Dearest Cowboys Box Set

by Mia Brown

  “Okay, then let me help you. I will do whatever you need me to do.”

  He got to work, helping me like crazy, doing more than I asked him too, while our daughter played with her grand parents. At least she had them as an influence in her life. I guess it was a good thing that my mother wasn’t around if she was back on drugs. The last thing that I would want would be for her to do the same to Alexis as she did to me. I accepted it when I was young because I didn’t know any different, but that wouldn’t happen again. No way. I was a lioness with it came to my daughter and I wouldn’t allow anyone to harm my cub. Even the idea of someone putting tears in her eyes made me want to growl and lash out.

  “Right, I’m ready to start taking the plates out now,” Alex commented. “Are you ready?”

  I sucked in a couple of deep breaths, trying to push my anxiety to one side, and I nodded. Every year my Thanksgiving meal got a little bit better and I hoped the pressure I put on my own shoulders hadn’t changed that.

  “I’m ready.” I grabbed some plates of my own. “Let’s do this.”

  “Oh, wow!” Alex’s mother gushed as the food spread out on the table. “This is amazing, Emily.”

  “Thank you,” I replied coyly as a blush filled my cheeks. “I hope it tastes good too.”

  Everyone dug in quickly, no one wanted to hang around, and soon, thankfully, they were all making noises like it was the best meal they had ever eaten. Whether this was just to make me feel better or not I wasn’t sure, but it worked. Alex gave me a reassuring thumbs up anyway, just to confirm that it was all good.

  “So, Emily,” Alex’s father started. “How is the fashion designing going?”

  Immediately my heart leapt in to my throat as the excitement inside of me built. This was something that I was so passionate about, even more so than the modeling and I loved talking about it. I often had to rein myself in, so I didn’t bore everyone. I needed to remember that not everyone was as in to clothes as I was.

  “I have had some great interest recently. I think some big brands will be buying up my designs.”

  “You should get them out after dinner,” Alex said with pride. “Everyone will love to see them.”

  I was a little scared when I first told him that I didn’t want to go back to modeling after Alexis was born. After all my ambition and need to get to the top, having a baby changed me and my priorities. I didn’t want the same thing anymore. The constant traveling and being away from my family, the pressure to look a certain way, the long and unpredictable hours… it was no longer my desire. But Alex was happy for me to live my own life, to do what I wanted to do, so when I shyly suggested that I might want to try and industry that I had only scraped the surface of, he was so supportive. He had Alexis while I did a training course, he stayed up with me all night when inspiration hit, he helped me to get the designs just right, never losing patience with my perfectionist side.

  It was taking its time, but I had a feeling that I would eventually get somewhere with it.

  “Maybe I will.” I smiled, trying to hide my nerves. “We’ll see how I feel.”

  “You should, Mummy. They are so pretty. Grandma will love them.”

  Alex’s mom smiled at me and nodded, encouraging me as well. It was so strange to have a family actually supported what I was doing, who gave a shit. I loved it but it was taking some time to get used to. I always got really worked up and nervous about it, but my anxiety had never been proven worth while.

  “And, Alex,” his dad continued. “What about you? You ever think about getting back on the bull?”

  “No way.” He shook his head hard, determination surging through. “I have thought about it non stop after my second world championship, and I am done. I’m happy here, working on the ranch and being here for my family. I have my own little rancher to train up.” He rubbed Alexis’s hair. “Plus, all the training I’m doing with Jeff.”

  He didn’t say it, but I knew the truth. He was happy and annoyed in equal measures about how well Jeff was doing. He thought that he was going to turn out to be an even better bull rider than he was. I didn’t agree, but he wasn’t that bothered anyway, so it didn’t matter. He really was so much happier at home.

  “I have told him to follow his heart,” I piped up, just wanting to be sure they didn’t think that I was the one keeping him here so that I could pursue my fashion design dreams. “He needs to do what he wants.”

  “But also…” Alex gave me a look. “Me and Emily want to have more children, so I want to be at home for them. I want to be around; you guys know that. And this makes me happier than anything else. This life. I don’t need the money, the celebrity, the endless stress. I just want to be here in my home town with my family.”

  As he said those words, my chest swelled with love. That was exactly how I felt as well. I had done the other stuff, the parties, the events, the glamor… and it wasn’t for me. I was a small town girl at heart. This was exactly the sort of place that I belonged. I needed to be here, living this life.

  “Yes, we are.” I reached across and held his hand. “And since the subject has just come up, I was going to say this later, but I figure I might as well say it now.” I almost giggled at everyone’s shocked faces. That was only going to get worse. “I found out this morning that I’m pregnant again, so I guess our family is going to get bigger once more.” We’d been trying, but we were always trying, every time we got a spare moment. This was awesome news though, exactly what we both wanted. “In about eight months time, there will be another face at this table.”

  There was a beat of silence before everyone cheered and congratulated me. Alex grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest so that I could feel his racing, happy heart.

  “I love you so much,” he muttered. “You have no idea.”

  A content, blissful feeling settled over me as I replied happily. “I love you too, Alex. I always will.”

  Cowboy’s Fake Marriage

  One

  Cassidy

  I played with the small horse pendant around my neck and chuckled. I was openly horse crazy, and it was clear just by looking at me that I was a cowgirl. I stood in front of the mirror now, assessing myself. I wondered what other people saw when they looked at me. I supposed they saw a girl who probably wished she was a boy, but that wasn’t true. I had never wanted to be anyone other than myself. I just so happened not to care about the same things that some of the other girls my age cared about.

  It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried before, because I had, but there was simply no point in dressing up when I spent all my time outdoors. There was nothing more ridiculous than a woman trying to climb up onto a horse in heels. Today I was wearing some old overalls that had probably seen better days, but they were so comfortable that I couldn’t bring myself to throw them away. I wasn’t going to win any fashion awards wearing them, but my horses didn’t care what I looked like. The only thing that mattered to them was that I fed them and kept them clean.

  The one thing I had going for me was that underneath the old overalls was a body fit from outdoor work. I had always been both petite and curvy, but I was also toned. I didn’t need to spend hours at the gym trying to get myself looking this way. I simply worked hard, and my body did it all by itself. It was just a pity that nobody would ever get to see me that way. Right now all they saw was a woman who could probably pass as a boy if you saw her from a distance.

  I chuckled and walked away from the mirror. I wasn’t too bothered. I wasn’t even sure why I was assessing myself so much. I hated to admit it, but every now and again I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone was ever going to look at me and be attracted to me. The other day someone had made a comment about the fact that I was almost 30, and I could tell from the look in their eyes that they thought I should make more of an effort. But what was I supposed to do? Just walk around in my pretty clothes in the hope that some handsome young man is suddenly going to come by and sweep me off my feet? I honestly cou
ldn’t be bothered. If someone didn’t like me for who I was, then I wasn’t sure I wanted to be with them anyway. I reached for my horse pendant and gave it a kiss. I had my horses; what else did I need?

  I was ready to start my day when I saw some mail sticking out from the mailbox. I went to retrieve it, figuring it was just a bunch of junk as it usually was, when I noticed that one of the envelopes looked different from all the others. For one, it was a lot fancier. This was not junk. It had my name written in calligraphy on the front, and I was just about to open it when I turned it around and saw who it was from. I groaned. If I was getting a letter from my cousin Rick, then it could only be one thing, and right now I wasn’t in the mood to open it. Out of all the similar letters I had received in the past two years, this was the one I was looking forward to the least, and the one I had really hoped wouldn’t ever arrive. I took all the mail inside, dumping everything that wasn’t relevant into the trash, and putting the newspaper and the letter from Rick onto the table.

  “That should bring the number up to 11. Eleven in two years? That’s too much. Simply too much,” I muttered as I paced around the house. Another event. Another reminder that everyone else seemed to be getting ahead in life except for me. “I’m a former champion barrel racer, for goodness’ sake,” I said to the empty room. “Isn’t that enough? I’ve done pretty well with my life. Thank you very much.”

  I stared at the envelope and shook my head. I wasn’t sure why I was talking out loud, or what I was trying to prove. There was nobody around to hear me grumble, so the only person I was trying to convince was myself. There was something quite sad about that thought. With a heavy sigh, I decided it was time to go out and feed the horses. If there was one thing I was very good at in life, it was procrastination. That was the one good thing about working on a horse farm; there was always something to be done, and finding ways to keep myself busy was always easy. I liked being busy. I couldn’t stand sitting around and doing nothing. When I took time to drink my coffee, or read my book, it was usually because I had worked hard to deserve some time off.

  I headed out and made my way to the stables. I liked owning my own horse farm, and I thought that was a pretty big deal for someone my age. But for some reason, people only thought you were doing well in life if you were married and had a litter of kids running behind you. I knew that I would only gain the respect I deserved when a man asked me to marry him. Apparently, nothing else really mattered in this world. I patted the mane of one of my oldest horses and smiled at him. He seemed impressed by what I had done, although I was probably making that up just to make me feel better about myself.

  “You love me, don’t you?” I asked him. Then I laughed. Was I really trying to get a horse to tell me that it loved me? I was clearly losing my mind. First, there was the conversation with myself, and now I was talking to the horses. This was not a good sign at all. Maybe I was getting old.

  After I fed the horses, I walked around the ranch doing some work, but it was clear that I was just avoiding the inevitable. Eventually, I decided to go in and open it. If I didn’t, it would simply stay on my mind. I washed my hands, downed a tall glass of water, then picked up the envelope with trepidation. I opened it up and pulled out the glossy pearl page from inside. My fears were confirmed: Rick was getting married, and this was yet another wedding invitation addressed to me. I wasn’t sure what was in the water lately, but everyone seemed to be getting married around me. The wedding was to be held at Rick’s family ranch in Wyoming, and I wondered briefly if I would be able to get out of it. After all, I had a valid excuse. Wyoming wasn’t around the corner, and I didn’t have much extra money lying around to splurge on hotels. The more I thought about the excuse, the better it seemed to get for me.

  Yes, I would just tell him that I didn’t have the money for it, and hopefully, he would understand. He’d be upset, but surely he couldn’t hold that against me. I could tell him that all my extra money went toward maintaining my horse farm, which wasn’t entirely a lie. I was sure I could afford the wedding, but he didn’t need to know that. Anyway, I could think of far better things I could do with the money.

  I was just about to call him when I noticed writing on the other side of the card. My heart sank when I saw the words that were written there. Rick had left a note saying that there were spare rooms available for close family, and that I was welcome to stay there free of charge. I would love to have you there, Cassidy. I stared at the words. I wasn’t even sure if he meant them, but I knew now that I couldn’t say no. I had to go.

  Also, I couldn’t risk offending my cousin. If I did, I would end up offending the whole family. That was simply how weddings went. If one person didn’t go, it would reverberate across the entire extended family, and instead of upsetting one person, it would end up upsetting everyone. It probably wasn’t worth that. A wedding was the most important day in the lives of the brides and grooms, but it was always the worst day for the guests.

  It was just such a pity that he was getting married to the one woman I couldn’t stand. At least if I liked his fiancée, it would’ve been okay, but the thought of fake smiling around the annoying Lara already made me feel exhausted. It wasn’t really the wedding itself that I hated so much, but rather the idea of having to give fake smiles to someone I didn’t like at all. And someone who had never liked me.

  Lara had never been my favorite person in the world. I’d grown up with her around me, and she’d bullied me in high school. I didn’t like her at all, and I had no idea what my cousin saw in her. Although she’d always been a ridiculous flirt who preferred men over women. The only way I could’ve gotten her to like me was to become a man, and that was never going to happen. The bullying had happened a very long time ago, but it was not something that I could easily forget. Something like that just never leaves you. In fact, it seems to stay with you forever, hiding under layers of insecurity that keep on growing because of it.

  I was simply going to have to go and hope that the whole thing went by at lightning speed. I would give everyone fake smiles, and I would make the most of all the free booze and food offered. If anything, that was the one thing that would make it all okay. I had a feeling that Rick and Lara were going to go all out to impress their guests, so hopefully, that was reflected in the food. I noticed that my invitation wasn’t just addressed to me. I was allowed a plus-one this time. But who would I bring? One of my horses? I pictured myself arriving on the back of a horse and chuckled. Lara would never forgive me for outshining her. Of course, I would never do this, but the thought amused me.

  If I wasn’t going to bring a horse, then who would I bring? I realized then that I didn’t want to go alone. This would be the 11th wedding that I had attended in two years, and for the first time, I wanted to go with someone. It didn’t have to be romantically, but the idea of having someone to talk to did make the whole thing feel better. Also, I was tired of arriving alone and having everyone look at me with such a pitiful look in their eyes. There was nothing worse than being pitied by your own family. Lara was probably expecting me to come alone too, and I simply couldn’t give her that sort of satisfaction. No, this time I would bring someone. I just had to figure out who would want to come with me. It wasn’t like I had a bevy of men lining up to date me.

  With a heavy heartt, I realized that I had not had a boyfriend for a very long time. Perhaps too long. Was I going to be alone forever? I just hoped that this was the last wedding invitation I would get for a while. Weddings were always a constant reminder that I had never been in love.

  Two

  Houston

  I jumped onto Marvin, one of my favorite horses, and went for a ride. I loved Marvin. I’d named him as such because when we’d first gotten him he was a weird-looking thing. He’d been neglected by his previous owner, and he was so skinny that it made his eyes look too big and alien-like. Marvin the Martian was the nickname I’d had for him, and it just stuck. He looked nothing like the horse he was a year ago. He was a b
ig fellow now, fitter and stronger than most and on a mission to prove himself. He was also very gentle with me, and I had a feeling that he simply felt thankful to me for saving him. I had such a soft spot for him and tried to take him for rides as often as possible.

  It was a beautiful morning to go out, still too early for the heat to settle, and so still. I loved mornings like this, although I wished I had gone out a little bit earlier. There was something about going out for a ride in the dark and watching the sun rise. That was what I had planned to do, but my bed had simply been too comfortable, and I’d slept in for an extra hour.

  I was on the edge of town now, not too far from my house, when I spotted someone else on a horse. I trotted closer and smiled when I saw who it was. Cassidy and I had grown up in the same area, and I knew that she loved horse riding as much as I did. She looked so lost in thought today that she didn’t seem to see me coming. When I got nearer to her, she seemed startled by my presence.

  “Houston? Hi. I didn’t see you there.”

  I smiled. “Hey, Cassidy. Yeah, you were lost in thought. How are you? Out for an early ride like me, I see.”

  “While the rest of the world sleeps,” she said. “Although, it’s not that early. I should’ve started at least an hour ago.”

  “I was thinking the same thing. I prefer going when the sun has just started to rise. There’s something special about being out at that time of the morning.”