by M. E. Parker
She pushed back from me breathing heavily, “I need to finish dinner.”
I didn’t have any interest in her finishing dinner, but she had been working hard on it, and I didn’t want to tell her no. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest as I tried to calm down. She turned towards her batter and said, “Now I just need to figure out what to bake this in.” I’m pretty sure she was talking to herself and not asking, but I had to help her out. I reached into a cabinet and pulled out a cast iron skillet and set it on the stove and turned on the burner.
She laughed at me. “Jack, I may not have done this before, but even I know you’re supposed to bake it in the oven.”
God, she was adorable. “Bacon grease.” I said.
“Huh?”
“There’s a jar of bacon grease in the fridge. Get it and put about a tablespoon in the skillet, let it melt and then pour the batter in, then you bake it in the oven.”
“Are you sure Jack? Bacon grease? That sounds gross. And the recipe doesn’t say that.”
I laughed at her, “That’s because it’s just assumed. Almost every southern recipe includes bacon grease. Trust me.”
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, trying to decide whether to trust me. “Trust me Freckles. I wouldn’t steer you wrong. I have to eat this too, remember? And I’m starving, I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”
“Okay. This better not be a trick.”
“No tricks, promise,” I said and leaned down to give her quick kiss because I couldn’t help myself. “You finish the cornbread and I’ll work on these dishes,” I said turning to the sink.
“I’m sorry Jack, I was hoping to have it all clean and everything cooked before you got home.”
“Don’t be sorry. I need something to occupy my hands. Otherwise, they’d be all over you.” I winked at her and she blushed. Damn, if my jeans didn’t just get a little tighter.
After we finished the dishes and the cornbread was in the oven, she grabbed two beers out of the fridge and handed me one. We sat down at the kitchen table to wait for the cornbread to bake. Dolly Parton was singing ‘Joleen’ on the radio and I watched with a smile on my face as she sung the words under her breath. “As much as I love all this Claire, are you going to tell me what it’s about?”
She looked nervous. “I just wanted to do something nice for you. You’ve been so nice to me.” I watched her as she swallowed hard, “And, I have a proposal for you.”
I laughed, “Oh so you’re buttering me up, huh?” Whatever she wanted. She could have it. I looked at her blushing. Why did I get the feeling this was more than her asking for a little money? “Okay. Now I’m officially curious. Are you going to tell me?”
She grinned, “After dinner?”
“Okay Freckles, will you at least tell me if you spoke to your father?”
“I did. He is not exactly happy with me. But he put a little money in my account. Enough to get me home and buy a plane ticket. He knows where I am and that I’m safe. I apologized for spending all the money and I promised to be more responsible, but I told him I wasn’t ready to come home yet.”
I didn’t press her. But I wanted to know what that meant. She wasn’t ready to go home? Did that mean she wanted to go to New York? Did she want to stay here for a few days? I couldn’t tell her no, but the thought of her leaving was already killing me. If she stayed, it would be worse.
“Okay. You can tell me your proposal after dinner. I’ll set the table. Five more minutes on the cornbread.” I said patting my stomach. “I’m hungry.”
We sat down to eat, and I took a spoonful of chili as she watched intently, I blew on it a little and smiled at her as I took my first bite. I moaned. “Damn Freckles, it’s perfect, just like my Grandma’s. The taste of this chili brings back a lot of good memories.”
She gave me a heart-stopping smile. “Are you sure? It’s good? You like it?”
“Hell yeah, it’s good. Taste it.” I meant every word. It was perfect. I would have never guessed. I doubted that she would realize how much it meant to me that she had done this for me.
She giggled as she dug in. “God, it is good, isn’t it?”
I laughed. “No bragging Freckles.”
“I can’t help it. It is good, but I guess your Grandma really deserves the credit.”
I smiled at her. We ate in silence and she grinned when I went back for seconds. When we finished I took our dishes and put them in the sink and grabbed two more beers. I handed her one. “Okay, I’m ready for this proposal,” I said as I sat down across from her. “Is it an indecent proposal? Because, if so, I am probably up for it.” I joked.
She threw a beer cap at me. “No. It’s completely decent.” I watched her cheeks turn red.
“Okay Freckles let’s hear it.” She looked nervous, which made me nervous.
“I want to stay.”
Four words. Four words that I wanted to hear her say more than anything. Four words that scared the shit out of me.
“You want to stay here?” I asked. Not believing I heard her right.
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know the foreseeable future? Indefinitely.”
I choked on my beer and coughed. “It’s a little soon for us to be moving in together, don’t you think darlin’?” I watched her face drop and her cheeks turn crimson. It was a dick thing to say, but I didn’t want to be toyed with.
“It’s not like that. Will you just hear me out? Then you can tell me no if you want.”
“I’m listening.” I watched her nervously shifting in her chair and I wanted to wrap her in my arms and tell her everything would be fine, but too much negativity was going through my mind.
“I don’t know what it is about this place, about you, but I feel like I breathe for the first time in years. When you talked about farming last night, the passion you had for it, I want that. You said what you do is real, and it is. I want to do something real Jack. I can’t tell you what that is exactly. But for some reason, my gut is telling me I could find it here. So, what I’m asking is, could I stay here for a few weeks? I will sleep on the couch, of course. I figured I could go into town this week and find a job, start looking for a place to live. I want to live like a normal person, work like a normal person, and figure out what it is I want to do along the way.”
“Claire.” Her words had sent me reeling. She was sincere, I could tell, but she wasn’t telling the truth. Even if she thought she was. She didn’t want to stay here. She didn’t have a clue what she was saying and I’m sure she didn’t have a clue how bad I wanted her to be telling the truth even though I knew she wasn’t.
“Wait. There’s more. As you know, I am having some cash flow issues now, so I couldn’t pay you rent right away at least. But I want you to have this.” She said as she took a watch out of the pocket of her dress and set it on the table in front of me. It was the watch she had taken back from the douchebag.
I raised an eyebrow. “That’s a nice watch, Claire. But as you can see, I have a watch. I don’t need it. Besides, I’m not too keen on wearing a watch that you bought for another guy.” I don’t know why, but it ran all over me the wrong way that she had thought I’d want that watch.
“I don’t want you to wear it, Jack. I want you to sell it, it’s a thirty-thousand-dollar watch.”
I choked on my beer again. “You bought that douchebag a thirty thousand dollar watch after you had known him for less than two months.” It suddenly made sense to me how she’d spent fifty grand in less than two weeks.
“Not my finest moment, I know Jack, but that’s beside the point.”
“Okay Claire, I’m gonna play along for a minute. Did you just not tell me before dinner that you promised your father you were going to be more financially responsible? You are telling me you want to stay on my couch for what, a month? How much do you think is a fair price for rent for my couch in this little old cabin in Spring Hill, Tennessee? I will tell you, f
ifty bucks a week would be generous. That’s two hundred dollars. In what way is it financially responsible for you to offer me thirty thousand dollars?”
Her face turned red. “Jack it’s not about the rent. I want you to have it whether I stay or not. You need to understand. I have a lot of money. I have a trust fund that’s irrevocable. I’ll have complete access to it in a few years, it has more money in it than I could ever spend in a lifetime, even if I bought a watch like that every week. I own twenty-five percent of my father’s company, which is also worth more money than I could spend in a lifetime. Aside from that, I have investment accounts that my father doesn’t even know about. I could cash them out tomorrow, but there would be penalties. Yes, my father and I are in a stand-off right now, but trust me when I tell you, that watch is nothing to me. It would probably be like you giving me a dollar. Wouldn’t you give me a dollar if you thought it could make a difference in my life?”
“Of course, I would Claire. But I still don’t get it. I don’t get why you would give this to me. You could sell it yourself and not have to worry about your dad for a while. What difference do you think it would make for me?”
“I know that Jack, I thought about that, but there is something very appealing to me about working for a living. I want a job and I want to use the money I earn to pay my own bills. That probably sounds ridiculous to you, I know. And the way your eyes light up when you talk about the farm, I just thought maybe you might want some land of your own to farm. I know that’s not enough to buy a farm, but I thought it might be enough for a down payment or to lease a small piece of land. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. If I did, it wasn’t my intention.”
I felt my heart melt a little at her generosity. There she was sitting in front of me, willing to stay with me in this little shack, asking for nothing really, and for some reason, I was fighting her on it. I didn’t know the reason. I knew that once she realized what it is that she had asked for, she would leave. It won’t be enough for her and when she does leave. It would break me. Self-preservation had kicked in and I was on the defensive.
“Claire, that’s probably the nicest thing anyone has ever offered me. But I’m not sure you understand completely what you’re asking for. Farm life is not for everyone, it can be very lonely. There are five hundred and forty-eight people in this little town. There is no Starbucks, no yoga studios, no spas, no shopping malls, or nightclubs. Hell, you have already been to the one and only restaurant in town. There is nothing here. You may think you have some romantic notion about living on a farm, but it’s not easy and it’s not for everyone.” I looked across at her. Her face was red, and a tear ran down her cheek. I ran my fingers through my hair and wondered why I was acting like such a dick.
“Okay Jack, I get it. You don’t want me here. But for the record, I don’t care about any of that. I like regular coffee, black. I don’t need a studio to do yoga and I have been to enough spas, done enough shopping, and eaten at enough restaurants to last a lifetime. If I wanted that shit, I would move back to New York. All you have to do is say no, Jack, but, don’t patronize me. I’m not the idiot that you apparently think I am.” She jumped up from the table and I grabbed her wrist before she could get away.
“Claire, wait. Come here. I’m sorry.” I scooted my chair back and pulled her down on my lap. I pushed her hair away from her face. “I’m sorry Claire. Look at me.” I hated myself for making her cry. It had nothing to do with her and everything to do with my own insecurities. “It’s completely crazy Claire. I’ve known you for twenty-four hours and I want you to stay here with me so bad it hurts. I mean that. It’s just hard for me to believe that it’s really what you want. Don’t get mad when I ask you this, but I know how bad you don’t want to go back to Boston. Do you just want to stay because you don’t feel like you have any place else to go? Are you hiding? It’s okay if that’s what this is Claire, I’ll let you stay however long you want. I just need to know.”
I turned her around, so she was straddling me. She looked down at me with her big beautiful eyes. “No Jack. I told you. I have plenty of money. Money that my dad can’t control. I can go anywhere I want. Do anything I want. All I have to do is make a call tomorrow. So, I have a choice. I’m not hiding Jack. I’m just choosing not to go home. I’m not going to lie to you, part of this is about you, about how you make me feel, about whatever this is between us. But I wasn’t lying when I said I felt like I could breathe for the first time in years since I came here. It really does feel right to me. And I wasn’t lying about wanting to work and figuring out what I want to do with my life. Everything I’ve told you is true.”
I held her hands in mine. “Okay Freckles, how about this? How about I show you around the farm tomorrow and we go into town and look around a bit and if you still want to stay, then you can stay, for however long you want.”
My heart pounded as she looked into my eyes, I couldn’t believe what she was asking. Could I really be this lucky? I couldn’t get my hopes up. It seemed too good to be true. “Okay, Jack. Deal. Can I work with you on the farm tomorrow? Do you feed the animals? Can I help you do that?” Excitement sparkled in her eyes. I needed to tell her everything, but I figured it may be better to wait until I showed her around the farm tomorrow.
“Sure. We can feed the animals.” I said looking up at her twinkling eyes.
“And I can work with you tomorrow?”
“There’s not much work to do right now, but yeah.” I smiled at her. Maybe I would let her get her hands dirty, if she really wanted to stay, it wouldn’t hurt for her to see what it was like to do a little bit of hard work. If she wanted to stay, I wanted her to know everything with no surprises. Because if she decided to stay, I knew I couldn’t let her go.
“Thank you, Jack.”
“Don’t thank me yet Freckles.”
“Thank you for dinner and I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time. I shouldn’t have. It’s all about me, nothing to do with you.”
She put her forehead against mine and her lips whispered against mine. “Kiss me Jack.”
I answered with my lips on hers.
Chapter Seven—Claire
I couldn’t be angry with him. I understood his reaction. I knew what it looked like. It looked exactly like what I did a year ago when I took off to New York. It looked like I was running away, hiding from the pre-ordained life that scared the shit out of me. I’m sure I seemed like a spoiled little rich girl to him, looking for another adventure, wanting to shirk her responsibilities. But I meant every word I said to him. I just needed to prove it to him. But what I couldn’t say to him, was that the thought of leaving him, the thought of walking away from him, that was unthinkable to me.
All I knew was that I could breathe again when he said I could stay. And when he started kissing me, I knew that I wasn’t meant to be anywhere else. God, his tongue in my mouth on my neck. It felt better than anything. I wanted all of him. I laced my fingers through his hair and as soon as I felt his hand on my breast, a moan escaped me. I could feel his erection between my legs and I couldn’t help but move against him. I wanted more of what he had given me last night. I never knew it could feel like that.
“Claire. Wait. We need to slow down.” He said to me breathlessly. I backed away from him and began unbuttoning his shirt as I kissed his neck.
“I don’t want to slow down Jack. I want you.”
I continued to move my hips against him, taking pleasure from the delicious friction as I unbuttoned his shirt. I may not have been very experienced. But I could tell he wanted me as much as I wanted him, and I didn’t want to wait. I knew it was right. It would never be more right.
“Jesus Claire. I want you too. You’ve no idea.”
I had his shirt completely unbuttoned and I moved my hands inside his shirt and touched his chest, running my hands down his hard, ridged stomach. Soft skin over hard rippled muscle. He felt incredible beneath my fingertips. As soon he felt my hands moving downward, he grabbed them.<
br />
We were both out of breath. “Wait, Claire. Stop for a second. Look at me.” I looked at him.
“What Jack? You know this is right.”
“Give me a second Claire. We have to talk about this.” I felt his hands around my waist lifting me off him. “Stop for a second. Look at me.” His hands were on my face. “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want you to regret it. What if you don’t stay? Maybe it’s too soon.” I heard his words, but I could see what his eyes said to me and they were begging me to tell him he was wrong, and he was.
“Jack. Even if this is our first and last time, I could never regret it. It feels one hundred percent right to me. The only regret I will have is if I don’t give myself to you tonight. This is supposed to happen, Jack. Let it happen.”
His breath was harsh and ragged. “Fuck Claire. I know you’re right. But you need to know if you walk away from me after we do this...” His voice trailed off as if he didn’t want to finish his thought.
I kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. “I won’t walk away. You have to know that. You have to feel this.”
His mouth covered mine again, and then he whispered, “Okay pretty girl, if we are going to do this, we are going to slow down. I’m taking my time with you.” His whispers sent shivers down my spine. He moved my hair falling over my shoulder behind my back to expose my neck. I threw my head back to give him better access as he ran his tongue and lips down the side of my neck. The kisses weren’t frenzied or hungry anymore, they were slow, almost methodical, as if he was savoring every last taste. I pressed tighter against him hoping to relieve some of the aching and throbbing between my legs. He responded by moving his hands under my dress and pressing them against the cheeks of my ass pulling me closer, answering my need.
