar for an overnighter, and I’ve got to be home by tomorrow afternoon. Drew’s up for an award at school on Friday and I need to be there.’

  Jamie’s lips curved into a smile. ‘That’s so great! I’d love to be there to see that.’

  The pride in his voice threatened to melt her heart, but at the same time misgivings prickled her skin. As much as she’d love to share with him the pride of watching their son receive his award, it’d be throwing both Jamie and Drew in at the deep end to introduce them and expect immediate rapport. Any connection made to last needed to be built slowly.

  ‘Unfortunately, I can’t leave here until Harry’s well on the road to recovery,’ Jamie continued, before she was forced into a reply. ‘My more immediate concern is for you, driving these outback roads at night. Roos, wombats, they’re out in force at sundown.’ His troubled eyes probed hers. ‘And we have important decisions to make regarding our future, sweetheart. Yours, mine, and Drew’s.’

  She knew that. It was the main reason she needed to be on her own, away from him. He was too good at persuading her to his way of thinking, and she needed personal time to think clearly about where they were headed. For all their sakes.

  ‘I’m sorry but I have to go.’ She backed away towards the door that led out into the motel, willed him not to follow.

  ‘Are you doing this because you think I doubted you about the key the other morning? If that’s the reason, I apologise. Unreservedly. I was wrong. I didn’t—’

  ‘I know you didn’t mean to accuse me. You had every reason to be upset. I was, too.’ She pressed her back against the door, fiddled with the handle behind her, readying for her escape. ‘But it’s more than that.’

  ‘What else? Tell me!’

  The anguish, the confusion rolling off him was palpable. She felt his pain with the intensity of a knife to the chest, but to let her heart rule her head now would only undermine the desperate resolve she’d come to.

  ‘I ... ’ She swallowed hard. ‘I ... care for you, Jamie. I think I always have. And, please believe me, I do want you involved in Drew’s life. But not as a part-time dad.’ She let go the door handle and wrapped both arms around her stomach, a useless attempt to suppress the growing ache inside. ‘Drew needs a male to look up to, someone to help him grow into a good, strong, caring person, and for that to happen that man has to be there for us on a daily basis.’

  And that, right there, was the crux of the problem. After everything her little boy had been through in his short life, no way would she bring a new man into his world unless that man was prepared to be there permanently.

  ‘I want to be that man. I want us to be a family.’

  ‘But you said it yourself; that’s not possible at the moment.’ They were talking round in circles and time was getting away. She had to lay it on the line. ‘Look, I have to figure out how this long-distance thing is going to work for all of us. Or even if it’s going to work.’

  He dashed the side of his fist against the edge of Gracie’s case. ‘You make it sound like it’s all up to you. Shouldn’t we be trying to figure out together how we’re gonna make it work?’

  ‘It’s not that simple. Drew has to be my priority and you still have your obligations to Harry.’

  ‘But that’s just it, I don’t!’ Jamie cried, hands pressed to his head as if he’d suddenly remembered something. ‘Don’t you see? No, of course you wouldn’t. I haven’t had a chance to tell you. There’s no need to buy back the family home. Not any longer.’

  What? ‘Why? What’s happened?’

  Jamie sliced a horizontal line through the air with a hand as he moved from behind the glass case. ‘Harry has zero interest in returning to Sydney. Turns out he’s more than content with his life here in Rainbow Cliffs. And ... ’ His mouth curved into that huge, gorgeous grin of his as he approached her. ‘You are gonna love this.’

  ‘Love what?’

  ‘Harry and Lou are getting married!’

  Her instinctive smile was uncontainable. ‘Oh, Jamie, I’m so glad for them. Those two are wonderful together.’

  ‘They are,’ he said, nodding vigorously. ‘Dad’s been alone too long, and it makes me happy to see how happy Lou makes him.’

  ‘I’m glad you’ve come to realise what a good thing for them both their relationship is. But ... ’ she let go a deep sigh, turned her back on his wonderfully expressive face and pulled on the door handle, ‘… it doesn’t alter the fact that I have to leave. Drew wants me home and for the moment he has to be my first priority.’

  Jamie put a hand to the door, preventing her from opening it fully. ‘Even at the expense of your own happiness?’

  ‘Yes,’ she responded firmly, automatically. ‘Selflessness is part of parenthood. That might be difficult for you to comprehend because you don’t know what it’s like to be a parent. But I have responsibilities I can’t and won’t ignore.’

  ‘It’s not hard to understand, Gem. I’ve felt responsible for Harry since I was a kid.’

  ‘Okay, but fulfilling an obligation to an adult is completely different to being responsible fo
r ensuring that a child feels loved and secure. Especially when that child was raised in a toxic environment.’

  A sickening flash of remembrance sent a tremor shuddering through her, and something inside just ... shattered. How could she ever explain to Jamie the guilt of knowing it was her own choices had led to that situation, the constant worry that she wasn’t doing enough to make it up to her baby, the fierce need to hug Drew close and fierce after spending too long away?

  What she craved at this very minute was to be able to gaze into her son’s serious eyes and wonder at the love that poured through her. To fold him tight in her arms and feel the beat of his little heart against hers. To breathe in the apple scent of his freshly washed hair.

  She had to get home.

  Exerting hard-won control, she pulled open the door and walked out.

  Jamie’s footsteps echoed on the tiles as he stepped out into the earth-carved hallway. ‘So what’s gonna happen about buying Gracie for your museum?’ he called after her.

  Despite the cool of the corridor, a rising heat flooded her body, tearing her heart apart with conflicting emotions. Securing Gracie was what she’d come here to do, but from the moment she’d hung up from Drew’s earlier phone call, after having sat helplessly listening to him cry because he missed her, mother guilt had completely overridden her rational self.

  She stopped, and turned around slowly. ‘I promise I’ll get Angela to contact you as soon as I get back.’

  Jamie stood shaking his head, his arms folded across his chest. ‘I don’t want to talk to your boss.’ The misery on his face said so much more than his words.

  ‘Angela is Lou’s friend so she’ll do the right thing by you. She’s the best person for you to speak to about this.’

  ‘I won’t deal with anyone but you. I know you want to get back for Drew, but I’ve given you the reasons why it’s not a good idea to leave now, and I’m asking you to please stay until tomorrow so we can sort it out.’ Jamie spoke evenly, his fingers now pressed together, prayer-like, in front of his chest. ‘Otherwise ... ’ He threw his hands in the air and gave her an exasperated look, as if she’d given him no choice but to issue an ultimatum.