Just a Little Crush (Crush #1)

by Renita Pizzitola

  “Happy birthday,” I whispered as sleepiness took hold and my eyelids drifted shut.

  “You make me happy,” he said, his words almost inaudible. His clutch around my waist tightened as he pulled me closer. “I hate to think some other guy will get the other half of that.”

  “Other half of what?” I stifled a yawn.

  “That.” The word slipped out on a drowsy sigh and the arm draped over me grew heavier. “You. Everything.”

  What was he talking about? Maybe he was drunker than I’d realized.

  “What just happened was only a piece of it, but I want it all…” His words drifted off and his breathing slowed to a steady rhythm.

  “Ryder?”

  There was no response. I flipped to face him and his hand moved with me, pulling me closer. With his head resting against mine, he curled around me. His scent filled me as I buried my face into his chest. It hadn’t occurred to me he even had a scent, but now surrounded by it, I realized it was something I’d come to associate with him. A mixture of soap, aftershave and a hint of something else. Something unique to him. Something that always made me want to run my tongue up his neck, to his mouth, ending with the cool metal of his lip ring.

  On my nightstand, his phone chimed. I glanced behind me and could just make out the screen.

  Paige: Where are you?

  Considering he was in my bed, I shouldn’t be jealous but I was. Who was Paige? Did he have plans with her after me? Was he not supposed to fall asleep? Or what if I hadn’t practically thrown myself at him, would he be with her right now? His phone rang and the screen lit up. Paige flashed across the screen along with a picture. One of a smiling girl…and Ryder. They were sitting next to each other as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

  Ryder stirred. The phone rang once more before growing quiet, then alerted him of another message.

  Paige: I’m going to bed. Wake me when you get here.

  Ryder rubbed his eyes. “Is that mine?”

  I answered in a forced drowsy tone. “Huh? Um, yeah, I guess. Not mine.”

  He reached over me and plucked his phone from the small table. “Fuck,” he muttered. He shoved it in his pocket. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

  Something shattered inside my chest. “Oh, no problem.”

  Ryder stared at me. The room was dark and it was difficult to make out his expression. He ran his finger along my cheek then pressed his lips to my forehead.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  He nodded and sat upright.

  I stood to allow him to get up without crawling over me.

  He opened my door. “I’ll call you.”

  I followed and placed my hand on the knob.

  He glanced back and studied me.

  I tried to mask the emotions raging through me. “Okay.” My stomach was twisted with jealousy and anger. He was leaving me to be with another girl. I shouldn’t be surprised but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

  He reached out and, with his hand behind my neck, pulled me to him and planted his mouth against mine. He kissed my bottom lip. Once. Twice. Then ran his tongue along my mouth, urging my lips to part. He tilted his head and swept his tongue along mine.

  Heat radiated down my body and the passionate kiss stole my breath. But Paige’s image popped to mind. What was I doing? Dammit, it was like a kiss from him shut down some critical part of my brain.

  He shifted, fitting my body to his. The kiss had awoken his needs again, his hardness pressed into my lower abdomen. His free hand dropped to my waist and slid over my ass, but I placed my hand on his chest and stepped back.

  If he wanted to kiss me, he needed to choose me tonight.

  Then, just as suddenly as it began, he broke free and yanked his hands from my body. “See ya.”

  He turned, leaving me standing in the doorway, acutely aware that he was going to find relief with some other girl.

  Chapter Nine

  My phone wasn’t broken. I’d checked. I’d even borrowed Fallon’s phone to ensure mine worked. But Ryder hadn’t called since leaving my place the night before.

  When it finally rang, a sense of happy excitement settled over me until I saw it wasn’t him.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey,” Mason said. “I just got out of work and I’m starving. Want to grab dinner?”

  “Sure.”

  “Meet me downstairs in ten?”

  “Yeah.” I hung up and slipped on my shoes. “I’m going to eat with Mason.”

  Fallon didn’t look up from her laptop. “Okay.”

  Since Mason had lied about their hooking up, she’d seemingly lost interest in him. It was good and bad. I didn’t really want them together, but at the same time I hated that Mason’s drunk stupidity had given Fallon such a bad impression of him.

  I headed downstairs and found Mason already waiting.

  A guy in a crisp white polo leaned against the wall near the elevators. He said something to his friend, who turned, stared at me, then nodded. The one in the polo smiled.

  I forced a smile in return. He was average-looking, but something about his grin seemed predatory. Like he already had me mentally undressed.

  Mason, busy texting someone, didn’t notice. “Hey.” He typed something, then shoved his phone in his pocket. “Ready?”

  The guy still watched me and I scooted closer to Mason. “Yep.”

  “Where do you want to eat?” He held the door open and I slipped past.

  “You choose.” The lack of a phone call from a certain someone was holding my appetite at bay.

  “Amy’s Pho?”

  I shrugged. “Sure.”

  We made our way to the restaurant, which sat on the strip adjacent to campus, ordered at the counter, then slid into a booth. When the waiter delivered the bowls, he did a double take. He stared at me a few seconds longer than comfortably acceptable.

  I was starting to get a complex. Mason would tell me if something was on my face, right? When the guy walked away, I said, “Be right back.”

  I darted into the bathroom and checked my hair, my teeth, even made sure my clothes weren’t inside out. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

  Mason was already halfway through his bowl of pho when I returned. How did he eat so fast?

  “So what’s up?” he asked, his mouth full of noodles.

  “Not much.” This was one of those moments a girl best friend would come in handy. I wanted to share what had happened between Ryder and me but there was no way I could tell Mason any of that. “How about you?”

  Mason started talking about his study group and a cute girl who had recently joined. I listened but my mind kept drifting to Ryder. And Paige. Who was she? And why did Ryder go to her last night?

  “Isn’t that Noah?” Mason asked.

  My head snapped up and I glanced around.

  Sure enough, Noah stood near the entrance, speaking with the waiter who’d brought us our food. Noah smiled and laughed, then the guy nodded in my direction, causing Noah and me to make eye contact. His smile faded and his gaze dropped.

  “That’s weird,” Mason said. “Must be pissed about you and Ryder.”

  “I guess.” My face grew warm. How much did Noah really know? Would Ryder have told him about last night? I stared into my noodle bowl.

  “Well, at least you don’t have to deal with him asking you out anymore.”

  “Yeah,” I said again, taking a bite and changing the subject. “So what are your plans this weekend?”

  “Not sure. Want to hang out?”

  It was weird he felt the need to ask considering only a few weeks ago it was implied we’d do something together. I didn’t know what to make of our growing apart.

  Before I could answer, Mason said, “Ryder just walked in…with a girl.”

  My head spun as I looked over to where Noah stood. Paige. The girl from the picture on Ryder’s phone. I turned back to Mason and let my hair drop, covering my face. A mixture of jealousy, anger and hur
t somersaulted in my chest. Technically, Ryder and I weren’t exclusive—heck, we weren’t even dating—but that didn’t mean I wanted to see him with someone else. “Maybe he won’t notice me.”

  “What’s going on?” Mason straightened his shoulders and glared at Ryder.

  “Nothing.”

  “He’s staring at you. They all are. And Ryder looks like he wants to kill someone.”

  I peeked back. The waiter had his hands up in a defensive gesture. Ryder towered over Noah, who only smirked in return. Ryder shoved him.

  Paige jumped between them. She placed a hand on each guy’s chest then shifted toward Ryder. He glanced at me, shook his head and slammed the door open. He stomped out as Paige said something to Noah. She pointed at the door and gave him a nudge in that direction and followed him out. The waiter, looking relieved, shook his head and turned to the kitchen.

  “What the hell was that about?” Mason asked.

  “I dunno,” I mumbled. What had that been? And why did it seem to somehow involve me, yet no one had said two words to me.

  “I’m going to find out.” Mason slid out of the booth.

  “No,” I yelped. I lowered my voice. “No, please. Just sit back down. It’s nothing, I’m sure.” With my hand on his arm, I stared at him, imploring him not to make a scene.

  He glanced at my hand, then slumped in his seat and grumbled, “It doesn’t look like nothing.”

  Ryder and Noah stood on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. The large glass windows comprising the storefront left the whole argument visible, and even without sound, it was clearly a heated one. If they turned my way, they’d bust me watching, but I couldn’t look away.

  Noah shrugged, smirked and walked away. Ryder started to storm after him but Paige stepped in front of him. She placed her palm against his cheek and his shoulders dropped. He looked defeated, or maybe calmed by her touch. It was weird, whatever it was. She looked up, her eyes wide, and said something. He shook his head, then she wrapped her arms around him and he rested his chin on her head. She pulled back, squeezed his shoulders and gestured toward me as she spoke. Ryder lowered his head and nodded, never once looking my way. She crossed her arms, glared at him and pointed at me again. He shook his head before walking off.

  What the hell?

  “Nothing, huh?” Mason scoffed. “What the hell’s going on, Brinley?”

  My throat tightened and my eyes stung a little. I grabbed my Diet Coke and took a sip. “I honestly have no idea,” I finally managed. Settling back in the booth, I pushed my bowl away, having lost all appetite. “Here, you can have it.” Mason had long since inhaled his food but he wavered.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Eat it.”

  “Not about your damn food. I mean with Ryder. Is there something I should know?” He grabbed my bowl and raised a spoonful of noodles. “Did something happen between you two?” He shoved the bite in his mouth.

  “Not really. We hung out last night, but that’s it.”

  He swallowed, his eyes bulged. “You hung out? What does that mean? And when did you plan to tell me?”

  I rolled my eyes. “ ‘We hung out’ means we hung out. And I didn’t know I was supposed to turn a logbook in to you. Geez, Mason, I can hang out with other people.”

  “This is Ryder we’re talking about. I don’t think he hangs out merely for the benefit of your pleasant company.” He shoveled in another bite.

  He’d been drunk, but he didn’t try for sex. Regardless of what Mason thought. “You hang out with me for my company. Why can’t other guys?”

  “Let’s just get this straight. One, I’ve known you forever. You tolerate me and we’re friends. But two, if you let me…I’d totally have sex with you.”

  “Mason!” I crossed my arms.

  He laughed. “Come on, Brinley. You know you’re hot. I’ve told you so a million times. I’m a guy. That’s pretty much all we think about. Don’t act surprised.”

  “But you’re my friend.”

  “And I always will be. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t f—”

  “Stop.” I glared. “Don’t talk like that. You’re ruining everything.”

  “What?” He laughed. “How in the world does that ruin everything? This isn’t new information.”

  “Because you were only joking. It’s a joke. You didn’t mean it.”

  “Oh, I meant it, but yeah, sure, I like to tease you about it. Why are you getting so weird about it now?”

  Because he’d kissed me. Of course that was why. He’d crossed the friendship boundary and pushed right on over into the not-a-joke territory. “I’d like to think a guy can hang out with me and not be thinking about how to get into my pants.”

  “Again…have you seen your ass in those jeans?”

  I tried not to smile but it broke free. “I hate you.”

  “No, you love me.” He finished off the last of my noodles with one big bite. “I’m not trying to get you into bed.” He grabbed my hand and helped me up. “The floor would do just fine.”

  I pulled my hand free and shoved him. He laughed and draped his arm over my shoulder. “Now, is there anything I need to know? Be honest.”

  Did he need to know Ryder had given me my first orgasm? “No. Trust me, there’s not.”

  —

  When I returned to my dorm room, Fallon informed me we were going out. Girls night.

  “Mason’s forbidden. Got that?” She gave me a pointed stare. “You can’t invite him. No boys at all.”

  “But won’t there be boys at the party?” I asked.

  “Well, duh. Of course. And that’s why we go alone. So we are free to pick and choose.” She dug around in her closet. “Look, I’m glad you and Mason have patched things up but you need to branch out. And honestly, I’m tired of you moping around about Ryder.”

  She didn’t know about his late-night visit. And after what had happened at lunch, it was probably for the best. When it was just Ryder and me, everything seemed perfect, but then things like today happened and I was back to not knowing what to think about us. “I’m not moping.”

  She rolled her eyes and shoved a dress at me. “ ‘Will you call my phone? Is it working? Why hasn’t it rung?’ Blegh.” She stuck her tongue out. “No guy is worth that. Not even someone as insanely fuckable as Ryder Briggs. Try that on.” She gestured to the dress I held against my chest.

  I tossed it onto the bed and peeled off my shirt, slipped the dress on, then dropped my jeans from under it.

  Her face pinched on the side as she twisted her lips and studied me. “Nope.” She spun back to her closet and pulled out a blue dress. “Here.”

  “This is like three sizes too small,” I pointed out.

  “It stretches. Put it on.”

  I yanked off the first dress and forced the other over my boobs and down my body. “Oh my God. I don’t think I can breathe.”

  “It’s spandex. You can breathe, it just feels tight. Get used to it. You’re wearing it.”

  “What? Are you kidding me? I feel like a sausage on a stick.”

  “Well, you look like sex on a stick, all tan skin, blue eyes, long legs. Guys will go crazy. You’re wearing it. Trust me, I don’t like the idea of you looking so damn hot in my dress either, but if you can meet someone to get your mind off Ryder, it’s worth it.”

  I glanced in the full-length mirror. Every single curve of my body, down to my hip bones, was visible through the skintight, strapless dress. I shook my head. “Um, no. No way in hell. I’m not wearing this.”

  “Oh, please, you have a hot body. Quit acting like you don’t know that. And show it off already.”

  “I might as well be naked. Or shit, just paint a dress on me. It’s the same thing.”

  “Not really. If it were paint I’d be able to see a lot more. This is quite modest compared to body paint. For Halloween, I…”

  I shook my head and tuned her out. I headed to the bed and picked up my favorite jeans. According to Mason, they
made my ass look good. That was something, right?

  She yanked them out of my hands. “No way. So help me God, I will shred these if you try to wear them instead of that sexy-as-fucking-hell dress.”

  I yelled, “No! I love those jeans.”

  “Then wear the dress.”

  “I feel like a—”

  “Like a what? What does wearing my dress make you feel like?” She crossed her arms.

  “Not like myself.”

  “Exactly.” She pulled out a tiny pair of shorts and a top for herself. “Now put some makeup on. It’s almost time to go.”

  Some mascara, lip gloss and two shots of tequila later, she’d persuaded me to leave wearing the might-as-well-be-body-paint dress.

  The frat party was crowded when we arrived. A guy bumped into me as I stepped through the door and I was ninety-nine percent confident he copped a feel while steadying himself.

  Fallon led me toward the back. With every step I took, my shoes made this weird slurping sound as they peeled off then restuck to the beer-soaked floor. Fallon said something and I shook my head and raised my hands palm up. They’d gone all out for the party and hired a deejay, making it impossible to hear anything over the thumping speakers.

  She leaned toward me and yelled in my ear, “Beer. We’re getting beer.”

  I nodded and followed her. She stopped in front of several large galvanized oval tubs. Like troughs. For beer. Classy. She smiled at some guy and he reached in and produced two silver cans, then tapped his cheek. I tried not to gag while Fallon leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek.

  She placed a beer in my hand.

  “Please tell me you know him.” I popped the top of the can.

  “Sure. He’s the guy with the beer.” She smiled and grabbed my hand. “Look, there’s Dani.”

  A girl in jeans and a tank top approached. I bit back jealousy that she got to wear jeans.

  “Hey. Dani, this is my roommate, Brinley.” She gestured toward me.

  “Hi.” I offered a small wave.

  “Nice dress.”

  With a tug on the hem, I said, “Thanks.”

  Dani’s gaze roamed down and back up. Slowly. She whispered something to Fallon, who shook her head. Dani frowned. “Bummer. She’s hot.”