Guarding Gaby

by Jean Brashear

  “I was worried.” He made as if to enter and frowned when she didn’t budge. “Maria said you were sick. Thought I might need to take you to the doctor in Alpine.”

  If only that doctor would make house calls, she thought. And would keep his mouth shut. “I’m better now. Just…tired. A lot has happened. I seem to have hit a wall.”

  His frown deepened. “If you’d come to my house, Maria and I could take care of you. You wouldn’t have to lift a finger.”

  The notion of Maria’s tender concern warmed her, and she could honestly smile. “That’s really sweet, but I just need to be alone.” She forced herself to meet his gaze. “I-I’m trying to come to terms with how my father died.” She watched him carefully to see his reaction.

  All she could spot was sympathy. Could Eli seriously be right? Was Chad a good actor himself or was he innocent?

  “I’m doing everything I can to find his murderer, I swear it.”

  He never even called in a crime scene unit from DPS. Confronting Chad about that was on the tip of her tongue.

  But then she remembered Eli’s reaction this morning. It’s a very long story, Gaby, and I want to give you all the details, but right now isn’t the time.

  She relented. Too much she didn’t understand. She couldn’t be sure of her footing yet. “Thank you, Chad.” She yawned. “Sorry. Haven’t made coffee.”

  He grinned, and for a second, he looked like the boy she’d had a crush on. “Can you brew enough for two?”

  Oh, no. She wasn’t up to small talk. She hesitated.

  He frowned. “Never mind. I’m tired myself. Out late last night.”

  Searching for Eli? Fear raced through her, but she forced herself to think what she would have asked if she hadn’t spoken to Eli. “How’s your deputy?”

  Chad’s face darkened. “He’ll make it, but he won’t be using a pistol anytime soon.”

  “I’m sorry. I guess that leaves you shorthanded.” Maybe she could glean some helpful information, after all. Even though she didn’t really understand what Eli needed.

  “Yeah.”

  “You look tired, Chad. Can’t you take the day off?”

  His expression was grim. “Not until we’ve caught Eli.”

  “What about calling in extra help?”

  “From where?” His gaze sharpened.

  She shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know…DPS, maybe? What do rural sheriffs do when they need more manpower?”

  “I don’t want the state boys meddling in my county.” His jaw clenched. “Anyway, we only have one viable suspect.”

  “But—” She’d hoped Eli had been wrong about Chad not calling for help.

  He stared at her hard. “But what?”

  Ease up, Gaby. Step softly. She found a smile. “Oh, listen to me, acting like I know the first thing about your work. Sorry. You just seem exhausted.”

  He smiled back. “Nice of you to worry about me.” He trailed one finger over her cheek and let it linger at the corner of her mouth.

  Gaby shivered, and his smile widened. “When this is over, Gabriela…” His eyes spoke volumes.

  “I—I’ll be leaving soon.”

  His brows snapped together again. “For New York?”

  She shrugged. “I do have a job there, after all.”

  “So you’re planning to go for good? You’re ready to sell?”

  How she wished she knew what answer would help Eli most, but for now, perhaps the best she could do was to keep things ambiguous. “I’m not sure. I need to wrap some things up at work if I’m going to take more time to finalize things here or…” She looked up at him through her lashes. “Or if I decide to return for a while.” She sank her head against the door. “I honestly have no idea what I want to do, Chad.” That was the most truthful thing she’d said to him. “I can’t seem to think straight.”

  His gaze softened. His hand stroked down her arm, and she forced herself not to flinch. “It’s a tough time you’re going through, babe. Just remember that I’m here to help you.”

  He bent as if to kiss her, but quickly she dropped her gaze to the floor as though she hadn’t seen and stepped back. “Thank you, Chad. I appreciate your concern. Have a good day.” She started to close the door.

  He hesitated, then backed away. “Sleep well, babe.”

  “You, too.” Slower than she wanted to, she shut the door and only barely resisted the urge to lock it until after he was out of hearing.

  Quickly, she made her way to her bedroom to dress. As she pulled clothes from the bureau drawers, her gaze inevitably snagged on the top one. She set aside the garments and opened it.

  The first thing she spotted was a circlet braided from grasses Eli had woven together for her one night as they sat beneath the stars.

  “You ever think about what’s out there?” she’d asked him.

  He’d glanced up, longing plain on his face. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “No air to breathe. Don’t want to be stuck in some little compartment or some bulky suit.”

  “What if there’s another world like ours?”

  “One’s enough.” He’d kept his focus on his fingers as they worked their magic.

  “What do you dream of, Eli?” She hadn’t been able to take her gaze off those fingers, either. Shivered as she imagined them on her skin.

  “Being free. Leaving.” His voice had been nearly too low to hear. “Taking you with me.”

  Her breath had caught at the notion.

  “Where would you want to go?” he’d asked. He’d looked at her then, and she’d had the sense that her answer was important.

  “New York, maybe. Paris or London. Eli, just think of all we could see. Everything we could do.” She’d turned to him then, excitement jumping in her veins. “We could have a loft, and I could be a writer and you could—” She’d stopped because she could see his disappointment, like some test she hadn’t passed, but she’d persisted, anyway. “What would you like to be? Anything—you decide.”

  He’d stared into the distance for a really long time, and she’d tried to picture him in a big city. Had known, even then, so young and silly, that Eli belonged to the land, that he needed space, that he’d suffocate in all those crowds she craved to join.

  When no answer had come, she’d reached out and placed one hand on his arm, caught by the notion that Eli was an eagle trapped in a cage, desperate to soar. She’d leaned her head on his shoulder, wishing she knew what to do for him—

  He’d slipped the bracelet on her wrist. “I love you,” he’d whispered, but he hadn’t sounded very happy about it. He had, instead, seemed really, really sad.

  Then he’d risen and pulled her up with him and started walking her home.

  Gaby removed the bracelet from her drawer, wary that it would crumble after sitting in this dry heat so long.

  But it held as she slid it on her wrist.

  However far he’d traveled, she realized Eli was still an eagle. Still trapped, this time by the past.

  He’d set her free, during all those hours spent together under the cover of darkness. He’d told her she could fly, could be or do anything she wanted.

  She knew far too little about Eli’s past, but whatever she could do to give him a future, she would. Even though that future wouldn’t be shared with her.

  She dressed in a hurry. She had much to do before dark.

  Two hours past sunset. Where was she? Eli paced the cave. He’d rested and eaten and consumed an ocean’s worth of water. His ankle wasn’t as bad as he’d feared last night, and now, with it wrapped tightly, he would get by. No fancy cuts or open-field running, not yet, but he could manage the walk to her house—

  And he would, weak or not, if she didn’t show up very soon. Only the knowledge that they might miss each other along the way kept him in place.

  But not much longer.

  He growled and raked the fingers of his good arm through his hair, executing a half-turn to cover the length of what wa
s beginning to feel like a jail cell. For the thousandth time in the last hour, he checked his watch.

  What the devil was keeping her? His mind was racing overtime. He’d give her ten more—

  “What are you doing up?”

  He whirled and nearly fell over but recovered quickly. “Where have you been?”

  She recoiled at the anger he couldn’t keep out of his voice. “I asked first. Your ankle’s hurt. Why are you putting weight on it? And how’s your arm? Have you had anything to eat?”

  “That’s four questions. Answer me first.”

  Her chin jutted forward. “A little overbearing, aren’t we?”

  He gripped her arm. “I’m serious, Gaby. Are you all right? Did you have trouble getting here? I should never have let you go out without the night vision goggles, but they take some getting used to—”

  She smiled. Pressed her palm to his cheek. “You were worried about me.”

  He couldn’t help his double take. “Of course. Gaby—” He started to pace again, so he wouldn’t grab her and never let go. “I’ve decided. If you really want to help, leaving is the only—”

  “You’ve decided.” Her tone was neutral. Maybe too neutral. “Just send the little woman out of the way, right? Never mind that you’re injured, that you bled all over—” Her voice caught, and she spun away, shaking her head.

  “It’s not like that,” he insisted.

  She whipped back, her back straight, her eyes bright—

  Tears spilling down her cheeks.

  Then he understood. She was scared. For him.

  “Don’t,” he said softly. “Don’t cry for me, Gaby. I’m not worth it.” He went to her, gathered her close. “I’m fine.”

  “Liar.” She sniffed. Rubbed her face into his throat. “Eli, can’t we just go away together? Leave this place for good?”

  “You can. You should.”

  “But not you.”

  He shook his head and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I’ll be a fugitive the rest of my life if I don’t clear myself. I’m tired of running, Gaby. I want to come home.” He paused, shocked that it was true. “Wherever that is. I’m not sure anymore.”

  She clutched at his waist. “Me, either.”

  With me, he longed to say. Your home is with me. But he had little more to offer her than before.

  They stood in silent communion, united for the first time in so many years. Yearning filled him, and beneath it, the low hum of desire, but however much he wanted her body still, he wanted much more with her. So much they might never share.

  But for now, for these precious minutes, this was enough.

  Finally, she spoke. “Can you tell me now? What’s going on? When I saw Chad today, it was—”

  He drew back. “You saw him? When? What did he say?”

  She wiped her eyes, then sighed. “Come sit down. Please. I brought you fresh tortillas and carne asada. You can eat while I talk, then it’s your turn.” She was all business now.

  He wanted the soft girl back, but she was right. They had more serious matters to deal with, however much he’d like to lock the world away and make love to her until neither of them could move.

  So he lightened the mood. “Who made the tortillas?”

  “I did. And the asada. I even brought you a tres leches cake.”

  He grinned. She’d remembered his sweet tooth. “So New York hasn’t ruined the best cook I ever knew?”

  “Close. I hardly ever cook anymore.” She smiled, but something sad crossed her face. “But it’s amazing what comes back to you.” Her gaze locked on his, and the memories of dozens of dark nights flowed between them.

  “Here,” she said, opening a towel that was keeping the food warm. “Eat before it gets cold.”

  He quickly rolled a tortilla and stuffed it in his mouth, groaning his pleasure.

  Gaby smiled and began to tell him about her day.

  “Let me get this straight,” Gaby said a while later. “Your mother was Chad’s father’s mistress?”

  “Yeah.” Eli’s expression was bleak. “When I was seven, I saw him kill a guy in cold blood.”

  Gaby couldn’t help her gasp. “Did he know that?”

  “Not until later. I couldn’t understand why my mother put up with the way he treated her.” Eli fell silent, his jaw working. “He beat her sometimes. Me, too, when he could catch me. I learned to stay out of his way.”

  “Is that why—” She glanced around the cave.

  He nodded. “He wasn’t so rough on her if I wasn’t around. Something about me just set him off. I wanted to protect her, but—” He shrugged one shoulder.

  “You were a child, Eli. What could you do?”

  “Something.” His face was hard. “I learned to pay attention. I followed him at night, sometimes. That’s when I discovered that he wasn’t content with a sheriff’s salary or a rancher’s income.” He glanced at her. “He headed a drug smuggling ring. The man he killed was one of his who got greedy.”

  “Are you serious? But he was the law.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Couldn’t you tell someone?”

  “Who? It was no different then than now. He ruled by fear. Not that I didn’t try. The night you and Chad found me? That was his handiwork.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “That’s who beat you?” Outrage sizzled. “Why?”

  “I was young and stupid. I’d put the pieces together and decided it was time to use what I knew as leverage to make him stay away from my mother. I confronted him.” Eli’s mouth turned down. “He just laughed.”

  “Laughed?”

  “Said my mother was in it up to her eyeballs. That he’d see that she went to jail if I breathed a word. As he pointed out, who would believe a kid everyone thought was crazy, the son of a whore, when put up against the word of an officer of the law? He didn’t beat me himself that time, though. He wanted to keep his hands clean. He had one of his men take me out in the desert and teach me a lesson.”

  “Eli, you nearly died. If Chad and I hadn’t—” She pressed her lips together.

  “Yeah.” His chuckle was strained. “Guess I have to thank ol’ Chad’s libido. If you two hadn’t been headed that way to make out, the sheriff’s problems would have been solved.” Then he looked up at her. “I could never figure out what turned you into my guardian angel after that, though.”

  She smiled softly. “There was just something special about you…”

  “No one but you thought that. I still don’t get why you did. And I know Chad has hated my guts ever since.”

  “Oh, Eli.” She reached for his hand.

  He tensed, then took it. He glanced down, and his eyes widened. “You still have it.”

  Gaby squeezed his hand as he traced the circlet with one finger. “I have everything you ever gave me.” When his surprised gaze rose, she held it. “The arrowhead, the eagle feather, the sandstone you carved with our names.”

  Eli flushed. “Big spender, that’s me. Nothing but the best.”

  “Don’t make fun. It was the best time of my life.”

  He glanced up, disbelieving. “That can’t be.”

  “You devastated me when you left, Eli. I would never have been ready to let you go, but especially not…that night.”

  He exhaled a long, low gust. “I wanted to make love to you so badly. It nearly killed me to keep my hands off you all those many months.”

  “Why did you?” She’d always wondered.

  His eyes locked on hers. “Because you were always meant to leave here. To have more than I could ever give you.”

  “So you walked away, just like that. Decided what was best for me.” Rage seemed to swallow her whole just then, and she broke their clasp. She rose, too angry to sit still.

  “No.”

  “You always called the shots, Eli. Did that ever dawn on you that—” She halted, his answer at last sinking in. “No? What does that mean?”

  “You never got my message, did you?”

&nbs
p; “What message?”

  He leaned his head back against the cave wall, looking exhausted again. “Never mind. Water under the bridge.”

  “No, it’s not. My whole life changed that night. I thought you didn’t care, that I’d misunderstood everything I believed was between us. I went to every place we’d ever been, checked any spot where you’d left me a note. I couldn’t believe you’d just walk away like that, not even after—”

  His eyes opened. “After my mother died, and Sheriff Anderson told everyone I did it. Right?”

  He looked worn out. “Forget it. You need to rest, Eli.”

  He rose to sitting. “No. Damn it, no. You were the only person who ever believed in me. I gave you up to save you, don’t you get that? I didn’t want to go, but if I’d stayed, you’d never have left, and you were meant for more, so much more. So when the sheriff threatened you, I had no choice.”

  “Chad’s dad…threatened me?”

  “I was careless, the last night I left you. So besotted that all I could think of was you. I knew better, but I let myself forget that we could never work, and I was so caught up spinning dreams of making love to you and running away with you, that I blew it. He was out checking on something related to his smuggling that night, and he saw us part. He didn’t know it wasn’t the first time. He told me that you were meant for Chad and I would not screw that up, that you’d be safe if I left you alone, but he’d rather see you dead than with me.”

  His eyes were bleak. “Reality set in then. You were on the verge of a very bright future. You’d entrusted me with your dreams of a scholarship, and I was sure you’d get it. And not only could I not offer you any of the world you longed to join, but now I posed a danger to you.” His shoulders sagged. “I accepted that I couldn’t have you. I went to my mother and begged her one more time to break things off with the sheriff because I was old enough to take care of her. We would go away and start a new life. I asked her to pack while I went to see you one last time. She cried and begged me not to take the risk. I told her everything would be fine. Then I left to meet you that night, knowing that it would be the end of everything beautiful I’d ever experienced.

  “But when I arrived at our meeting place, instead of you, it was your father waiting.”