by Dee J. Stone
“No,” Cruiser whispers when I start to pull away.
I lean my forehead against his. “You’re hurt.”
“I need you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Cruiser. I’m going to stay here for as long as you need. Well, except for school.”
A soft chuckle rumbles in his chest. “Fuck school.”
“I wish.” I lift myself off him and look into his eyes. There are so many emotions buried in there, but the one that stands out most is the love he has for me. I see it so strongly, as though it has a huge arrow pointing to itself. “I’ll come by as soon as school is over. I promise.”
He moves his hand until it takes hold of mine. “I’ll count down the minutes.”
Leaning forward, I give him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving. As soon as I’m down the hall, a sudden chill passes through me. Now that I’m not with Cruiser anymore, I feel empty. It’s like he and I are on a whole new level in our relationship. We’re not together—yet—but we’re not strangers, either. And we’re more than just friends. It sucks that Cruiser getting into an accident caused a change in our relationship. I wish I wouldn’t have given up on us. I wish I would have rushed over to fix things up with him, just as he was doing when he got attacked.
The bus ride is long and annoying. It’s moments like these where I wish I had a license. Maybe one day. When I get off and enter the school, I nearly collide with Coach Lewis. I cringe when I see the look on her face.
“Lex Woods.”
I swallow. “Yeah, Coach?”
She folds her arms over her chest. “Where were we on this fine morning?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to miss practice. My boyfriend is in the hospital and—”
“Is he on his death bed?”
“What? No, but—”
“Then there’s absolutely no reason for you to skip practice. You’re letting me down, you’re letting your teammates down, but more importantly, you’re letting yourself down. The meet is only a week away.”
My gaze drops to my shoes. “I know. I’m sorry.”
She doesn’t say anything. I look at her. She doesn’t have a pissed-off expression on her face anymore. Her eyes are soft. She steps closer to me, putting a hand on my arm. “Lex, you never know who might show up at a meet. You don’t want to lose your chance at the scholarship.”
I know I need the scholarship—it’s the only way for me to attend Juilliard. But when I found out Cruiser was in the hospital, I felt like my world was coming to an end. Nothing else mattered but him. But I realize now how unhealthy I’ve been acting. I can’t sacrifice the important things in my life. Cruiser is the most important part of it, but I have a lot of other important parts, too. Like dance and my family and friends.
“I won’t miss any more practice,” I tell Coach Lewis.
She nods. “See you at lunch break. And after school.”
I nod. I hate that I’m breaking my promise to Cruiser, but I know he wouldn’t want me to miss any more practice. The meet is only a few days away, and I’m nowhere ready. Since I can’t text Cruiser, I text Rey, asking him to tell his brother when he visits him that I’ll stop by after practice.
As I head to my locker, I catch sight of Dani walking by. When she sees me, she rushes over. “How’s Cruiser doing?”
“He’s great.”
She sighs in relief. “I’m glad to hear that. Do you think he’s up for visitors? Simon wants to visit, too.”
I really want to have Cruiser all to myself for a little bit. There’s so much we need to talk about. I have so many things to say to him. But I don’t want to be selfish. There’s time to talk about stuff later.
“Let’s all go to the hospital after school,” I say.
“I’ll text Simon.”
***
I ask Dani to drop me off at my house before we head to the hospital. I need to pick up something very important. As soon as I walk into the living room, I come face to face with Rosie and Jamie sitting on the couch.
“Jamie!” I rush over to give him a hug. “Hi. How are you?”
“I’m good.”
Rosie rolls her eyes. “He won’t admit he’s nervous.”
“I don’t blame you for being nervous. What you’re going through is very tough. You’re a brave little man.”
He ducks his head, his cheeks pink. “I wanted to spend my last day with Rosie.”
That’s so cute.
Even though Rosie is mega upset that she can’t undergo the procedure, I’m glad to see she’s having a good time with Jamie. It looks like they’re playing that board game Rosie loves.
I rub his head. “Good luck, Jamie. I wish you all the best. And keep us posted.”
He nods. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to see Cruiser?” Rosie asks me.
“Yeah. You guys want to come?”
She looks at Jamie. “Um,” he says. “My mom’s gonna pick me up soon. We still have to pack and stuff…”
“Oh.”
Now I rub Rosie’s head. “You’ll visit Cruiser tonight, okay?”
She nods.
I go up to my room and open the bottom drawer of my dresser. I reach for the old jewelry box, where I keep the jewelry I don’t wear anymore, and open it. The necklace and matching bracelet gleam in the sunlight. I reach for the necklace and hold it on my palm, studying it. It’s a pendant of intertwined hearts, the letters “C + L” engraved on the back. Cruiser gave it to me on our first official date, and he gave me the bracelet at our one-month anniversary. When I thought he cheated on me, I was so upset that I ripped it and the bracelet off and threw them in the trash. Luckily, I managed to fish them out the next morning before they were gone forever. Despite how upset and hurt I was, I knew I couldn’t throw them away. That’s why I stashed them with my old jewelry.
Now that Cruiser and I are…whatever we are—or are going to be—I put them on. At once, a warm feeling passes through my body. The jewelry…it means something for both Cruiser and me. It’s a symbol of our love for one another, a symbol of everything we’ve been through and what’s to come. Tears of regret enter my eyes at the thought that I actually threw them out. I overreacted once again. I really need to stop doing that if I want to have a future with Cruiser. And I do, really badly.
Someone honks their horn. Dani must be growing inpatient. She and Simon have a date planned tonight. They want to visit Cruiser before getting ready for their special night.
I pass the door to my room, then look down at my outfit. I’m wearing my Sharkettes uniform because my gym clothes are in the wash. Should I change? My eyes travel from the stairway to my closet.
Dani honks again.
I run down the steps, wave goodbye to Rosie and Jamie, and fly out the door.
Chapter Five
Cruiser
I’m bored as hell.
Lydia, my nurse, propped me up on my bed. Said tomorrow I’ll get up and walk around a bit. Then in a few days, I’ll be shipped home. Not that I know where “home” is anymore. I ran to Dad’s to escape Lex. So I wouldn’t have to see her sexy eyes and sexy hair and sexy body and—
I don’t get what we are. If we’re together. Does she want to give us another shot? From the look on her face when I returned to Earth last night, she looked happier than I’ve ever seen her. I saw the love shining in her eyes—and it wasn’t wishful thinking. I know she loves me and wants to make us work. Does that mean I should move back in with Mom? But then I’d have to leave Rey. Bro needs me. I can’t abandon him.
I rub a hand down my face. Lex was right. I am being forced to choose between them. It sucks ass.
I toss my laptop to the side. I’m bored as hell and my laptop and phone help crap.
The police came by earlier. Questioned me about the night of the attack. I kept to the story I promised Rey. They seemed satisfied. I think. It doesn’t matter. Jake and his jackass crew are not allowed to be anywhere near me. I don’t know if that reassures me. He’s got
bozos in every crack in the road, I bet. Would he come after Rey? Lex? The thought of any of them getting hurt because of me makes my gut ache in this antagonizing way. The thought of them laying a hand on my T. Rex…
I shut my eyes. Tell myself to breathe in and out. Count to ten. When I open them, I don’t feel better. This is all because of Rey. Because he was so screwed up with what happened at Kelman’s that he got involved with that lame-ass Nate and his lame-ass friends. I wish I could fly to outer space, take Earth in my hands and spin it around. ‘Til we’re back to the day when Rey came home from the music academy. I should have done something. Said something. Maybe all this wouldn’t have happened.
I throw my head back on the pillow. Damn, I’ve got no choice but to think. To replay everything that’s happened these past few weeks. Wish I did things differently. But that ain’t possible. The only thing I can do is move forward. I can’t change the past, but I sure as hell can change the future.
Three figures step into my room. Dani, Simon, and my sweet, beautiful Lex. She’s wearing her Sharkettes uniform. I love the way she looks in it. So sexy.
I glance at the clock on the wall. Hell yeah! School is out. ‘Bout time.
Dani looks uncomfortable. Not surprising. She’s not one who likes to deal with emotions. Like me. Simon seems cool. He marches over. Holds out his hand for a slap. I give it to him. “How are you doing?”
My focus is on Lex. Her whole face is bathed in this light. Like every part of her is happy to see me. I wish I could tug her closer to me and hold her. Just hold her tight and whisper things into her ear. Let her know how much she means to me. But we’re in the damn hospital. And in public.
Time freezes as she and I stare at each other. Nothing else matters. Just her and me.
Dani shuffles. Damn, she ruined the moment. I look at Simon and nod toward my arm that’s in a sling. “Got a new decoration.”
He grins. “Nice. I want to be the first one to sign it.”
“Hell, no. Lex will be the first one.”
She smiles.
“Okay, second.”
“Nope. Next comes Bro.”
“Okay, third.”
“Nah, that’s Rosie Posie. Yeah, I figured it all out.” I shrug. “Ain’t nothing to do here but stare at the damn walls.”
“So what number am I?” Simon asks.
I think for a sec. “Seven? Eight?”
“Nice,” Simon mutters. “That’s how much I mean to you.”
We all laugh.
Dani moves closer. Still looks uncomfortable. “Hey…”
“Sup.”
She laughs. “I hate this mushy shit.”
Simon throws his arm around her shoulder. “I’m working on turning her to the dark side. Pretty soon, this girl will be so mushy we’ll be able to make mashed potatoes out of her.”
She shoves him away, trying to hold back a laugh.
She and Simon drag two chairs closer to my bed. Lex takes the one next to me. Her hand slides into mine. They talk about school. For a second, I forget I no longer go there. Wow, how pathetic. I miss my old school. Must be the meds. Yeah.
After half an hour, Dani and Simon leave for some romantic date. Lex and I are alone. Finally.
“Come,” I tell her.
“What?”
I scoot over on my bed. Try not to wince, but that’s impossible. I pat the area on the bed, the one near my good arm. “Come.”
“But won’t the…?” Her eyes move toward the door.
“Ah, screw them.”
“I’m the one who’ll get in trouble, you know.” Her eyes tell me she doesn’t want to be anywhere but on this hospital bed.
I take her hand and tug her closer. “Screw them, Lex.”
She looks unsure, but I must look real sexy in this hospital getup because she climbs onto the bed. Her leg brushes against mine. Sends an electric jolt up my body. It makes my ribs ache. A hiss leaves my mouth.
“Sorry!”
I gently raise my arm to wrap it around her shoulder. It makes my ribs ache again. I fight the pain. I pull her closer to me. I feel her fall onto me. She buries her nose in my chest. Hell, I hope I don’t smell. Haven’t gotten a proper shower in three days.
“I’ve missed you so much, Cruise,” she breathes into my chest.
My fingers play with her hair. “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”
“I’m…I’m sorry. About—”
“No. Let’s not talk about that.”
She raises her head off my chest. Looks into my eyes. “Are you sure?”
I nod.
“Okay.” Her head goes back on my chest. “Am I hurting you?”
“No.” I do feel a slight pain when she moves. But it feels so good to have her this close to me that I hardly feel it. “I could stay like this forever.”
She laughs. “Maybe in a more comfortable bed.”
I laugh, too. “Yeah.”
“Without the threat of someone walking in.”
“Without all that damn beeping.”
“And the smell,” Lex says.
“Sorry. Haven’t gotten a decent shower.”
She gently slaps my good arm. “Not you. The hospital smell.”
“Oh. Yeah, that.”
She sighs as she falls deeper into my chest. “I hate hospitals. They remind me of Rosie.”
I play with her hair some more. “Sorry. You don’t have to stay.” Though I would give up my kidney to keep her here. In my arms. With her warm breath tickling my chin when she raises her head. The feel of her soft body against mine.
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t leave you for anything.”
“Not even for a million bucks?”
“No. Though it does sound tempting.” She lifts her head and smiles at me. She’s joking.
My gaze dips to her lips. They are so kissable. Every part of me itches to feel them against mine, to taste her, drink her in like she’s the oxygen I need to survive.
She runs her tongue across them. I hold back a groan. Is she trying to torture me? My eyes move to hers. I see the fire burning in her. How she wants me to smash my mouth against hers. “Cruise,” she whispers in this sexy way that drives me bananas. Without thinking, I pull her closer to me with my good arm and bury my lips in hers.
She resists at first. Because she knows if someone were to come in, she might get banned. But then I feel her melting. Feel every part of her armor strip away. Little by little. Until she’s bare and I’m inside.
Her hands clutch my head. My arm digs into her waist. I haul her over my body, the action making my body ache. I groan, and she pulls away, but I tighten my hold on her. She’s not pulling away. Hell no.
“Crui—”
I shut her up by kissing hard. Passionately. I know I’ve chased away any thought she had in her head. In doesn’t matter that I’m in pain. All that matters is the two of us, the amazing feelings we create together. We’re in our own world, our Crex Land. Hmm, still gotta work on the name.
I kiss her deeper. Take her in until it feels like she won’t have any lips left. I can hardly breathe, but I don’t care. I need this. I need her.
“What the hell is going on in here?”
We break apart. Lex uses so much force that she knocks down this thing near my bed. To measure my blood pressure or something. She scrambles to her feet, her face so red I think it may pop. “S-sorry,” she quickly says.
Lydia looks like she’s about to bust a vein. “This young man is a patient.”
“It’s my bad,” I tell her. “Lex knew not to, but I couldn’t keep my hands off her.”
She gives me this disappointed, you-know-better look.
I hold out my hand. “What? I’m a sick man.”
She moves closer to me. Sighs. “No more kissing, okay?” She looks from me to Lex, then picks up the machine. “And the only person who can sit on this bed is the patient.”
“Yes. Sorry,” Lex says.
I’m not sorry. As soon as she leav
es, Lex is hopping back on so I can continue kissing her.
“How are you feeling?” Lydia asks. “Any pain?”
Yeah. I hurt a lot from the make out session with Lex. But I sure as hell am not telling her that. “I’m cool.”
“Okay. They’re going to bring you dinner soon.”
I grunt. “That food sucks.”
“Can I bring him something?” Lex asks. Her voice sounds like a little mouse. She’s scared of Lydia. It’s real cute. And sexy. Ah, everything Lex does is sexy in my books.
Lydia nods. “No more kissing, understand?”
“Yes.”
She looks at me.
“Fine,” I mumble.
“You don’t want to hurt yourself, Cruiser. The point is to get you out of here as soon as possible.”
I grumble.
She leaves my room.
Lex slaps my good arm. “I told you!”
I wrap my hand around her arm. “Come back.” I yank her closer.
She frees herself. “No way. If she catches us again, I’ll get kicked out.”
I pout. “Fine.”
“Hey,” a voice says.
I look up and see Rey standing in the doorway. He’s got a pile of papers with him. Damn. My homework. “Told you not to bring that shit over,” I tell him.
He waves them in the air. “Mom insisted. And so did your teachers.”
I moan. “Doesn’t anyone understand that I am in agony?”
Rey chuckles. “Sure you are. I was standing right outside when the nurse caught you two making out. Seriously, next time get a room.”
“If I didn’t have this useless arm and was able to get up, I would show you where to shove it.”
Rey grins. “I’m so going to enjoy this.”
Then he gets a dark look. I think I do, too. We must be thinking the same thing. Twin telepathy and whatnot. That he’s the reason I’m here.
He clears his throat. “Should I come back later so you two can go back to…” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.
“No.” Lex shakes her head so fast it might fly off. “No way. We’re not doing that again.”
“She’s always been too much of a goody goody,” I say.
