by Elise Marion
“I think we all know what kind of man you are,” Jack growled. “And from what I gather, your little onetime thing was just that—a onetime thing. You’re an idiot if you think anything else is happening outside of that.”
Micah curled his upper lip and leaned down until he and Jack were almost nose to nose. “Tell that to her. She was the one beggin’ for more.”
Addison couldn’t move fast enough to stop Jack’s reaction. His roar of anger sent Micah into the kitchen, propelled by his invisible voice waves. Micah landed on the table, splintering it and one of the chairs as he hit the floor so hard, it made the apartment shake. Before Micah could sit up, Jack was on him, driving a knee into his chest and pinning him down. Fisting his T-shirt, he drew back a fist and slammed it into Micah’s face. A spray of blood stained his fist, but he went back for more, striking him again and making his head snap back, lolling on his shoulders.
Micah recovered quickly, reaching out to grab hold of Jack’s throat and throwing him off. She moved just in time to avoid Jack’s flying body, which snapped the coffee table in half as he tumbled on top of it and across the carpet.
“Stop it!” she screamed, making a grab of Micah as he stomped by, following Jack. He ignored her, even as she grabbed the back of shirt and tried to pull him back.
He drew his foot back and kicked Jack in the ribs. Jack grunted, his body jolting from the impact. Micah’s fist went up, then came down, returning hit for hit and slamming into Jack’s eye.
By the time Jack made his way to his feet and raised his fist to retaliate, Addison had decided she’d had enough.
Raising her hands, she caught hold of them both using telepathy and threw them to opposite sides of the room, using invisible barriers to keep them from lunging at each other again. They bashed against the invisible shields, both growling and snarling like a couple of wild animals.
“That’s enough!” she snapped, her gaze darting back and forth between them. “This is ridiculous. You two are grown men and best friends, to boot.”
“Not anymore,” Jack grumbled, one hand pressed against his undoubtedly sore ribs.
Micah glowered at him silently from the opposite side of the room.
“This is my fault,” she said, bringing their attention back to her. “I am the problem here. If you two want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. But don’t do this to each other. You were together long before I came around, and you’ll be together long after I’m gone.”
Jack frowned, trying to take a step toward her, but still trapped by her unseen walls around him. “Gone? Where are you going?”
She’d come to the decision while watching them nearly kill each other. She couldn’t bring herself to come between two best friends, no matter how much she loved one and … well, didn’t really know how she felt about the other, if she were being honest with herself.
“I’m going to call Reniel and have him find another place for me to stay.” She shrugged. “I’ve gotta go clean out Mama’s trailer. Maybe one of the other Guardians will want to bunk up with me there. I just know that I can’t be responsible for tearing you two apart.”
“Cher, wait—” Micah interjected.
She held a hand up, silencing him. “You guys need to work this out. Somehow, you have to forgive each other. I’m not worth all of this.”
Releasing the bonds keeping them back, she marched toward the bedroom, determination keeping her shoulders squared and her chin raised. Inside, she was a mess who only wanted to sink to her knees on the carpet and cry for what she was losing. Jack had given her so much in the short time they’d been together. And despite Micah’s faults, he’d given her just as much, in the way only he knew how.
“We still have a mission to complete and a war to win,” she reminded them, pausing between them on her way to the bedroom. “That is more important that any of this. Heaven needs you … both of you, together. Not torn apart and trying to kill each other.”
Continuing on, she left them in the living room, determined not to look back. If she did, she knew she’d find herself torn on which of them to comfort first.
Their dejected stares followed her down the hall.
Chapter Sixteen: Confession
Micah stood in front of the closed door, staring down at the thin beam of light shining from beneath it. The house had gone quiet as death, but he knew she was on the other side. After Addison had announced she’d be leaving, Jack had gotten dressed and left the apartment, going God knew where. Micah had resumed his place in his chair, intending to continue getting good and drunk. The left side of his face had started to swell and throbbed, along with his knuckles, bruised from Jack’s apparently unbreakable skull.
Hesitation wasn’t like him, and holding back had never been his style. Yet, when it came to Addison, he found himself on a slippery slope with no idea how to find firm footing. He remained unsure of what he’d say once he’d knocked and she answered the door; he only knew he had to. He couldn’t let her leave without saying … something. Working up the nerve, he finally raised his fist and knocked.
Just as he’d expected, she was awake. When she opened the door, the covers of the bed appeared mussed, but not slept in. An open notebook and pen rested near the pillow. On the floor, a duffel bag held her meager belongings.
Her face stayed passive, betraying not an ounce of emotion, making him even more uncertain.
“Let me in,” he said gruffly, for lack of anything else to say.
She stared at him silently for a moment, as if deciding if she should give him entrance or not. Her lips were pinched, her face drawn, eyes red and puffy from crying.
After a moment, she stepped back from the door and stood aside. “Why are you here, Micah?”
He left the door open and moved to the center of the room, uncertain of whether to sit or stand, look at her or not, touch her or … no, touching her would definitely be a bad idea.
“I need to ask you somethin’,” he blurted without thinking. Then, he took a deep breath and sighed. “Okay, I need to ask you a question, but then, I need to say somethin’, too.”
Addison turned to face him, hands folded in front of her. “I’m listening.”
“When you told Jack what happened … what did you say?”
She sighed, her expression resigned, as if she’d known this was coming. He hated putting her through this after all that had already happened, but he had to know for his own sake. He had to know, and so did she.
“I told him that things were hard for us after he died. I told him that we became friends after having to learn how to rely on each other without him. Then I told him the truth. We let it go further than friendship and we had sex.”
Micah nodded. Cut and dry. The truth. And yet …
“Did you tell him that I’ve never been with anyone the way I was with you?” he asked, his voice lower and rougher than he’d anticipated. “Or that when I kissed you that first time, I never wanted to stop?”
Somehow, he seemed incapable of pretense around her any longer. There didn’t exist enough hooch in the world that could wipe away his need to have her know and understand him.
Her eyes widened, and shock transformed her passive expression into something else altogether. Sheer panic was written there, along with … curiosity, maybe?
“Micah,” she murmured. “I can’t …”
“You can’t leave,” he said quickly, stopping her before she could crush his declaration when he hadn’t even gotten it out yet. “Not before I tell you this. I don’t know what you told Jack about that night. You might have told him you lost your head, or you regretted it. Maybe you told him it didn’t mean a damn thing to you, and if you can look me in the eye and tell me that and mean it, then I’ll be okay with it. I’ll be okay with letting you go if you can tell me you don’t give a rat’s ass about me and that our one night was a mindless attempt to drown out your pain, and that I was just there and convenient to use. I get it. I’ve done it before, so it would serve me righ
t. But I need to know the truth. I need to know if I’m crazy, imagining things that aren’t real. Tell me it didn’t mean anything, cher. Tell me you don’t feel anything for me, and I’ll let you go.”
She bit her lower lip, hesitating. Hope flooded him in a rush too powerful to stifle. She glanced down, taking a moment to think, and the beat of silence that stretched between them quickly grew unbearable. When she gazed back at him, her eyes seemed uncertain and turbulent. He shouldn’t have been happy to see that, but it boded well for him.
“I love Jack,” she said, her gaze never wavering from him. “But I can’t pretend I don’t feel something for you, too. I don’t know what it is yet, because I didn’t even realize I felt it until that night when you kissed me. And then, everything else just happened too fast for me to have a chance to figure it out.”
He nodded, fighting back the urge to crush her against him and kiss her. It would have to be enough for him, for now, that she felt something. He hadn’t been alone that night in believing they’d sparked something real.
“I understand,” he said, keeping his tone even. “I’m not stupid, cher. I know Jack is the better man. He’s good for you. I know that if he hadn’t died, you would never even have thought twice about being with me. We’d probably never have gotten as close as we did, and none of this would have happened. And that makes me feel like the scum of the Earth, because even though it means my best friend was dead for a time, I wouldn’t trade what we had together for anything. Having you around made everything else fade away when I thought I was drowning in it all. You make me want to be better than I am, if that’s even possible. You make me want to believe that I’m worthy of love, even with all the bad things I’ve done.”
She came toward him, wavering a bit just in front of him. She paused, her hand clenching and unclenching spasmodically as if she felt unsure of what to do with it. Then, quickly, like she didn’t want to give herself a chance to change her mind, she reached up and cupped his face. He sank into her touch, rubbing his rough, stubble-sprinkled jaw against her soft fingers.
“You are,” she whispered. “As someone who’s done her fair share of bad things, I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve love. But you do … you do, Micah. If Jack hadn’t come back, I can’t say you couldn’t have won my heart. You would be an easy person to love.”
He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She stiffened a bit in his hold, but melted when he kissed her, giving it everything he had, urging her to love him wordlessly, even as he reminded himself that her heart belonged to someone else. When he pulled away, her eyes had gone heavy-lidded and her lips were stained red from the pressure of his.
“If you keep saying things like that, I’m gonna have to have to do something stupid, like tellin’ you I’m in love with you, Addison Monroe.”
She started, bringing a hand up over her lips, her wide eyes swirling with doubt and sadness. Wrapping her arms around herself, she avoided his gaze.
“Micah …”
“It’s okay,” he assured her. “I know where I stand in this race, but I’ve always been the underdog. You better watch yourself, cher, or you might just find yourself chasing a stolen heart, and by the time you realize what’s happening, you’ll have followed it right into my arms.”
She snuck a glance up at him and he smiled, giving her a wink.
“Sweet dreams, cher,” he murmured, turning to leave the room.
He couldn’t help a bit of satisfaction at the feel of her stare, hot on his back as he left, closing the door behind him.
Epilogue: Ransom
Addison plopped down onto the old, ugly floral couch in her mother’s living room and stared at the urn resting on the coffee table in front of her. It had been a long day, but staying busy had kept her mind from wandering. More specifically, it had stopped her from dwelling on two very consuming distractions named Jack and Micah. Reniel had come for her that morning, seeing her safely to the dusty old trailer she’d been raised in. While he insisted on finding her a Guardian roommate, Addison found she was content to be alone for the moment.
Jack had been in the kitchen when she’d emerged from the room that morning, still wearing the clothes he’d been in the night before when leaving. He didn’t look like he’d slept a wink. She had paused in the living room, dropping her duffle bag onto the floor as he’d come forward to meet her.
Cringing, she’d reached out toward his bruised face, the left side as battered as Micah’s right. His eye had nearly swollen shut where Micah had punched him.
“Oh my God,” she whispered.
He shrugged, but didn’t brush her hand away when she gingerly touched his cheek.
“It’s fine,” he said gruffly. “You should see the other guy.”
She had. While Micah had stood in front of her last night, telling her he loved her, she’d seen the mottled twisting of red, yellow, and purple bruising Jack had caused. The two were a matched pair.
“Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am,” she said. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
He sighed. “You didn’t mean to. For God’s sake, I died. It was stupid for me to come back here expecting you to be waiting on me like some kind of war hero returning from battle. Of course you had a right to move on with your life.” He cleared his throat, lowering his head. “That doesn’t make it hurt less.”
He didn’t have to say out loud that the fact that it was Micah she’d moved on with had been the most hurtful part of all.
“I know,” she whispered. “That’s why I think me leaving is best for right now. For everyone.”
He nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”
She’d kissed his cheek and left him standing there, watching her leave as if he wanted to come after her. Addison almost wished he would have. Yet, by the time she’d met Reniel on the curb, she felt relieved that he hadn’t. She wouldn’t know what to say if he asked her what she felt for Micah, or if their one passionate mistake had meant anything to her other than just sex. She wouldn’t know what to say because she barely understood the truth herself. Was it possible to love two people, and did being loved by both of them make her the luckiest woman alive or the most unfortunate?
“No wonder you were so screwed up,” she muttered to the urn.
Elizabeth Monroe hadn’t had many friends toward the end of her life, and most of their family had died. There had been no funeral, because Addison hadn’t believed anyone would come. She’d simply had her cremated, though she hadn’t yet decided what to do with the ashes. She definitely couldn’t go on talking to them forever, but for now, it was better than collapsing into a sobbing mess on the floor.
“Life is hard, and it doesn’t ever get any easier, does it?” she asked her mother’s remains, slouching against the back of the couch. “No wonder you did drugs. I get it, that need to escape and become numb to it all.”
Of course, she never wanted to go down that road. She knew the problems would only be waiting for her when she came down from a high, just as they had her mother. It could be a vicious cycle, one she didn’t want to get caught up in.
“Well, Mama, I wish you were here so you could tell me what to do,” she whispered. “I know we had our differences, and the last time we spoke, I was harsh with you out of anger. I wanted to hate you, but you did the best you could by me, I guess. I hope you’ve found some kind of peace now. Lord knows you had precious little of it in life.”
With a sigh, she curled up on her side on the couch and closed her eyes. Her sleepless night had drained her, and she lost hold of wakefulness almost instantly.
When a sound outside woke her, she came to with a jolt. Blinking her bleary eyes, she glanced out the window and noticed the sun had set. She’d slept the entire afternoon away. Groaning, she stood and stretched her sore muscles, deciding dinner was in order before time to go into town for her shift.
Padding toward the kitchen, she made a mental note to go shopping. She’d gotten used to relying on Micah to feed h
er. She’d just turned on the oven to heat a frozen pizza when the sound that had awakened her came again. She paused, glancing back toward the window.
It had been unmistakable this time—the flap of wings. But not just any wings. No normal bird could make it sound like a hurricane battered against the side of the trailer. At first, as she made her way to the front door to investigate, she suspected an angel—Reniel, most likely.
Yet, she was proved wrong when she swung the door open and stepped into the night. The instant her feet hit the porch, the ring grew warm against her chest, and she glanced down to find it glowing. Clutching it, she took the wooden steps down from the little porch, searching the sky.
Only one demon would have come looking for her here—a demon with wings.
“Lilith!” she called, tilting her head back and letting her voice carry. “I know you’re out there.”
The flapping of wings sounded again overhead and the air stirred around her, tousling her hair. A dark shape careened down toward her, framed by a backdrop of orange and purple sky—the night descending and chasing the sun out of sight.
She ducked as it swooped over her head, circling midair back toward her and coming in for a landing. Before its feet had touched the ground, the owl transformed in a flurry of black feathers and smoke. It shrank, becoming smaller, and as the swirls of black smoke cleared, a woman stood in its place. Addison advanced on her warily, taking her in from head to toe.
After having come face to face with other demons, she hadn’t been expecting Lilith to be this ravishing creature standing in front of her. Her porcelain skin was offset by the black gown she wore. It appeared to be made of scales, very similar to those that had covered her reptilian body in serpent form. A tumble of white-blonde curls fall down her back, and eyes as black as the night twinkled behind long lashes. Her lips were a blood red moue in her heart-shaped face, her every movement graceful as she sashayed toward Addison.
