The Perfect Emotion (Book Two of The Perfect Series)

by Rolka, Melissa

  “Oh.” She grades her teeth across her bottom lip trying to keep another smile from cursing her lips and damn if it doesn’t turn me on. “What happened? Why did you break up with her again?”

  “A couple reasons… she overdosed and she slept with my best friend, Chris.” God, I say a silent little prayer that she doesn’t ask about the details of that night. Silence stretches over us and I just give her time to process this all. I keep my hold on her, rubbing her arms and running my fingers through her hair. Kissing the top of her head and hugging her to me not willing to let go of her. After several minutes she breaks from me and moves to look over the balcony taking in the view. She turns around to face me and I brace myself for anything she gives me.

  “Did you love her?” Moving up off the lounge chair I cross the distance between us as quick as I can and take her in my arms.

  “Never.”

  “And what’s your relationship like now?

  “Well, I told you the tie of Jessica’s family to mine already. Her dad and my dad are in the business, law, but soon I’ll be involved and I’m sure she will too. That’s all there is between us as far as I am concerned, if even that.”

  “Do you still care about her?” I think on that for a moment.

  “That’s tough because I’ve known her since I was a kid. I’m not sure how to process her… Do I want anything bad to happen to her? No. Do I care about her like I do for you? No, never have.”

  “What about her… how does she feel about you?”

  Clicking my tongue moderately and then running it across my teeth I think about how Jessica feels about me. It’s hard to say. We never talked about our feelings for each other… probably because there was a lack of them on both our parts. Except deep down I know that Jessica always had more feelings for me than I did for her. There was always an uneven balance that pulled between us. “She likes me, has always liked me more than I’ve liked her and probably would want another chance,” I tell her honestly.

  “Do I have anything to worry about between you two?” Each time she asks a question the words flow from her mouth a little easier with less pausing dead space in between them.

  As quickly as I can I answer, “No. None.”

  “Okay,” she speaks so softly I have to read her lips. Worry that it’s really not okay settles in my mind briefly and is just as quickly removed when she leans up on the balls of her feet to kiss me. Her arms snake around my shoulders and her fingers twirl in the hair around my neck. She doesn’t say anything else and I don’t need her to because when she pulls away slightly the look on her face and the way her eyes bore into mine tell me everything I need to know. She trusts me.

  CHAPTER 26

  After the intense conversation with Reed my nerves and worries sunk into the back of my dark hidden thoughts. They were quickly replaced with hope, ease and trust. Our tongues swirled delightfully light across each other and our hands caressed with just the right amount of pressure. We moved inside and lied side by side on the crisp smooth leather of the sectional in the living room. I took in the details of Reed’s face, skin, and body as if looking for any flaws. None were to be found. The tenderness in Reed’s exploration kept me comforted. We explored over and under the confines of our clothes never crossing the barriers. It felt intimate and like a thorough examination. A good hour passed and then my stomach began to growl.

  We ventured back down the elevator to the lobby and Reed took me to a local sandwich shop across the street. I swear I could see him growing satisfied watching me eat. When we finished we decided to head back to campus to go play tennis.

  As we walk out onto the courts it hits me that I have therapy tonight. I’ve yet to really talk to Reed about my mom and the weekly therapy. It’s not that I intentionally want to lie to him, but I’m not sure that I want him to know everything yet. The courts are empty giving us our pick. Reed’s hand firmly holds mine as we walk down to the last court.

  “Is this one of your new skirts?” He asks while his fingers tug on the bottom of it.

  “Yes, you like?” I tease him with my flirty voice.

  “You know it, baby.”

  “Maybe if you’re good you can get a sneak peek later,” I say through my laugh as he starts to move in to kiss me.

  “Oh, I’ll be good, it’s you that should be worried.” Pushing myself into him I let my lips tingle his and nip lightly. “Will you sleep over again?” He asks.

  “Come on let’s start our game.” I break from him and start to head to the other side trying to avoid his question.

  “Kate?” He questions with raised eyebrows.

  “Reed?” I taunt him back and then serve a ball over into his court just to practice.

  “Tell me,” he says determinedly. “You think that I don’t know you that well, but I know you better than you give me credit for.” He returns my serve easily breaking his reply. “Whether you know it or not I pick up on every single little gesture, head tilt, shift in your eyes, biting of your lip and your specialty of avoiding things that are difficult for you to talk about… It’s fine though because I’m good at reading you and I’m patient, but eventually you’ll see that I’m not going anywhere and you’ll come to me on your own.” His words take the breath right out of me and the tingle in my chest spreads up to my head and down my hands. I shake my fingers out to loose the feeling and shift my stance. I swallow the lump that travels up my throat. I’m not going anywhere is the only words that repeat through my mind. Reed smiles sweetly at me letting me know that I don’t need to respond and so I don’t I just let his words absorb into my being.

  “You serve first,” I say. Of course I completely miss his first serve.

  After two matches and little conversation, we cross the courts and Reed grabs me to whisper into my ear, “Kiss on the cheek or kiss on the lips?”

  “Lips. Boob man or ass man?” I say, letting the seriousness of my face falter with a tight-lipped smile.

  “Boobs,” he chuckles and his hand traces the outline of my breast. “Jeans or suit?”

  Damn, that is a tough one. Reed looks delicious in both. “Jeans. Lingerie or nothing?” His eyes light up as he walks to his side of the court and readies himself to take my serve.

  I can see him struggling to answer this knowing that he probably enjoys both. “Lingerie.” Figures… that gives him more time to tease me and drag it out. I smile and return his backhand beautifully. “Bed or shower?” Shock spreads over his face and I smirk at him.

  He runs up to the net and misses my return and I do a little jump for glee in my head. “Shower.” Both of us pause back on our sides of the court gasping for air. I line myself up ready to deliver another serve as I wait for his question. We stare across at each other, but Reed stretches his neck and bounces back and forth on his feet. “Damn… you win. I can’t think of anything else now other than taking you up into the locker room shower.” I give him a look of disgust.

  “That is not going to happen mister! Ewwwww,” I say as I stretch my arms to make a serve.

  We finish up the game and then head up to the locker rooms. I only have enough time to shower and get ready to meet my mom. I quickly dry my hair as best as I can ringing out the remaining moisture as I walk back out to the main area. Reed is sitting with one ankle up on his leg looking like he is ready for a modeling shoot. In his hand he holds two smoothies. When I go to sit across from him he pulls me into his lap by my wrist. Without thinking twice I wrap my hands behind his neck and twirl my thumbs in the loose strands of his damp hair. His fingers rub along the links of the bracelet he gave me.

  “You ever take this off?”

  “Nope. Should I?”

  “No, I like that you don’t. Hopefully it deters your crushes to back off,” he says with a airy tone. I plant a peck on the corner of his mouth tasting the berry from his smoothie.

  “Stop, I don’t have any. I think that I’m the one who needs to worry,” I tease back.

  “You, my beautiful girl
, have me wrapped around your finger.” My heart softens and butterflies fill my belly.

  I take a sip of my smoothie enjoying the flavors that pour into my mouth. “Mmmm, this is perfect. Thank you.”

  “Thank you for today,” he whispers softly. His blue eyes flit over my face landing on my eyes. I can see the longing in his eyes and know that he wants more, more from me. I take in a slow and steady breath.

  “I go to therapy every week. Tonight I have to go. My mom comes up every week and we usually go in together.” I wait for his response, but he doesn’t say anything. His eyes brighten and relief fills his face.

  I continue, “I’ve never really told you this, but my mom left our family my senior year of high school. She’s only been back since right after… after I left last semester. When I got back home she was there. Now we’ve been working on repairing our relationship. Well, also, I work on myself… because you’re right I like to avoid things.” I move my hands to cup his face letting my fingers stroke his light stubble. “I’m glad you know me better than I had thought.” I barely get a breath in and Reed pushes his lips to mine with no hesitation slipping his tongue through past my teeth. It’s a short kiss, but filled with intimacy and passion.

  “You make me so happy. Thank you for sharing that. I want to drive you to the appointment.”

  “You make me happy too. Okay, I should go now then.”

  “Can I pick you up after?” He asks with hope.

  “Actually, we usually talk now afterwards too. Plus, I should hang with Maggie tonight.” I tell him wishing that I could go back to his place and sleep beside him.

  “Okay, but promise you’ll call me after. God, I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too… but my mom used to always say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

  “Too late, I’m already fonder.” He says against my lips before going back in for another taste.

  Walking up the paved steps hand in hand I scan the lobby looking for my mom. I don’t see her as we step into the lobby. Releasing Reed’s hand I reach to pull up the sleeve of my coat to check my watch and see I have about ten minutes until our appointment.

  “Hey,” Reed says, pulling my chin up towards him with his thumb. I look up into his eyes watching the blue turn into a deeper shade. “I’m proud of you. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you, but it’s good you are working on things, especially with your mom.”

  I shrug my shoulders and let a small smile settle on my lips. “Thanks.” Our eyes stay locked on one another and I can’t help feel that he feels something of regret or disappointment about his relationship with his dad. I hesitate on asking him about it and then its too late because a cool breeze blows in along with my mom. Reed and I separate to turn towards her.

  “Hi mom,” I say as I reach for her to hug her. She pulls me into her arms tightly and her strands of blonde tickle across my cheek mingling with mine.

  “Hi sweetie, I’m sorry I was almost late. Traffic was awful today.” She turns smiling brightly to face Reed. The smile on her face stretches wide and crinkles around her eyes. It’s genuine and honest. “Reed, how nice to see you!” She reaches over and hugs him too. I watch the interaction paying close attention to the expression on Reed’s face. His eyes light up and his shoulders relax into her embrace. It’s natural and comfortable.

  “Good to see you too, Mrs. Monroe. How are Mr. Monroe and Daniel doing?”

  “Please, call me Karen, dear. Good, everyone is good. Although, Daniel is giving me a bit of a run with all these girls calling all the time, they’re ruthless! And Mr. Monroe is swamped with tax season so I am left to filter the calls,” she jokes light heartedly. I start laughing thinking of Daniel and these girls.

  “I don’t know how you handle that I never had that problem when I was his age,” Reed chimes in playfully. Letting a look of disbelief settle on my face I shake my head at him.

  “I doubt that,” I say teasingly with a slight elbow to his side. Picturing a young cute Reed I can only imagine what the middle school girls were like. I turn to my mom, “You ready?”

  “Sure,” she looks from me to Reed and then asks, “Reed can you join us afterwards?” I had thought of that, but to be honest this is the first time we’ll have had therapy together since before spring break and I am actually looking forward to spending time along with her.

  “I’m sorry I can’t tonight. I have quite a bit of studying to do, but maybe we could do dinner this weekend.” My heart rate spikes up remembering his dinner plans he has on Saturday.

  “Oh that would really nice, let me talk with Dan tonight to see what his availability is. Good to see you.” She leans in to hug him again and walks towards the elevator giving us some privacy.

  Once she’s out of ear shot I step closer to Reed and reach up to hug him around his neck. “I’d like to steal you,” he whispers in my ear.

  “I don’t think kidnapping would look very good on your resume either,” I murmur into his chest.

  “See what you do to me, you’re driving me to committing crimes… murder, kidnapping, what’s next?”

  “None, I need you too much now.”

  “Good, that’s how I like it.”

  Stepping apart from each other, but holding hands I bite down on my bottom corner of my lip before I ask, “I thought you were busy this weekend.” His thumb pulls my lip free and he smiles at me.

  “Just on Saturday night, but we could go to dinner with your family on Sunday evening?” We just stare at each other as I take in his confirmation that he has plans still on Saturday and that I am still not invited. “Kate, I’d take you if I could. It’s… complicated. I swear to you if I didn’t have to go I wouldn’t go.”

  “Okay.” My eyes drift downward and I shift my feet nervously. “Its okay and yes I’m sure Sunday could work,” I say with a smile and looking him in the eyes again.

  “Hey, call me when you are done. I’ll be waiting to hear from you, okay?” His lips brush along mine and then he kisses me with a little more than a peck.

  “I will, bye,” I say and plant a soft kiss on his chin. Heading toward my mom I’m relieved that she is facing he opposite direction. When I reach her she pulls me to her side with her arm around me and we make our way into the elevator.

  During therapy the majority of the session is focused on me. We talk about Kyle, Reed and my mom. My therapist seems really pleased with my progress. The only thing I leave out is Reed’s confrontation with Kyle even though it gnaws at the back of mind quite a bit. My therapist also discusses the possibility of filing a restraining order. I don’t agree to file a restraining order, but to be honest the possibility of doing it settles on me for a moment longer than usual. Although my mind still hangs on to hope and the possibility that the situation with Kyle has remedied itself now. Mom mostly listens and contributes when needed. I talk openly about my relationship with Reed. Words of how I care about him and more importantly that I am beginning to trust him hit the air like ice cutting through water. Both my mom and therapist look pleased hearing me say this. As the session wrapped up it occurs to me that I am definitely making progress and facing conflict is becoming easier. I’m ready to hear and face the things I’ve avoided for too long.

  Feeling light and carefree my mom and I exit the building and head to her car. I’m not ready to leave her yet though. I ask her if we can go get something to eat and she seems more than thrilled.

  After placing our orders for food mom smiles at me like a Cheshire cat carrying a deep dark secret. Laughing I already know what she’s going to say though. “I’m very happy for you. I think Reed is a positive influence on you… and what a looker he is,” she whispers the last part afraid someone might hear her. Giggling I cover my face.

  “Mom!”

  “What, I’m just saying. I may be your mom, but I know cute when I see cute, dear.”

  “Yes, he’s very cute, but he’s more than that,” I say with a more serious tone.

  “That is qu
ite obvious and what’s most important is that he cares for you. Seeing you this happy makes me happy… and proud. That is all I ever want for you in life. I know that these last few years have not been easy on your heart, but that is all changing now and you being able to move forward is what is best. I’ve seen how you have opened up, accepted the struggles of the past and learned to deal with conflicts. So, yes when I see how happy Reed makes you and that you are changing in a positive way it makes my heart sing. Your happiness means everything to me Kate. I know I took some of that away from you and all I want is to see it replaced.”

  My lips quiver and the back of my eyes begin to sting. I can’t blink because I know the pools that are building in my eyes will leak down my reddened cheeks. “M-mom,” my breathing is shaky, but I push myself to ask what I want to know most. “Are… are you happy too?”

  Unable to hold in the tears any long they stream long and fast down my cheeks, but I keep my breathing steady. The restaurant is quiet and we are towards the back away from others. I pray that the waiter keeps his distance. Mom reaches across the table for my hand and begins to stroke it reassuringly.

  “Yes, I am. Now, but it took some time,” she says truthfully looking into my tear stained face. Her eyes glisten threatening to leak the same tears.

  “Wh-what happened, mom? I want to know. I’m ready to hear everything.”

  “Oh Kate, I don’t want to burden you any more than you already have been. It’s difficult and has nothing to do with you, sweetie. It doesn’t matter because I failed you and Daniel. I didn’t handle it right and I let it go too far.”

  “What mom? What went too far?” I practically shriek out. She swallows and rolls her eyes upward along with her chin and takes in a deep breath.

  There’s a silence that sits between us, but I keep my eyes locked on her showing her I want to know and that I’m ready. I need to know why she left, I need more in order to move on. I want and need to forgive her. I want to be able to trust her completely again.