“Never.” I promise.
And then he’s gone again.
I’m overwhelmed at how his presence, his touch, like a magic wand eliminates all my doubts. I never could have said ‘no’ when he proposed. Once I allowed him into my heart, I was conquered.
And after touching my body, he’s ruined me for every other man. Oh, yeah. The damage is done. I stretch and stand up, luxuriating in the aches left over from our burst of passionate lovemaking.
I’m practical enough to know that life consists of more than one man. And I’m no introvert. I need friends. I need to have coffee with other girls, other women.
So, I’m gonna have to work this out with his mom and sister. The Cassidy woman? I’m not so sure about. But I have this feeling.
She doesn’t just resent me.
She hates me.
Yeah, I realize this sounds a little over the top, for somebody I’ve barely met for more than two minutes, but I’ve learned to trust my feelings on this sort of thing.
Hopefully I’m wrong.
I doubt it. But I can hope…
Not wanting to dwell on something completely out of my control for now, I locate my brush in Tucker’s amazing bathroom. Without more time, without my straightener and smoothing oil, the only way I’ll tame this mane is by putting it into a French braid. Not sure if it was the nap, or Tucker’s hands, but it’s quite the mess.
A benefit to having long hair. If it doesn’t do what I want I can tie into some sort of knot. My fingers quickly weave the braid down my back and I finish it off by pulling it over my shoulder. I’m pretty pleased with the effect.
Now my eyes.
Stupid of me to have given into tears. But… oh well. I dab at them with a cool wet cloth and then locate my make-up bag in the carry-on. Make-up bag always travels with me. I’ve lost my luggage too many times to make that mistake again.
A little moisturizer, some foundation, eye-liner and mascara.
Amazing what a little color can do for a girl’s mood. I’m just finishing up when Tucker knocks on the door.
“You decent?” He peaks his head around, seeing that I’m fully clothed, he opens the door further and oh, my gosh, it’s like a twin of Tucker walks in. Only this one lacks the intensity of my Tucker. Same dark hair. Same eyes. Different energy. Softer chin.
I blink my eyes and laugh. “Two of you!” And then I step forward holding out my hand. “You must be Colt. Tucker told me you guys all had similar looks but…” I stand back and laugh. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
Tucker’s ‘little’ brother glances at my fiancé and raises his brows. “Well, Okay, then. Now I see why you’re hankerin’ to get yourself hogtied.” He’s got one of my suitcases. Tucker has the other one. I wince a little when I realize they’re both sopping wet.
Before I can hide my expression, Tucker frowns. It’s only luggage. Why do I care?
I don’t.
Not really…
“Thank you. Both of you!” I force a cheerful note into my voice. “Sorry they’re so big.”
But Tucker’s shaking his head. “I’m surprised this is all you brought. I thought you checked twice as many when we flew out of St. Tom’s.”
Of course, I didn’t. I’d only brought one of them. Except I had brought along my garment bag for the dresses… “Ashlee’s shipping everything else.” Now is not the time to joke with him about how she refuses to send them until after the wedding. “Thank you, Colt. Just let me find something to wear and we’ll be right down for dinner.”
“Supper,” Colt corrects me.
Tucker slides a scowl toward his brother. I know it’s silly. I know it doesn’t matter, but this is coming from one of the siblings who doesn’t hate me. “Supper,” I say. I’m tempted to add a few other cowboyisms…like “vittles” or “grub,” but again…not the right time.
Colt backs out of the room, looking like he’s not sure how he should feel about me. Heck, he probably saw my dismay at the condition of my luggage as well. I can only hope he won’t report to the women how Tucker’s city-slicker fiancé is overwrought that her suitcases got a little damp.
When he closes the door, I let out a deep breath. They’ll come around. I unclench my fists and try to relax.
Tucker runs a hand through his hair for about the tenth time since finding me in his room. “Tuck.” I pull his gaze to mine with my voice. “It’s okay.” And I shrug. “Not everything can be easy.”
He nods slowly and crosses the room. A thrill shoots though me, of course, when he takes hold of my braid and tilts my head back. “Sorry about your bags, sugar.” When he holds me like this I don’t care if I have to pack my clothing in grocery bags next time I take a vacation.
“Tuck…” I pull his face down to mine. “Like I said before.” I nip at his lower lip. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Oh, my famous last words.
Ten minutes later, wearing yoga pants and T-shirt – because everything else is pretty much sopping wet – I follow Tucker downstairs.
I know that they know – or at the very least, suspect – what Tucker and I were up to as soon as he came home, but I refuse to act shamefaced about it. I love him. He loves me. We’re two consenting adults.
Two engaged consenting adults.
“Daddy!” The smaller of the two boys I met earlier throws his arms around Tucker’s legs. Leeland. He’s all of four years old, just a baby who lost his mama way to soon.
Still holding one of my hands, Tucker bends down and scoops Leland into his other arm.
“Did you fix awe da fences?”
Okay. I’ve never seen my hot fiancé with his kids. I’m about ready to burst into tears at the sight.
Yeah, I’m a little emotional today.
“Sure did, kiddo. What did you do today? Did you feed Rascal for me?”
Leeland nods proudly.
“Mutt?”
Another nod.
“And Cody?”
“Yep. All of ’em, Daddy. L.T. helped me.”
“L.T.” Ah… “Little Tuck.” So freaking adorable.
Tucker hitches Leeland up higher on his hip and gestures toward me. “Did you say hello to Miss Isabella?”
Leeland nodded again. “She likes mud.”
I burst out laughing. “I’m all cleaned up now, though, Leeland. Is this better?” I’m no longer in a skirt but, alas, neither am I wearing dog prints.
He nods and then buries his head in Tucker’s neck. I can’t help but notice the tender skin on the back of his neck. Soft baby hair. To think of this baby losing his mama… One woman lost her fight for life, two boys lost their mother, and a man lost his wife.
And if she hadn’t lost her life, I never would have found the love of mine. I feel guilty and blessed at the same time.
“L.T.” Tucker’s voice commands his other son. “Come in here.”
Little Tuck barrels around the corner, a smile stretching across his face. He stops and frowns as soon as he sees me.
“This is Miss Isabella.” Tucker speaks in a stern voice.
“Isa,” I correct him. “Nice to meet you, L.T.” I force myself not to gush at how much he resembles his father. Less is more. “Call me Isa. You too, Leeland.” None of this Miss Isabella nonsense. Truth be told, seeing these boys with Tucker, I want more than anything in the world for them to call me Mom. I can’t rush this, though. I can’t rush any of this. “Is there anything to eat around here?” My hands are still clutching Tucker’s bicep. The words I’m saying are bold, but inside I dread sitting down with Jessamine and his mom.
“We’re starving.” This from L.T. along with a scowl in my direction. “We don’t ever eat this late. We been waiting for you.”
Okaaay.
“Mind yourself, L.T.” Tucker sends a warning look in his older son’s direction. This is a side of him I’ve never seen before. I could have guessed he wouldn’t spoil his sons. After the stern look, he ruffles L.T.’s hair.
L.T. is six years ol
d. He would have been three when his mom passed away. I wonder how much he remembers. And who has he looked to as a maternal figure since? Tuck’s mom? Jessamine?
God, I hope not Cassidy… but foreboding settles over me. I can’t help wondering if she hasn’t stepped into that position.
“Cassidy said we could eat when you got home. But you’ve been home a long time already,” L.T. accuses Tuck.
Cassidy said…
“Well, we’re gonna eat now.” Tucker walks me through an arched opening I hadn’t noticed before. Heck, I barely noticed the kitchen in my excitement to climb into a hot shower. We enter a room that’s sole purpose is to provide a place for an incredibly long wooden table. The polish has been worn off the hardwood floors, and a few horseshoes hang along the walls. A window makes up most of the opposite end.
The kitchen and great room’s ceilings are vaulted, but this dining room feels cozier. Especially when it’s packed with the entire James clan. Colt, Jessamine, and another Tucker lookalike, whom I believe to be the youngest, Levi.
All of them with dark hair. Green eyes.
The head of the table is empty, Maggie, Tucker’s mother sits on one side and on the other… Cassidy. She looks perfectly comfortable, receiving smiles and comments from Tucker’s mother and Jessamine. A chill takes hold of me for a moment.
Tucker lowers Leeland to the floor and then the boys scamper onto two seats near Levi. If I don’t do something, a confrontation is sure to ensue.
Only two empty seats remain. One by the boys and the lone seat at the head.
I know the moment Tucker realizes what’s happened. He jerks his head up at me and there goes that jaw. I don’t want a confrontation tonight. Not when his boys have barely met me.
I shake my head just enough so he can read my mind. I glance toward Leland and wink. I’m totally all right with this. I am. I can do this.
For now.
I want to spend time getting to know L.T. and Leeland. Of all Tucker’s family, these two are the most important for me to win over. I take the seat between L.T. and Levi and carefully place the napkin on my lap. I feel several sets of eyes land on me.
When I sneak a sideways glance toward the other end of the table I sense Cassidy’s triumph.
But I’ve already won.
“Shall we say grace?” Katherine, Tucker’s grandmother quiets the motley crew.
“Isabelle,” Maggie urges. “As our guest, would you do the honors?”
I can tell she thinks she’s putting me on the spot. This is some sort of test.
Only she doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know anything about me. “I’d love to.”
Everybody goes to fold their hands in front of themselves, but I purposely take L.T. and Levi’s hands in mine. “Shall we join hands?” In that moment, I feel Tucker’s gaze.
After a second of awkward confusion, the family members hesitantly take one another’s hands. “Heavenly Father,” I begin. “Thank you for the bounty of this meal, for the love of family, for keeping Tucker and Levi and Colt safe today while they were out in the bad weather. And thank you, Lord,” I add, “for the warm welcome I’ve received. I ask you to bless this meal and bless all our endeavors. Amen.”
After a brief pause. Tucker meets my eyes. I feel his approval. Not that I need it, but I revel in it. I hadn’t expected this feeling of him and me as a team. Before today, in St. Thomas, we’d been a couple. But going forward, we’re going to be parents. A family. “Amen,” he says. And the others follow.
And then I notice that Cassidy doesn’t release Tucker’s hand until he has to reach for his cutlery. She wants him.
But I have him.
And I’m gonna do everything within my power to keep him.
CHAPTER FIVE
Isabella
Without Tucker beside me, the other adults in the room do little to help me feel comfortable. In fact, conversation seems directed with the sole purpose of excluding me. Topics range from events going on in town to various ongoing antics of a few neighbors. And then there are the trips down memory lane.
My mom raised me alone. Worked hard to get to where she is today, but she taught me basic manners. How to treat guests.
I’d never treat a guest the way they’re treating me. And I hate to think this way… but… I’m human.
Tucker sits quietly. He’s mostly focused on eating.
Rather than dwell on the unnerving sensation of being left out, I turn my attention to Tucker’s sons. Leeland has taken to me pretty easily. He promises to show me the tricks they’ve taught Mutt. His brilliant green eyes sparkle as he tells me how Mutt can play dead. Without stopping to take a breath, he says he’s learning to read. He has his own horse and rides almost every day. Except not in the rain. Not today.
Every other sentence he says involves Cassidy. From what I gather, the woman has pretty much been homeschooling the boys. She’s been carving a place for herself in this family for quite some time.
With the full approval and backing of Tucker.
Even though Tucker meets my gaze lovingly on numerous occasions throughout the meal, I can’t help feeling overwhelmed by how much of an outsider I am.
Despite the chilly reception I’m receiving, I’m in awe of the camaraderie they share with each other. There is never a moment of silence. So very different from what I grew up with. What would it feel like to be loved by so many people? The idea overwhelms me. I hate that I want that. I hate that their antagonism bothers me so much.
When everyone begins tossing napkins onto the table, I move to assist with the clean-up.
“Don’t you worry about any of this, Isabella.” Maggie takes the dishes from me.
“You’re a guest,” Jessamine adds.
I’m not needed.
And I’m exhausted. I don’t even know where Tucker’s gone off to.
His family.
They consume him. They all need him. They all want to talk to him. Get his opinion on this or that. Even his mom. I’m like the new girl nobody wants to get caught talking to.
I find Leeland lying on the sofa with his thumb in his mouth. “Sleepy?” Everything is so simple with this little sweetie. Or it ought to be anyhow.
He nods.
“Would you like me to read you a story in your room?” My asking him is at least partly selfish. It gives me an excuse to escape but also a chance to begin building a friendship with one of Tucker’s babies.
He nods. “I like Curious George.”
This absolutely delights me. “Curious George was my favorite when I was little. Do you have the one where he goes to the hospital?”
Leeland smiles sleepily. “Curious George has to have op’ration.”
I reach out toward him. He wipes his thumb on his shirt and takes my hand.
“Does L.T. like stories too?” I relax a little, having a purpose now.
Together we make our way upstairs. This time I notice the huge light fixture hanging from above… Antlers. And some sort of an animal skin lying flat in front of a huge stone fireplace.
Again, I imagine a giant Christmas tree. Presents everywhere. I shake myself out of this fantasy when we reach the upstairs landing. “You’ll have to show me where your bedroom is. Maybe tomorrow you can give me a tour.”
Leeland’s hand feels so tiny in mine. “How come yer stayin’ with us? Are you gonna live here? Where’s yer room?”
Questions. Questions that I wish Tuck were here with me to help answer. “Well, Leland.” I carefully choose my words. “I’m here because I met your daddy and I fell in love with him.” I glance down. “And he fell in love with me. When that happens with two people, they want to be together a lot. They want to live together.”
I can almost hear the cogs turning in his little brain. “So yer gonna live here with us then? ’Cause you love my daddy?” Ah, so simple.
“Yep. I hope that’s okay with you.”
“Do you get yer own room?”
“Your daddy and I are gonna share hi
s room. We’re gonna get married.”
Leeland struggles with the knob but then proudly opens the door to a room, obviously his own, based on the toy cars and décor. Twin bed with a Bob the Builder comforter. Matching drapes. “I gots my own room.” He’s distracted for a few minutes as he searches through a pile of books on the floor. Looking more than a little triumphant, Leeland pulls out the familiar yellow book and brings it over to show me. “I hope I doesn’t have to share my room when I grow up.”
“I think you only will if you want to.” I can’t help chuckling. There’s so much about little boys for me to learn. “Do you want to put on your pajamas before we start reading?”
He contemplates his answer for a few seconds before answering. “I usually don’t wear my jammies till after my bath.”
Ah… and who gives him his bath?
“I better waits for Cassidy.” Of course.
“Well then.” I swallow the sick feeling I’m beginning to experience every time I hear that name, and then I open up the book. “We’ll just go ahead and read then.”
I read out loud with as much feeling as I can muster. I remembered loving the crazy hijinks of this lovable monkey… but in the back of my mind I’m feeling a little crushed. Why hasn’t Tucker considered some of these issues before I came out here? As much as I love him, I’m irritated with him right now.
As though my annoyance summons him, a shadow falls across the floor.
I don’t have to look up to know it’s him. Glancing over the top of the page, I meet Tucker’s gaze.
When he watches me with that expression – as though I’m the beginning and end of his world – my frustration with him melts away.
“Daddy, Isa’s reading Curious George to me.” Leeland notices his father as well. “Does I has to take a bath?”
Tucker pushes himself away from the frame of the door, where he’d been leaning, and enters the room. My guy moves with this stealthy casual grace. He reminds me of a panther, or a fox… I can’t explain it, but it’s one of the sexiest damn things. Makes me think about him pouncing on me.
The Mile High Madness Page 37
