Dearest Cowboys Box Set

by Mia Brown

  “Are you sure? Because you know that it’s part of my job to listen, don’t you? I’m basically a therapist.”

  “How do you work that out?” I decided to humor him rather than sit alone and stew.

  “Because people talk to me about everything. That’s a big part of what we do here. I’m an anonymous face, a listening ear, easy to speak to because I’ve always heard worse so I’m not in any position to pass judgement.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at that explanation. Plus, I’d had a couple to drink and since speaking to Ruby that one time, I always found that liquor made it easier to finally get the words out.

  “Fine, I broke up with someone before I could get hurt, and now… well, now I think it was a mistake.”

  “Hmm, okay. That sounds complicated… but there must have been a good reason you broke up with this person.”

  “Yeah, because we weren’t meant to be together.” I shrugged. “It was all a mistake.”

  “Well, then if it was all a mistake, then why are you worried about it? It sounds like a good thing.”

  I pulled my cell phone from my bag and stared at the screen, debating whether or not I should just call him already. Every time I thought about Alex, all I wanted to do was hear his voice again. Was it really such a crime to just listen to him speak? To maybe just say hey and see if perhaps we could just be friends now…

  But I knew that I couldn’t be friends. Not with him. Not when I still felt like this. I was still far too in to him, I could never just stand anywhere near him and not fall apart. Time had done nothing to dissipate the love.

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head sadly. “I don’t know what is wrong with me.”

  “I wouldn’t worry too much. I get too many girls in here in your position. Lost over some bad boy who doesn’t give a shit about them and is only interested in breaking hearts. You aren’t alone…”

  “Thing is he wasn’t really like that. I don’t think so anyway.”

  I slid my eyes closed for a moment, remembering his face when he was on the TV telling the world that he was in love with me. He really did seem scarily serious which freaked me out at the time, but now just made me feel like a complete idiot for not seeing it for what it was. A chance to be damn well happy already.”

  “But love is a lie, isn’t it?” I asked the bar tender. “It isn’t a real thing. The people who are supposed to love you always end up betraying you. That’s just how it works, isn’t it?”

  “Well, I’m in love, so I don’t know if I can agree with that. I’m actually getting married soon.”

  Of course he was. With a sarcastic eye roll, I turned away from the bar and I scanned my eyes around the bar. I couldn’t deal with some asshole who had his love life all sorted out. Not while I was in this mood.

  “Hello.” My attention was suddenly grabbed by a man to my left. “Don’t I know you?”

  I stared at him, my eyes running over his face, trying to work out if I did know him. But he wasn’t sparking any kind of familiarity in me at all. He was just a generic guy in a business suit.

  “No, I don’t think I do know you. Where do you think we have met?”

  As he leaned on to his side and he stared at me, I realized that this was just a line. “I don’t know, but you have a familiar face. Are you an actress or something? I swear I have seen you.”

  “Well, I am a model. You might have seen one of my campaigns.”

  “Of course you are. With a beautiful face like that, how could you not be a model.”

  I laughed and darted my eyes downwards, needing the confidence boost these words gave me. “Thank you. You aren’t too bad yourself.” I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Are you a model too?”

  “Oh no, I work in finance. Nothing as exciting as modeling. You must really love it.”

  “Oh, I do. It’s great. It’s everything that I have ever wanted and more. It’s the best.”

  Why did it sound like I was lying? Like I didn’t like my job at all? Of course I loved it. God, I needed to get my head out my ass and just focus on this man. He was attractive and intelligent, maybe not the guy that I was going to marry, but a guy that I could have a nice evening with. That was all I wanted, wasn’t it?

  “That’s good to hear. I bet it’s wild as well. You hear all of these things about models, are they all true?”

  “What, like, all the parties and things? Oh yeah, they are very true. It’s crazy.” Just because I didn’t so much go to the parties, it didn’t mean they didn’t happen. “It’s a lot of fun… not much sleep though.”

  “Oh well, you can sleep when you are dead, can’t you?” He smirked and brushed his hand over my arm. It felt nice to be touched but it wasn’t an electrical sensation. Not like I got with Alex… not that I was thinking about Alex anymore. He was done, in the back of my mind, nothing for me to worry about. Gone, over, done.

  “Hmm exactly. So, do you get a lot of sleep working in finance?”

  “Oh, it’s so boring that it puts me to sleep easily.” He laughed. “I don’t have that issue.”

  “Is that why you head out to bars for entertainment? You need some fun?”

  “Mmm, maybe.” He stepped closer to me, almost as if he was about to kiss me. “Why? Are you up for fun?”

  My heart stopped beating. I did want fun. That was why I kept coming to these bars and almost picking up guys. I mean, that was the whole point, wasn’t it? This was supposed to be the time that I actually went through with it. So, why did the desire feel more like sheer fucking panic than anything else?

  “I… I am up for fun…” I stammered. “I… I think I am…”

  Nope. My body didn’t want anything to do with this. It bolted up from the seat and knocked over my drink as it did. Some of it spilled over him which made him jump backwards. “What the hell?”

  “Sorry, I just… I need to get out of here. I can’t be here…” I could hardly breathe. My throat hurt.

  “Why not? What’s going on? Why are you acting weird?”

  “This is all a mistake. I just…” Fuck, now the walls were closing in on me. I couldn’t hack it. I was in a state of panic, dizzy with fear, if I didn’t get some air in to my lungs soon, I would collapse. “I have to go, sorry.”

  I raced towards the door, clutching my bag between my fingers as I did. Tears that I couldn’t really explain streamed down my face. I wasn’t crying over that man, I sure as hell wasn’t crying over Alex since he wasn’t in my life anymore, I was just sad. Sad about the state of my freaking life. Sad about hanging out in bars trying to find guys when deep down I knew that I was never going to sleep with. Trying to get a man out of my system who was probably stuck there forever. It was stupid. I needed to make some serious changes.

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  It was Rebecca. Not who I really wanted to talk to, but I couldn’t ignore her. She would probably have more information about another job coming my way and I didn’t want to miss out. I sucked in a couple of deep breaths, trying my hardest to calm myself down, and I hit the answer button.

  “Hello, Rebecca. How is everything going?” I tried to hide any emotion from my voice, but it wasn’t working.

  “Good, good. How are you? Where are you? I can barely remember these days.”

  “Washington,” I reminded her. “But I’m flying back to Chicago tomorrow morning.”

  “Right, right. I remember now. Of course. Well, what I’m calling you about is work related, but more of a networking event than a job. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?”

  It didn’t really. I hated the networking events, making small talk over champagne with people I hardly knew, but they were a necessary evil, so I had to at least hear out what it was. “Sure, tell me all about it.”

  “It’s a charity event in Denver. Lots of very special people are going to be there.”

  “Right.” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Okay, people I should meet. That
sounds… yeah. Great.”

  “Yes, exactly. Lots of Hollywood rich types. The people who can take your career to another level again.”

  Another level? There was further that I could go. I liked the idea of that. That gave me something else to focus on. If I had more to do in my career then I couldn’t get too worked up about Alex, could I?

  “Okay, yeah, that sounds good.” A party was a good idea. Since I was trying to get myself a distraction, what could be better than this? “Where did you say it was, in Denver?”

  “I sure did. If you plan to go, I will email you all the details later on. Flight tickets as well.”

  “Perfect, thank you so much. I look forward to hearing all about it.”

  I headed towards the nearest cab, needing to go back to the hotel to get some sleep before my flight in the morning. My head was a mess, I couldn’t believe what a state I kept getting myself in to. I needed to stop doing that. No more going to bars for random men, no more thinking about the past. This party was going to have to be the start of my next chapter. Not the end of my story for sure, but the next part of my life. Right now, I needed that.

  Twenty-Nine

  Alex (a few days later, late January)

  “This is crazy,” Kenzie whispered to me, sounding a little nervous and clutching to me tighter. “Alex, this is so much. How are we supposed to hang out at this party tonight? I’m not going to fit in.”

  She was actually shaking. Her poor body was trembling with terror. I couldn’t help but wonder if she regretted wanting to come to a fancy party because it wasn’t quite like a fairy tale. It was more filled with fear and stuck up snobs looking down on other people. That was the real life of the fancy glittery parties.

  “Don’t worry,” I laughed, trying to hide that I felt the same way. “You’ll be fine. I felt that way the first time that I came to an event like this, but it’s okay. People aren’t as stuck up as you think they’re going to be.”

  “Are you serious?” I could already tell that she didn’t believe me. “Because they sure look stuck up. They look like they would tear the dress off me like that princess who didn’t get to go to the ball and expose me for who I really am. They can smell that I’m poor and that I don’t really belong to them. They know it. They do.”

  “Okay, they are,” I admitted. “But there are also some nice people as well, so I wouldn’t worry too much. People who don’t care what your background is they just want to have a nice time with everyone.”

  That didn’t stop her from clinging tighter to me, her arm so tightly linked through mine that I thought we would have to have surgery to separate us. Even in her extremely expensive dress, she wasn’t comfortable. I wasn’t sure if anyone would really be able to tell that she didn’t belong. I more looked like this wasn’t my place.

  “Don’t worry,” I reassured her. “I am going to be with you the whole time. I won’t leave your side.”

  “But what if I need to go to the bathroom or something? You can’t be with me then.”

  I wrapped my arm tightly around her and laughed at her terror. I was sure that women’s bathrooms were the worst place in the whole world for bitchiness and arguing. I remembered someone telling me that once. Poor Kenzie was going to have to face that alone, there was no way I could go in there. But I would do what I could.

  “I will wait outside. Honestly, it’s fine, Kenzie. You will have a good time. You look so beautiful, just remember that. More gorgeous than any of the other woman in this place. That dress, your hair… it’s incredible.”

  “Well, you don’t look so bad yourself. I didn’t know that I would see the day you wore a bolo tie.”

  We laughed and walked down the red carpet together. A few people snapped pictures of us, but it wasn’t anything like the crazy attention that I got with Emily on my arm… thank goodness. Much as I agreed to come here with Kenzie, I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to be noticed for it. I only wanted the press to focus on my work now.

  “You’re good at this,” Kenzie hissed as we walked inside. “Wow, how much experience did you have with Emily? I know that you went to a couple of parties, but I didn’t realize that you could slot right in to this world.”

  I could see how overwhelmed she was, which wasn’t an emotion that I was used to in Kenzie. She was usually confident, the one who put me and Jeff to shame. I was really going to have to look after her.

  “Look, there are some drinks.” I grabbed a couple off the tray. “Here you go, this will calm you down.”

  She took one from me and almost drank the whole thing in one go. I figured there wasn’t much damage that I could do here at a charity event, so I matched her. We might as well have some fun while here.

  “Are there any other sports people here?” Kenzie asked while looking around. “Anyone you know?”

  “You know I don’t really do people. Unless there’s a bull in tux, I probably don’t know them.” I shrugged and smirked. “And even if it is a bull, I probably won’t remember their name. You know what I’m like.”

  “Alex!” I barely got to walk around the building before the Hollywood director who invited me to this place caught me. “Good to see you, buddy, I’m glad you came. I have wanted to see you for a while now…”

  I gave Kenzie an apologetic look, but she wasn’t bothered as we got dragged in to a conversation. As another tray of drinks went passed, she grabbed two. She was going to enjoy herself no matter what. I just hoped that she didn’t enjoy herself too much because I didn’t think she’d like to be photographed in a gutter.

  “This is the guy that I’m going to make a movie of his life,” he announced top volume. “That’s still happening, by the way. I know that I haven’t been in touch about it, but I haven’t given up. Oh, and who is this lovely lady? Are you from the country also? Because I absolutely love it and I would love some recommendations…”

  The director took Kenzie under his wing and used his charm to lure her in to a conversation about the country. I could see her eyes glaze over, she was falling for this man just a little bit. He was much older than her and definitely not really her type, so I didn’t think that it would go anywhere, but he was helping her to relax.

  She is going to do just fine, I told myself confidently. This is going to be a really nice night.

  This was exactly what I needed. A night of fun to get over everything that had happened before. A fresh start. It really did feel like this night was major. The newest era in what I hoped would be a positive future.

  “Now, you are that Alex Fancy, aren’t you?” A giant hand rested on my shoulder. “I know you from the bull riding. I followed it with great interest. You see, I might not look like it tonight, but I grew up with the rodeo.”

  “Where are you from?” I asked as I shook his hand. “I recognize your accident.”

  “Wyoming, same as you, but now I have a ranch in Colorado. My name is Joel, by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you, Joel. Please tell me more about this ranch you have in Colorado.”

  Finally, I had someone who I shared something in common with, that was good. As Kenzie remained starry eyed as she talked to the director, who I was keeping an eye on just in case, I continually talked to my brand new friend, glad to have a nice face to talk to. This was going to make this night a whole lot easier.

  Finally, Kenzie grabbed my arm and she tugged me towards the bathroom. I guess she needed a break from all the fun. “Oh, my goodness,” she gasped excitedly to me. “This party is absolutely wild.”

  “I know, isn’t it. You look like you’re having the best time, but please tell me you aren’t falling for that guy.”

  “Oh no, he’s charismatic but really old. Not for me. I’m just having some fun.”

  “Good, because I don’t want to have to worry about you…” She gave me a look, silencing me. “Okay, okay, I get it. You have been worried a lot about me as well. But you don’t have to anymore.”

  “You doing good? You do look like you’
re doing a lot better, but is that just the Denver air?”

  I laughed out loud. “No, I’m good. I’m going to be happier now, I promise you.”

  She patted me on the arm, but I could see her facial expression change. “You know what, hold that thought. I have had far too much champagne and I need to go to the bathroom. We’ll talk about it in a moment.”

  She raced in to the bathroom, making me laugh once more. Actually, I was really freaking glad that we came here. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that it would be the best idea, but as long as Kenzie was having a good time that was all I needed to know. I wasn’t even sure that I needed to find someone to hook up with now. It wasn’t necessary. I could just have a laugh and go back to the hotel with Kenzie to talk about everything. She was bound to have a lot to say. It would also stop her from making any mistakes with any of the creeps here…

  “Oh my God!” Kenzie grabbed me again, dragging me with her. It seemed that I wasn’t going to have any control over myself right now. “I love this song. We need to go and dance. Sing too, it’s such a catchy tune…”

  She stopped as she realized that this wasn’t like a night club. People were doing proper dancing here, verging on ball room dancing, which I guess wasn’t what Kenzie wanted. Her disappointed face spoke volumes. If I was going to give her the full night that she wanted, the fairy tale as much as I could, then it was time to step up.

  “Come on. I thought you wanted to dance. What’s stopping you?”

  “I can’t do that sort of dancing and I don’t want to humiliate myself.”

  “You’ve seen Beauty and the Beast, haven’t you? We can dance like that.”

  “Which one will I be?” Kenzie teased while sticking her tongue out. “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  I tugged her arm and dragged her with me regardless. I placed her hands on my shoulders and mine on her hips. Kenzie remained looking at me like I had lost my freaking mind, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I moved my feet from side to side, almost in time with the music. At first, Kenzie was obviously unsure, but she eventually got a bit more in to it and we forgot about everyone else around us, having a laugh. It was almost like we were back at home in Wyoming and we were just acting the fool. That was where the pair of us were both comfortable.