The Secret of Joy

by Melissa Senate

  “And she’s not even an ex yet,” Rebecca said. “I’m worried.”

  “She’ll be fine. I’m sure of it. I’ve been there. Not quite as bad, but worse in other ways. We just need to keep a close eye on her for a good while. Plus, she’s got all those women to rally around her, too. She’ll be okay.”

  With thanks and more assurances, Maggie dropped off Rebecca at her house. Rebecca took a quick shower, then fell asleep until the phone woke her up.

  Theo. His voice was like a soothing balm. He asked after Ellie, said he’d drop off Charlie, fed and walked, in her backyard sometime this morning, then hung up. But he’d called her, when he could have called Maggie or Ellie directly. He could have just told her to pick up Charlie from his yard.

  He cared. And for right now, that was good enough.

  eighteen

  It was Business Day Eight. Which meant the results of the DNA test might finally be available online. Rebecca had checked yesterday, and the day before. And the day before, but she hadn’t really expected the findings to be posted. Today was the earliest the information packet had said to expect results.

  Rebecca brought her laptop to the kitchen and set it on the table next to the vase of sunflowers that Ellie had brought her yesterday as a thank-you. She stared at the little boxes into which she was supposed to type her name and password. Just do it, she told herself. But she couldn’t. Now that the results could pop up, she was overtaken by fear. What if Joy wasn’t her sister? What if?

  Which meant it was a perfect time to take Charlie for a walk or scrub the spotless white enamel of the sink again. She chose Charlie. And after an hour-long walk off the beaten path, she was back. And there was her computer.

  She hadn’t really thought much about the what-ifs because she did believe, heart, mind, and soul, that Joy Jayhawk was her half sister. But the shadow of a doubt did exist, and shadows were creepy things. And now, for the first time, the shadow was scaring her.

  She took a deep breath, feeling exactly as she had the day she’d typed Joy’s name into the Google search engine and then deleted it five times. This time, though, Charlotte wasn’t here to take over.

  Okay. Just do it! she yelled at herself. And so she logged on, entered the password, and then held her breath and closed her eyes.

  She opened them to see a jumble of words: half siblingship DNA testing … genetic link strongly supported—conclusive …

  Rebecca jumped up. “Thank you, universe!”

  She printed out the page and drove over to Joy’s house and knocked on the door. “Please be home,” she said to the door.

  No answer.

  She rang the bell again. And again.

  The door opened, and there was Joy, her hair in a ponytail, her feet in the same red fringed clogs she’d worn the first day Rebecca had seen her.

  “You’re my sister,” Rebecca said, clutching the printout.

  Joy stared at her, then grabbed the paper and scanned it. Her hand flew to her mouth. “It’s so … official,” she said. “Right there in black and white.”

  “I never had any doubt. You feel like my sister, Joy.”

  “It doesn’t really change anything, though. I’ve always known who my father was. I really didn’t need a test to confirm it.”

  God, she was tough.

  “But doesn’t it make it just a tiny bit more real?” Rebecca asked.

  All of a sudden, Rex in his Superman cape came barreling over and snaked around Joy’s legs. “Hi, Becsa! Read me story?”

  Joy bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment, and Rebecca knew she had her. The wall already had a big crack in it and now it was starting to crumble.

  “Honey, I don’t know if Rebecca is able to stay for a story,” Joy said to Rex.

  “I can stay for a little while. If it’s okay with your mom,” Rebecca said, her eyes on Joy.

  Rex grabbed Rebecca’s hand and tugged. “Come on! I want to show you what I made in school today. It’s pipe wieners.”

  Rebecca laughed, and Joy stepped aside, her expression tight. But still, she’d let Rebecca in.

  At six o’clock that night, Rebecca arrived at Joy’s bearing a loaf of Portuguese bread. After Rebecca had left that morning, after only twenty minutes—Joy had interrupted the building of a tower of blocks by insisting it was Rex’s naptime—Joy had invited Rebecca over for dinner “to talk.” It was a start.

  Rebecca wanted to bring wine, but she wasn’t so sure if Joy would think of the results as a cause for celebration or an “It is what it is.” Yet when she followed Joy into the kitchen, there was a bottle of white wine and two glasses on the table.

  Joy poured, then held up her glass. “To learning how to be sisters.”

  Rebecca’s heart flip-flopped. She held up her glass, and they clinked. “I will drink to that.”

  Joy grinned. “I might have to drink the whole bottle to that. Like I said, it’s not like I needed anything confirmed. I always knew you were my half sister. I just couldn’t deal with it, with what it meant. What it means.”

  “What does it mean to you?” Rebecca asked.

  Joy took a sip of her wine. “It means I have to finally deal with the fact that my biological father turned his back on me, didn’t want me, wasn’t interested in me. My mother used to tell me that, impossible as it seemed, I shouldn’t take it personally because it wasn’t about me at all—it was about him. But how’s a kid supposed to do that?”

  Rebecca nodded. “I’ve thought about that a lot since my father told me about you.”

  “And then—wham!—one day you show up with the news that he’s dead and that you’re my sister, and everyone’s expecting me to welcome you into my life with open arms. No.”

  Rebecca ripped off a piece of the crusty bread. “I completely get that. I guess I had this fantasy fairy tale in mind that you would.”

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed,” she said, then laughed. “You do try hard, don’t you, Rebecca?”

  She smiled. “Guess so.”

  “My son sure likes you.”

  “That goes back double for me.”

  Joy let out a deep breath and leaned back, her blond hair falling over the edge of the straight-backed chair. “So I have a sister. Huh.”

  “And we have, what, the next seventy years to figure all this out.” Maybe she shouldn’t have said that. That was a lot of pressure.

  But Joy just smiled. They were family. And not just because the results said so. Because they said so. Because Joy was finally saying so.

  Over Pasta Primavera and Rebecca’s Portuguese bread, Joy said, “I still don’t feel comfortable taking the money, but I will. What a hardship, right? To save my marriage, I have to accept over half a million dollars.” She shook her head. “It’s so crazy. I can’t even believe this has become my biggest problem—a fortune dropping into my lap.”

  “I’m relieved you’ve made peace with it,” Rebecca said.

  “I do think Harry’s right—the money is symbolic of my accepting what is and getting over it.” She bit her lip and glanced at Rebecca. “And I want you to know that I’m glad you stuck around, stuck it out. Stuck me out. I know I’m not the easiest person to get to know. A teacher actually wrote that on my second-grade report card: ‘Joy isn’t very easy to get to know, but once she opens up, I’m sure her personality will shine.’ She was always pissed at me because I never brought in anything for show-and-tell. Some people just don’t want to bring something from home and tell twenty blank faces all about it, you know?”

  Rebecca laughed. It was one of the first personal things Joy had said about herself. “I have one of those report card zingers, too.”

  Joy glanced at Rebecca for a moment. “So, I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed kind of down lately. Man trouble?”

  Rebecca almost burst into tears—at the sisterliness and at the thought of Theo. “Theo broke up with me because I was still with Michael, and I broke up with Michael because we don’t belong together anymore, but I don’
t know if I messed up too much with Theo. I miss him so much, but I don’t know if he’ll take me back now.”

  Joy topped off Rebecca’s wine, and it was as good as Ben & Jerry’s and a box of tissues. Better, actually. “Why don’t you go find out? You’re good at not giving up, remember?”

  Rebecca laughed. “I am, aren’t I.”

  “Oh, I almost forgot,” Joy said. “I have something for you.” She pulled out a brochure for the University of Southern Maine. “I took Rex to one of the kiddie shows at the planetarium in Portland today, and since it’s right on the USM campus, I stopped in the admissions office to ask for brochures on counseling programs for you. Did you know they have several types of programs? You could become a therapist, a marriage counselor, anything you want. You should look into it.”

  Rebecca couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so touched. And not just because Joy had thought of her, but because she was very clearly telling her that she should continue to stick around these parts. “Thank you.”

  “This seems the kind of thing a sister would do, right?” Joy asked.

  “It does,” Rebecca said, feeling like she might cry.

  By the time Harry and Rex came home, Joy and Rebecca were marveling at how they had absolutely nothing in common (except for certain foods, like pizza and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches) and would have to just come up with things neither had done so they could discover together whether or not they liked them. Like fishing. And knitting.

  “Mommy!” Rex said, flinging himself at Joy. She scooped him up into a hug, and he stared at Rebecca, his tiny dimples popping. “And hi, Becca!”

  “That’s right, I’m Rebecca,” she said with a smile and a tickle on Rex’s smiley face T-shirt. Rex dashed over to his little table, upon which was half a Lego tower, and he began stacking the brightly colored blocks.

  “That’s your nephew,” Joy said. “I’ll start using the words aunt and sister in relation to you, and he’ll just pick it up naturally.”

  Rebecca looked over at Rex, her nephew, and again felt that surge of emotion for him. She felt it for everyone in the house, including her father, whose heart—a piece of it, anyway—had been captured and hung on the hallway wall.

  “And you’ve got yourself a brother-in-law,” Harry said, coming into the room. He poured a glass of wine for himself and raised it Rebecca. “I don’t want to get too heavy into a discussion while Rex is still up, but I’ve been thinking about everything, too, Joy. If you want to turn down the money, I’ll understand. We don’t have the money now and we can’t miss what we don’t have. This is your history and your past, and maybe I’ve been trying to get you to think and act in a way that would make life easier for me. That’s not fair. So I want you to take me out of the equation about the money. You do what seems right to you.”

  Joy jumped up and hugged him. “I already told Rebecca I’ll accept the money. I’m going to give my mother half. I think that’s fair.” She paused, then said. “Do you?”

  Harry wrapped his arms around her. “Yeah. More than fair. I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” she said.

  All this love was making Rebecca miss a certain tall, blond, and handsome man. “I think that’s my cue to go. Thanks for dinner, Joy. And thanks for … everything.”

  Joy walked her to the door and held it open. “Oh, and I’ll take that box of letters. I’m not so sure I’ll read them right away. But I’ll be ready to one of these days.”

  Hear that, Dad? Rebecca said silently. She felt something ease inside her chest, something she hadn’t realized was still there until the dull heaviness of it was gone. She touched her hand to her heart and smiled. “I’ll bring them by tomorrow.”

  “Or, I could get them when I come pick you up the day after tomorrow to show you the farm I’ll be working at starting next Monday.” Joy’s brown eyes lit up. “I’ve signed on for two mornings a week while Rex is in preschool. I’ll be grooming the Beltie bulls and starting on something of an internship program.”

  “Congratulations!” Rebecca said, thinking she’d finally have a good use for her cowboy boots.

  “Not that I’m parking the Love Bus for good or anything. I’ll be doing a tour a month for the Bitter Exes. Unfortunately, that club is going to keep me in business. Pick you up at nine, nine fifteen?”

  Rebecca thought of Ellie and Maggie and Lucy and Darren. Exes, but not bitter. Just some wonderful people trying to make sense of something that involved the heart and the head—and every other body part. Just like everyone. “Nine-ish the day after tomorrow is perfect,” she said, then headed down the impatiens-lined path. As she was about to get into her car, Joy called her name.

  “Welcome to the family, Rebecca.”

  Rebecca smiled. “You too.”

  Rebecca went straight to Theo’s, but the house was dark. She sat on his porch steps for at least an hour, but he never did come home.

  “I’m free and clear,” she said to the stars. “So where is he?”

  Please don’t let me be too late, she prayed to the universe. Please, please, please.

  She sat there for another twenty minutes, feeling like a stalker, then walked over to Mama’s, where he often took his grandmother for the Early Bird special, even though it was past ten and Mama’s was closed. Arlene sometimes stayed open late for her regulars. But Mama’s was dark, too.

  When her doorbell rang the next morning, Rebecca rushed to answer it, then realized it wouldn’t be Theo. He wouldn’t come to her. He’d made that clear.

  She opened the door to find Joy and her mother standing there. Rebecca gasped; the two of them on her doorstep was just so unexpected. Pia Jayhawk smiled as if she understood and extended both hands, and when Rebecca put out her own, Pia clasped them. For a split second, Rebecca saw Pia as she must have been twenty-six years ago, alone and pregnant on the beach in her fingerless gloves and shredded layered tank tops, clutching the rock that had started it all. But it was truly momentary; when Rebecca blinked she saw a beautiful and strong woman who’d raised a child alone.

  Joy, who looked happier and lighter than Rebecca had ever seen her, said, “Rebecca, this is my mother, Pia Jayhawk Montenegro. Mom, this is Daniel Strand’s daughter, Rebecca.”

  “Hello, Rebecca,” Pia said, her voice full of warmth. “It’s very nice to meet you. I know we met at Joy’s the other weekend, and believe it or not, my first thought when I came upon you looking at the painting of Daniel was that you were his daughter. But then I said to myself, ‘Don’t be silly, Pia, what would Daniel Strand’s Rebecca be doing in Joy’s house?’ I mean, what was the likelihood of that, even though I saw the way you were looking at the painting of him. But between that and the way you were watching me—and the strong resemblance, of course—I truly wondered.”

  Rebecca smiled. “I had a feeling you knew, but I wasn’t sure.” She opened the door wider. “Would you like to come in and have some coffee?”

  “Actually, we’re running a bit late for my appointment for my dress fitting for my vows renewal,” Pia said. “But when Joy told me everything late last night, I wanted to stop by and see you first thing. Just to tell you how very glad I am that you came into Joy’s life. It’s something I’ve always hoped for.”

  “My father, too,” Rebecca said. “I hope that’s all right to say.”

  Pia nodded. “Of course it is. Joy shared his final letter with me. I was glad to know that. Very glad.”

  “Good,” Rebecca said, letting out a deep breath. “This is all so new for all of us.”

  “Maybe you can meet us for lunch in town later,” Joy said.

  Rebecca beamed. “I would love to.”

  After a very lovely lunch with Pia and Joy (they’d talked about the upcoming vows-renewal ceremony, the second-honeymoon plans, and current events—there had seemed to be an unspoken understanding that they had all the time in the world for discussing the one big thing they all did have in common), Rebecca picked up the makings of Theo
’s favorite dinner—he loved a good tuna steak—and rushed home to doll herself up. Her grand plan was to arrive unannounced at his door with her bag of groceries and an apology and an “I love you.”

  Because she did. Of all the things she knew for sure, she knew that most of all.

  Not that she had any idea if he’d be home tonight. Or if he was with one of those women he’d mentioned he saw from time to time. Or if she’d ruined things between them.

  She put on her red wrap dress and black T-strap heels and a light spritz of Chanel No 19, then grabbed her bag of groceries, promised Charlie a doggie bag, and headed out the door.

  Straight into Theo Granger’s chest. He stood on the porch, looking gorgeous as always, his dark brown eyes intense on her.

  Second gasp of the day.

  “I was just going to see you,” she said, clutching the brown paper bag.

  “And here I am. My busybody neighbor, Mrs. Finnegrew, told me that a young lady was sitting on my porch for hours last night. You?”

  “Me.”

  “That’s a long time to sit on a porch. You must have had something important to tell me.”

  “I did. I do. I’m free and clear, Theo.” She gasped for the third time. That was what she knew most of all. She was free and clear.

  He smiled that smile that had taken her breath the very first time she saw him. “I’m very glad to hear that, Rebecca.”

  “And since I’m going to buy this place, I was wondering if I could hire you to build a small deck.”

  “On the house.” He took the bag of groceries and set it down on the little rocking chair, then picked her up in his arms and kissed her in the glow of the pink and red setting sun.

  READING GROUP GUIDE

  • • •

  THE SECRET OF JOY

  MELISSA SENATE

  BOOK SUMMARY

  In Melissa Senate’s sweet and sentimental eighth novel, twenty-eight-year-old Rebecca Strand is about to lose her father and be left alone in the world without a family. But her father makes a confession on his deathbed—that he had a secret affair twenty-six years ago and Rebecca has a half sister named Joy that neither she nor anyone else has ever known about. Shocked by her father’s infidelity and secrecy, Rebecca is determined to find her sister and make up for Daniel Strand’s abandonment of his second daughter. She leaves New York City, her job, and her boyfriend behind and heads to Maine to track down the only family she has left. But when Joy doesn’t exactly welcome her with open arms, Rebecca must look within herself to discover the meaning of the word sister, and to figure out what she wants out of life and where her future lies.