by Dee J. Stone
“Well you’ve always been too much of a baddy baddy.”
“You did not just say ‘baddy baddy.’”
Her face turns all red. “Shut up.”
“Make me.” I point to my lips.
“I think the drugs are making you just a bit too horny, Cruise,” Rey says.
Lex giggles.
I’m about to tell him to shove that, too, but maybe he’s right. Ever since I’ve seen Lex today, all I’ve wanted was to make out. I didn’t ask how she’s doing, how her day was. I want my relationship with her to be so much more than the physical. I want to know her mind, her heart, her soul. Lame as it sounds, it’s what I want.
I reach for her hand. She hesitantly puts it in mine. “Sorry, Lex. I think I’m losing my mind from sitting in this room all day.”
“It’s okay.” She sits back down in the chair near the bed. Rey takes the one Dani sat in.
“So how’s it going at the new school of ours?” I ask. “Am I a celebrity like I am at South Beach High?”
Rey snorts. “In your dreams. When I asked your history teacher for your work, he was like, ‘Cruiser who?’”
“Lame-o.”
“Are you…” Lex tucks some hair behind her ear. “Are you going to go back there when you leave?”
I look at Rey. He looks at me. I got no clue what to say. I need to focus on something else. My eyes catch sight of the pendant resting on Lex’s chest. “The necklace,” I say.
Her hand flies to it.
When she broke up with me, I noticed she didn’t have it on. It hurt like a million knives stabbing my heart. It means something special to the two of us. I got it for her on our first date. I remember how happy she was when I showed it to her. It made me feel good. More than good. And when I saw her without it…I swallow away the pain. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that she’s got it on now.
Her eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry for taking it off.”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
Rey shifts. Looks as uncomfortable as hell.
“So when are the parents coming by?” I ask him.
“Dad told me to text him after Mom leaves. Can you believe it? He’s avoiding her.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Are things really that bad between them?” Lex asks.
“Turns out he never really loved her,” Rey mutters.
Lex’s eyes widen. “I don’t believe that. He had to have loved her, at least a little bit.”
Rey shrugs. “They’re blaming each other for Cruiser’s attack.” His eyes meet mine. We share a silent message. We both know why I’m in the hospital.
We get quiet.
Six seconds pass.
“So when are you getting out of here?” Rey asks.
“A few days.”
“Great,” he says sarcastically. “I was enjoying my own private room.”
“Come here so I can shove your head under my armpit.”
He scoffs. “Let’s see you try.”
We talk about things until Mom arrives. Lex tells me she’s heading home and will come back later with food and Rosie. I can’t wait to see little Posie. I’d give Lex a farewell kiss, but I’m sure Mom won’t like it. So when her back is turned—fussing if I’m warm enough, even though I’m hot as hell—I blow her one.
She returns it.
Chapter Six
Lex
Rosie is in an…odd mood. It’s like she’s having a war inside herself—the part fighting to be upset with Jamie, and the one fighting to be happy for him. My heart hurts for her. To be so young and have to deal with this. I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better, but I don’t know if I can, or if anyone can. The best I can do is be there for her.
Dad stops the car at the deli a few blocks away from the hospital, and Mom helps me put Rosie in her wheelchair. I’d like her to help me pick out some food for Cruiser. Hopefully, it’ll make her feel better.
“I don’t really know what he likes,” Rosie says as I wheel her into the deli.
“He’s a guy. He loves everything.”
A small smile captures her lips. “Okay.”
There’s a small line. I gather Rosie’s hair—it’s not in pigtails but hangs down her shoulders—in my hands. “So Jamie’s on his way to the airport, huh?”
She nods.
“He’s probably so nervous.”
“He told me he had a nightmare last night. That he woke up in the hospital with his legs totally gone.” She twists her head to look up at me, forcing the strands of hair to slip out of my hands. “That can’t happen, can it? That he’ll lose his legs?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. I have no idea what the procedure will do. I don’t think so, though. The surgery should be on the spine.”
“Not walking is one thing. People stare no matter what. But to not have any legs at all?” She shivers. “Maybe I don’t want to do it.”
She’s still clinging onto this hope that Mom and Dad will let her undergo it, too. Even if the surgery is not a success for Jamie, it’s possible it can work on Rosie. No two injuries are the same. Even if it might fail on one person, there may be hope for someone else.
I don’t know how I feel about it. I would do anything for Rosie to walk again, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to put her through all of it. I don’t know if I can bear to see the disappointment and hopelessness in her eyes. But if it can be a success…even if Rosie would have to spend years doing physical therapy just to move a single toe, it would be worth it. But I just don’t know.
I gather her hair in my hands again, wishing I could hug her tight and never let go. I wish my love for her would transfer out of my heart and into her spine, repairing the damage the accident did to her. But I don’t live in a fairytale.
I hand Rosie a menu. “You choose something for Cruiser.”
I’ve never been to this place before, but the food looks amazing. “So much to choose from.” Rosie’s eyes spin around the items. “I’m lost.”
“Next!” the guy behind the counter calls.
Cruiser’s never been particular about food. He devours everything put in front of him. Rosie and I settle on a turkey sandwich stuffed with lettuce, onions, tomatoes, and a mildly spicy sauce, French Fries, potato salad, and strawberry shortcake for dessert. Even though I just ate, my mouth waters.
It takes ten minutes for the food to be prepared. The guy hands the bag to me, but Rosie reaches for it. She places it on her lap. “He’s going to be so excited,” I tell her. “The poor guy has been cooped up in the hospital for hours, eating that sucky food.”
“I know all about it,” Rosie says, her voice flat.
I touch her head. “I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“Whatever.”
“At least you’ll know how to make Cruiser feel better.”
He visited a lot when Rosie was in the hospital, at least in the beginning. After a few weeks, he started going downhill. I don’t like to think about this. It reminds me of how I had a huge hole in my stomach.
Mom gets out of the car. “What took so long?” She grabs the bag from Rosie and stashes it in the backseat.
Dad slides over to the passenger side. “Honey, would you like me to—?”
“I got it, Jack.”
She scoops Rosie into her arms and lays her in the backseat, next to the food. I fold her wheelchair, and the two of us place it in the trunk. I climb in next to Rosie. “Why is Mom pissed?” I whisper.
“She and Dad had a fight before you came back from the hospital.”
I bang my head against the back of the seat. Things were going so well for my parents a few weeks ago. They finally learned to embrace Rosie’s new life and were working on their relationship. They went out on romantic dates almost every night. It seems things are going backward now, and I know the reason why. Mom wants to sign Rosie up for the procedure. She went crazy trying to get Rosie to walk again after the accident. I thought she finally acce
pted things for what they are. Now everything’s being rehashed.
The drive to the hospital is quiet. Dad is clutching the steering wheel a little too tightly and Mom’s lips are pursed. I stare out the window, trying to hold back my tears. I’m trying so hard to forgive myself for the accident and move on, but when I see how broken my family is, I can’t help but hate myself even more. It’s all my fault. If I would have just watched Rosie instead of going upstairs with Cruiser, if I would have just been responsible…
I wipe a tear before it can roll down my cheek.
Dad parks the car in the lot and settles Rosie in her chair. He wraps his hands around the handles and pushes her up the ramp. Mom and I follow, with me clutching the bag of food. When the elevator door opens, tons of people pile in. There’s no room for the wheelchair. We wait for the next one. The same thing happens. I see the expression on Rosie’s face, and I wish I could tell all those people to just let us get on the stupid elevator! They can squeeze into the next one or take the stairs. But no. People aren’t very considerate.
Finally, we manage to get into an elevator. Even though I know she’s trying to be brave, I see the turmoil inside Rosie. She gnaws on her bottom lip until it bleeds. Last time, she only stayed for a few minutes.
“Cruiser’s going to be so excited to see you, Rosie,” I tell her.
She forces a weak smile.
Cruiser’s nurse, Lydia, waves when she sees me. I feel my entire face and neck heat up when I think back to her catching Cruiser and me making out on his bed. When he kisses me, I get transported into another world. Everything around me disappears. Really, there could be a fire and I wouldn’t notice. My lips still tingle from the strong, passionate kisses he gave me.
“Cruiser!” Rosie says when we enter his room.
He’s in the middle of picking at some food sitting on a tray. His face brightens. “Rosie Posie!”
“Lex told me you’re dying to see me,” she says.
“Is that right? Didn’t I hear it’s the other way around?”
She rolls her eyes. “Be nice or you won’t get food.” She grabs the bag from me and lifts it.
“Finally!” Cruiser shoves the table aside. It rolls away, crashing into the wall. “Woops.”
Rosie giggles. “We didn’t know what to pick, but Lex said you’ll eat anything.”
He gives me a face that says, I sure would, and I know he’s not talking about food. My whole body feels hot.
He blinks and focuses his attention on my parents. “Thanks for stopping by, Mr. and Mrs. Woods.”
Mom strokes his arm. “We’re so glad to see you’re okay.”
Dad pats his shoulder.
“Lexi! Give him the food.”
“Listen to the kid,” Cruiser says. “I’m so hungry I’ll eat the bag.”
I laugh. “Okay, okay.” I place the food on the table, then I roll it to Cruiser. His eyes look possessed as I unwrap his sandwich. I reach to hand it to him, but freeze mid-air. How can he eat a sandwich with only one hand?
“Um…” I’m so not feeding him in front of my parents. No way. “Is your mom here?” I ask.
“She’ll be back soon.”
Great. I lower the tray and raise the sandwich. Cruiser clutches the other side of it with his right hand and bites into it. He moans and falls back on the bed. “The best thing I’ve eaten in days.
“We’ll pick you girls up later,” Mom says. She kisses Rosie, then me. “Feel better, Cruiser.”
“Thanks.”
Dad nods to him, says goodbye, and leaves. Cruiser grins. “Now you can feed me properly.”
I shake my head. “You’re enjoying this a little too much.”
“Come on, servant girl.”
“Servant girl!” Rosie giggles. “And you’re the prince.”
He nods curtly. “Precisely.”
“You can eat yourself, you know,” I say.
“No. Not really. I need my servant girl to feed me.”
“Chauvinistic pig,” I mutter.
He puckers his lips.
“Do it, Lexi!” Rosie says.
“Fine.” And off I go feeding him. It’s actually romantic, in a weird way. Okay, it’s more weird than romantic, but it does feel good to do this for Cruiser. Taking care of him. I do want to take care of my man. He’s enjoying this a little too much, though.
He licks my finger as he bites into the sandwich. I gasp. He chuckles. “Keep it PG,” I hiss.
“Puhleeze,” Rosie says.
He finally finishes his sandwich and offers to share the fries with us. It’s a little hard to maneuver Rosie closer to him, so I leave her chair on the side and sit her on the chair near Cruiser. “Put her here.” He scoots over and pats the spot near him on the bed. “I doubt Lydia will throw out an innocent little girl.”
“Yay!” Rosie says.
I carefully put her down, and Cruiser wraps his arm around her. “Thanks for coming, Rosie Posie. It makes me feel really happy that you’re here.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
She beams.
“So tell me how things are going with your boyfriend.”
“Oh em gee, he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Ha. That’s what Lex said when she was your age.”
I look at him. Does that mean we’re…?
He must realize what he just said because he raises his eyebrows at me, as if he’s asking if I agree to be his girlfriend. I nod. He smiles. Then he looks down at Rosie. “Well?”
“He’s on his way to Phoenix.”
“Oh, right. The surgery.”
Rosie nods, her lips tight.
Cruiser ruffles her hair. “I know you’d rather spend your time here with me than in some hospital in Phoenix.”
She lowers her eyes to the blanket. “I wanna walk.”
Cruiser’s face falls. “I know, Posie.”
She continues staring at the blanket. Cruiser kisses the top of her head, then rubs her back.
She wipes her eyes. My heart lurches.
“Here.” Cruiser pushes the container with the strawberry shortcake closer to her. “Let’s split this.”
She sniffs. “It’s for you.”
“But I want to share it with my special Rosie Posie.”
She looks back at me. “What about Lexi?”
I wave my hand. “It’s okay. You two share it.”
“Her meet’s coming up,” Rosie says to Cruiser. “She can’t get fat or else she’ll screw up the routine.”
Cruiser’s eyes meet mine. “You have a meet coming up?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.” He frowns. “I hope I can make it.”
“It’s okay if you can’t.”
He shakes his head. “I haven’t missed a single one of your meets since I got back from New York.”
I feel all warm inside. “Thanks.”
Cruiser rummages in the bag for a plastic knife and cuts the cake in half. “Looks yum, doesn’t it?”
When Rosie doesn’t answer, he tickles her. She yelps.
“Here comes the Tickle Monster!”
“Nooo!”
He continues tickling her. “Where’s that sweet smile?”
She shows all her teeth. “Happy?”
“Nope. I want a real one.”
“But I’m not happy.”
“How can you not be? You’re sharing my bed. Not that many girls can say they had the opportunity to share my bed.”
“Cruiser,” I warn.
He laughs. “I’m just kidding.” He looks down at Rosie again, then tickles her. “Come on, Rosie Posie. I’m a sick patient here. Don’t you want to make me feel better? Where’s that smile?”
She gives him one. “Happy?”
He sighs. “I guess that’ll do. Now eat your cake.”
They both dig in. Cruiser chews for a few seconds before swallowing hard. “I’ve tasted better.”
Rosie pushes hers away. “So much for your special dessert.”
He bumps her shoulder. “Thanks for the meal. It was great.” He pats his stomach. “I’ll be good for days.” He reaches for his laptop. “I think I have Dawn of the Damned installed here. Hmm, let’s see. Ah, hear it is. Think you can beat my high score?”
“I know I can.”
“Bring it on!
Chapter Seven
Cruiser
Bright lights. Cars in the distance. The sound of snickers crawling into my ears like maggots. A punch to my gut. My face. One time, two times, three times. Everything around me spins. Blood splatters everywhere. A foot slams into my ribs. “Rot in hell.”
My eyes snap open to the familiar hospital room. My heart thumps in my chest like it’s made of stone. The voice of Jake echoes in my ears. “Rot in hell.”
I rub my eyes. Dammit, a dream.
The floor by the door creaks. Rey stands there. When he sees I’m awake, he walks over and scratches the back of his neck. “Hey, Cruise.”
My heart rate is starting to slow down. It was just a dream. Damn Jake and his jackass crew.
I blink at the clock. It’s ten PM. “What you doin’ here?” I ask Rey.
He sits down. “Dunno.” He looks troubled.
I sweep my arm across my eyes to get rid of the sleep and that stupid dream. “Whatup, bro?”
His shoe taps the floor. He swallows a few times. Body twitches.
“Seriously, Rey. What’s eating you?”
He rubs his hands down his thighs. “Everything.”
That’s all I’m getting. Rey and I have always been close. Always told each other things. Ever since he got back from L.A., I felt like I was pulling his teeth to find out even the smallest info. “Is it Jake?” I ask.
He looks at his fingers.
“It’s over,” I tell him. “He won’t come after us anymore.” At least, I hope so.
“It’s not that. I mean, yeah, I am scared he’ll try to hurt you again. Or me. But…” He puffs out some air. “All this happened because of me.”
“Rey. We spoke about this. It’s cool.”
“It’s not!” He stands, turns around, and grabs his head. Then he whirls around. “I wrecked everything. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“It’s not your mind. It’s your heart.”
