Endure

by M. R. Merrick

  “They need me to summon Ithreal.”

  “Yes. Because the gods keep Ithreal bound inside the world, he can’t break free. What he can do is send up pieces of his essence. They need a summoner who can channel power from the Fade to guide his essence. That power will break open the veil and fuse itself to his vessel, Riley.”

  “What makes them think I’m powerful enough to do that? Better yet, what makes them think I will?”

  “You’re a summoner, you can. The gods designed all of this thinking they’d made it impossible. Ithreal can only be brought back by a specific god’s soul piece—The 11th Dimension. One of the blank pages you couldn’t understand is the spell to bring Ithreal back. Your magic unveiled the words to you, and so you’re the only person who can perform it. And in order to do be brought back, Ithreal needs a vessel. That vessel had to be a hunter from the Circle, the very people created to kill demons. During the Great War, Ithreal knew there was a chance he wouldn’t win, so he ensured the book was on Earth with the Brothers. The rest has been up to Drake and Darius.”

  Rayna kept pace beside me but she didn’t say anything else, and we walked in silence for the next half an hour. It took some time, but eventually Rai heard my calls and found us. Although she stayed above, coasting through the air, she made sure to stay close.

  I searched all the newfound memories, hoping to find more information. I didn’t believe it would be as easy as using these new abilities to beat Ithreal. I wasn’t a god, so I couldn’t kill him. And even if I could, I was only going up against a part of him. What I needed was a way to stop the ritual completely.

  “What’s going on in your head?” Rayna asked.

  “Just trying to take it all in.”

  “You’re handling this all pretty well.”

  Rayna was right. I should’ve been shocked and overwhelmed, but after completing the rite, it was like there were two halves to me. One part was me trying to stop Ithreal and find all the answers. The other was the Protector who had all the answers, or most of them anyway. Now these parts were mingled together, and I was still trying to absorb all the memories and knowledge of lifetimes passed. However, explaining that to Rayna didn’t seem to convince her I was okay.

  “That’s not what I mean, Chase. You’re not a hunter anymore. You’re a demigod. Doesn’t that scare you?”

  “What’s to be scared of? I’ve got more power than ever before. If we’ve ever had a real chance at stopping all this, it’s now. I have to have faith that we’ll make it through this.”

  I knew that wasn’t the answer she was looking for, but the truth was I didn’t know how I felt. I could do things I never would have dreamed of before, but that wasn’t why she was asking. By fusing the gods’ souls into mine, I wasn’t a hunter anymore and I wasn’t human. I was something else, something more, something…eternal. And that was scary.

  Rayna didn’t push the subject. She didn’t get the answer she wanted, but I think she knew how I felt and that it wasn’t the time to talk about it. Now was the time to stay focused on working together and putting an end to all this. If we couldn’t stop this, eternity didn’t matter.

  Chapter 27

  The suns had started to break over the skyline. Streaks of blue and yellow painted the sky, merging into a green cascade. We were on a shale path and the trolls’ camp had come within our sight. A troll I didn’t recognize guarded the bridge that crossed over a river. He stood frozen with a stern expression painted on his face. Thick brown warts decorated his jawline and his left eye was puffy and grey.

  We didn’t move closer to the bridge; instead, we walked toward the village of tents and wooden shacks. Smoke rose into the sky from fire pits spread throughout the camp, and the smell of something foreign filled the air.

  Long, ratty hair hung from the head of each troll we passed. Most of them grunted, but an odd few nodded and said hello in their gruff, angry voices. We passed the makeshift arena where I’d first met Ishmar, the half giant, half troll, and then stepped into the main social pit. A rank smell wafted from the charred pot that hung over the fire, and I breathed through my mouth in an attempt to avoid the scent.

  Being unfamiliar with the dimension and the trolls, Rayna stayed close. Her hand occasionally brushed my arm, and her other hand hovered near her whip. There were only a few trolls rummaging through the pit, and I spotted Tiki in the distance. I crossed the opening and weaved between tents and wooden structures, one of which had a horrific smell coming from it. A plump troll pushed open the wooden door, synching a rope around his waist. He stopped and stared at us, grunting as we passed.

  Tiki turned, his eyes wide with surprise. He set down the two wooden baskets he’d been carrying and rushed toward us. “Chase, Rayna, my friends. You’ve made it!” He sounded both surprised and excited. He stopped in front of me and gave me a head-to-toe look. “You don’t look different, but you feel different.”

  “I’m still me…and then some. Where are Chief Sorent and Vincent?”

  “They left for the day with Garsmith. Chief Sorent had a vision last night that the goddess Serephina spoke to him. They’ve gone to the mountains of the east to seek out the giants in hopes that they too have had a vision. If they have not, he wishes to strike an alliance with them.”

  “The giants had a vision too. They’ll be on our side.”

  “How do you know this, Chase Williams?”

  “It’s a long story,” I said. “If they’re not coming back until tomorrow, is there a place we can rest?”

  “Yes, they have reserved a tent for us. I will take you.”

  The tent was small, but it was all we needed. Tiki excused himself to get back to helping the trolls, and Rayna and I fell onto the cot. Thick fur covered the bed, and although it wasn’t very comfortable, I didn’t have the effort to be picky. Rayna curled into me, her fingernails moving back and forth over my chest. Her breath was warm and her eyelashes tickled my skin.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Huh?” Rayna cleared her throat but didn’t look at up me. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

  I didn’t have the energy to pry anything out of her, but I knew if something was bothering her, she wasn’t going to get any sleep.

  “Want to try that again? I know you better than that.”

  Rayna shrugged. “I’m just worried about all this. You have the power to fight back now, but if Ithreal’s essence gets out, then what? You can’t kill a god.”

  I opened my mouth to give my argument, but the words weren’t there. After completing the rite, I knew I had the power to stand up against Ithreal, but I hadn’t considered what I would do after that. “I don’t know.”

  Rayna cupped the side of my face and pressed her lips against mine for a brief kiss. “If Ithreal gets out, we have to find a way to put him back. That’s what I’m worried about.”

  Rayna’s head moved up and down with my chest and as tired as I had been, now my mind was racing. The gods designed the Protector to be able to stop Ithreal, but why didn’t the book tell me what to do? I found myself in another situation lacking the gods’ guidance and it frustrated me.

  I calmed my mind and held Rayna against me. Listening to her breaths helped relax me, and it wasn’t long before the room began to fade.

  Chapter 28

  The pond rippled in front of me as a frog leapt from the shore. The air hung still and heat moved over my skin in a blanket of warmth. The sky was without a cloud and the sun radiated from its peak, pushing back the shadows of darkness. A tranquil feeling stirred inside me and the calmness seemed out of place. With everything that had happened and the coming war, I should’ve been tense and eager. Instead, I watched the sky’s reflection in the water and smiled. The world turned around me, the sun warmed the land, and nature thrived. Whether I was at war with someone else, or myself, this was all still here, a circle of life that stopped for no one—not even the rise of a demon god.

  The grass was short and as I leaned back on my elbows, i
t tickled my skin. A forest grew on top of a cliff, the water sounded in the distance. The setting was so familiar, and even though I knew I was a foreign entity in this place, I felt at home. As though I was meant to exist here.

  “I wondered if I’d see you again.” The voice startled me, although somewhere inside I felt like I should’ve expected it. After all, this was the Fade.

  “Willy!” I shouted.

  I tried to stand, but Willy’s hand rested on my shoulder and he shook his head. He leaned down and sat beside me, staring out at the pond.

  “You did it,” he said. “You completed the rite.”

  “Yes, but you…you’re here. I have so many things I want to tell you, ask you.”

  Willy lifted his head and smiled, squinting in the sunlight that beamed over his face. “We don’t have time for questions, Chase, so I’ll just tell you. I did what I thought I had to do; and no, I don’t regret it. It’s not so bad here. There’s peacefulness to it, as long as you stay out of the hole.”

  “The hole?”

  Willy pointed to the pond. “A lot of the spirits live in the hole. The pond is the doorway, and it’s where the Fade stretches on for eternity. Some of the souls are lost there, unable to find their way back to the light. They just live in their own little world, replaying whatever heaven or hell exists inside them. I don’t want my own world. I’m happy with this one. I’m not the only one either. There are others here—wanderers. No purpose except to exist.”

  “Doesn’t that drive you insane, having no purpose? How can you not be mad at me? Willy, why don’t you—”

  Willy put his hand up to cut me off. “You’re going to wake up soon. There isn’t time for all the questions you want to ask. We’ll get to talk again. You’re a demigod now, Chase. You don’t dream like the rest of the world. Your consciousness wanders to places that most can’t go.” Willy picked a few blades of grass and dragged them gently up his arm. “It’s quiet here, that’s what you need to remember when you think about me. I’m at peace.”

  “It eats away at me, Willy, and it never stops. I let you down. I might let everybody down.”

  “You can’t do that to yourself. You’ve got an eternity ahead of you now. You’re going to watch your friends grow old, get sick, die…and that’s out of your control. Life happens when you’re too busy worrying about what’s already done. You might have eternity, but that doesn’t give you the right to ignore life. No matter when it is or where you are, right now is what’s important. You shouldn’t forget that.”

  “That’s a lot easier said than done, and you know it.”

  Willy shrugged. “I’m allowed to say things like that. It’s what we call the wisdom of the dead. Just take it as it is and trust me, okay?”

  I nodded, struggling to come up with what to say next. I really did have so many questions to ask him, but they were all sitting on the tip of my tongue and none of them wanted to be asked.

  “The reason I’m telling you all this is because it’s going to happen again.”

  “What is?”

  “I made a choice, it didn’t work out for me, and you feel responsible for it. You can’t be responsible for what someone else does, Chase. Things don’t work that way. People are going to do things you’re not going to like, but sometimes it’s what needs to be done. You need to respect that, okay?”

  “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  “I mean you need to accept that you can’t control everybody. You have your actions, your choices, your morals, and that’s it. Everyone else has theirs. It’s not your place to control any life but your own, even if you think you know better.”

  “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”

  “You’re going to face off against Riley and the Brothers. You’ve built your army, they’ve built theirs, and in the middle will be you against a god. You’re going to war and you’re not going alone. Other people are going to be forced to make decisions you can’t control. If you don’t accept those choices, you can’t win.”

  “But if I do accept them, then I can? Willy, you’ve been in this fight. You were alongside me for everything up until…” I shook my head and got up on my knees, looking down at my friend. “If you know something, anything that can help, you need to tell me.”

  Willy didn’t look at me. Instead, his eyes stayed focused on the pond. After a long silence he crawled to his feet and smiled down at me. “I’m in the Fade, which means I’m bound to the same oaths as the god. If I break them, I can be punished. I want to help you, but I’ve told you all I can.”

  “Punished? What do you mean ‘punished’?”

  “This is all I have left.” Willy used his hand to point at the serene landscape around him. “If I break the oath, the gods can obliterate everything that remains of me. I won’t have a memory; I won’t exist. It’ll be like I never was. I’ll just be gone. Everyone who ever knew me will forget. First my face, then my voice, and then one day I just won’t exist anymore. The gods will take my essence and with it, the memory of me. I don’t want to be forgotten. I don’t want to disappear…” Willy took a breath and closed it eyes. “I want you to succeed, Chase, but I can’t tell you anything more.”

  I fought back the tears that burned my eyes and stood to face him. Willy and I stared at each other and I swallowed all the questions I had. “They can’t do that! I won’t let them.”

  Willy smiled. “Don’t quit, Chase. No matter what happens, don’t stop fighting.” He turned and walked back across the grass, his image becoming faded like an old photograph.

  “Wait, where are you going?”

  He plunged both hands in his pockets and didn’t turn around. Willy’s messy brown hair bobbed up and down with each step. “Time to go, Chase. Time to wake up.”

  “No, not yet.”

  “Time to wake up,” he said again. “Don’t forget me.

  ******

  “Chase Williams, come on.” A hand touched my arm, but I couldn’t open my eyes. I wasn’t ready. “Time to wake up, it’s time to go.”

  “What time is it?” I asked, rubbing my face.

  “Morning. Vincent and Chief Sorent have returned.”

  I forced my eyes open and sat up. Tiki’s hair hung in his eyes and purple smears covered his hands. Splotches of the color spackled his chest and stomach with bits stuck in his hair.

  “What happened to you?”

  Tiki looked down at himself and shrugged. “Vesorla!”

  “Vesorla?”

  “Yes, a common water creature found in Drakar. I helped catch them this morning. You are in for a treat at dinner tonight. That is for certain.” Tiki’s face was plastered with a smile.

  “Where’s Rayna?”

  “She wanted a place she could get cleaned up. I took her to a shallow spot near the river. She’ll join us soon. Chief Sorent has requested a meeting with you whenever you’re ready.”

  “I’ll be out in a minute. I just need to…wake up.” I felt strange.

  Tiki nodded and left the tent, leaving me alone with Willy’s voice bouncing through my mind. I had already lost him once, now I was worried I’d lose him again, but the gods wouldn’t really take him away, would they? I tried to ignore the thought. As long as Willy didn’t break their oaths, his memory was safe, and that gave me comfort. It helped that he had said he was at peace, and that put me at ease—for now.

  Tiki washed the purple goop off his hands and chest before taking me through a maze of shacks. Through the labyrinth of trolls and huts stood an open space, fenced in with wooden poles and planks. Inside the fence was luscious blue and red grass. A large garden covered the length on one side, and the other side was landscaped with flowers and trees. In the center, a shale path led to a tent much larger than the rest.

  Tiki held open one side of the doorway and a flood of heat slipped out into the cold morning air. Half-melted candles sat around a long and narrow wooden table. Chief Sorent sat at the head of the table with Garsmith to his right, and Ishmar to his
left. Ishmar was half troll and half giant. I had never figured out how exactly that worked. My mind couldn’t compute the idea. Then again, I had never actually seen a giant so I only had my imagination to work with.

  Ishmar had a few fresh scars, but he seemed in high spirits. When his eyes met mine, a wide smile crossed his mouth, revealing stained and wooden-like teeth. Garsmith gave me a sly grin as we walked toward the table that sat a dozen creatures on either side.

  “Chase Williams,” Sorent said, clearing his throat. “It’s a pleasure to see you again. I admit I was sad to hear I had missed your previous visit. I hope Garsmith was welcoming.”

  “Very much so.”

  I reached for one of the two open chairs. It was wooden, held together with strands of vine, and it squeaked and shifted as I lowered myself into it. My eyes panned from one side of the table to another. I recognized some of the creatures from those who had spit on us at the market, but I didn’t know what they were called. Horns protruded from some of their faces and ears like tribal piercings. Others had large teeth that scooped from the bottom of their jaws like a boar’s. Black eyes stared back at me and a sticky-looking film covered the skin of the demon closest to me. He had a head shaped like a bull and the snout that went with it. His massive arms had scar-like tattoos raised off his dark brown skin, and he grunted when I looked at him.

  I shifted in the chair again, noting the small man at the far end of the table. His red eyes were fierce, his body plump and short, and his face twisted with revulsion. At first I thought it was because I was human, or at least I was, and then I considered that it was probably because I looked like a half-breed. None of the pure bloods seemed to care much for them. But the longer I looked at him, the more recognition that came with his face. I shuddered. He was a goblin, and not just any goblin, he was Galthor.

  Galthor had been the goblin I traded my blood for in exchange for travel to Alkalina Lake. He had given me Rai, which at the time, I hadn’t realized was more than just a very small bird. Expressing my frustration had made him angry, which broke the first rule of dealing with goblins: an angry goblin is not your friend. The look in his eyes told me he hadn’t forgotten me either.