Redemption (A Golden Beach Novel Book 5)

by Kim Loraine

  Michael clenched his jaw the whole way home, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror every few seconds to make sure Lena was still behind him. He wasn’t sure how to handle this. She’d been so skittish, so unsure of herself. Not at all like the confident woman he knew.

  It had begun raining, the drops of water catching the light of her headlights in his window. As he pulled his car around to the side of the house, he killed the engine and hit the button to open the garage door for her. Waving her forward, he waited to see if she’d take the space in the garage. She did.

  “You didn’t have to let me take your spot,” she said, as she climbed out of her car.

  Shrugging, he followed her inside and closed the door behind them. “It’s no big deal.”

  His stomach hurt from the tension of the moment. He hated the unexpected, but walking into this, knowing she was going to end it, was worse than anything he could imagine. The only sound in the dark house was the click of her shoes on the hardwood floor as she led the way into the kitchen. Without a word, she pulled two beers out of the fridge and twisted off the caps, then leaned against the counter top. He watched as she took a long pull from the bottle and handed him the other.

  With a grimace, she placed her beer on the worktop and turned to face him. “This is why I left.”

  Confusion drew his brows together. “Beer?”

  “No, dammit. You, me, the pull between us,” she said as she pushed off the counter and brought herself mere inches from him. “I can’t think clearly when we’re this close. I can’t think of anything other than how much I love you. It’s not fair. I know what the smart thing is, what my mom should have done, but I’m walking right into the same situation.”

  He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could he have not known the level of damage her dad had done when he’d walked out on them?

  “I’m not like your dad, baby.”

  Shaking her head, she ran one finger from his temple, along his jaw, and down his neck. A rush of arousal spread across his body.

  “You represent the same thing he did. Love is more than one small word. It’s an ocean of feeling that sends waves crashing into protective walls, breaking them down, changing everything to make way for it. It doesn’t care about what’s safe.”

  Without thinking, he reached behind him to set his beer on the island, missing the surface, and letting the bottle crash to the floor. He didn’t give a shit. He lowered his lips to hers, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her to him.

  What started tentative, turned heated as she lifted her shirt over her head, then ran her fingers through his hair. Tingles raced down his spine, making him groan against her mouth. Her hips pressed forward as her tongue slipped between his lips. She smelled like cookies, a warm vanilla sugar scent which made him want nothing more than to wrap himself around her and never let go.

  Breaking the kiss, he licked a path down her neck before nestling his lips in the valley between her breasts. Her skin was soft, smooth, and delicious. Everything he’d missed for so many months.

  “Baby, I’ve missed you so much.” His voice was hoarse, rough with desire, and he knew she liked it because of the soft moan she let out.

  “Bedroom,” she whispered.

  As she moved away, he caught her by the arm and scooped her off her feet. “Hang on. I want to be kissing you, some part of you, the rest of the night.”

  Dark desire filled her eyes and when she bit her bottom lip, he dropped his mouth to hers, tongue delving inside. Thank God the bedroom was close. His erection strained against the fly of his jeans, begging for attention. As he lowered her to the bed, he chuckled when her hands grasped the back of his shirt, pulling it over his head.

  “Skin to skin. It’s only fair,” she teased.

  “Except your skin is like velvet. Mine isn’t.”

  Her fingers played across the light spray of wiry hair on his chest. “It’s so fucking hot. So . . . masculine and strong.”

  Hearing those words fall from her lips made a surge of pride wash over him. He had her back. She was here, with him, under him, wanting him.

  “Lena,” he whispered in the quiet of the room. “I . . .” he had to clear his throat, and damn it, his heart was racing, palms sweaty. “I love you.”

  She closed her eyes, a slight tremble visible in her lower lip. Fear lanced his heart when a tear slid down her temple and into her hair. Her body went still beneath him, and he knew something was deeply wrong.

  Sitting back on his heels, he took her hand and pressed a gentle kiss inside her palm. “Baby, what is it?”

  To his dismay, she pulled her hand free and scooted away from him. “I’ve wanted to hear that from you, for so . . . so fucking long. But now? I think it’s too late.”

  She got off the bed and walked out of the room, leaving him confused beyond belief. Heart pounding, he followed her. When he found her in the kitchen, he didn’t know what to say. He’d just opened his heart to her, shared the most meaningful words he could have ever said, and she was rejecting him.

  “I don’t understand,” he said, his voice breaking.

  Pulling her shirt over her head, she kept silent, not making eye contact. As she brushed past him, he caught her by the elbow.

  “Tell me what the fuck just happened.”

  “I didn’t come here to fix things. I came here to get you out of my system. Now you say you love me? What am I supposed to do with that? I can’t let you break me.”

  Anger ignited in his chest. “You make me fucking crazy. I’m not going to break you. I’m going to love you. You’re my family.”

  Her eyes widened. “No. Kate and Mitchell are your family.”

  “Fuck, Lena! You’re so scared of getting hurt that you won’t listen. They’re not more important than you. You were fucking right. He’s not mine. He’s John’s. Are you happy now?” A soft gasp escaped her, and for a moment he thought he’d finally reached her. Taking her face in his hands, he continued. “You left. You were my anchor and you left me. Don’t you get it? You left me.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she pulled away. “So, what happens with Mitchell? That poor boy thinks you’re his daddy. He loves you.”

  Raking a hand through his hair, he sighed. “She took him. It’s done. She let me fall in love with him and then she ripped him away.” He kicked the side of the refrigerator in frustration. “Fuck! If anything, I should’ve been the one afraid of you. But, no. I fucking fell in love with you. You know what? You’re just like her. You and Kate. So, if it makes you happy, if this is what you really want, I’ll sign the damn papers. I can’t keep going back and forth like this. It’s killing me.”

  She didn’t say a word. She just stood there with a sad look on her beautiful face as he stalked over to the pile of papers littering the dining room table and snagged a pen. With a harsh slash across the documents, he shoved the divorce papers at her and walked away, out into the rain.

  Chapter 25

  Two weeks later, Michael hadn’t heard a word from Lena, or his lawyer. He stared down at the pale line of skin where his wedding band had been. He couldn’t believe he’d let her go. But as his mom had said time and time again, you can’t make someone see things the same way you do. Lena would never move past her fear of abandonment. He couldn’t spend his life trying to keep her if she didn’t want to be his. So, in an effort to move on, he had taken the ring off and tucked it away in the back of his sock drawer.

  His phone rang, the jarring tones of “Eye of the Tiger” blaring from his pocket. Shaking his head, he couldn’t fight his chuckle. Mitchell had changed all of his ringtones by accident, setting up random songs from his music library for each contact. Now he never knew what was going to happen when someone called.

  “Hello?” he answered.

  “Hey, Mike. You got
a minute?” Alex’s voice sounded strangely tight, causing alarm to set up residence in Michael’s head.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I’m at Mom and Dad’s. Can you come by for some coffee?”

  Fuck. Something bad was happening. Alex lived too far away for this to be a casual drop-by, and after Roxie had lost the baby, things just hadn’t been right. Clearing his throat, he ran a hand over his jaw. “Yeah. I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  Just one more thing to add to the growing shit pile.

  Pulling up to his childhood home, he braced himself for some sort of horrible news. He didn’t know how much more he could take.

  They were waiting for him, grim expressions on their faces as he settled himself on the flowery patterned couch in the living room.

  “What’s this all about?” he asked.

  “Honey, there’s been an accident.” His mom’s voice was light and cautious, as though approaching someone unpredictable and unstable.

  His gut clenched. Who? Everyone he cared about was in front of him . . . except for the one person he wanted most. “What do you mean?”

  “Kate . . . and Mitchell.”

  A cold stone settled in his chest. “What happened? Where is he?”

  “She’d been drinking. Crashed into a telephone pole.” His dad stood as he spoke and crossed the room. “Mitchell is fine. Just a few cuts and bruises. Kate’s in critical condition, but this is her third DUI in just over two years. She’s going to have to do time.”

  Anger took hold in his chest and squeezed. “Where is he?” he asked again, his words harsh and clipped.

  “Social services is bringing him here now.”

  Shaking his head, he gripped his thighs so hard his knuckles turned white. “He should be with me.”

  “We know. It’s just . . . we’re his legal guardians. Kate will be in jail for a minimum of six months. She might even lose custody. More than likely she’s going to be charged with child endangerment. Until the dust settles between you and Lena, we think it would be best he stay here. He’s going to need something stable.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” His vision blurred as hot tears burned his eyes. “He’s mine. I’m the only dad he knows. I’ve put aside the fact that my best friend, my own brother, screwed me over and stole the family I was supposed to have. I didn’t tarnish John’s precious image at the station, or in town. But I’m not letting the fact that Mitchell isn’t my blood keep me from being his father.”

  His mom took the empty seat next to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. “Honey. Give it a little time. We’ve got no problem with you being there for him, but right now he needs all of us. You’re not thinking clearly. How is he going to feel when you’re gone on shift? Let him stay here. Be here as much as you can. You can still be his dad if he’s living here. At least until we figure it all out.”

  “Mike, trust me. Mom’s right.” Alex’s gruff voice cut through Michael’s haze of frustration. “What Kate and John did was horrible, but you know Mitchell needs a stable family and you’re in the middle of a divorce. Roxie and I can’t take him. Things are . . . there’s a lot happening for us right now. Mom and Dad can give him the best of both worlds. You get to be his dad, no one is taking that away from you.”

  The doorbell rang before Michael could answer. Tension sat heavy in the room as his parents walked down the hall to answer the door. Soft murmured voices floated in the hallway, growing closer as he stood, waiting with his heart in his throat. Big brown eyes found his as soon as the group rounded the corner. A dark bruise had blossomed on Mitchell’s cheek. The sight made Michael’s throat constrict.

  “Daddy,” Mitchell said, his haunted eyes brightening as Michael crouched and opened his arms.

  The little boy broke away from the group and ran to Michael, crashing against his chest and wrapping around him.

  “Hey, buddy. I missed you so much.”

  His heart broke for his son. How could he explain this?

  “I promise I’m going to take care of you.” He held Mitchell and stood with the boy wrapped in his arms. “It’s you and me.”

  Lena used to think the worst feeling in the world was losing something. That moment when you know exactly where you dropped your precious cargo only to go back and have it be gone forever. As she sat at her computer, staring at the photos from Parker and Jason’s wedding, she realized that getting something you thought you wanted could be worse than any loss imaginable. The instant Michael cut her lose, signed those papers, and walked past, staring at her with a harsh coldness in his eyes, she knew leaving him had been a mistake.

  A takeout bag appeared in front of her, the smell of fried deliciousness rousing her from her wallow.

  “You need to eat something.” Hallie stood with her hands on her hips, a frown turning down the corners of her mouth.

  “I know. Thanks,” Lena said, opening the bag and pulling out a container of French fries. “I need to get Parker his photos. It never takes me this long to do touch ups.”

  “You’re distracted. There’s been a lot on your plate with your mom and Michael.”

  “I thought I’d be relieved when it was over.” A tear slid down her cheek, but she swiftly wiped it away, hoping Hallie hadn’t seen her. “I’m not. I miss him more now. It’s like half of me is gone.”

  “God, you really love him.”

  Taking a heavy breath, she stood, rolling her shoulders and stretching. “Can we talk about something else?”

  Hallie nodded. “Have you decided what to do about your mom? Are you staying or going back?”

  Rolling her eyes, Lena paced the room. “That’s no easier a topic, Hal. I don’t know. It depends on what the doctors say about Mom’s recovery. She’s been there three weeks. I’ve already asked for my start date at Vogue to be pushed back until October. I have no clue what the right thing to do is.”

  “Okay, well, answer this question. Does working for Vogue define you?”

  Confused, Lena frowned and took her bottom lip between her teeth. “I don’t understand.”

  “I mean, was something missing from your life before you got the job at Vogue? I don’t remember you really talking about that being your end goal. I remember you wanting your photos to be beautiful. I remember you wanting to be able to support yourself. You never said you needed to be a big shot photographer.”

  That threw her. “I . . . uh . . . I always loved the pictures in the magazine. But you’re right. I was happy with my life before Rhett came along with his big ideas and you can be more speeches.”

  “Yeah, the bastard.” Hallie’s tone was light and sarcastic.

  “Okay, so it wasn’t all him. I enjoyed being busy. But, did I tell you that I have to be in the office at the butt crack of dawn at Vogue?”

  “Oh, the horror.”

  She took a deep breath. “But God, I miss it here. I miss you.” Hallie was right. She’d been telling herself Vogue was her dream, maybe trying to convince herself of that fact. But in truth, she’d been running. “I don’t want to be there. I want to be here,” she whispered. “Why was it so hard for me to see that?”

  Hallie chuckled. “I don’t know, maybe because you were in the middle of a complicated situation with your husband?”

  “Jesus, I’m such an idiot.”

  “You’re not an idiot. You’re in love and it scares the hell out of you.”

  Her hands shook as she pulled out her phone. “I’ve got to call him. But Hal, you should have seen his face. He told me he loved me and I pushed him away. That was the worst thing I could have done.”

  “I’ll admit, it wasn’t your wisest move. All you can do is be honest with him.”

  Nodding, Lena stepped outside into the warm September afternoon. The wail of sirens in the distance pul
led her attention from the ocean view outside of her studio. Each time she heard that sound her heart clenched, and no matter where she and Michael stood, she knew that would be the case for the rest of her life.

  Dialing Michael’s number, she held her breath, waiting for an answer. After three rings it went to voicemail, Michael’s gruff voice announcing his name followed by a beep giving her only seconds to come up with a good message to leave him.

  “Hi, Michael. It’s Lena. I . . . I know you signed the papers, but I think we made a mistake—I made a mistake. I’m staying. I’m giving Vogue my notice, and I’m not giving up on us. Call me when you get this, please? I love you.”

  Chapter 26

  Why was she calling?

  Michael hesitantly sent Lena to voicemail, frustrated that he couldn’t put her out of his mind. He’d given her what she wanted and cut ties—she needed to do the same. Standing in the elementary school office with his mom and Mitchell, he didn’t have time to deal with whatever she wanted to say now. His heart couldn’t take it.

  “Daddy! It’s our turn.” Mitchell’s little face lit up with excitement as they approached the registration desk.

  “Well, hi there, Marianne.” The older woman behind the desk smiled at his mom. “Who do you have here?”

  “This is my grandson, Mitchell. We need to register him.” His mom beamed with pride as she squeezed Mitchell’s shoulder.

  “Grandson? I didn’t know Alex had children. Have he and Roxie moved back into town? You know only his legal guardian can register him.”

  Michael took the little boy gently by the arm and walked him to the window, so Mitchell wouldn’t hear the words Michael knew were coming.