He glances toward the clock on the nightstand. “How about we skip baths tonight, buddy?” And then to me. “I wondered where you’d gone off too.” So much promise in those words. I can’t stop the shiver that ghosts down my spine.
“Cassidy gonna tuck me in too?” Bless this child’s little heart.
Curse that woman downstairs. Except… is this her fault? Can I blame her for falling in love with them all?
I can. Of course, I can. And I do. She doesn’t want to let go of them. She wants Tucker, and I have a feeling she’s willing to use his boys to get him.
Tucker looks over his shoulder as though the lovely lady herself might be in the hallway. “I imagine she’ll come up for a spell.”
The blood in my veins turns to ice. How does he not realize what’s happening here?
“Does Cassidy give the boys their baths every night?” I ask Tucker innocently. Except I don’t bother to hide the steel from my eyes.
He glances over at me and at first looks confused. But nope. There it is.
A flicker of guilt crosses his face.
Oh, yes. We’re definitely going to have to talk.
Not because I want to fight with him on my first night here. I have so many other things I want to do with this man.
But because I want this to work more than anything else in the world. And if we can’t begin this marriage with complete honesty, we don’t stand a chance.
We need to be a team.
Players on the same team need to be able to count on one another.
“Cassidy always give me my bath.” Leeland answers the question for his father. I lift one of my brows. Holy shit, Tucker, how can you not have seen this coming?
“Where are your P.J.’s Leeland?” Tucker opens the top drawer and searches until he pulls out the cutest shirt and bottoms ever. More of Bob the Builder on blue fleece.
“But we ain’t done with the story yet!” Leeland protests with his entire body tensing, outraged. As a writer, the word ‘ain’t’ sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. But I laugh.
“Let’s get you changed and then I’ll finish the story. How’s that?”
Tucker still hasn’t said anything. Silly, stupid man. I almost believe he’s just now beginning to realize the situation he’s allowed to develop with his boys and that girl.
Leeland takes the clothing from his dad and then unselfconsciously, strips down to his Bob the Builder underwear. Tucker helps him on with his sleep shirt and pants while I set aside my frustrations and simply enjoy watching Tucker as a dad.
By the time I finish reading the story, Leeland’s half asleep, thumb tucked between his lips. I can only imagine what Tucker looked like at that age.
What my own children might someday look like.
Except, if everything works out, this child, this energetic bundle of love, will someday call me Mom.
Tucker kisses him on the forehead, turns off the lamp, and we step out of the room together.
Cassidy is waiting in the hallway. With a smile at Tucker, she moves to enter Leeland’s room. Her eyes narrow when they flicker down to Tucker’s arm around my waist.
What did she expect?
“He didn’t get his bath yet.” Her chin lifts a little, and I can’t help but feel some accusation in her words.
“Don’t you think it’s kinda late, Cass?” Tucker looks sheepish. Almost as though he’s apologizing to her.
“He was tired.” I can’t help myself. I’m not a confrontational person, but I have this alarm inside of me that goes off when I need to be.
She twists her lips, almost as though she’s deciding whether or not to accept what I’ve just said. “We did hold supper pretty late.” She moves to open the door. “I suppose I’ll just read him a story and tuck him in then.”
I’m torn about this. Yes, I want this woman away from Tucker. Preferably now. At the same time, these boys have developed an attachment to her. They’ve already lost their mother.
“Isa already did.” This from Tucker.
“But he’s looking forward to a goodnight kiss from you.” I add these last words. This situation has more mines to avoid than I’d first suspected.
“I doubt he’d fall asleep without one,” she insists. After one more longing look in Tuckers direction, she disappears behind Leeland’s bedroom door.
So.
Many.
Mines.
By tacit agreement, Tucker and I head for his room. Our room? Except I’m not there yet. I can’t even begin to think I belong until his family accepts me. They’re such a huge part of his life.
What if they never do?
I don’t even want to think about it. As long as I have Tucker’s love I’ll keep working on them.
When Tucker closes the door behind us, I can’t prevent the tension rolling off of me in waves. I’m just not that kind of person.
I don’t get upset easily, but when I do…
“Isa.” Again Tucker drags his tanned, lean hand through his hair. I don’t think he knows where to start.
I’ll help him.
“She’s in love with you, Tucker. And the worst part about it is that your boys have become attached to her. They love her.” When I say the words out loud, the reality of this situation weighs heavier on me. “Who is she?”
I hate that I don’t feel like touching him right now. I hate that a distant look has replaced his adoring gaze from earlier.
“She’s a friend of the family. And she’s not in love with me,” he insists. “I don’t know how you can even say something like that. You barely know her. You barely know any of them. You disappeared right after dinner. How can they get to know you if you don’t even try?” Tucker unbuckles his belt and hangs it over a clothes horse.
I’m stunned. Watching him do something so casual as remove his wallet and sit it on the dresser after tossing such a grenade into the room… I shake my head in disbelief.
I’m amazed that he would say this to me. Red rims my vision. “Get to know them? Get to know them?” I want to rail on his sister’s attitude when she picked me up, on how she seemed to intentionally wait for the dogs to get mud all over me before calling them off, how they barely spoke to me when I walked in the door.
It feels like they hate me. Like I’m the enemy.
I’m not just mad at him, right now, I’m devastated. Feeling like my heart’s bleeding out, I head for the bathroom. I need to be alone right now. I want my own space.
If he isn’t with me. If we aren’t a team. If he doesn’t listen to me…
In that moment, I want to go home.
So much for all my good intentions.
I walk to the back of Tucker’s closet, the area which he’s apparently emptied for me, and sit on the carpeted floor, hugging my knees.
My engagement ring scratches my arms as I do so.
“Isa?”
I don’t look up. I’m not like this. This isn’t me. One day on Bear Creek Ranch, and I’ve reverted to the emotional maturity of a fifteen-year-old.
“Isa?” Tucker drops to the floor beside me. When his index finger skims a whispery line along my arm, I want to cry. I want to cry because I love him so much and this might not be so easy after all. “We hardly ever get this much rain. I haven’t seen so much come down in one day for about five years.”
Even though my brain is in lockdown, my entire body wants to curl into him.
“And this year has been especially dry.”
Not sure where he’s going with this…
“In fact, the last three years… yep. Pretty damn dry.” His husky voice has me turning toward him against my will.
“Then about a month ago. I meet this gorgeous blonde. Found her on the beach. In paradise. And she’s… she’s an oasis in the desert.” He chuckles a little. “I probably should have expected something like this on the day she’s set to arrive. All the rain everyone’s been praying for pouring down in one fell swoop. I didn’t see it comin’, though. Even so, Mother Natu
re has her way. I can’t do anything about it. Worse part – I didn’t make arrangements to keep my fences strong. No, I was fixin’ to pick my girl up from the airport, with flowers of course. Take her shoppin’ so we could pick out a pair of boots. Because I know she’s got all kinds of those high heels but I doubt she owns a good pair of cowboy boots. And my woman needs boots.” My heart melts as he narrates the plans he’d made. “After that, I was gonna take her to a fancy dinner. Wine and dine her. But that’s not even the best part. Made us some reservations for the honeymoon suite up at the Hyatt.
“I figured you and I could get reacquainted before I threw you to the wolves…” His arm has worked its way around me. “Today… God damn, Isa, I’m so flippin’ sorry. And I never should have said that. Such a mess. I didn’t think… You’ve been nothing but perfect.”
His warmth penetrates me along with his apology. Why was I mad at him? When his lips devour mine, I can’t quite remember. I barely remember my own name.
“Tucker?” I murmur against his neck.
He’s lifted me in his arms. He’s carrying me to the bed. “Anything, sugar. You say it. It’s done.”
“Just love me?”
Because in that moment, this love, my love, his existence, are all that really matter.
“Forever, sugar.”
CHAPTER SIX
Isabella
The night I just spent with Tucker was a… revelation. I’ve never considered myself an overly physical person. I hug my friends, I love animals. I like kissing and even to some extent, P.D.A.
But sex.
Sex has never made much of an impression on me. Good, yes. Like a sneeze, or a nice dessert. Sometimes it felt more like a three-mile run. So, yeah. I’ve had some good sex – satisfying, I suppose. I’ve had some sex that felt more like a chore. I’ve experienced some really pleasant orgasms induced by something battery operated.
The thing is.
With Tucker. Sex brings me to life. It’s difficult to reduce sex with Tucker to just one word. It’s more like… spectacular, fucking, soul-shattering, mind-altering lovemaking…
Yeah. That.
So, when I wake up my first morning at Bear Creek Ranch, although I have a few bruises on my thighs, I also have this huge smile on my face.
Tucker’s already out of bed, dressing. I glance at my phone on the bedside table and grimace. “It’s not even six, babe.”
There isn’t much light in the room. Just a hint of sunlight. But I can still make out the slow sexy grin sliding across Tucker’s mouth.
In nothing but a pair of unbuttoned, low-slung jeans, he comes back to the bed and hovers over me. Watching his mouth, just inches from mine, reminds me of all the lurid exploring he did with it last night. I cannot have his mouth so close to mine without it touching me.
I wrap one hand around his neck and tug.
Hot, firm, smooth. His tongue dances with mine, licking, tasting, and teasing.
“Come back to bed,” I murmur, not sure if I’m begging or demanding.
“I gotta check the herd. It’s finally stopped raining, but I need to make sure none of them slipped through before we got all the fences back up.” All kind of regret in his words. It’s only partially comforting.
I pout against his lips, and he climbs into bed beside me.
“Can I come with you?” This is a cop out on my part. I know it is. I’m just wanting to avoid the James clan for one more day.
He growls. “Soon, sugar. We need to get you outfitted first.”
I probably could have worn something of Jessamine’s, but I’m not sure how she’d respond to such a request at this point…
“Don’t you have some wedding planning to do? Maybe you and my mom can figure out some of the details?” His face turns all sheepish when he asks me this. Like he knows this isn’t going to be easy for me.
But he has a point. Maybe she’ll warm up to me a little if we can work on something together.
“And Cassidy?” I venture into this hornet’s nest without thinking. “What are we gonna do about her?”
Tucker pushes up from the bed and I can tell he’s annoyed by my question.
Apparently, we failed to really address this last night.
He…distracted me.
His jaw ticks a few times before he speaks. “Isa. It’s just that… I can’t exactly kick her off the ranch. She’s Jessamine’s best friend, and she’s done so much for the boys over the past few months. I’m sure, whatever you think you’re seeing as far as her and me… Isa, there simply isn’t anything there.” He’s walking away from me. Jamming his arms into a long sleeve shirt and tucking the tails into his pants. “A crush maybe.”
He buttons them up without looking at me.
“Babe.” I’m more awake now. I hate that he’s dismissed my concern so easily. “I’ll try to be open minded. And I realize this isn’t easy for anybody…but will you at least consider the possibility that I’m right?” God, I hate this. I hate how jealous I sound.
It’s just that I can’t fight another woman when it comes to trying to build a family. I need to be at home. I want this to be my home. I know these things take time, but I need a little help here.
Tucker looks out the window and then glances over his shoulder at me. A golden strip of sunlight slips between the drapes and bathes his face in the warm morning light. No man should be this good looking. It’s not fair.
But I need to hold my ground. “Please?”
He nods, but I can tell he’s torn.
In my heart, I know I wouldn’t be here if he had any sort of romantic feelings for that girl. The problems lie everywhere else. The woman’s relationship with his sons… with his sister.
I hate that she’s managed to come between us.
We’re too new. Too vulnerable.
I’m scared because I feel like this three weeks before the wedding has turned into something of a trial period.
Before travelling here, I’d had this fantasy in my head. I’d arrive, his family would love me. The boys would need me. We’d have this honeymoon period before the wedding.
Maybe I’ve been a bit naïve.
I need to be honest with myself.
I’ve been a lot naïve.
“I best be headin’ out. Told Colt we’d leave by six.” Tucker’s voice swings me back to the present.
“Do you think you’ll be late?” I know nothing about what he does. Where he’s going. I have no car. No friends. I don’t want to sound spoiled, or churlish, it’s just that… this isn’t at all what I’d imagined.
“Isa, I don’t know.” God, he sounds so tired now. “Until I get out there. Til’ Colt and I track ’em down. I just don’t know.” In his eyes I see something of an apology.
Gah! Now I feel like I’m nagging him. “Just…” I lift the corners of my mouth in a halfhearted smile. “Be careful, okay?”
He presses one last quick kiss against my lips and then disappears out the door.
I try to take a few deep breaths. This ranch, though. It doesn’t stop. I’m amazed he was able to take that week off to come down to St. Thomas.
So much, if not all of the responsibility falls on Tucker’s shoulders.
The last thing in the world I want is to add to his burden.
I want to take some of the load from him.
At that thought my heart drops. I’m probably the least capable person in the world to help him with any of it.
Once Tucker’s gone, I can’t fall back to sleep. Too many thoughts whirling around in my head.
I might as well be productive. First task at hand is to salvage what I can from my suitcases. I should have gone through everything last night. This morning everything smells musty.
I’m happy to discover a second washer and dryer behind one of the doors next to Tucker’s room. I put in a load and then, uncomfortable with procrastinating any longer, make my way down to the kitchen in one of Tucker’s T-shirts and my yoga pants.
Maggie is sittin
g at the counter on a barstool, reading from a laptop and drinking coffee.
“Good Morning.” I send a tentative smile in her direction. “Any more where that came from?” My gaze flickers toward the steaming brew.
She nods but doesn’t smile. “Help yourself. Cups are in the cupboard right over the maker.”
I go rummaging until I’ve located an appealing cup. Because the cup matters almost as much as the coffee. I don’t want one that’s too thick, or too smallish. Ah, here’s one that’s just right. I’m glad I drink my coffee black, that way I don’t need to go searching through the large refrigerator for creamer. “Did you sleep well?” I’ve always been something of a master at small talk. This woman would make a great poker player, though. I have no idea whether she’s wishing me to perdition, or simply reading something fascinating online.
She finally meets my eyes. “Haven’t had a good night’s sleep in two years.”
“No! That’s horrible. My mom gets really bad restless leg.” Maybe I can get her talking about this. I’m a good listener and people tend to like a good listener.
She frowns. “I just don’t sleep like I used to.” And then I seem to recall that Tucker’s father passed away about two years ago.
Her husband.
“I’m so sorry.” The sentiment leaves my mouth before I think twice about it.
But she just frowns a little – stops picking at her computer and gets a dreamy look in her eyes. “Married about forty years. Just assumed he’d be around forever.”
“I can’t imagine. Tucker’s told me some of it. I never knew my father, but I’m close to my mom.” I take a seat opposite from her.
“Never knew your father?” Katherine appears from a hallway on the other side of the kitchen. “How come, girl?”
Oh, my God! Both of them are talking to me this morning! I’m so excited I nearly forget to answer her question.
“My mom and he weren’t married.”
Tucker’s grandmother shakes her head disparagingly. “He left her high and dry then?”
Ah, details. “Actually, he proposed to my mom but… she’s always been something of a career woman. He wanted her to quit her job, and she wanted her independence. After she refused his ring, well, then he left her high and dry.”
The Mile High Madness Page 38
