The Mile High Madness

by Anders, Annabelle

  I’ve been slacking, for sure.

  These are my boys. My sons.

  My responsibilities. Even more so than the ranch.

  When had I let this slide?

  After bath time, I help these two ragamuffins into their P.J.’s, read them a few stories, and then tuck them in.

  “Where’s Isa?” Leeland asks with his thumb half in his mouth. “I like her stories too.”

  Something warm wraps around me. “She’s tired, buddy. Not feeling well. I’m sure she’ll read you another story tomorrow.” Leeland accepts most of what I say without question. L.T.’s my little skeptic.

  I’m anxious to check in on Isa. Hold her again if she’s still sleeping. I kiss my youngest on the forehead and then turn out the lights.

  When I open the door to my room, Isabella is awake. She’s sitting on the bed looking confused and absolutely adorable.

  She glances at my shirt and jeans and then grins. “Is it raining again?”

  I’m sopping wet. “Bath time.” Even though she’s smiling, darkness haunts her gaze. I’ve never seen darkness in my sugar before.

  “Head still bothering you?” Maybe that’s it. Maybe the darkness is pain. But something in my gut clenches. Something’s wrong.

  I can’t help but wonder if she’s having her period. I was married. I know how this can affect a woman.

  She smiles sadly and doesn’t meet my eyes. “This isn’t working.”

  I hear the words, but they don’t compute. At the risk of sounding like an idiot, I have to ask. “What isn’t working?” This can’t mean what it sounds like.

  Instead of standing there, waiting for her answer, I stride into the closet. I’m restless. Pissed.

  I’m scared shitless.

  I unbutton my shirt and shrug out of it. After I’ve pulled on a T-shirt, I head back into the bedroom. She’s staring at her hands.

  “What isn’t working?” I drop onto the bed.

  I work hard for of all kinds of things. For the cattle, for the land, for this house, and for my family.

  I need to work at this relationship. I fucked up by not preparing my family better for her arrival. Letting them know how important she is to me.

  Everything I’ve done over the past few days has probably sent her the wrong message.

  “Us.” She finally meets my gaze, her blue eyes swimming in tears. “Me. Here.”

  I’m shaking my head. “We just got off to a bad start.” I go to grab her hand, but she pulls it away from me.

  “No, Tucker. We had a great time in St. Thomas. Maybe we ought to have just left it at that.”

  Black creeps in around the edges of my vision. “You don’t mean that,” I tell her. “Isa. Sugar.” I grab hold of her shoulders and she drops her head forward.

  “It was a sweet idea.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “Everything is too different here. I’m not ready for it.”

  This feels the same as being thrown from a bronc. The jerking. The way your breath gets caught in your chest and your teeth rattle. And then you go flying through the air.

  “So, you just want to give up then? Two days and you’re ready to throw in the towel?” She stills and then finally looks up at me with furrowed brows. Fuck if I don’t want to smooth them out. What the hell is happening here?

  “I don’t want to drag this out, Tuck…”

  “What the hell?” Anger courses through me.

  What’s happening?

  She went shopping today. And when she got home she had a headache. “You’re not making sense? Seriously? Weren’t the shops nice enough in Buena? Didn’t they carry those fancy high heels of yours? No Starbucks? Is that it?” I’m talking shit but I’m hurt. I’m pissed, and I’m lashing out.

  She flinches with my words, but I’ve also ignited something else behind her eyes. That darkness I saw a few minutes ago is fire now.

  She rises and stands in front of me, one finger poking into my chest. “Don’t you go there, Tucker James! Don’t you say I didn’t try! I came out here! I left everything and when I got here, I…” She swallows and turns her head. “I realized I came for nothing.”

  I take one step backward. And then another. “Nothing?” I’m stunned. “Fucking nothing? What am I? What are my boys? I’m sorry I couldn’t drop everything. Shit, Isabella, I apologized for that already. What the hell do you want from me?” I’m hurting again. Looking for answers. But she’s shaking her head.

  “More than you can give.”

  For a fraction of a second, I feel like those words should mean something to me.

  “Tell me you don’t love me.” I need to hear it. I fucking need to hear it to believe this is happening.

  She turns her head. “It doesn’t matter if I love you or not. This isn’t gonna work.”

  “It doesn’t matter if you love me or not?” I throw my hands in the air. Priceless. God, I should have been happy to live without a woman for the last three years. Women said shit that didn’t make sense. Women said things that made a man crazy.

  I can’t help thinking there are all kinds of things women do that I can live without. But the truth is there’s even more things about women that I don’t want to live without.

  Things about Isa.

  Maybe she’s just being hormonal. Had a bad day.

  She isn’t being rational right now.

  “You’re being irrational.” The second the words leave my mouth, I realize I’ve thrown fuel on the fire. I’m ready to strangle her but and at the same time, lust jolts down my spine. She’s so beautiful. Even when she’s angry.

  And then I know. With every fiber of my being. We need to reconnect. I step forward and wind her hair round my hand. My lips claim hers.

  At first, she doesn’t kiss me back. I nearly back off. I’m not that guy.

  But just before I pull away, she softens against me. Her lips open and her tongue wrestles with mine. “Fuck, Isa.” The words claw their way out of me. “There’s no way this is over.”

  She makes a mewing sound in the back of her throat and at the same time I feel her fingers tugging at my hair. Nothing tender about the way she needs me right now.

  About the way I need her.

  With one hand unbuttoning my jeans, the other makes fast work of her panties. No way in hell am I letting her go.

  She’s my light. My heart. Her breath is mine. Her skin. The heated taste of her mouth.

  I settle myself between her thighs and her legs clench around my waist.

  There is lovemaking. There is fucking.

  And then there’s something else altogether.

  It’s a combination of them both.

  A dam bursts, and everything cuts loose at the same time. It cleanses. It washes away confusion. It screams that this is bigger than either one of us. It’s something we can’t control. All we can do is give in and allow it to carry us away.

  And the instant I slide into her I’m home. I’m one with this woman. I’ll be damned if I’ll let her give up on us. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll do whatever she needs.

  The way she clutches me and pulls me in, I know she feels the same way.

  “Tuck.” She says my name against my mouth. This girl has no inhibitions with me. She says what she thinks. Acts on her emotions.

  “Isa.” Her name is like a prayer on my lips. My lips can’t get enough. I trail them down the slender column of her neck, drawing a line with my tongue until my face rests between her breasts. Wanting to claim all of her, I slide my jaw along her sensitive skin and she cries out for more.

  This woman means everything to me. I need to show her this in every way I know how. I latch onto one nipple and tug, grazing the dusky pink skin with my teeth.

  Desperate hands clutch the sides of my head urging me to thrust deeper, suck harder. We communicate without fault on this level.

  I know she’s close when her breaths turn into whimpers. She squeezes me from within and I can’t slow down. A pulsing satisfaction consumes her giving me the
go ahead to race for home.

  I allow myself to let go. I’m riding her fast, taking her hard.

  When my own climax tears through to the base of my spine, I plunge deep, reaching for the very core of her being, and release my seed inside this woman.

  She’s mine.

  Damn her to hell if she tries to tell me differently.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Isabella

  My flight is scheduled to leave just a little after nine the next morning. While Tucker went down for dinner I purchased my ticket and texted the information to Jessamine. She texted back that Levi would be waiting for me downstairs at five a.m. no questions asked.

  Tucker returns and pushes right past my half-hearted break up speech. He consumes me like a starving man. All night. Repeatedly. It’s as though he is branding me. Ruining me for every other man. And I do nothing to stop him.

  When he falls asleep, exhausted, curving his body around mine, my mind refuses to turn off. His touch doesn’t feel like that of a man who wants to be rid of me. Surely, this isn’t only about sex to him.

  Our connection… It’s more than just physical. It’s almost spiritual… I’m more confused than ever as Tucker’s words repeat themselves over and over in my tormented brain.

  Maybe things proceeded too fast. Maybe Tucker wasn’t ready for all the promises, all the forevers. Maybe he’s as confused as I am.

  Am I doing us both a favor by leaving tomorrow? By avoiding a dramatic and painful goodbye.

  Except a goodbye – for me anyhow – is better than nothing. When you say goodbye, you get to hold the person one last time. Whisper your love, best wishes and all that. Can I really do this? Can I walk away from him?

  Sneak away from him?

  My suitcases are packed and stored in the hall closet. Jessamine texted me just before Tucker came back and told me Levi would load them up in his truck tonight.

  All I have to do is leave our bed without awakening him.

  The thought steals my breath.

  Because a part of me is addicted to him. And God help me, not just his body, not just the physical. The way his voice slides over me like silk. It must be a Colorado thing. The way his words come out so easy.

  All those phone calls over the past month. He’d ask me about my day, and my answer always mattered to him. He’d ask questions, make astute observations. He only offered advice if I wanted to hear it. And always with that sexy, rumbling affection.

  How can I live without seeing the heat lurking behind his eyes when he looks at me?

  Or the vulnerability he shows me, hidden behind so much strength.

  I lie awake. By now I’m afraid to fall asleep. I can’t set an alarm. I’ll never awaken by four thirty on my own.

  My phone flashes three forty seven a.m.

  Holding back tears, I slide away from Tucker and crouch on the floor. Moonlight casts a cool glow on his skin. In sleep, his mouth his relaxed and tender. Dark thick lashes contrast vividly against the tan hue of his skin.

  I’m tempted to run my fingers through his tousled hair one last time.

  He is my person. He is my soulmate.

  There’s nothing I can do if he doesn’t feel the same.

  I tiptoe into the closet and don jeans, T-shirt, sweatshirt and my running shoes. How very appropriate. Irony prods me.

  After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I don’t bother with any makeup. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.

  I don’t allow myself to look at him again when I creep past the bed. I’m afraid that if I do I’ll break down.

  I don’t want him to keep me here out of some misguided pity.

  I don’t understand but his words to his mom were crystal clear.

  Without looking back, I slip out the door and downstairs.

  Windows along the stairs reveal hints of a spectacular sunrise glowing behind the nearby mountains. A clock hanging on the wall reveals that it’s nearly five already. I took longer than I realized. Perhaps I’d been caught up in my doubts.

  “Isabella.” It’s Levi. He’s standing by the entrance to the kitchen, wearing his hat, Wranglers and boots. These brothers look so similar to one another, and for a moment his appearance sends a shiver through me. “You sure about this?” His whisper carries easily in the quiet of the morning.

  I’m not but I nod my head anyway. All I’m carrying is my purse and my phone. I haven’t told Ashlee yet. I’ll text her from the airport maybe.

  Or maybe I’ll take an Uber and just surprise her at home. I dread hearing her “I told you so.” Except she isn’t like that. She’ll buy me three or four flavors of ice cream, finish off a few bottles of wine with me, and then hug me when I cry.

  She’s a good friend.

  Levi leads the way out the back making all kinds of noise with his boots. “Tucker’s gonna fucking kill me for this,” he grumbles over his shoulder.

  I’m still not sure about this. Something’s niggling in the back of my brain.

  I didn’t tell him goodbye.

  When the door opens, the cool morning air feels like betrayal.

  The last time I watched the sunrise had been our last morning in St. Thomas. Morning normally holds promise. Today it’s an ending.

  Levi opens the door of his truck while I climb into the passenger seat. The door closing sounds like a rocket in the silence. I swallow around the lump in my throat. If I allow myself to start crying right now, I won’t be able to stop.

  I wonder if Jessamine told Levi what we overheard. Did she tell her mom? Colt? Am I the only one who didn’t know his regrets? His misgivings?

  The engine roars to life, and with it the radio blares.

  With a quick apology, Levi turns it off. “Sorry,” he laughs. It’s almost as though he wants Tucker to hear us. Almost as though he wants Tucker to come running out of the house to stop me.

  I do.

  I do?

  Levi jerks the gearshift into first and pulls away from the house.

  Why do I want Tucker to come running out of the house to stop me? Because that would mean he wants me still? Because that would mean he loves me still?

  Because if what I overheard last night was true, he wouldn’t do that. He’d allow me to leave without a fight.

  But he’d fought me last night. Hadn’t he? What had he said? I’d told him this wasn’t going to work. I gave him his out and he’d said… So, you just want to give up then? Two days and you’re ready to throw in the towel?

  That wasn’t something a man said we he wanted to break things off. Had I even been listening to him? When I told him there was nothing here for me, stark pain crossed his face. And when he first kissed me he’d said…

  There’s no way this is over.

  “Stop! Levi. Stop! I changed my mind. I need to go back.” God, no one in their right mind would blame Tucker’s family for thinking I’m bonkers. But I need to go back. I need to ask Tucker why he told his mom he wanted me to leave.

  There had to be an explanation other than the conclusion I jumped to. There had to be.

  Because every cell of my body believes that man loves me.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Tucker

  I’m normally up and dressed by six, but I wore myself out with Isabella last night. So even when consciousness creeps in, I don’t open my eyes. I plan on spending the morning in bed with Isabella. We need to make a plan. Figure things out so that she can feel at home here.

  I reach out my arm to pull her close to me again and feel… cool sheets.

  Empty space.

  She’s not here.

  “Isa?” I call out for her, thinking she might be in the bathroom, but the only answer I get is the echo of my own voice. “Isa?” I’m already out of bed, sliding my Wranglers on over my bare ass.

  Cold dread tightens my chest. Flipping on the light switch, my eyes quickly adjust and take in the fact that her makeup bag is gone. Her phone is gone. A quick search of the bathroom and the closet reveals that her cl
othing and luggage are gone.

  The ring I gave her taunts me from the dresser.

  No!

  A flash of light in the distance reflects off the bedroom window. I stuff the ring in my pocket and run downstairs barefoot.

  Thinking to stop her, I unlatch the front door and throw it open.

  Except.

  She’s here. She’s not running away. She’s running toward me.

  Relief washes over me but also a bucket full of questions. And anger. What the hell?

  “Why did you tell your mom you wanted me to leave?” She steps onto the porch and her voice carries loudly into the house.

  Trying to come to terms with the fact that she’s dressed like she’s leaving me, I process her question.

  “What in the blazes are you talking about?” I shout to be heard over the roar of Levi’s truck. “Turn that damn thing off!” I glare in my youngest brother’s direction.

  “Are you trying to wake the whole house up?” Jessamine comes up behind me.

  “What’s going on out here?” The foyer light flicks on. Of course, nothing gets past my grandma.

  But I try to tune them out. Isabella thinks I want her to leave? I focus on her tormented gaze. “Sweetheart, sugar. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “With your mom.” Her eyes reflect the light shining on her from inside the house.

  “I heard it too, Tuck.” Jessamine’s voice chimes in behind me. “You told Mom you needed to ask Isabella to leave. You said things weren’t gonna work out…”

  At these words Isabella nods. “I was gonna leave this morning. So you wouldn’t have to send me away. But…” She brushes some escaped strands of hair away from her face. “It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand. So I made Levi bring me back.” She glances apologetically at Jessamine.

  “You knew about this?” I glance over my shoulder at my sister. “What the hell? Doesn’t anybody talk to me anymore?”

  “Why would you say those things, Tucker?” Jessamine demands.

  Oh, hell. It dawns on me. Talking with Mom…