Dearest Cowboys Box Set

by Mia Brown

  The bottle slipped to the side and moved when the calf pumped it with its muzzle.

  “It’s okay,” I said softly and let myself into the stall. I kneeled next to Vanessa and sat down, feeding the calf. She sighed and moved in her sleep so that she was against me more than against the hay.

  And I didn’t hate it.

  I watched her. She was beautiful when she slept, her long lashes against her cheeks and her face looking impossibly young. Her blonde hair was tied back, but wisps had escaped and framed her face, and she was beautiful. I reached out to touch her but stopped myself. I didn’t want to wake her, and it was plenty just to watch.

  The calf finished the milk and the day had to move on. I couldn’t sit and watch Vanessa sleeping all day. I got up, taking care not to wake her yet, and moved the calf into a stall of her own. She would have to be fed by one of us for a while until we could figure out something else. It was always a pain when heifers rejected their calves.

  When I was done, I walked back to the stall and gently shook Vanessa by the shoulder. She jerked away and looked around on the hay.

  “Don’t worry; I took her to her stall. You did well.”

  She blinked at me with sleepy eyes.

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  I sighed. “Time for me to apologize. I was rude last night. I was tired and in a bad mood, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

  Vanessa nodded. “It’s okay.” She pushed herself up and stretched. I took in the sight of her slender body, stretched out and on display. God, the things I would do to her.

  I pushed the thoughts away and cleared my throat. “How about breakfast and coffee? You’ve earned it.”

  “That sounds fantastic,” she said. “I could really do with a cup of coffee and a shower.”

  My mind went wild before I stopped myself.

  “Come on,” I said, and we left the barn, heading toward the main house.

  “This is a beautiful ranch,” Vanessa said as we walked. “I can see why you take so much pride in it.”

  I nodded. “My granddad bought it when it was only an uncultivated piece of land. He got it at a bargain price. He built everything with his family, and it’s been passed down ever since. It’s a family thing.”

  “That’s special,” Vanessa said. I nodded. It was special. I had wanted to leave it all behind, which sounded more and more like a mistake, but I’d had my reasons.

  “I can see why you guys sacrifice everything for this place, working through the night, doing what needs to be done to make it happen. There’s no space for snobbery here.”

  I glanced at her. She was right, but she surprised me. I had pegged her wrong, I realized.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “For what?”

  I’d meant for judging her, for jumping to conclusions about her, but I wasn’t going to say that.

  “About last night.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “Stop apologizing. Besides, it’s my job now, right? It’s not a big deal.”

  We reached the front door, and I opened it, stepping back to let her walk in first.

  Eight

  Vanessa

  I wiped my feet on the welcome mat and walked into the house. The smell of bacon greeted me and perked me right up. There was nothing as delicious as the smell of bacon.

  “That smells great, Mom,” Ace said when he walked in behind me. Jaclyn looked up and smiled.

  “How was the night?” she asked.

  I sat down at the large wooden table. It had benches all around, and it was clear this was where all the ranch hands ate their meals. Now, there were only a few of us, but the feeling of family and friendship hung in the kitchen, and I could imagine what it would have been like with more people around.

  “It was terrible,” Ace groaned, leaning against the counter. He had prepared five cups for coffee. “The heifer rejected the calf.”

  “I will never understand how a mother’s instinct can disappear like that,” Jaclyn said. “Moms who abandon their babies.” She shook her head.

  “But Vanessa got the calf to feed, so it ended well,” Ace said and smiled at me.

  Jaclyn turned to me. “You took care of the calf? That’s great, honey.”

  She put a plate of bacon on the table.

  “Eat, but not all of it; your brother will be back from town any moment. He’s bringing Alana with him.” The five cups made sense now.

  She returned to the stove and started making scrambled eggs, using a large skillet.

  I reached for the plate of bacon and took a piece, nibbling on it. Ace grinned at me. When the kettle boiled, he took it off the stove and poured the boiling water into the cups until the smell of coffee joined the smell of bacon, and the morning was complete.

  The front door opened again, and Andrew and Alana came in.

  “Morning,” Alana said. She looked at Ace, smiling. I watched her as she hugged Jaclyn before she walked toward Ace. She liked him, I could tell. I hadn’t noticed it yesterday, but today she was all smiles and batting eyelashes. He didn’t seem to notice.

  Jealousy crept in before I shoved it away. If something happened between them, why shouldn’t it? They had grown up together, and it wasn’t like I was interested in anything with him. Even though he was damn hot and turned out to be a nice guy under that bad boy facade.

  Alana and Andrew sat down at the table as well. Jaclyn put the last of the food on the table and joined us. We ate, drank coffee, talked about the ranch.

  Andrew and Ace were at each other the way brothers were, and Alana joined in, making jokes and ripping into them. It wasn’t hard to see the dynamic between the three of them, and I had a feeling this was something that had been happening for years. I looked at Jaclyn, who was smiling, eating quietly, watching them.

  It was so different from what I’d grown up with. Everything in my life had been about etiquette, about what was right and wrong and how to behave. Image had been so important my whole life. It was hard to relax and be myself. When I watched Andrew, Alana, and Ace, I envied them their ability to be themselves, and the pure freedom that came with it.

  I looked at Jaclyn again. There must have been a time when she had been able to join in on the jokes. I could see her enjoying it, but she was tired. Her eyes were drooping, and whatever was wrong with her—I hadn’t asked—was taking a toll on her.

  And that made me sad. She was a beautiful woman, and this was a beautiful life. She was surrounded by people that loved her and cared for her. To have to tap out early seemed like a terrible thing.

  She caught my eye and smiled at me. I smiled back. It took a kind of strength that not a lot of people had for someone to accept their fate the way Jaclyn had. I hadn’t been around for very long, but since the moment she’d told me, I’d been watching her. She was kind and friendly, and she never seemed to be bitter about her fate.

  Even when she told me it had been a fact, it hadn’t been something to mope about. It was beautiful to see how she handled it.

  But I could tell she was heartbroken to leave her sons behind. She watched them as they bantered with the look of a mother that had to set her children free when she wasn’t ready.

  It was a shame that such a solid family would be ripped apart. I had never cared for my family, had never felt like our bond was unbreakable. The moment you started worrying about what others thought of you, family ties became weak. But in this family, everything was real. The relationships were so genuine I ached for them, knowing they were going to lose one of theirs.

  Of course, from what I’d been told, Ace’s dad had passed away a couple of years ago. They had dealt with heartbreak and loss before. This wasn’t the first time they had to deal with pain. But being familiar with loss didn’t make it any easier, and I felt deeply for them.

  It was a privilege to see how they were together, but with the pain that was to follow, a tiny part of me wished I hadn’t met any of them at all.

  When we were done
with breakfast, we headed out again. Ace and Andrew had something to take care of, Alana stayed to help Jaclyn clear up, and I headed to the bunkhouse for a shower. The showers weren’t communal the way I had dramatically envisioned it when I’d arrived. A row of shower stalls lined one side of the bathroom, and I stepped into one, letting the hot water run through my hair and over my body.

  When I was done, I walked to the barn to check on the calf. It was up and about and excited to see me. I had never been an animal person, but having a cutie like this be glad to see me was great.

  “Hey, little bum,” I said, holding out my hands. The calf started sucking on my fingers, and I giggled. “You’re a sweetheart, aren’t you? A real sweetie.”

  The calf was white with brown patches.

  “In fact, I think I’ll call you Cookie. Because you’re a sweetie, aren’t you?”

  I pulled my fingers out of its mouth and stroked its nose before leaving the barn to look for Jaclyn and Alana. I found them in the vegetable garden, talking about produce.

  “We’re expecting a good amount this season,” Alana said, and Jaclyn nodded.

  “I think we should start planting over here,” Jaclyn said, pointing. “Vanessa, we’re going to start with a new batch of tomatoes. We’ll also take what we already have in the pantry and start canning. Andrew will drive a load into town for us at the end of next week.”

  I nodded. I was ready to learn. This wasn’t what I had ever seen myself doing, but I was enjoying myself, to my surprise. Alana took over and explained seasonal plants to me. We had to plant certain things now because of the weather and others only later.

  “I’m running into town now to pick up the new labels,” she said to Jaclyn.

  “Vanessa and I will finish up,” Jaclyn said. Alana nodded and walked to me.

  “Keep an eye on her, okay?” she said in a low voice before she left.

  Jaclyn carried on explaining a few things, pulling a plant out of the ground to show me exactly how it should look. When she kneeled again to put down the plant she’d removed, she nearly lost her balance.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, reaching for her to help her up.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Just a little tired.”

  She looked terrible. Her eyes were drooping, and she looked like her legs were going to give in any minute. Her skin was pale with a light sheen of sweat.

  “Come on, let’s get you to the house,” I said. I took her arm and guided her toward the main house, and she didn’t fight me on it. I helped her to her bedroom and tucked her in like you would with a child.

  “Is there anything I can get you? Medication? What do you take when this happens?” I asked.

  “Just a bit of water,” she said. “There’s not much else that can be done. I’ve used up too much of my energy. I have so little these days.”

  I nodded and ran to fill a glass of water for her. When I came back, Jaclyn’s eyes were closed. I crept quietly closer, scared to wake her if she was sleeping. I put the glass carefully on the table. She looked so frail and weak like this, her eyes and cheeks sunken and her skin pasty. Her chest wasn’t rising and falling. I put my hand in front of her nose to check that she was still breathing.

  I was suddenly terrified of her dying.

  When I was sure she was okay, I left the house. I headed to the barn, feeling horrible about what I’d seen. Dying was ugly, no matter how positive you were about it.

  I found Ace and Andrew in the barn trying to change the tire on a tractor. Ace was on the floor beneath the tractor, only his legs sticking out, and he was swearing, producing a string of colorful words. Andrew saw me and grinned at me.

  “Fucking piece of shit won’t budge,” Ace said before he shimmied out from underneath the tractor. When he saw me, he shook his head.

  “If you don’t announce yourself, you’re going to see and hear things around here you might not want to.”

  I chuckled. “It looks like you guys need a bit of help. What can I do?”

  I walked closer. Ace glanced at Andrew, and something unrecognizable passed between them.

  “Will you get us water?” Ace asked. “Please.”

  I nodded and walked out of the barn again. There were bottles of water in the bunkhouse fridge, and I grabbed two before heading back to the barn. I handed it to the boys, and they stopped their work for a moment to drink.

  “How many workers usually stay in the bunkhouse?” I asked.

  “We have 10 beds in there. Sometimes when we need the extra help or when there’s an emergency, the guys from town stay over, so we have almost 20 in all, some on the floor in sleeping bags. At least five of our regulars travel from Odessa,” Ace explained.

  “That’s a lot of people,” I said. “Where are they all, now?”

  The two brothers looked at each other again.

  “They come in for the harvest and when we need to get the cows ready for auction. We don’t need that much help earlier in the year. They’ll come in around June.”

  I nodded. There were things they weren’t telling me, but I was the new girl. It was understandable if there were things I didn’t have to know. I wished they wouldn’t keep looking at each other like I couldn’t tell they were saying things about me, too.

  Nine

  Ace

  The day was long and hot, and I had missed a chance to eat lunch. It was only spring, but the sun was scorching today, and I was drenched in sweat. There was so much left to do, too.

  Andrew and I had been working on the tractor until we’d fixed that damn tire, and then I had ridden out again to check on the heifers. After that, I had checked on the calves. They were doing well, and we would be able to take them to the auction in the fall. Things were going well with the ranch, considering. We were doing the best we could, and right now, it seemed to be good enough.

  Sometime, that wouldn’t be the case, and I knew it. There would be a time when the hard work my brother and I put in wouldn’t cut it anymore. And then what would we do? I wanted to keep things the way that they were for my mom’s sake. She didn’t have long left, and it was my dream that she experienced the ranch the way it used to be when we grew up when my dad was still alive.

  I wanted her last while to be perfect.

  I thought about what Vanessa had asked about the ranch hands. Back in the day when my dad had run the place, we had help on the ranch all year round. Even when Andrew and I had become old enough to help. How everything had changed since then.

  Maybe it was a good idea to get more help around the ranch again. If we were going to make something of it, we had to work harder. There was only so much Andrew and I could do with the few men that I did get to help us out.

  And at some point, they were going to know that my mom was sick, that the ranch would lose another owner and finally go to Andrew and me, after all. It was pointless trying to avoid gossip.

  I walked around the main house to the hose at the back and opened the tap. Water spurted out of the house, creating a puddle in the mud. I bent over and poured it over my head, letting the cold water soak my clothes. It was such a relief. I shook my head, and the water splashed from my hair in a spray around me.

  I brought the hose up to my mouth and drank. The water was ice cold despite the hot day, and there was nowhere else on earth that the water tasted quite the way it did at the ranch. These were the things that brought the place to life. The taste of the water, the smell of the trees when the wind blew just right, and the feel of the sun burning down on my skin.

  Why had I ever thought I could leave this place behind and not look back? Now that I was here again, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

  I wished everything else would work out. That my mom wasn’t sick. I wished that my dad was still around, that I didn’t have to work myself to death. Sometimes I wanted a break.

  Someone kicked over a bucket, and when I turned around, Vanessa stood at the corner of the house, frozen, staring at me. The bucket she’d kicked over
rolled to a stop at her feet. But she didn’t look down.

  I looked down at what she was looking at, and I noticed that my wet white shirt was see-through. A lot see-through. I chuckled and looked up at her.

  Now, this was something I knew. I knew how to handle women, how to read them, and even though everything around me was falling apart, this was familiar.

  I had no idea she felt that way about me, either. I had had dirty thoughts about her, sure. I’d noticed her body, but she had seemed completely uninterested. Something about it had made her that much more interesting.

  This, though, was a wonderful turn of events. In fact, seeing the way she looked at me went straight to my dick. It hardened in my pants, and I was wired, craving release. Maybe this was the break I’d needed. I hadn’t fucked someone since before final exams, and I was stressed out. A distraction—one that came in the body that stood opposite me—was exactly what I needed.

  I motioned her over with my head. I wasn’t sure if she would do it. I willed her to come to me. She looked around her as if she was deciding, but she took the first step forward, and then another and another. She was shy, I could tell, but she was coming to me. Her eyes were on mine, her lips parted, her hands loose at her sides.

  She stopped in front of me, and I looked her up and down. She wore a tank top that traced her form perfectly, tight jeans—faded and ripped, nothing like what she’d worn when she arrived—and I wanted nothing more than to strip her of her clothes and make her mine right there.

  I lifted my hand and touched her hair, running my fingers through it. When I put my hand on her cheek, she leaned slightly into me, acceptance, not rejection.

  With my hand on her cheek, I kissed her. I wrapped my other hand around her waist and pulled her against me. The length of her body pressed up against mine, dampening her clothes. The hose was still running, and it wet our feet. I didn’t care. I kissed her like I hadn’t kissed anyone before. I kissed her like my life depended on it; I needed the release. I needed something familiar because I needed to know that I was still my own person. Most of all, because I liked her.